


Hand in Glove (Getaway Car - Sequel)

by thelonelyuseless



Category: Alex Turner - Fandom, Arctic Monkeys, Miles Kane - Fandom, Mini Mansions, TLSP
Genre: 1930s, 1940s, America, Drug Use, F/M, Japan, References to Arctic Monkeys, Revenge, TLSP - Freeform, Violence, miles kane - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-03
Updated: 2019-05-14
Packaged: 2019-09-06 14:01:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 25
Words: 155,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16834057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thelonelyuseless/pseuds/thelonelyuseless
Summary: Miles Kane looks for answers after losing his friends and wife due to violent arrangements going astray.-'Getaway Car' sequel-





	1. 1923

\- I'll be leaving here soon.   
\- If it were up to me, you would stay here forever.  
\- Look, I know you're hurting and I'm sorry about that, I really am, but I'm hurting too.  
\- I'm not just hurting, Miles. I've been completely destroyed. I've had five funerals to attend, I still don't know how I'll explain to Aiden that his father is not coming back home ever again and on top of it all, I'm lying to everyone about what happened to Alexander.   
\- Alex didn't do anything to Al Capone, not him or any of the boys, actually.   
\- Then why was he killed? Why, Miles?

Miles hesitated a bit.

\- They wanted, and by "they" I mean Al Capone and his men, Lil to kill Jamie. I still don't know why. - Miles said, carefully. He didn't know how much the police had told Alexa about what happened, what really happened, to her husband.

It had been three weeks since he had seen his wife and friends for the last time.

\- I'm still shocked she was involved. She seemed just so lovely and... I can't believe she knew everything and she just kept lying to me! Lying about everything! About Alex, about herself, about you! - Some angry tears tried to slide down Alexa's face but she wiped them away.   
\- Lil adored you, it is true.

Miles felt like somebody had tied a knot to his throat.

\- But she couldn't tell you anything, it wasn't her right. - Miles continued.   
\- This is just wrong, Miles. My own husband, I— I was married for eight years to someone I didn't even know! - More tears.   
\- No, it's exactly the opposite. You, and only you, saw the true Alex. He was always so carefree and relaxed when he was at home but he was the entirely opposite when he stepped inside that damned pub. All of us, actually.   
\- I just miss him so much. Aiden asks about him more often than I can cope with. - Alexa looked down as if she was trying to hide her tears coming in flocks from Miles.   
\- I'm really sorry, Alexa. - Miles put both hands on the table, the shackles on his wrists.

He put his hands back on his lap.

\- How are the other ladies holding up? - Miles asked after a minute of silence.  
\- I don't know.

Alexa paused.

\- Katie and Kelly moved away. - She looked back at Miles. - Breana will move away soon, as well.  
\- What about you? - Miles asked.   
\- I'm staying. I have no one, nowhere else. My parents told me that if I married Alex, I could consider myself an orphan, so that's what I'm doing.   
\- I see.  
\- What about you? - Alexa asked back.   
\- I'll go try to find some answers. I need to find out who wanted Jamie killed and why.   
\- You should just let it go. - Alexa said, holding Miles' gaze. - This whole thing has reaped too many lives, already.

Miles lowered his head and rested his forehead against the table's dark wood.

\- I lost her. It's been killing me, Alexa. We were gonna start a family, we were gonna be finally happy. She had been through so much in her life and I was happy I was the one whom she was going to live her best days with.

Alexa stayed silent for a while.

\- What about your son?

Miles looked at Alexa.

A question mark hovering above his head.

\- She called me from Tampa, the night before she died.

\- _Hello?_

_Somebody was crying on the other end of the phone call._

_\- Hello? Who is it? - Alexa asked, alarmed._   
_\- It's me, Alexa._   
_\- Oh my God, you scared me! What is happening? Why are you crying? Are you hurt?_   
_\- Sorry. - Lil said before taking a deep breath. - I'm just so confused, right now. I'm sorry I'm calling you but I just need to talk to someone._   
_\- Do you want to come over? I can ma—_   
_\- I'm not... in town._   
_\- Where are you?_   
_\- It's better if you don't know. I'm leaving, Alexa._   
_\- Leaving? Is Miles with you, then?_   
_\- No, he's not. I'm leaving him._   
_\- What? Why?_

_Lil took another deep breath._

_\- He has a son with another woman. She had him several months before Miles and I got married, before we even got together, he didn't cheat on me, but I cannot stay with him knowing there's a child of his roaming around without its father._

_It wasn't a lie, but it also wasn't the sole real reason she was leaving the man she loved so much._

_It's just that Alexa couldn't know the truth._

_\- I... this is... - Alexa was stammering._   
_\- I told Miles to try to make it work with her so he'll be able to give the boy his name._   
_\- But this is insane! And where are you going?_   
_\- I'm not sure where I'm going but I plan to go as far away as possible. I love Miles more than anything in this world and it pains me too much, having to leave him, but I know that if I stayed, it would just be worse to everyone._

\- She said she was leaving you so you could make some sort of arrangement with the woman and give the boy your name. - Alexa answered Miles' silent question about how she knew about Miles' son.

\- She didn't have to leave. - Miles said, closing his eyes.  
\- She didn't. But the two of you couldn't stay married and you know it. I don't think she could stand living in the same city as you under those circumstances and since she did all of that so you could be with your son, are you really not doing it?   
\- I didn't say that.   
\- But maybe you thought of it. I don't know how the boy's mother will ever allow you near the kid again, now, but... you're still his father.  
\- In a week or so the police will release a statement claiming that I'm actually innocent and that all of this was a mistake. They're doing it in exchange for my help. I'm gonna help them to catch all the alcohol traders. That's the only way I can get out of here and... do what I have to do.

Alexa stayed silent.

\- Alex's death will be considered exactly what it is; a mistake. And so will Jamie, Nick and Matt's.  
\- What about Lil's?

Miles sighed heavily.

\- The police killed her so there's nothing to be done, they would never say something like she was taken down by mistake. Her charges will stand. It hurts to think people out there will badmouth her and hate her forever but there is nothing I can do... at least not for now.

Both fell silent again.

\- I better get going. - Alexa said, after a while. - I shouldn't have come, in the first place but I felt like it was my duty, to give you this. - Alexa put a little piece of paper on the table and pushed it towards Miles. - I made sure it was all taken care of.

Miles grabbed it but didn't open it, didn't ask anything.   
He knew there was only _one_ thing Alexa could have "taken care of" on his behalf.

Alexa got up and left.

As promised, one week later Miles was released from jail and made his way back home.

His, Alex, Jamie, Nick, Matt and Lil's names were printed on every newspaper.   
They had, except by Lil, been discharged from all of the accusations.

Miles got into his house and was received by a pile of mail on the floor, all of his plants were dead.

The rose bush Lil loved so much had died of thirst.

Miles realized his mum hadn't been stopping by.

With a heavy sigh, he made his way to the bedroom and sat on the bed on Lil's side.

He closed his eyes.

\- _Come here. - Lil patted the empty space next to her on the bed._  
 _\- Babe, I have to leave. - Miles said, buttoning up his shirt in front of the mirror._  
 _\- You're always saying that._

_She stretched out her arms in his direction._

_He grabbed her hands._

_\- What is it? - He asked, sitting by her side._

_She just kept looking at him with a small smile on her face._

_He couldn't help but to smile at her as he watched her smile grow bigger and then she started laughing._

_\- What is it?_   
_\- Nothing. - She replied._

_He laughed and she laughed with him._

_She leaned to give him a kiss._

_\- Oh, I already know what you want._   
_\- Do you now?_   
_\- Yeah._   
_\- And what would it be? - She asked with a playful smile._   
_\- You don't want me to leave._   
_\- Mhm... I can't say you're wrong. I never want you to leave but right now it is not the only reason. - Lil said, adjusting the collar of Miles' shirt. She caressed his left cheek. - It is just that sometimes I just feel this urge of looking at you and telling you that_

\- I love you. - Miles whispered.

He looked down at his feet.

\- It is not fair.

Miles put his hand on the pocket of his jacket and grabbed the piece of paper Alexa had given him.

\- I don't want it to be what I think it is.

He put the piece of paper on the nightstand and got up, grabbed some fresh clothes and walked into the bathroom.

It was not until he closed the door that he found himself frozen.

Hanging on the back of the bathroom door, was one of Lil's favourite robes.

The silk robe she was wearing on the night she knocked on Miles' hotel bedroom, in Montana.

_I hated it when you left._

\- This is not going to be easy. - Miles shook his head and turned around to really look at himself into the mirror for the first time in a month.

It seemed he had aged ten years in just a month.

Miles undressed himself and got in the shower.

And for the first time since everything happened, he allowed himself to cry all the tears he had been holding back.   
But unlike Lil, Miles _didn't_ sob when he cried.

Now wearing fresh, comfy clothes, Miles made his way back to bed and sat on Lil's side of it again.   
He looked at the small piece of paper on the nightstand, once more.

Somebody knocked on the front door.

\- No, not now. - Miles buried his face in his hands.

The knocks went on.

Miles got up and went to answer the door, he slipped on a letter on the floor and almost fell. He cursed loudly and opened the door with an unamused face.

\- Mum, hi. Come on in. - He left the door open and walked back to the sofa, kicking the mail on the floor to the side so his mom wouldn't slip on it as well.   
\- You look awful. - Pauline said, closing the door behind her and walking towards Miles.  
\- I've had kind of a difficult month. - He said, sarcastically.   
\- Nothing you didn't deserve. - Pauline said, finally sitting down on the sofa opposite the one Miles was sitting.

He was looking at her with furrowed brows.

\- I just came to tell you I'm leaving.  
\- I'm sorry?  
\- I'm going to Germany, Miles.   
\- Why?   
\- I cannot stay here anymore. Not after everything you've done.   
\- So you're just gonna leave me here? You're gonna leave me alone now that I'm going through hell?   
\- Don't play this card on me! I sent you through customs once, I helped you run away from England, I wanted you to start a new life here in the States but you got here and started being a criminal again!   
\- Mum, it is not like it, I—  
\- You killed people, Miles Kane! There's no excuses for that! You _and_ your wife wiped out half of the States population!  
\- You're exag—  
\- I should have let the police arrest you back home.

Miles stopped trying to say anything and just kept staring at his mother.

\- If I had done that, we wouldn't be here now but you also wouldn't have killed anyone. I regret helping you back then and if there is something I could do to help the police lay their fingers on you, I would do it. I don't know how you managed to convince them you're innocent because we both know you're not.

Miles stayed silent.

\- I'm so disappointed. - Pauline sighed heavily. - You make me feel like I've failed as a mother. I am scared of the person you have become and... and thank God that woman is dead because she would have gotten _you_ killed too.   
\- Are you finished? - Miles asked, clenching his jaw.  
\- Yes.

Miles got up and left the house, walking away from it as quickly as possible, not really paying attention to where he was going.

He ended up at the _Arctic_.

Everything had been covered by white sheets, dust all over.   
Enormous stains of dried blood on the floor.

Miles felt a pang in his stomach.

He walked towards the bar and started looking for any drink he could find. He grabbed a bottle of whiskey and downed it as fast as he could.

He threw the bottle across the salon and heard it shatter to a thousand pieces, once he was finished drinking.

Miles sat on the floor as the alcohol started to make him feel dizzy.

\- It's ok... Alex will be here any minute. Matt will come in right after. Jamie isn't coming to work today but Nick... Nick is going... to pick up Lil and... here.

Miles kept saying random things about his friends and daily chores they used to do to keep the pub running. He fell asleep eventually.

\-------------------------------------------------------

\- You! - A staggering Miles pointed at a man.

It was late at night.

Miles was carrying a bottle of vodka with him.

\- Oh, look at who came pay us a visit. - The man said.

Miles walked towards Al Capone and stopped in front of him.

\- Can I help you with something? - Al said.

Miles spit on Al's face.

\- You killed my wife! You killed my friends! - Miles pushed his index finger against Capone's chest.  
\- No. - Al spoke as he cleaned his face with a red handkerchief. - The _police_ killed your wife. And about your friends: I didn't kill them as well. I was there, yes. But I don't pull triggers, I have people to do that for me.   
\- Who wanted Lil to kill Jamie?   
\- That is a good question... but I can't give you that answer, you must earn it.

Miles squinted his eyes at Al.

\- Come work for me, Miles.

Miles bursted into laughter.

\- You are fucking sick! SICK! - Miles shouted at Capone's face. - I wouldn't work for you even if you were offering me the last job on earth. YOU HAD MY FRIENDS KILLED!

Al punched Miles in the face, the latter took two steps back, letting go of the vodka bottle, and pressing his bleeding nose.

\- Thank you for stopping yelling. - Al said, sarcastically. - It kinda irritates me. I know you're somewhat drunk but it still doesn't give you the right to keep yelling at my face.

Miles tried to get back at Al but only got punched on the face again.

This time he fell.

\- You're going to pay for everything, Alphonse. - Miles looked at him, from the floor. And then he started laughing again. - And my God, you throw punches like a lady. No, not like a lady, no, because Lil had more strength on her fists than you ever will.

Al kicked Miles in the ribs but that only made he laugh harder. He put his foot on Miles' throat but the smile on the man's face never faded.

\- I have to admit you've got some nerve... and that's the only reason you're still breathing. I want to witness you being broken and torn apart by your enemies. And when they're done toying with you, you're gonna come running to me for help.  
\- Haha, on your dreams, maybe. - Miles managed to say, despite having Al's foot pressing down on his throat. - You will pay. Let it be by my hand or the hands of fate, you will—

Al pressed his foot harder on Miles neck until he passed out.

\-------------------------------------------------------

When Miles woke up, a few hours late, he thought he saw a bright, red light.

\- I've h— Miles stopped talking and put his own hand around his neck. He coughed.

_Rumour has it people see lights when they die but I've never heard anything about the light being red. I must have arrived at Hell._

Miles lifted his upper body so he was now sitting on the floor instead of laying down on it.

He realized the light he was seeing wasn't _red._ The red was caused by blood getting into his eyes.

Miles looked around. He saw a broken bottle of vodka on the floor and despite knowing where he was, he didn't remember getting there.

\- I hate being alone.

He gave it a moment before getting up for real.

\- Ow, ow! - Miles put his hand on his ribs. He pulled his shirt up to look at was happening.

A huge pink bruise was covering most part of the left side of his ribs and stomach.

A memory flashed.

_I have to admit you've got some nerve._

\- Oh, I'm fucked.

Miles started to walk while he tried to remember the rest of his encounter with Al Capone and what were the words they had exchanged.

_Come work for me, Miles._

His legs were working by themselves.   
A muscular memory, taking him home.

\- _Come work for me, Miles. -_ Miles echoed those words, mocking Al Capone's voice.- Presumptuous bitch!

He also remembered he had spit on the man's face.

And then he started laughing again.

\- HAHAHAH— ow! HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA! Ow, ow! Ok, I'll stop. I'm going insane, that's the only explanation.

Miles was walking alone, on the empty streets of the city he hated so much, now. If he could, he would just leave.

But he had anchors in Miami, now.

\- I need to get my shit together. - He closed his eyes for a second. - I can't lose my mind just now. - Miles stopped walking for a moment. - Here's what you gonna do. - He opened his eyes, took a deep breath and started walking again. - First of all; you're gonna get back home and you're gonna take a shower and stop drinking. Second; you're going to see your son in the morning. Third; set fire to the _Arctic._ It sounds really dramatic and you could just sell the place but it is part of your history and you know you couldn't just give it away.

Miles could see his house, now.

\- Then you're gonna... tell the police to fuck off and put a bullet on Al Capone's head.

He sighed heavily.

\- No, you're not gonna mess with him. Don't forget you're alone, now. The boys are not here anymore, Lil isn't around anymore. Your mother is going away. You can't count on them. You have your son, Miles Kane. You have your boy... - Miles sighed. - it's time to stop being so impulsive.

Miles got in his house and closed the door behind him.

\- I have to do something about this fucking mail.

He went to the bathroom in his bedroom.

\- Son of a... - Miles was studying his own face into the mirror. A cut on his right brow. Dry blood all around his nose, staining his mouth as well. He took his shirt off and the bruise on his ribs had started to change its colour to a strange shade of purple.

Miles got in the shower again.

If it wasn't the pain, he could swear he was going through a flashback.

After the shower, he went back to bed, again.

This time, he laid on his side of the bed.

\- For fuck sake, I can't breathe. - Miles rolled over on his side, looking for a comfortable position he could fall asleep in.

He ended up resting his whole weight on the right side of his body, looking at Lil's side of the bed. It was the first night he was going to sleep on their bed without her.

\- I miss you so much.

Miles ran his hand through the sheets.

His eyes fell upon the nightstand again.

Miles stretched his arm and grabbed the nightmare disguised as a piece of paper.

And _it was indeed_ what he thought it was.

The number and location of Lil's plot at the Cemetery.


	2. Double Visions

\- What happened to your face?

Suki had a confused expression painted all over her own face when she opened the front door of her house on that Friday morning.

\- Let's just say I ran into someone. - Miles said. - Uh... can I come in? - He asked, after a few moments went by and Suki didn't move.  
\- S-sure. - She stepped aside.

Miles got in and stopped by the door, waiting for Suki to turn her attention to him.   
He had his hand wrapped in bandages, too. It was not only until he got home that he realized he had a cut on his hand, as well.

\- I... uh... we need to talk, again. - Suki told Miles and asked him to sit down. - I'm sorry about what happened to... you know, your friends and your wife but...   
\- But?  
\- For safety reasons, I _have_ to know if you were involved with "the money murders". I have to be sure no one is coming for _us_. - She was referring to her son and herself.   
\- Did you read yesterday's paper?  
\- Yes, I did. It said that all the charges pressed against you were a mistake but I remember you've been out of town for months and months at the same time everything was happening, the murders, I mean. It was all pinned down on your wife but you were with her during that very period so did you really not know?

 _Clever._ Miles though to himself.

He took his sunglasses off before answering.

\- No. I did not know. - He shamelessly lied. - Yes, you are right, I was with her during that period but I wasn't with her the whole time. We _always_ stayed at the same hotel but _never_ in the same bedroom. - Another lie. - She had all the nights in the world to do whatever she wanted without me knowing.  
\- Mhm...  
\- It was a shock to me, too. But do you mind? I don't want to talk about it.  
\- Yes, sorry.

Miles nodded.

\- How are the two of you doing? - He asked.  
\- We're fine. Austin is getting bigger and bigger every day. - She flashed a tiny smile while talking about her son. - And I'm good, too.   
\- That's great, then.  
\- Yeah.  
\- Is he awake?  
\- Yeah, he's in his crib. Sorry, it's just that... your face. It's kinda...  
\- I'm gonna be alright.   
\- I hope so. Well, you know where his bedroom is so... make yourself at home.  
\- Thanks.

Both got up.

Miles went to Austin's bedroom and Suki went back to the kitchen, she was testing some new receipts for the restaurant's menu.

\- Hello, big boy! - Miles greeted his son, picking him up. - Your mom did tell me you're getting bigger every day but wow, you're almost as tall as me! - He kissed Austin's head.

Miles had seen Austin just one time since he found out about being the boy's dad.  
It was on the next morning Lil had left their house. She had told him to go look for her _after_ he had a chat with Suki.   
And it was exactly what he did.

\- Oh, do you want to talk? - Miles playfully asked while Austin babbled non-stop. - I know right! That's true.

Miles lifted Austin up in the air and the boy started to laugh a delicious laugh. Miles laughed too.

\- It's a beautiful day outside, what do you think about going for a stroll with your dad? Yes, you say? So let's ask your mother, shall we?

Before exiting the room, Miles grabbed the teddy bear Austin was playing with when he arrived.

\- Suki? - Miles called, unsure about where Suki was.  
\- _Yes? -_ She replied and Miles walked towards the sound of her voice.   
_-_ I was wondering if I could take Austin for a stroll on the boardwalk.  
\- I don't see why not but how skilled on babies are you? Do you need me to come along?   
\- I'm kinda skilled, I mean, I used to hang out at Alex and Alexa's 'ouse and they 'ave a son, too, so... yeah. I've changed a few diapers. I don't _need_ you to come but you're welcome to come with us if you want to.

Suki sighed.

\- Alright... I think it's gonna be good for you to spend some time alone with Austin but do you promise you'll come running here if _anything_ happens?   
\- Yes, I promise. But don't worry, everything is gonna be fine.   
\- Yes. Just... wait a second.

Suki left for a second and came back shortly, carrying Austin's bag and a hat.

\- Everything he needs is inside this bag. - She told Miles, adjusting the strap of the bag on his shoulder and then putting the hat on Austin's head. - And please, never let him out of your sight.  
\- Of course not!  
\- Alright, alright. Well, - She said, walking towards the door and opening it. - have fun, you two. - She kissed Austin's nose when Miles walked past her with the boy in his arm, on their way out. - See you later.   
\- See you later.

Miles started walking around, bouncing the baby in his arm and giggling along with him.  
They arrived at the boardwalk about fifteen minutes later.

Some people were looking at the two of them, one because it wasn't common to see a man walking alone with a baby and two because Miles was now known by the whole town after everything that had happened, but Miles didn't really care.   
He didn't owe anything to anyone.

\- That's the sea. - Miles pointed at the same direction Austin was pointing at. - It is beautiful, isn't it?

Austin started to babble again.

\- I believe we're going to 'ave deep talks in the future. Well, at least I hope to live long enough to help you grow up... I'm trying to be a little less stupid.

After naming a few other things Austin would randomly point to, Miles decided it was time to sit down for a bit and make Austin drink some water.

\- So, I was thinking... how would you like 'aving a room at your dad's 'ouse, eh? I 'ave two bedrooms in my 'ouse but I just need one. I've been thinking about it while I was _away,_ you know? - Miles was saying while holding Austin's baby bottle for him so he wouldn't shake it and spill water all over himself. - I don't think it is going to be for long, tho... I mean, your mother and I 'ave to think how we're gonna work this out so I can give you my name. I don't really wanna marry her, don't tell her I said that, but I'm willing to do anything for you. I don't want to be to you the same father my dad was to me.

Miles sighed.

\- _I don't know... it's really "whatever" for me._  
 _\- Really?_

_Miles and Lil were laying down in their bed after taking a shower to remove all the paint they had spread over each other's body._

_\- Yeah._   
_\- I thought women secretly rooted for girls, always._   
_\- I think they do but not me, I mean, it's a tiny human, either way. It's going to drive us crazy, either way. - Lil giggled a little._   
_\- That is very true._   
_\- But what is it with you that you've been talking about babies, at least once every day, since last week?_   
_\- I don't know... I think I'm curious about fatherhood. - Miles said._   
_\- Well, once everything has been taken care of, we can think about babies as much as we want. We even have the spare room screaming to become a nursery... it's almost as we're already expecting._   
_\- Are you sure we're not?_   
_\- Yes, I'm sure. Sorry... But that could change soon._

\- I talk too much, don't I?

Austin seemed to not want to drink water anymore so Miles put his bottle back inside the bag and the boy on the ground so he could walk around a little.

 _Well, Austin, I wish I was here when your mother went to look for me to tell me she was expecting you._  
 _Maybe the whole story would have been different._ Miles though to himself.

 _-_ Austin, no! - Miles picked his son up again. - Dirt is not for eating. - He said, laughing a little while making sure the little one didn't have dirt on his hands anymore. - Well, I think it's time for us to go back home, right?

It was almost noon when Miles knocked on the door of Suki's house, again.

Despite being a sunny day, it wasn't hot so Miles didn't feel like he had to hurry up or cut short his time with his son.

\- We're back! - Miles told Suki when she opened the door for him for the second time that morning.  
\- Hi! - She smiled broadly when Austin stretched his little arms towards her and Miles passed the boy to her arms. - Did you behave?  
\- I think he's going to start talking pretty soon.

Miles said while Austin was making random cute baby noises.

\- Yeah, actually he knows how to say "mama" already.   
\- Oh, does he?  
\- Yes. He was crying the other day because he got upset about something and I was trying to calm him down when he said it. It was really cute, actually.   
\- I bet it was.   
\- Yeah.  
\- Well, here's his bag, and I put his teddy inside because he got really fascinated by the seagulls and forgot about it completely. - Miles smiled a little. - I better get going, now.  
\- Don't you want to stay for lunch? I mean, you could spend a little more time around Austin and also, I was cooking this new pasta receipt and it would be really marvelous to receive feedback from someone who isn't, well, me... What do you say?   
\- Well, yeah. Sure. Sounds like a plan.

\-------------------------------------------------------

\- What happened this time? And what the hell happened to your face? - Alexa asked Miles, when he showed up at her house by the end of the afternoon on that cloudy Saturday. She invited him in.

_\- Oh my God, what happened to your face?_

_Miles meant to touch Lil's face but stopped before his fingers really touched her cheek._   
  
_\- What? Oh! - She touched her own face while looking from one side to another of the hallway of the third floor on the hotel she'd been staying for six months, now. - It's just make up. - She told him, referring to the several "bruises" and "blood" she had on her face._

_Lil had found out she could make it look like as if she had been hit by applying just the right amount of make up in the right places. That could be useful to help her and the boys to disguise because who would have a black eye on a day and a perfect clear skin on the next one, right? It would be almost impossible to link any of them to anything they had done on the day or few days before._

_\- But come in and close the door behind you, please. - she continued. - I trust you have something important to tell me, otherwise you wouldn't be here._

_When Miles left her room, later that afternoon, he had a "bruise" on his face as well._

\- I came to speak to you about the _Arctic._ What is it with the dark circles? - Miles asked back, but none of them replied anything regarding those questions.  
\- What about the _Arctic_?   
\- I was thinking of... _selling_ it but before I do that, I'd like to know if you 'ave any plans regarding it.  
\- No, I have not and I don't want to hear another word about that damned place. Do whatever you please with it.  
\- It's not "damned"... that pub was one of the boys' prides, you know that. And besides, I think a little money coming in would be helpful.   
\- I don't need any money. I just found out Alex left a fuc— She stopped talking and took a deep breath before continuing. - fortune for Aiden and I so we're covered for, basically, the rest of our lives. I _don't_ wanna know where the money comes from but I also can't just refuse it because if Aiden really needs it in the future so I'd be the one to blame for not keeping it.   
\- The money is clean, it didn't come from any robberies, I can promise you that.

_It is true we had to kill a few people in order to get it but... we really didn't steal it._

Alexa just kept staring at Miles.

\- So you really don't want to take part on the pub' sale?  
\- No.   
\- Are you sure?  
\- Completely.   
\- Ok, then.

Both stayed silent.

\- Where's Aiden?   
\- Taking a nap. He's kinda feverish.  
\- But is he alright?  
\- Yeah, yeah.   
\- Good. Tell him I stopped by, when he wakes up, if you will.  
\- Right.  
\- I... I went to see my son, yesterday. He reminds me of Aiden a whole lot, actually.

Alexa hesitated but she really loved kids so she couldn't help but to engage on that conversation.

\- Really?  
\- Yeah.   
\- You never told me his name.   
\- True that, I'm sorry. His name is Austin.  
\- It's a beautiful name.  
\- Yeah. - Miles smiled a tiny smile. - Maybe I'll bring him to pay you and Aiden a visit, soon.  
\- It would be lovely, actually.

Miles nodded.

\- Have you thought about what it's going to be your position regarding his mother, yet?  
\- I 'ave, actually. But I'm really unsure... I don't want to marry her. I know I _have_ to, otherwise it could be very weird to 'ave another man raise my son but I don't really want to. It is being really hard to decide what to do because if I want to be a good father, I 'ave to marry Suki and it'd be advised she would move in with me, but can I do it? I don't think I'm ready to allow anyone into my house... into Lil's house.  
\- I know how it feels. I'm not even allowing visitors around here, let alone having someone move in with me.   
\- Yeah, you get me.   
\- Yes. But give yourself a break, would you? I mean... not that I'm giving a fuck about you right now but I think it's important you do that for the kid. Choose to do something but don't do it right away, just give it a few days to feel like it is really what you want. What would be worse: having another man raising your child or being married to his mother but hurting over each other and having the kid as the only reason you two are together? You think you could live like that?   
\- I hate to admit it when you're right and you're right all the time. - Miles told Alexa. - I was ready to start a family but not like this... not... it should be with her, not Suki. I don't even know why I got involved with Suki, in the first place. If I could just go back in time, Alexa...  
\- What would you change?  
\- I wouldn't 'ave followed her home. - Miles said, with a heavy sigh.   
\- Her...?  
\- Lil. If I hadn't done that, it wouldn't change the fact her house caught fire and that prick she once called a husband died but I wouldn't have gotten to know her and I wouldn't 'ave fallen in love with her so... I wouldn't be hurting this much right now. I didn't even know it was possible to hurt this much! It's just terrible.  
\- I think you should just... You're pushing it. If you feel sad, just allow yourself to feel sad for a while before picking yourself up to do anything else. It is what I'm doing, hence the dark circles and me looking dead. Maybe you should just go spend some time with your mom, I don't know.  
\- She left, yesterday.   
\- Left? - Alexa furrowed her brows.  
\- Yes. Left. Germany.  
\- Why?  
\- She doesn't want to be around me anymore.

_She is not as dumb as everyone else around here, she knows perfectly well I did everything they were accusing me of. She knows me like the back of her hand._

\- But I'm actually glad she left.  
\- And why is that?  
\- I... well, I am going to go look for some answers so it's really... good she's not around so they can't use her against me. She's safe.  
\- I told you that and I'm going to say it again: I think you should just let it go. What is the use, now? They're all dead, it is not... nothing we do will bring them back.  
\- I'm too tired to let it go, Alexa. I'm tired of just accepting it all happened. You had eight years with Alex, I didn't 'ave a whole year with Lil, is it really fair? Matt, Jamie and Nick didn't 'ave a whole year with their newborns... Is it really fair?

The more upset Miles would get, stronger would be his accent.

\- It is not. But if you keep insisting on getting answers from whoever is it you're going to ask questions, I doubt you're going to have a whole year with Austin, as well. - Alexa said.   
\- No.

_Nobody is going to catch me this time._

\- Everything will be just fine.   
\- Miles, you don't know who these people are! Lil knew, that is why she did what she did, but look at what happened to her!   
\- It is exactly because of what happened to her that I need to go looking for some answers.  
\- You're fucking stupid, did you know that?   
\- Yes, I know and I won't fight you on that. But don't worry, I know what I'm doing.   
\- No, you're not. But this time, it isn't really my problem.  
\- Exactly.

Alexa sighed.

\- Do we really need to keep on being rude to each other? - Miles asked.  
\- No. It's just I want to strangle you right now... but, no, we don't have to.  
\- Thank you.

Miles got up from the chair and walked towards Alexa, he hugged her and she hugged him back.

\- It's going be alright. We're going to go through this and then we're walking out of it a lot stronger.   
\- I don't know, Miles... - Alexa said in a tiny voice.  
\- It's going to be alright.

\-------------------------------------------------------

\- So here we are, again.

Miles was sitting on the floor of his bathroom, looking at a bottle of Veronal that looked exactly like the one he bought on that day he miscalculated the dosage and took way more cachets than he should have and ended up being dragged to the hospital.

He had come back home from the pharmacy, after having left Alexa's house, five hours ago.

He didn't catch any sleep since he had left jail on Thursday.

\- A few things done, a few things still on the list but I really think I should slow down, now. Give myself some time, like Alexa said.

This time, Miles took two cachets and put the bottle on the sink. He laid down on the bathroom floor and reached for the door, closing it.

Lil's robe still hanging behind it.

\- I didn't mess up the dosage this time. - Miles said, looking at the robe. His arm stretched, his hand up in the air, trying to touch the fabric even though he knew he couldn't reach it unless he moved closer to it. Feeling sleepy already. - But if I over-dosed it again, would you come? - He let his arm fall to the ground. - Would you? - He turned his head to look at the bottle on the sink.

Miles could feel his limbs getting heavier and heavier, his eyes starting to close. And yet, he managed to reach the bottle on the sink and took another cachet.

Even though this time he ended up taking three cachets, it wasn't enough to kill him.  
It was just enough to send him down on a trip sponsored by his senses and a drugged brain.   
He didn't know if what he saw and did on that Saturday night was real or not.

_But it did feel real._

\- Miles?   
\- Huh?  
\- What are you doing on the floor?   
\- I was waiting for you.  
\- Me?

Lil sat by Miles side, on the floor. She was wearing the very robe Miles was trying to reach, earlier.

\- Yes. - He looked at her.  
\- But darling, nobody told you I'm never coming back?   
\- They did... but I was still hoping you would come.   
\- Never going down without a fight, right?  
\- You remember that?   
\- Of course I do. - Lil caressed Miles' left cheek.

He smiled.

\- Where have you gone?   
\- Everywhere. - She simply said, running her fingers through his hair.   
\- I miss you so much. - He touched her face, cupping her cheek.   
\- I miss you too. No, don't cry. - She leaned in to stop a teardrop from falling down his face, with her lips. - You know I hate it when you're sad.   
\- I'm sorry that happened to you.   
\- I know, you say that in your sleep. - Lil smiled sadly at Miles. - But it is alright, now.  
\- I miss you. - Miles said again. - All the time. Your scent is fading away from your things, you're starting to fade away from this house. I am scared I'll forget... I'm scared I'll forget the sound of your voice and the softness of your skin. - Miles adjusted his position so now he was sitting in front of Lil. - I don't know what to do so you won't fade away.  
\- A time will come that you will have to let me go in order to move on, and that is perfectly alright. Don't feel guilty about it when you know it's time, deep down you'll know when it's time. 

Miles just kept staring at Lil while she caressed his face. He didn't want to tell her he would never let her go because, as always, she would try to convince him and she would _always_ outmuscle him in the end.

She was his weakness.

\- I'm worried about you, that's why I came. I mean, I like your new beard but I also know you're not growing it because you _want to,_ but because you _don't care_ about anything anymore... and you're also not sleeping. Do you remember what happened last time you didn't sleep?  
\- I do... but it was under different circumstances.  
\- How come?  
\- I... I needed to sleep so I wouldn't...  
\- Think about me.  
\- ...yes.  
\- It's the same scenario, then. Even the bottle of Veronal is on the floor next to you. - Lil shook her head and grabbed the small bottle, putting it back on the sink. - Lie down, love. - She said, gently pushing Miles back. - I'll stay with you until you fall asleep.  
\- And after that? - He asked, now really lying on the floor.

Lil laid next to Miles and rested her head on his chest. She didn't reply.

\- I won't sleep if you're leaving as soon as I close my eyes. - He held her tighter.  
\- For as long as you think of me, I won't really leave. And you're actually not alone, Miles.  
\- I feel like I am.

Miles fell silent and so did Lil.  
He could feel her weight on his chest but not her warmth.

\- I'm gonna set fire to the _Arctic._  
 _-_ Fire?  
\- Yes... I don't think I could, nor I want to, run it by myself. That place felt too empty already when just you left, imagine now all of you left...  
\- I understand. Let your scars lead the way, love.  
\- I'm trying to.  
\- I'm glad you're trying. And I'm glad you found it.   
\- Found it? - Miles felt confused and very _light._  
 _-_ Alex' safe, in his office.  
\- But we all knew where the safe is... it was never hidden.  
\- We _know_ where _one_ of them is.   
\- _One_ of them?

Miles wanted to open his eyes to look at Lil to see why she wasn't saying anything but he couldn't do it anymore. His eyelids were too heavy, weighing a ton each.

He just stopped fighting against that feeling and feel asleep a few seconds after.


	3. Red Ink

Miles woke up around 2am.

The sky displayed a big, round, full moon; illuminating things as if it was the Sun itself.

\- Ugh. - Miles put his hand on the side of his pounding head. He felt something soft against the skin of his left arm.

Miles looked down and saw Lil's robe tangled up in him, as if she had really fallen asleep on his chest like she loved to do. For a split second he could swear she was still in his arms.

He hugged the robe and closed his eyes, trying to remember _her_ smell.

After not moving for another ten minutes, Miles sat down on the floor, still tugging on the silk of the robe, he looked at the door by his left.

The only thing is that; he was still away from the door and therefore he still couldn't reach the robe there.

\- It's not possible. - Miles got up from the floor. He was, in fact, still a bit light headed and he couldn't quite concentrate on anything. It was like he was... sleepy but under the water.

He turned around to look at the bathroom.

The small bottle on the sink was exactly on the same place he remembered _Lil_ had put it.

Shivers went down his spine.

\- Get a grip, Miles. - He told himself, hanging the robe behind the bathroom door, again, before opening it.

Miles walked to the living room and sat on the couch, buried his face on his hands.

He was slightly shaking.

\- Don't lose control. - He stopped talking and inhaled, keeping the air in his lungs for a few moments. But he could feel something was off.

It was like he had had only a few moments of clarity before the fog started to creep up on his brain, again.

 _Breathe._ Her voice whispered in his ear.

Miles got up from the couch in a heartbeat, stumbling on the coffee table. He squinted his eyes and kept looking from one side to another, trying to see _anything_ in the dark _._

\- Stop hiding! - He said, frustrated when he couldn't see anything, or at least _anything_ he was _hoping_ to see.

Maybe if he wasn't still high on Veronal, he wouldn't be acting like that.

But then he was _sobbing_ when he reached for the telephone.

\- Turner 405, please. - Miles said, asking to be connected to the Turner's house. After a few moments, he started to hear the dial tones.   
\- _Hello?_ \- Alexa's hoarse voice could be heard. - _Who is it?_  
 _-_ She's here. - Miles said in a tiny voice, still looking around the room.   
\- _I cannot believe this "call Alexa's house, crying" thing is gonna become a routine. -_ Alexa sighed _. - Who is at your house, Miles?_  
 _-_ Lil is here.

Alexa didn't say anything for a moment.

\- _You know that is not possible._  
 _-_ She _is_ here, Alexa. - Miles insisted.  
\- _Did you drink anything? -_ Alexa tried to reason.  
 _-_ No.

Miles heard Alexa talking to someone on the other end of the line.

\- _mom's gonna take you back to bed in a second... -_ Her voice faded in. - _Miles, are you still there?_  
 _-_ Yes. I don't know what to do.

He gasped when he thought he had seen something but it was really just the curtains being gently blown by the wind.

\- _Miles, did you hear me?_  
 _-_ Uh?  
\- _I told you to go to wait for me on the porch, I'll get there in ten. Can you do that?_  
\- Ye-yeah.

Miles hung up, walking slowly towards the moving curtain. He pushed it out of his way and closed the window.

It was curious, how his brain seemed to work. Even though he wasn't exactly aware of what he was doing, he still _knew_ he had to close that window in order to stop that "vision" he was having.

He heard a noise, right behind him, but didn't really turn around to see what was happening.

 _I knew you were here._ He thought.

Miles seemed to be lost for a while, just frozen in his place, listening to the silence surrounding him. Alexa's words slowly starting to make sense for him.

And again, Miles' legs seemed to start moving by themselves. Suddenly, he was outside, waiting on the stairs of his home.

His eyes started to feel heavy, again.

\- What... happened?

Alexa stopped a few feet away from Miles, looking at him.

Well, looking at _his feet._

\- Are you alright? - Alexa touched Miles' face, making him look at her.   
\- Yes... - By now, Miles was fighting to keep his eyes open and really focus on anything. That floating sensation was beyond terrible.

He had traces of tears on his face.

Alexa felt her heart sink.

\- Come on, I'll take you back to my house. Just... can you walk?

She looked at Miles' feet, again.

\- What? - Miles seemed confused.  
\- You cut your feet... somehow. Doesn't it hurt?

Miles looked down at his own feet; blood everywhere.   
He didn't know how that had happened.

\- No.   
\- We can take care of it when we get home. - Alexa said, putting Miles' arm around her shoulder and helping him to get up. She managed to make him get into her car, and she was about to tell him not to make any noise because Aiden was asleep on the backseat but she really didn't need to. - What the hell is wrong with you, Mi? - She whispered as she walked to the driver seat and got into the car, as well.

———————————————————————

It was a cold, rainy afternoon.

The room was barely lit.

Miles had blankets pulled over him, laying down on a comfortable bed.   
A room and a bed he knew very well.

Lately it seemed like he was always sleeping and when he would finally wake up, he would do something, stupid or not, that would make him go to sleep, again. Willingly or not.

\- How did I end up 'ere?

Miles meant to get off the bed but he felt a sharp pain in his feet.

He heard the door open, slowly.   
A light went on.

\- Hi. Feeling better?   
\- Yeah, I'm fine. - Miles said and paused. - I just don't understand why I'm 'ere, I mean... I... and also my feet.

Alexa entered the room and closed the door, she sat by Miles' side on the bed of the room he used to live in while his house was under construction and he went to live with Alex for a while, some eight or nine years ago. His mum wasn't in the States yet so he couldn't have gone to live with her.

Could he have gone to stay in a hotel for a while? Yes.   
But Alex said Miles was welcome to stay and Alexa adored him as well; she and Alex weren't even married yet.

\- You phoned me, last night. - Alexa started, slowly. - You were crying and you said that Lil was at your house, not making a lot of sense, actually.

Miles just kept staring at Alexa.

_\- What are you doing on the floor?_   
_\- I was waiting for you._

"Memories" started dancing around his mind.

\- I don't remember calling. - He said.  
\- You told me you didn't drink but you were clearly...  
\- Yeah, I... took some Veronal cachets and... yeah.  
\- Again? Miles, last time you almost died!   
\- Yeah, but this time I knew how many cachets I should take an—  
\- Then what was that?

Miles sighed.

\- I took an extra cachet. - He confessed.  
\- Why would you do that?   
\- I needed to sleep. - Of course he wouldn't tell Alexa "I thought maybe Lil would come to save me again if I took too many pills." She would have him taken to a hospice in two seconds.  
\- You said the exact same thing last time.   
\- Yeah, but this time it was exactly it.  
\- Mi, you have to understand that we're talking about meds, and Veronal _is_ really dangerous. People _die_ from accidental overdoses.   
\- I know. I'm sorry.

\- _You say that in your sleep._

Miles shook his head.

 _-_ What was that about Lil being there, though?   
\- I... I thought I had seen her. I mean, I laid down on the bathroom floor after I took the cachets and kept staring at her robe, hanging on the back of the bathroom door and... I fell asleep, I guess, and dreamed about her. I remember her robe being tangled up in me when I woke up but I was still far away from the door so I couldn't have reached it there but... - Miles clicked his tongue. - Now I just think I might have gotten up and grabbed it, at some point. I kind of... panicked, I guess.  
\- Any clues about what happened to your feet?  
\- No. Not yet.   
\- I've never seen you so... wired, before.

The both of them seemed to be choosing their words very carefully.

\- You're so uptight and you keep twisting your hands. - Alexa pointed and Miles put his hands under his thighs. - You keep saying you're fine but you're not, Miles. I'm actually really worried about you.   
\- I should have stayed in jail, shouldn't I? - Miles tried to make a joke.  
\- I'm sorry I said that, I was, and still am, very upset but I didn't really mean it.   
\- I know.   
\- But I do mean it when I say I'm worried about you.   
\- I didn't think it would be so hard, to come home, I mean. I look at everything and everything there reminds me of her. You know we went shopping together sometime before the wedding and she chose almost all the furniture and rugs and curtains for the 'ouse and... I just miss her. I miss her terribly and it's just so hard.   
\- I know it is. You loved her very much.   
\- I still love her.   
\- Yes. - Alexa said, running her fingers through Miles' hair. - I miss my Alex, too. If he walked through that door, right now, I would just hug him and never let him go anywhere again. I was _furious_ at all of you, at first, but now I just miss everyone. I miss Alexander, I miss Jamie, I miss Matthew, I miss Nicholas and, I'm still pretty upset about her but, I miss Lil, too.   
\- Would you forgive her? Them? Me? - Miles asked.

Alexa sighed and let her hands fall on her lap.

\- You, yes. The others, I don't know. Too soon for them, maybe.   
\- Why "me, yes", then?   
\- Because you're right here and you're suffering. - Alexa was now staring into Miles' eyes. - I don't know how many wrong things you've done in your life but you're starting to pay for all of them. It's not gonna do me any good, to hold grudges against you and you're the only _proof_ , besides Aiden, that I didn't imagine all of those people. That Alex wasn't just my brain playing tricks on me.

Miles got hit by the weight and the strength of those words. He felt like somebody had stabbed him right in his heart.

\- I understand exactly what you mean. - Miles said at last. - And I'm deeply grateful for your forgiveness.

A comfortable silence took over.

\- Have you thought about staying somewhere else and then moving in with... what's her name, again? Oh, Suki. Sorry. Have you thought about moving in with Suki, some time in the future, instead?   
\- Yes, I thought about staying somewhere else but I cannot do that. You know Lil lived in a hotel for a long time and that would also make me think of her so if that is _also_ gonna make me think of her, I'd rather stay home. That is the same reason I never thought of moving in with Suki. I will never give up that 'ouse, Alexa. I can't give it up. It's _our_ 'ouse.   
\- She's not here, anymore, Miles.   
\- Alex is not 'ere either, why don't you move away, then?  
\- I would if I were alone, but Aiden has a life here. I wouldn't make him change schools and say goodbye to all of his friends just now he's lost his dad, it wouldn't be fair.

Miles stayed silent.

\- I think you should stay here for a couple of days. - Alexa told Miles. - There wasn't glass inside your feet and the cuts aren't that deep, I took care of it the best way I could, but I imagine it still hurts badly.  
\- I don't know, I mean... you told me you wasn't allowing visitors.  
\- Yeah, but you lived here before I did.   
\- I always thought it was very brave the way you left everything behind, back _home,_ to come meet Alex here in the States. He would never shut up about saving enough money so he could go get you but then you showed up at the pub, that afternoon.   
\- And Alex wasn't there so you brought me here.  
\- Yeah. I still remember the look on his face when he saw you. - Miles laughed a bit.   
\- Yeah. - Alexa was smiling, too. - If I hadn't left everything behind, I would never ever had seen Alex, again. But well, - Alexa quickly changed the subject. - I really think you should stay. I couldn't bring myself to give Al's clothes away so you can choose whatever you want to wear.   
\- Are you sure?  
\- Yes.   
\- Alright, I can stay for a couple of days, I guess.  
\- Good. Hungry?  
\- No, not really. - In fact, Miles was feeling a bit nauseous.   
\- Alright. I'll leave you alone, now. If you need anything...  
\- I'll go get it. - Miles said and chuckled a bit.

Alexa smiled at him.

\- Rest a little longer, it's going to do you good. - She said, ruffling Miles' hair before exiting the bedroom.

Miles laid back on the bed, looking at his feet all wrapped up in bandages.

\- She's right, I'm really starting to pay for all the shit I've done. If my wounds aren't _that_ deep but it still hurts to put my feet on the ground, I can only imagine what it was like for you, Lil. If I could just take it all back... I wouldn't have wanted to hide in Alex's offic—

\- _Found it?_  
 _\- Alex's safe, in his office._

\- No, I was just imagining everything.

_Wasn't I?_

———————————————————————

\- _Oh my God, you're scared me to death._  
 _-_ I'm sorry?

Miles had left the bedroom to have dinner with Alexa and Aiden. After they had finished, Miles tucked Aiden in and read him to sleep. Then he decided he should phone Suki and let her know where he was just in case she and Austin needed anything.

\- _I swung by your house, earlier today. I mean, I called you but you didn't pick up so I thought I should just put your watch—_  
\- My watch?  
\- _Yes, I was cleaning Austin's room, yesterday, and I found your watch under his crib. So I thought of stopping by to give it back to you since I was heading downtown, anyway._  
\- Yeah, I took it off while I was playing with Austin, on the floor, after we had lunch the other day but, how did I almost scare you to death, again?   
\- _There are bloody footprints coming out of the house and lots of blood on the staircase. I thought maybe..._  
\- Maybe...?  
\- _I don't know, actually_.   
\- Well, I cut my feet so Alexa helped me and now I'm staying at her place for a couple of days. Sorry if I scared you. I'm just phoning you to let you know you can find me here in case you and Austin need me.  
\- _I'm glad you're fine, I mean, I hope your feet heals up soon. Just... should I know who's Alexa or..._  
\- Oh, sorry.

Miles kept forgetting Suki didn't know any of his friends and then he would just speak about them without explaining who they were.

\- Alexa is Alex's widow. Alex Turner, you met him.   
\- _Yeah, I did._  
\- If you need anything for the next couple of days you can just ask to be connected to the "Turner 405".   
\- _Noted._  
\- How are you?  
\- _We're fine. I took Austin with me to work, today, he loves going there. I actually don't like to take him because he gets pretty tired but sometimes I just have to._  
\- Have you thought about hiring a nanny or something like that? - But what Miles really wanted to say was "you can drop him by mine whenever you need".  
\- _Yeah, I actually do that when I really can't take Austin with me but I don't... I don't know, I don't trust them completely. My brain has gone into "defence mode" since I had Austin, so yeah, it's just paranoia, actually. Nevermind me._  
\- No, I get it. You want what's the best for him but in your head you're it and no one else lives up to you, I know the feeling.   
\- _Yeah, that's exactly it. But well, he's sleeping now. All's good._  
\- Great, then.   
\- _Yeah. Look, I gotta go now but if you need you can call tomorrow, I won't be going to the restaurant for the next couple of days so don't worry about phoning in the morning or late at night because I'll be home all the time._  
\- A'ight. Glad the two of you are fine. Good night, Suki. See ye.  
\- _See you, Miles. Good night._

Suki hung up and Miles put the telephone back on its place.

\- You see-  
\- AH! - Miles yelled and looked back. - You scared me!   
\- Sorry! I didn't mean to walk in on you, I just came to grab my cigarettes and then you were on the phone.  
\- Yeah, I thought of letting Suki know I'm here, in case Austin needs something.  
\- Mhm...

Alexa said, lighting up a cigarette.

\- Want one? - She asked Miles.  
\- Thought you'd never ask. - Miles said as Alexa threw the pack in his direction. - Thank you. - He stretched his arm and leaned a bit, to give the cigarettes back to Alexa.   
\- Look at you, sorting everything out like an adult. If I didn't know you, I wouldn't believe you're the same guy who used to often get in trouble for picking fights around town.

Miles smiled a bit.

\- Yeah, I guess I've changed. I'm really trying to become a better person. Even before all of this 'appened, actually.   
\- I've noticed, actually. Not that you were a bad person before, it's just... - Alexa wanted to explain with words what she was thinking but she just couldn't find the words.  
\- No, don't bother pointing it out. I can barely put my finger on it, as well.   
\- Alright. But you get me?  
\- I do. - Miles nodded.   
\- Well, I'm glad.  
\- What is the point of 'aving a window in your room if you cannot jump out of it, right? And Suki isn't a bad woman, actually. She's fun, smart, very well educated and has lovely manners. What 'appens is that she isn't Lil and I just don't love her.   
\- Yeah, I understand.  
\- At the same time I think everything is in its place. I mean, what 'appened between Suki and I brought Austin into the picture, what if all of this was 'appened but I didn't have a reason to go on? What if I didn't 'ave Austin to keep me going?   
\- Yes, I think if it wasn't for Aiden, I would have just came home, after the funeral, and probably killed myself. - Alexa said, blowing away the smoke of her half smoked cigarette.

If there was one person, besides Alex, she would talk to, openly, this person was Miles. When Alexa had Aiden, she went through a severe postpartum depression.

She would cry and feel overwhelmed most part of the time and she also became suicidal because she thought she wasn't a good mom for being sad when her so wanted baby had just arrived.

That was the reason she didn't wanna have another baby with Alex.

Of course none of the others knew about what was happening to Alexa, at the time. Except for Miles, of course.   
He had walked in on Alex crying in his office.

All there's left to say is that the reason Miles knew how to take care of babies _very well_ is because he had helped Alex and Alexa, mostly Alex, to take care of Aiden on the first six or seven months after he was born.

That was also the reason Miles was the only one who didn't ask Alex when/if he and Alexa intended to have another baby, after Nick and Jamie announced their wives were pregnant at the same time.

\- I thought we had left that Alexa behind. - Miles said, looking at Alexa.  
\- We have. But this is it; she was left behind but she never really went away. Don't worry, tho. I love my son too much to do something that would separate us forever.   
\- Just phone me if you're having any bad thoughts.  
\- Will do, thank you.

Both fell in a comfortable silence.

\- Thank you for putting Aiden to bed, tonight. I'm sure that made him really happy.   
\- Oh, it was nothing. I love Aiden very much. I'm actually glad you're not moving away because I would just miss the two of you very much as well.   
\- You're gonna be an excellent father, Mi. - Alexa smiled sternly at Miles.  
\- Oh, I... - He started to scratch his nape. - I like kids so... I wanted to go see him, again, tomorrow but well, now I just can't.  
\- Any idea about what happened to your feet, yet?  
\- No. The more I try to remember anything, the less I can remember. I'll just wait 'till I get home and then I'll see what fell and broke and then I'll know.   
\- Yes. I hope it heals up soon so you can go see your boy.  
\- Yeah, me too. I was thinking about setting up a room for him at me 'ouse, 'ave him to stay with me as often as possible until Suki and I sort this out, you know.   
\- I think it's an amazing idea. What did she say?  
\- _She_ said...? - Miles furrowed his brows for a second.  
\- Yes, what did Suki say?  
\- Oh, yes, of course. Well, I haven't talked to her about it yet.   
\- You better because you know you can't do anything unless she gives you the green light.  
\- Well, I should be able to, I mean, I'm Austin's father.   
\- Yes, but you're not his only parent and anything you wanna do that's related to him, you have to ask her permission.  
\- I don't mean any harm.  
\- I know, dear, but it's just how things are.   
\- I'll talk to her as soon as possible.   
\- Good. Well, - Alexa put what was left of cigarette on the ashtray. - I'm off to bed.  
\- So early?  
\- I've had kind of a long day. - Alexa said, smiling a bit.  
\- Sorry about that.  
\- It's ok, I just need to sleep a little and then I'll be brand new in the morning.   
\- Good night, dear.  
\- Good night. See you in the morning.

Alexa left and Miles just kept staring at the corner of the hallway she had disappeared into.

Then he looked back at the telephone.

—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-

Three days had passed and now Miles was back at the _Arctic._

 _-_ Alright, Miles. You are gonna search this whole place and you're not gonna find any hidden safes.

Miles dodged the blood stains on the floor on his way to Alex's office.

 _Wait, I've been here..._ Miles though to himself when he saw a broken glass on the floor and a red print on Alex' desk.

He put his hand over the print so he could measure if that was really his hand.

Of course it was.

What happened is that, last time Miles went to the _Arctic,_ he drank and passed out. But what happens is that he wasn't out for long.

That night, a very drunk Miles managed to go upstairs and get into that room. He put the empty glass he was carrying, which he could swear it was full with some alcoholic drink, on Alex's desk and just kept staring at it. After some time, it could have been five minutes or a whole hour, Miles was shedding some tears while anger built up inside of him.  
He punched the desk, the glass, and cut his hand.   
It didn't really hurt.  
Miles went downstairs again.   
He saw the blood and immediately went into "somebody got shot" mode, meaning that he should find a vodka bottle, clean the wound and stitch it.  
Miles grabbed the vodka bottle but instead of cleaning his wound, he drank a little bit from it and went to see Al Capone.

But he didn't remember any of that so he decided to just let it go and focus on his mission.

\- If I were Al, where would I hide a safe?

Miles looked around and thought about all the possible places Alex could have hidden a safe in that room.

\- Ok, now let's look everywhere I _didn't think_ of hiding a safe.

The thing is that Alex and Miles had very similar minds, therefore whenever Alex had considered it would be a safe place to hide a safe, it would probably be somewhere Miles would think of hiding a safe, himself, and then it would not work at all.

After a whole hour of searching the place, Miles was almost convinced there was actually no safe after all.

\- Of course there's no safe. It was just a dream.

Miles was pushing Alex's desk back to its place when he stepped on a certain spot and one of the floorboards made a strange noise.

He kneeled and knocked on it.

\- Sounds... hollow.

Miles removed the floorboard and found a piece of rope. He pulled it and he heard a noise to his left, the bookshelf had a book out of its place now.

He got up and touched the book, trying to take it out of its place. It made another book fall and then that was it.

The safe.

\- It's not possible. - Miles felt his whole body tensing up at the same time shivers went down his spine. - She was really there...

Miles started to examine the safe, thinking of the possible combinations that could open it.

\- Not Alex's birthday, not Alexa's birthday... it's not Aiden's birthday as well because that's the code to the main safe, it would be just too obvious.

_\- The truth is that I am fucking terrible at remembering dates, tha knows?_

_Alex said, putting his glass on the table._

_\- Me too, I forgot me mums birthday, once. Oh, my God did she give me a hard time. - Matt said, everyone laughed._   
_\- Try to set it as a password to something you use frequently. Like, your briefcase or summat like that. All I know is that, if I forget mine and Alexa's anniversary, she will kill me for sure._

\- Of course! The anniversary. But... when was that, again?

Miles started pacing the room.

\- I can't phone Alexa to ask that... can I? No, I can't. Think, Miles. You were there.

After another half hour in that room, Miles finally found what he was looking for in his brain.

\- She said they were married for eight years. That takes us back to 1915. I remember it was the summer of 1915. And the month was 9. So...

Miles started trying his luck.

The safe clicked.

It was open.

\- 09-15-19-15. Son of a bitch.

Inside of the safe, were the several letters Lil had written to Alex, when she was hunting down the men who killed Tyler. A handful of documents that had to do with the pub, a few more papers and a emerald necklace inside of a small box labeled "Alexa 9". Everything was organized chronologically. Miles decided he would not keep the letters, they were not addressed to him, after all, he just gave them a look, looking for the one in which Lil had told Alex that Miles had found her and they were working together. Then he put the letters on Alex's desk.

He then grabbed the last thing Alex had put inside that safe.

\- Two days before he died...

Miles opened the envelope.

危険は京都から来ている。

\- Is this fucking Japanese? What does it say? And why is it written on red ink?

A million questions popped up around Miles' brain as he turned the card from one side to another.

\- Alright, I'll take care of you later. - He put the card back in the envelope and put the envelope in the pocket of his jacket. He grabbed the necklace, as well.

Miles went downstairs and started to spread gasoline all around the place.

He stopped to look around one last time.

Then he set fire to the piece of paper Alexa had gave him when he was in jail and threw it on the floor. He left through the backdoor and made his way home, not looking back not even once.

\- _She was really there_.

It was all he could think of.

For the next couple of days, Miles sat on the couch of his living room and stared at that card, those inscriptions.

\- Alex didn't know Japanese... how was he supposed to know what is written on this thing?

And then he had an idea.

Miles started to write a letter.

_My dear Elisa._

On the next day, Miles left his house to go see his son before going to drop the letter at the post office.

\- So, I was thinking... - Miles was talking to Suki while playing with Austin. - Well, I was thinking about setting up a room for Austin, back at mine. I mean, he could stay with me whenever you need to go to work and a few times a week, it would be awesome to have him stay with me, actually. What do you think?

Suki just kept staring at Miles for a few moments.

\- I... er... well, I don't see why not, actually. I mean... it's just that... I don't know, I don't like when we're separated, you know? I get restless and anxious because he's so small and...  
\- It's gonna be ok, I promise you. Suki, I love my boy, I would never neglect him. And I know how to take care of him.   
\- I know. - Suki said and sighed. - It's just that I never had him away from me for more than a few hours and now you want him to spend a whole day and night at your place? My heart is racing, right now.

She stopped.

\- You can come to spend a day with us if you feel like it's gonna put you at ease. - Miles said and bit his tongue right after.

Did he _really_ invite Suki into his home?   
Into _Lil's_ home!

\- Just on the first day, then. It is not that I don't trust you, you've proved to be great with Austin so far, it's just that my mum's heart is twisting inside of my chest, right now.   
\- It's alright. You'll see that it's perfectly fine.  
\- Alright, alright. When do you plan to take him with you?  
\- I need a couple of days to set everything up so, yeah, in a couple of days from now.  
\- Right. Alright.   
\- A'ight, so I better get going now. - Miles got up from the couch and kissed Austin's head. He loved the smell of his son. - I'm gonna go downtown to buy the things I need for Austin's room and drop something off at the post office, need a little help with a certain letter written in japanese.  
\- Japanese?  
\- Yes. It was on the pile of paper I stumbled upon when I was released from... when I got back home. - Miles lied and cleared his throat.  
\- Well... I know japanese.   
\- What?  
\- Yeah, I... I lived in Tokyo for three years and then in France for two years, when I was studying to become a chef.   
\- I have a friend from Japan living in France, too. Well, he's my friend's husband, actually. - Those words sounded strange to his own brain. - I was gonna send this - Miles said, opening the letter he intended to send to Elisa and pulling out the card. - to my friend so her husband could translate it and send it back to me. But since you do know japanese... could you..?  
\- Yeah, sure.

Miles passed the card to Suki.

\- Mhm...  
\- What does it say?  
\- It doesn't make a lot of sense, actually. It's just a single phrase. It says "The danger comes from Kyoto". - Suki looked back at Miles, with furrowed brows.   
\- Kyoto? - Miles' brain joined all the dots.

_\- I met my husband in Kyoto when I went to sing there. He was there, with a bunch of suited guys. My eyes fell upon him and I knew I had to have him. Kazuya is just amazing. This ring of yours reminds me of him, but his had kind of a lozenge on it. He used to wear it on his pinky, too._

_-_ My God...   
\- Miles, you ok? You're pale. Miles! - Suki grabbed Miles when it seemed he was gonna faint. - Ok, come here, sit down here.

She made Miles sit down on the couch, again.

\- Kazuya. - Miles whispered as the comprehension hit him like a train.


	4. Knees

**1922**

\- Is Alex in yet?

Lil asked, untying her scarf from around her neck.

\- No. - Miles replied, while he turned a page of the "book" he was reading, not looking at Lil at all.

He had his calves resting on the table, feet up in the air, resting his elbows on his belly so the book in his hands would be in an ideal position to be read.

\- Thank God. - Lil seemed to slow down, a bit.   
\- But I can still tell him you got in late. Why are you late, again?  
\- Do me a favor and mind your own business, alright? I ran into a friend. - Lil clicked her tongue. Actually she was late because she was hanging out with Tyler and forgot to keep track of the time.

Miles scoffed.

\- Matt, Nick or Jamie? - Miles asked, still not looking at Lil.  
\- None of them. - Lil replied, rolling her eyes. - I've got more friends besides you guys.  
\- Right.

Lil walked towards the bar and sat on a stool.

\- What do you think Alex wants to talk about? - It sounded like a question but it was really just Lil thinking out loud.   
\- I have no idea.   
\- In almost one year, he never asked for a meeting. I can't help but to wonder.   
\- Yeah, but would you shut up, please? I'm trying to read.  
\- That strange book, again. - Lil remarked.  
\- Yes, the strange book, again. Now would you _just_ stop talking?

Miles was irritated because since he and Lil were so alike, he knew she was lying about the reason she was late. And that she was doing that because she didn't want to let him know she was probably with Tyler. That made Miles jealous and therefore irritated even though he had nothing to do with her. Yet.

\- Idiot. - Lil said.  
\- You two are fighting again? - Nick asked, walking in.  
\- You're late. - Miles said, ignoring the question. And Lil's insult.  
\- I'm not. You two are the early ones. - Nick said.  
\- Alex said 5pm. - Miles said, turning another page.  
\- No, he said 6pm. I'm just early because it looks like it's gonna rain and I didn't want to get caught in the storm.   
\- 6pm? - Miles looked away from the book and furrowed his brows, looking at Nick.  
\- Yes.   
\- He told me it was 5pm, as well. - Lil said, also furrowing her brows and looking at Miles and then at Nick.   
\- I'm pretty sure he said it was 6pm. If Matt and Jamie, or Alex himself, aren't here, it just proves I am right. - Nick said, walking towards the bar, as well, and sitting on a stool next to Lil's.  
\- Why would he tell us to get here at 5, then? - Lil thought out loud, again.   
\- I don't know. - Miles got up, closing the book.

The "book" he was reading was actually a compilation, written by hand, of the "secrets" of all the gangs well known in the world; codes, symbols, members...

And he had closed the book just a few pages away from "The Yakuza chapter".

\- But... I might have an idea. - Miles said, a bit irritated, putting the book back on the internal pocket of his jacket, so he could return it to the library, later that day. _It was boring and had several misspellings, after all._ He could see what Alex was trying to do, setting him up to be alone with Lil, but he didn't want Alex to _be sure_ he had some feelings for her, even though said feelings weren't crystal clear to himself, yet.  
\- So... - Lil said, trying to make Miles talk.   
\- Do _me_ a favourand mind your own business, would you? - Miles echoed Lil's words.  
\- Why are you so riled up, Miles? - Nick asked.  
\- I'm annoyed. - Miles simply said.   
\- Oh, I've got a bullet _just_ for that. - Lil said, smiling sarcastically. She would have flipped Miles off if they were alone.

Miles looked at her from the corner of his eye, getting ready to leave.

\- Where are you going? - Nick asked again.   
\- Resume my reading somewhere else. - Miles replied and left, not looking back.

Lil rolled her eyes and Nick kept trying to understand what was going on.

Despite saying he was going to go somewhere else to read, Miles never opened that book, again. 

———————————————————————-  
 **Now**

Miles was restless.

It had been almost a whole day since he had figured out Kamenashi Kazuya could be involved in the deaths of the people he held dearly.

He was feeling completely disoriented.

And _guilty_.

_What did I miss? What on Earth did I miss? Why didn't I know he was in a gang? Does Elisa know? Is she in danger? What did Jamie do to Kazuya?_

The card was being turned back and forth in Miles' hands.

 **-** No stamps, no labels.... this doesn't come from outside the state. Who could have sent this, then? I'm gonna phone Alex, mayb— fuck. - Miles let himself fall on the couch. - There's no one else.

A sigh.

\- Or is there?

Miles reached for the telephone and asked to be connected to a place he'd only called from the pub.

\- _Hello? -_ A hoarse voice could be heard.  
 _-_ How's the weather? - Miles asked. It was a code.   
\- _What the fuck do you want?_ \- Zach asked.  
\- The weather says it. - _I need to see you._  
\- _Is it cloudy?_ \- Meaning "is it urgent?"  
\- Thunderstorms.   
\- _Nine East._

The call was ended.

Miles put the telephone back on its place and checked his pocket watch.

\- 2 hours.

2 hours until meeting up with Zach, at 9 o'clock in the morning at the East end of the beach.

\- If I can wait here, I can wait at the beach.

Miles grabbed his coat, his sunglasses and the car keys.

But then he decided he should just walk.

When Zach arrived at the beach, Miles had already bit all of his nails.

\- What is it? - Zach asked.   
\- I think I found out who killed the Monkeys.  
\- And?  
\- I need a confirmation.  
\- Does it have to do with the people who got Tyler killed?  
\- No, Lil and I took care of all of them. You know that.   
\- I was just checking. - Zach replied, flicking his cigarette to the side. - How can I help?  
\- I found this card. - Miles handed the card to Zach. - It reads "the danger comes from Kyoto", look at the envelope.  
\- No stamps. - Zach said, examining the card and then the envelope. - But why is it in Japanese, tho?   
\- Exactly. This comes from within the State, this city, maybe, and if that person is 'ere, I gotta find them. They tried to warn Al about _the danger_ but if they didn't write the message in English but in Japanese, risking to get caught, then I bet they don't speak English.  
\- Makes sense.   
\- I need you to try to find if this person is in the State or the city and if so, I need to know who they are.   
\- What's in it for me?   
\- Fifty thousand. - Miles said and sighed heavily, waiting for Zach's response.

Zach just kept looking at Miles.

_He's really desperate._

\- I can think of a person or two who could pull some strings for me. Five thousand will do. - Zach replied and patted Miles on the back. - I'll phone you as soon as I get some news.

Zach said and Miles left, as the protocol followed.

———————————————————————-

The telephone rang.

Suki got up from the couch.

\- Hello?  
\- _Hi, good morning! You guys ready?_  
 _-_ Hi, good morning, Miles. Yes, we're ready.  
\- _Good. I'll be there in 20, then._  
 _-_ Alright, we'll be waiting.  
\- _A'ight._  
 _-_ See you in a few.

Suki ended the call and walked back into her room.

She looked at herself into the mirror, debating if she should tie her hair up or not.

_Whatever, Austin is gonna end up pulling it down, anyway._

She smiled a bit at the thought.

Then she made sure, again, that she hadn't forgotten anything Austin would need for at night at Miles' and went back to wait, this time with her boy, for Miles on the couch. It had been three days since his last visit, when he said he would like to have Austin stay at his house, too.

\- Mom is so nervous about you spending a whole night without her. - Suki said, caressing Austin's cheek. - I hope I can manage to get some sleep without you in the house, tonight... even though I know I won't be able to do it. - She smiled a bittersweet smile while Austin was trying to grab a few strands of her hair.

Two knocks on the door.

Miles slightly slapped his own face in an attempt to look more... awake. He wasn't getting much sleep, everything seemed to conspire so he couldn't just put his head on his pillow and fall asleep.

\- Hi. - He said and smiled when he saw Austin, in Suki's arm. - Ready to go? - Miles asked Suki, who was also looking at her son and smiling a tiny smile.   
\- Yeah. - She replied, passing the boy to Miles, walking back into the house and then leaving with Austin's bag and her own handbag.  
\- I'll hold it for you. - Miles said, indicating he wanted Suki to pass him Austin's bag, as well.   
\- Thank you. - She said, handing him the bag and turning around again to lock the main door of her house.

After a slightly longer drive, because Miles was stalling more than really driving, the three of them arrived at Miles' house.

He helped Suki get out of the car and picked up Austin.

Miles took a deep breath, his hands slightly shaking while he pushed the key into the lock and opened the door of his house.

He told Suki to get in first.

"Make yourself at home" he would've said if that was a few years ago.

But not now. He could never say that right now.

\- Welcome. - He thought it was appropriate to say.  
\- Thank you.

Miles closed the door behind them and put Austin down.

\- Oh, you've got a keyboard! - Suki said, approaching it.

Miles swallowed hard and looked around, as if he was waiting for Lil to walk into the living room and give him an annoyed look, telling him with her eyes that he was in trouble, when a delicate sound echoed through the living room as Suki accidentally pressed down a key.

He still didn't know if he somehow knew about the second safe but the info had gotten lost in his brain or if Lil had _really_ paid him a visit.

\- Sorry. - She said, turning around. - It's just I haven't "seen" a piano in a long time. - She stepped away from the instrument.   
\- It's... ok. Er... may I show you Austin's room?   
\- Yes, please.  
\- A'ight.

Miles gently grabbed his son's tiny hand and guided him, slowly, to his new room.

Austin let go of Miles' hand as soon as he saw the enormous teddy bear that was _waiting_ for him on the floor, by his crib.

Miles laughed.

\- I have to admit you did an amazing job. - Suki said, looking around. She was smiling.   
\- Thank you.

The telephone started to ring.

\- I'll be right back.

Miles practically ran to the telephone. There was just one person he was waiting to hear from and he was praying that was _him_.

\- Hello?  
\- _How's the weather?_

Miles looked around before replying.

\- It's sunny.  
- _I found the person. It's a woman named Kayoko. She is in the city, indeed._

He felt his heart start racing.

\- Where is she? I need to see her.   
\- _I can arrange a meeting but it has to be now._  
\- Now!?   
\- _She's going back to Japan in two days and I'm afraid now I found her, she's gonna try to hide or something._  
\- Alright, alright. Arrange the meeting, then.

_Luckily this meeting can be arranged for later and by then Suki will have left so I can ask Alexa to watch Austin for an hour or so._

_\- I'll phone you back in a few._

Miles turned around to go back to Austin's room but he just couldn't move.

For the first time in his life, Miles really felt he had no control over his emotions whatsoever.

Deep down he was completely terrified about that meeting. If his suspicions turned out to be true, then, at least in his mind, he was the only responsible for the death of his friends and wife.

\- Are you... alright? - Suki asked, walking into the living room, she was chasing Austin around, making sure he wasn't gonna fall or touch something that could hurt him.

Miles looked at her for a moment before snapping out of that trance.

\- What? - He finally said.  
\- You're... - Suki pointed to her own face and slid her finger, simulating a tear falling down.   
\- Oh, I... - Miles wiped his face with the back of his hand. - It's... Sorry. - He shook his head.

How long would he have to pretend he was doing fine and fight his own nerves in order not to let it show he was actually going insane?

\- It's fine. Really. - Suki nodded and smiled just a bit, trying to make Miles feel comfortable.

The telephone rang again.

Miles felt as if his body had just been hit by a lightning.

\- What did she say? - He asked, not really bothering Suki was a few feet away right behind him.   
\- _You're going to meet her at the restaurant near the bank, in three hours. She has some sort of relationship with the owner so they advised you two would meet there._  
 _-_ Right.

_How will I get rid of Suki in three hours when I actually invited her to spend the day here with Austin and I?_

_-_ She and I and who else? - Miles asked.  
\- _Nobody else._  
 _-_ Nobody? Wait, does she speak English, then?   
\- _No... I thought you... spoke Japanese, since you managed to translate the inscription on the card._  
 _-_ Jesus Christ, Zach! How will I— A'ight, never mind, thank you so much, _I'll tune yer guitar tomorrow afternoon_. - A code for "I'll have your money by...".

Miles ended the call and turned around.

\- I need to ask you a favour. - He said, slowly. - And I also got a question for you but I might be only asking that later. Anyway, I just wanted you to know that, right now, besides Austin and besides you and me maintaining this good relationship, this is the other thing that matters the most to me, right now.   
\- You're scaring me.   
\- Nothing to be scared of. But I need you to go meet someone with me. I would go alone but I don't speak japanese so I need your help.   
\- You want me to translate?  
\- Yes.   
\- If this is so important to you...  
\- It is, I've told you.

Suki was about to say something else but Miles interrupted her.

\- But we can't take Austin with us.

Miles said and Suki frowned.  
He wouldn't just put Austin's whole _family_ in danger just like that.

\- What?  
\- This is sort of a _business_ meeting.   
\- But he is such a calm boy, he doesn't throw tantrums, he doesn't make any fus—  
\- We can't take him. - Miles repeated. - I'm sorry.

He had his eyes filled with tears, both because he was afraid she was gonna tell him she wasn't going to go with him and because he could see the confusion on her face. It was the same expression Lil had on her face when Miles told her he would just keep on hunting alone if that was what he had to do to keep her alive.

\- But...  
\- I'm going to phone Alexa and ask if she can watch Aus—  
\- I don't even know her, Miles! I'm not just gonna let Austin under the—  
\- Alexa has a son of her own, I mentioned that before, remember?   
\- Miles, I've told you how I feel being away from Austin and I'm already letting him spend the night here with you! It's not gonna happen.   
\- Suki, please? - Miles got down on his knees. - Please?

The confused expression on Suki's face had been replaced by a pained one.

\- Stop this. - She shook her head, a tear streamed down her face. - Come on, get off the floor.   
\- I wouldn't be asking this if—  
\- Please, get up, Miles.

Miles did as Suki asked and she locked her eyes on his.

\- You are _never_ gonna ask me something like this, again. I refuse to be forced to stay away from _my_ son, even if it is just for one hour or so. I will help you this time but if you pull something like this, _ever again_ , I'm going away with Austin and you'll never lay your eyes on us, again.

Mikes knew Suki wasn't bluffing.  
It was exactly the fact that she was a strong and independent woman that made Miles really pay attention to her, in the first place.

And deep down both of them didn't trust each other completely.

 _I would chase you in Hell, if I had to. He is_ my _son, too. Don't forget that._

\- You have my word. - He said, at last.

Suki nodded and took a deep breath.

\- Phone your friend, then. - She said.  
\- Thank you.

———————————————————————

\- Remember I wanted to ask you something? - Miles asked Suki, while he scanned the room, when both of them got into the restaurant and found out the place was deserted.  
\- Yeah. - She had her arms crossed in front of her chest, scanning the room just as well.  
\- Can you trust me for the next hour? - His eyes fell upon her.   
\- I have no choice.   
\- Thank you.

Miles guided Suki to a table on the back of the restaurant, where a lady was sitting down. Her back turned to the entrance.

They sat at her table.

\- Ms. Kayoko, I suppose. - Miles said, looking at the lady.

She nodded.

\- Well, - He looked at Suki. - can you ask her why did she send this card? - Miles took the card out of his coat pocket and put it on the table, pushing it towards Kayoko. She touched the card.

Suki asked the question.

\- What did she say? - He asked Suki when Kayoko replied.  
\- "Is this what it is about?"  
\- Yes. - Miles said, looking at Kayoko, and _Suki translated._  
\- She is asking who I am. - Suki told Miles, when Kayoko spoke again.  
\- She's my friend and she's clean. She's only here because I needed a translator. - Miles didn't look at anywhere else but the lady.

Kayoko was a young woman, maybe Suki's age or maybe Miles' age, since he and Suki were only three years apart. She had shoulder length black hair and very pale skin. Quirky dark brown eyes.

\- _What do you wanna know?_  
\- I want to know how did you know about what was coming and if Alex knew who you are.  
\- _No, he didn't know, what is a shame. I knew about what was going to happen because Kamenashi Kazuya sent me here to "supervise". I'm his slave and also his sister._  
 _-_ What? - Miles felt his heart start racing.

 _Is this a trap?_ He thought.

\- _And I hate him more than anything in this world._  
\- I don't understand.  
\- _Does she know about everything?_

Kayoko Kazuya was referring to Suki.

\- No.   
\- What is "everything", Miles? - Suki asked Miles.  
\- I'll tell you everything you want to know when we get back to my place.   
\- _Well, I suppose you want to know why my brother wanted your friend kil—_ Miles, what... - Suki took a deep breath.  
\- Suki, please. - Miles begged.  
\- _Why my brother wanted your friend killed and why he chose your wife to do it._

Miles nodded.

\- _Kame had a mentor. The man who taught him everything he knows and slipped him into the Yakuza. Several years ago, maybe 10 or 11 years back, your friend Biscuit—_  
 _-_ That would be Cookie. - Miles corrected.  
\- Cookie. _Cookie killed this man and Kame swore he wouldn't rest while he didn't get Cookie killed. But they all fled England and Kame couldn't find the man, anymore._  
 _-_ But why did Jamie do it? And why Lil was Kazuya's choice? What does he have to do with Al Capone?  
\- _I don't know why your friend did it but both Hiro, the dead mentor, and Kame are very cruel men. My brother only chose your wife because he thought it would be... fun since in a certain way Cookie was her mentor, as well. And about Al Capone, he was just repaying a huge favour, he also didn't have a choice not to do it._  
 _-_ Why are you telling me all of this?   
\- _I've told you._

Kayoko put her hands on the table and pulled up the sleeves of her dress.  
She had marks on her wrists as if she would often get tied up or something of the sorts.

Suki gasped.

\- _I'm only here talking to you, now, because Steven hates Kame as much as I do._

She was talking about the owner of the restaurant.

\- _I'm helping you because I failed to help your friends. I had hopes you all could stop my brother._  
 _-_ Why don't you runaway? You're here now, you could just...  
\- _It's impossible. He can find me anywhere. I've tried to run, more than once, and you wouldn't like to see the marks it caused on my body. I only leave Japan when Kame needs to make sure something very important is really going to get done correctly._  
 _-_ Why am I the only one left?  
\- _You're friends with his wife. He couldn't risk killing you and upset her to a point she would lose their baby. Al Capone was ordered not to touch a hair on your head, you were never in danger._

_You were never in danger._

Miles swallowed hard.

 _-_ Does Elisa know about Kazuya?  
\- _Clueless_. _He left the mafia and really became an actor, that's how he met Elisa, but he still can pull some strings whenever he needs to._  
 _-_ How do I stop him?   
\- _You can't. Not just you._

Miles didn't know what to say, for a moment.

Suki asked something to Kayoko.

\- What is it? - Miles asked her but she was just staring at the table. Then she said something else. - Suki, what is it?   
\- _She just told me the two of you have a son and I realize all of this was a mistake. -_ Suki was looking into Miles' eyes while she translated. - _You can't stop him by yourself and if you try, you'll get yourself killed. And maybe your family, as well. Step back, Miles. -_ Miles looked at Kayoko. - _It is your only option, now._

Miles parted his lips but produced no sound.

\- _If you try to get to him, you're next. And don't think you could fool him. The same way he can find me anywhere, he could find you too._

Both Kayoko and Suki had their gaze locked on Miles, now.

\- Promise me you are not going to fight this guy, Miles. - Suki grabbed the sleeve of Miles' shirt. He turned his head to look at her. - You can't put Austin in danger. Promise me you won't do anything. Promise me, Miles!

Miles looked at Kayoko, again.

\- Are we in danger now? - He asked.  
\- _No. And I don't know what she is saying but listen to her, a mother knows best._

Miles slightly nodded.

\- Thank you. - He whispered and got up from the table, making his way out of the restaurant.

He was confused, overwhelmed by the amount of information he had just received and feeling powerless, _hopeless._

Suki stopped a few feet away from him.

There was nothing he could really do, now. He would really have to choose between leaving everything behind and chasing Kazuya or staying, forgetting about the matter, and being a father.

The thing is; Miles _never_ forgot about anything.

\- I promise. - Miles' voice was slightly shaking. So was his body. He turned around to look at Suki. - I promise.

———————————————————————

Back at Miles' house, Suki was checking on Austin before leaving.

\- What do you want to know? - Miles asked, he was tired.  
\- You clearly lied to me about everything. That woman said your friend Cookie was some sort of mentor to your wife, so there's no way all of you were actually innocent. You're not stupid, Miles, it is obvious you knew about everything.   
\- I didn't lie about _everything._ You asked me if you and Austin were in danger, I said you weren't and yes, you are not.   
\- You know what I mean.   
\- But you're right when you told me I knew. Yes, I did know. I just couldn't let you be added to the list of people who hate Lil and the boys, that's why I lied.  
\- I wouldn't hate on people who didn't do anything to me. Your wife was actually really kind to me, despite everything she never told me one single harsh word.   
\- I had no way of knowing that.   
\- You could have given me the benefit of the doubt.   
\- I'm sorry. I truly am. But now you know everything and I can answer any questions you have.  
\- I don't want to know anything about that. I would like _us_ to move on from that, actually. All that matters is if you are really going to keep your promise.   
\- I am. I give you my word.   
\- I still have to see if that's worth anything.

Miles just kept staring at Suki.

The way she seemed to remain so "calm" all the time was something that bothered Miles, somehow, because he couldn't really tell the intensity of her anger or if she was planning anything.

When Lil was angry, Miles would know. The gleam on her eyes would change, her words would become harsh, she would just stare at him with a "say that again" on the tip of her tongue, ready to shoot it at him if he spoke more than five words in a row, to her, on a bad day. The main difference between Suki and Lil was that Lil was violent.   
It was like she had all that anger silently burning up inside of her, building up, a riot going on in the deep corners of her soul. And then she would use that as a fuel to do more violent things, "move" out of her way _anyone_ who would block her from getting what she wanted.   
She had had a violent husband, found freedom through violent actions, lived her new life in a violent environment.

Violence was all she really knew.

In fact... it was not _Lil_ was _violent_ , per say, but she didn't mind staying around guns, fights, dead people and blood. It didn't bother her. That was the shape she had been bent into, by life.

But Miles also knew Suki needed some time to recover after everything she had just found out.

\- I think it's better I leave, now. Do you want me to come get Austin, tomorrow, or are you taking him home?   
\- I'll take him home.   
\- Alright, then.  
\- Alright.

Miles walked Suki to the door and she looked back one last time before really leaving.

\- Well, it's just you and me, again. - Miles said, reassuming his position next to Austin, who was playing with a plushie on the couch. - How much do you think your mother hates me, now, eh? - Austin started to babble. - Yeah, I don't really care, if I'm being totally honest. And she touched Lil's keyboard! - Miles whispered the last part, clicking his tongue right after. - I _should_ care, if I'm marrying her, but that is going to be later so I can just let it go for now. I don't want you to think it is your fault. - Miles ran his fingers through Austin's thin, dirty-blonde hair and kissed the boy's forehead. - I'm just so thankful you're here.


	5. Two Sides

_She was sitting on an armchair, on the porch._

_Her dress was unbuttoned, exposing her cleavage, the skirt a bit pulled up, showing most part of her thighs._

_It was an extremely hot day, so Lil was drinking lemonade and contemplating the view from her and her husband's home. A few strands of her short hair, tied up in a low ponytail, were glued to her face by droplets of sweat._   
_She had been dusting._

_Lil opened a large smile when she saw Miles' car in the distance._

_\- I swear to God something is wrong with the Sun, today. - Miles said, closing the door of the car and walking up the stairs of the porch, unbuttoning his own shirt. He kissed Lil's forehead and sat on the other armchair, by her side._   
_\- It is unbearable, isn't it? - She asked, filling another glass with lemonade. She handed the glass to Miles._   
_\- Thanks. Yes. Times like these that I miss the Wirral. Summer was never this intense back home. I like the weather 'ere but this is just too much._   
_\- I agree._   
_\- It's a shame I can't take you there._

_Miles looked at Lil for a second and then closed his eyes and sighed, resting the back of his head against the wall._

_\- I can go without you. - Lil said and giggled._   
_\- Oh, yeah?_   
_\- No, not really. - Lil grabbed Miles' right hand and brought it to her lips, kissing his knuckles._   
_\- But I must admit, tho. - Miles looked at Lil, again. He touched her neck. - Summer suits you very much._   
_\- Oh, yeah?_   
_\- Absolutely._   
_\- I'm lucky we got to live in this house, a bit far away from everything and no neighbors for half a mile, otherwise I would not be able to stay half naked on the porch._   
_\- You're not half naked, but yeah, I agree._   
_\- Some people would say I am._   
_\- Because they 'aven't seen you really half naked._

_Lil scoffed._

_\- That view is reserved for your eyes only. - She said, looking down, with a fun expression on her face._   
_\- I'm lucky, am I not?_

_She just looked at Miles, a smirk on her face._

_Miles closed his eyes, again._

_Both were feeling uneasy because of the heat._

_A few minutes passed._

_\- Wha— Miles opened his eyes to see Lil standing in front of him, spilling lemonade all over his chest. She was laughing out loud at Miles' reaction. - Why? - He was laughing, too._   
_\- I thought you were hot. - She had a playful expression._

_Miles slowly reached for his own glass of lemonade, on the small table that was between his and Lil's armchairs._

_\- Oh, no! No! - Lil was already running away from him and laughing._

_Miles chased Lil around the house, trying to throw lemonade at her. His own clothes dripping wet._

_\- AH! - She screamed when Miles finally got a hold of her. He poured lemonade over her head._

_Both started laughing._

_She kissed Miles._

_\- I would 'ave done this before if I knew there were going to be kisses for me, in the end._   
_\- You talk like I didn't kiss you all the time. - Lil said, touching Miles' forehead as if she was gently trying to wipe something off of his face._   
_\- You do, that's true. I just don't think I know all the mannerisms of your lips, yet... that means we have to kiss a lot more._   
_\- Yet. We've got plenty of time for that. - She kissed him again._

\- Miles?   
\- What? - Miles snapped out of his trance.   
\- Did you hear what I said? - Alexa asked.  
\- Yeah, sorry. You're right. - Miles replied but the truth is that he hadn't listened to one single word Alexa had said.  
\- Anyway, want more lemonade?

It was a hot day, just like the one he and Lil had had fun, chasing each other and throwing lemonade back and forth, that made Miles focus his eyes on the glass in front of him and get lost in his thoughts.

\- Yes, please.

Alexa filled his glass again.

\- Well, as I was saying, I'm sorry I asked you to watch Austin so suddenly, yesterday. It's just that it was really important and we couldn't take him with us.   
\- It's alright, really. He's so cute and well behaved, you were right, he really reminds us of Aiden when he was a baby.  
\- Yeah.  
\- But... what was it so important? If I may...  
\- I... - Miles crossed his fingers, on the table. - I went to meet this woman. She is Japanese so I had to take Suki with me, for she lived in Japan for three years or so and I really needed someone to translate it for me. She had some information about...  
\- About?  
\- The boys' deaths. - Miles said, looking Alexa in the eye.  
\- You're dragging _her_ into it, now? Wasn't it _enough_ for you, to lose your wife?  
\- I'm not dragging anyone into anything! I just needed to make sure of something and... I decided I will let it go. - Miles said and swallowed hard. - I promised Suki. For Austin.   
\- It's the right thing to do. Really. I'm relieved, actually.  
\- Yeah... I... I'm gonna get a job and be a father, settle down. I want to be there for my son when he needs me.   
\- I'm glad to hear that.

Alexa put her hand over Miles' and squeezed it.

\- Yeah. And I was thinking of... "proposing" to Suki in a month or so... Austin's first birthday is around the corner and I'd like to have everything sorted out before he turns one, you know? I will talk to her and see what we can do, how we are going to work it out and also about the move.   
\- I see. But do you think you're ready?   
\- I gotta be. If I don't do it soon, I just _won't_ do it. My heart still hurts too much, Lexie. I need to close this before it eats me alive.

Alexa just nodded a bit.

\- I hope time makes it easy for us all.   
\- I hope so, too.

Miles sipped on his drink.

\- I think I should... I mean, Austin's room is really big so I think I should buy another bed and 'ave Suki sleep there, as well. I wouldn't 'ave any problems if she stayed with me in my room but... Lil's things are still there. She didn't take more than one suitcase with her, when she left, so almost all of her stuff is still there. Her brown shoes are still under the bed, her robe is still hanging on the back of the bathroom door, the wardrobe is still... all her clothes are... I don't want to give any of her dresses away, at least not for now. I can't do it right now... and in order to 'ave Suki stay with me in my room I'd have _to make room_ for her, but I can't.   
\- I understand. Well, since you two are not getting married for _love_ , you should talk about it all with her. Don't hide anything. Tell her how you feel and ask her whether she will be comfortable with the situation and everything, and if she says she won't, you ask her what she would like you to do, instead.  
\- Yes, I'll do that. Thank you.  
\- You're welcome.   
\- What was your first impression of her?   
\- Well, we didn't exchange more than ten words, if that much, so I won't tell you what struck me about her at first, 'cause you know... I thought I knew Lil but I didn't know her at all. I didn't even know Alexander as I thought I knew.   
\- That's fair.  
\- Sorry.  
\- It's alright. Well, I think I'll go, now. Need to run some errands before I go back home.  
\- Yeah, I... - Alexa stopped for a second. - I never said anything but I'm sorry about the _Arctic._ You were planning to sell it and everything so... I'm sorry about the fire.  
\- It's alright. Really. Maybe it was better that way.   
\- Yeah.  
\- Yeah. I'll be back to see you and Aiden in a couple of days. You'll be fine?   
\- Yeah, I'm fine. I'll be fine. Thank you. - Alexa said while Miles kissed her forehead.  
\- Phone me if you need anything.   
\- Right back at you.

Miles got home around two o'clock.

He got into his house and closed the door behind him, then he opened the window, as usual, grabbed a knife and then left silently through the back door.

Miles went around the house and got a hold of a man, lurking.

\- What do you want from me that you 'ave been following me for a whole hour now? - Miles asked, pressing the knife against the man's throat.  
\- Whoa! Calm down, mate. It's me!   
\- Rolf? - Miles furrowed his brows, making the man turn around.  
\- Where are your fucking manners? - Rolf asked.

He was Miles' cousin.

\- Why the Hell you were lurking around the 'ouse for? - Miles asked, putting the knife away and giving Rolf a hug. - I thought you were dead!   
\- Not dead but running away, yeah. That's why I needed to be sure you were home alone before knocking at your door. Your mum's at our house, in Germany. I was surprised you're not there as well.  
\- Come, let's talk inside.

They made their way to the front of the house and then back inside.

\- What do you want to drink?   
\- Scotch would be perfect but I kn— Oh, you have it?  
\- Yeah, I brought a few bottles home, a few months ago. Me wife kinda liked it. - Miles said while pouring some scotch in a glass.  
\- Oh, I didn't know you were married. Where is the lady who made you settle down?  
\- Dead. - Miles replied, handing the glass to Rolf.  
\- How did that happen? Was she sick?  
\- No. - Miles sighed, sitting on the sofa opposite to the one Rolf was sitting on. - The police ambushed and killed her. We _worked_ together.  
\- You mean, your _girl_ was a... criminal, too? A woman, you say...  
\- Yes, what's the problem?  
\- I didn't think women could be... yeah, never mind. But what happened?  
\- I had some friends, we ran a pub called _The Arctic,_ an irony since Florida is hot as Hell, sometimes. We were a gang, actually. Also a band, but we used that as a disguise, most of the time. Well, one time I was arrested for beating the shit out of a guy and they put me in jail. I met Lillian, Lil, my wife, there.   
\- She used to work for the police!? That's even more odd!   
\- No, she actually had been arrested as well. Trying to steal her husband's, at the time, car so she could run away because he used to beat her.   
\- What a son of a bitch!   
\- Yeah. Well, then I took her to stay at the pub for a while because she had nowhere to go when her 'ouse burned down to a crisp and then one day she killed a man to save me. Fast-forward to a few months ago, we got married and I couldn't be happier but someone had evil plans regarding us and they tried to force her to kill a friend of ours. Things went wrong and she got killed. My friends got killed, as well. I'm the only one left.   
\- I'm sorry, mate. I truly am.  
\- Yeah... Well, - Miles said, taking off his locket and opening it to show Lil's photograph to Rolf. - this is her.   
\- She was beautiful. - Rolf said, looking at the picture and giving the locket back to Miles. - Funny she's wearing the same jewel a woman on a photograph at my boss' office is wearing.  
\- What? - Miles asked, while putting the locket back on and then inside his shirt, close to his heart.  
\- Yeah, my boss has a picture of himself as a kid, his mother, and a woman and she's wearing that same jewel. You know that that was the first thing I would notice because... well, _a thief_ will be a thief.  
\- Who is your boss?   
\- Ever heard of Al Capone?  
\- You gotta be fucking messing!   
\- What? Why?  
\- That son of a bitch had my friends killed! He killed Alex, Jamie, Matt and Nick! He was the one who threatened Lil to 'ave her kill our friend Jamie! Why the Hell you... How did you end up working for him?   
\- I... I was sent here by my boss in Germany after we had to split up to cover our tracks. I didn't know, Miles. I think I should... try to go somewhere else, then... I...  
\- No, no. Listen, if you agree, I would like you to give me some info on Al Capone from time to time. I know you're very discreet and everything so if you could do that, it'd be marvelous.   
\- But... what about the code?   
\- Fuck the code because I'm not following it either. After everything that happened, police got a hold of me, as well, and they only let me go in exchange of me helping them to catch as many booze smugglers as I can, so I couldn't be less bothered about following a code, right now.  
\- I see. Well, you know you're the one I always looked up to while we were growing up until you had to move away from home and then mum and dad and I moved away back to Germany, as well. Of course I will help you, Miles. You're my blood.  
\- Thank you so much.   
\- It's a'ight. Well, what do you want me to do, exactly?   
\- Does Capone speak of that woman? I mean, the one who's wearing the same jewel as Lil?   
\- No, he doesn't speak about any of his relatives, actually. But I can try to make him talk once I get him to trust me enough. Of course I could ask around but I prefer not to, it could arouse suspicions.   
\- Yes, of course.  
\- He's liking my work, so far. It won't take long until he puts me in a higher position.  
\- How long have you been here?   
\- A month or so. I didn't come to look for you right away because you know how it goes, I like to be sure of everything before I start snooping around.  
\- Yeah, I'm aware. And I'm very glad you didn't do it, actually. Nobody can know about our connection.   
\- Yes.   
\- We have to coordinate our meet ups, though. We can't be seen together.  
\- Yeah, well, I have an idea. I think I won't be able to tell you everything new for at least a couple of months but I think that two months from now you should go to the pier. Well, actually, under it. Fourth pillar right to left, on a Wednesday and then the next day every month.   
\- Yeah, I get it. It's a good idea.  
\- A'ight. Well, what do you plan to do after I get you what you want?   
\- I don't know yet. I'm a bit tied up, actually. You see... I 'ave a son, so... I don't want to do anything so they can chase him to get back at me, you know?  
\- Yeah, it would be wise. I bet he misses his mum very much... I'm sorry.  
\- Actually... his mother is not Lil. I had an _affair_ with a woman named Suki, it was before Lil and I even got together so, no, I didn't cheat on her. I would never. And then Suki went to tell me she was expecting but I had left to Paris and then I started to chase Lil around and help her to take care of some stuff... we ended up together and I just found out about Austin, my son, last month.  
\- I see. Talking about Paris, I was almost sent there to investigate a few weird things that were happening, last year.  
\- Yeah?   
\- Yeah, some murders... press was calling them "The Money Murders" or something of the sorts.

Miles laughed.

\- What?  
\- Guess who was responsible for it?   
\- You? - Rolf asked, cocking his brow.   
\- It was Lil, actually, but I helped her with some targets. She was avenging someone.  
\- Oh my God, did you marry an extraordinary woman.   
\- Yeah. - Miles said, looking down, with a little smile on his face. - I actually miss her very much.   
\- I'm sorry about it, mate.

Miles just nodded.

\- Well... - Miles shook his head a bit. - now I have to do something about Suki... I mean, I want to be a father, I want to be there for my boy so I'm gonna propose to her. She knows I don't love her and she doesn't love me but, yeah... I gotta be a man about it.   
\- I would do the same thing if I were in your shoes but... I admire you're holding on to your morals through times as hard as these. I actually don't know what I would do.   
\- Hard times indeed. But I'm gonna go through this, as well... I just can't be as impulsive as I normally am.   
\- What did aunt Pauline say?   
\- She doesn't know. She told me she was going to go away on the same day I was released from jail so I really didn't 'ave the opportunity to break the news to her. But well, now I think it's better that way. She's safer away from me. If I could _I_ would go away and think of the most reckless way to get revenge and not giving a fuck if I would end up dead but that seems something I would do in another lifetime. I'm just glad my mom is ok and that she is safe. She hurt me when she left but I will never stop loving her, everything she did in her life 'till now, was because of me, to help me. Now it's time I walk alone.  
\- I'm here for you, now. Count on me.  
\- Thank you. - Miles smiled a tiny smile. - Count on me, too.

—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-

Two days went by.

Miles phoned Alexa to check up on her and apologize for he "wasn't going to be able to stop by the house" that day. Alexa told him it was fine and that she and Aiden were fine.

After ending the call, Miles left his house carrying two jewels in his pocket. He just wanted to be sure Alexa was at home.

\- Hey, kid! - He called one of the boys who were playing on the street, not far away from Alexa's house. - Come 'ere.

The boy ran towards Miles.

\- Yes, sir?  
\- What's your name?   
\- Boris.  
\- A'ight, Boris. I have a little task for you, if you want to help me out. Tell me, are you a smart boy?   
\- Yes!   
\- Good. So, do you see that house? - Miles crouched near the boy and pointed at the Turners' house.   
\- The one with the blue door?   
\- Exactly. Take this, don't lose it, it's your payment and after you're done you have to run home and give this money to your mum, d'you hear me?   
\- Yes, sir.  
\- Ok. So I want you to go to knock on that blue door, when a beautiful woman opens it, you're gonna give this to her. - Miles handed a green box to the boy, the emerald necklace Alex had bought to give to Alexa on their 9th wedding anniversary, inside. - Tell her... it was _Alex_ who sent it. Do you understand?   
\- Yes.  
\- Repeat it back to me, then.  
\- Give the box to the beautiful woman and tell her Alex sent it.  
\- Perfect. - Miles approved. - Oh, and if she asks how Alex looks like you'll just say "he had brown eyes". Just that, you understand?   
\- Yes.   
\- Are you sure?  
\- Yes.  
\- A'ight. Go now. Don't run!

Miles went to hide behind a car parked on the street.

He saw when Alexa answered the door and was given the box. The boy ran away and she looked confused for a second until she opened the box and saw the jewel and Alex's little note where it simply read "Alexa 9".

She stepped outside, to the porch, and started looking around with her big green-blue eyes, trying to find _Alex._

That broke Miles' heart and then he wasn't so sure if he should have done that that way. Maybe he should have given her the necklace himself?

Alexa was still looking around when Aiden walked into the porch, as well, and grabbed the hem of Alexa's dress. He was rubbing his eye and had a sleepy face, his pacifier on his mouth. Alexa kneeled next to Aiden and hugged him, then she kissed his face several times and hugged him again, stroking his hair.

Then she grabbed the box again, lifted Aiden up and walked back into the house with him, closing the door behind them.

Miles understood that even though he thought he shouldn't have done it that way, it had probably been the best way to do it. Alexa would need some time alone with Alex's last gift for her and if Miles was there to give her the necklace, maybe she would hold herself back and try to swallow her emotions, she didn't like to _look weak._ Miles knew that very well.

_Now off to the hardest part._

Miles started to make his way to Suki's house, even though he wanted just to turn around and go back home.

Suki opened the door and greeted Miles, inviting him in. She had that mysterious expression that Miles hated, on her face, again.

\- How are you? - Miles asked, carefully.  
\- Fine. Everything is fine.- Suki said.  
\- Are you sure? - Miles asked again.

Suki just nodded, crossing her arms in front of her body, again.

Miles understood that was a pattern.

_She will do that every time she feels threatened._

\- You know I mean you no harm, don't you? - Miles asked.

Suki turned around, looking out the window.

\- I know you _mean_ no harm but I'm not sure you won't bring it upon us. I'm not sure, Miles.

Miles walked towards Suki, stopping right behind her. He touched her arm, making her turn around. She didn't look directly at him.

\- I promised you you and Austin are safe, didn't I? I gave you my word.  
\- But the way you were talking _murder_ with that woman... it was like the two of you were discussing... grocery shopping or something like that.  
\- I had to be very throughout with her, had to ask everything I wanted to know. But now I 'ave my answers, I'm not going to go after anyone, I told you.   
\- What if someone comes looking for us?   
\- I won't let anyone touch a hair on your or Austin's head. Didn't you hear what Kayoko said? I was never in danger, they were ordered not to touch me and since I won't be doing anything, the orders won't change.

Suki looked at Miles.

He could read _doubt_ in her eyes.

\- Trust me. - Miles said, softly.  
\- I promise I will try.

Miles nodded.

\- What do you want to talk about? - Suki asked, walking away from Miles and sitting on the sofa.  
\- Well, - Miles said, looking at her. - I think it's time we talk about _us._  
 _-_ What about _us_?   
\- About what we are going to do, now. I want Austin to 'ave my name and you know there's only one way that could happen. - Miles sat on the other sofa. - Can I be honest with you?  
\- Please.  
\- I don't love you. - He said, looking at Suki. - I admire you, I respect you, I like you but I don't love you. I'm willing to do anything for my son and this is not a sacrifice, actually, but I want you to keep it in mind that I love Lil, I always will and that our, yours and mine, relationship won't be a romantic one.  
\- Let me say it; I don't love you either. I respect you, as well, but that's that. I never hid that from you when we got _together_.  
\- Yes, I know that. And I'm very thankful we're being honest to each other.   
\- Yes.   
\- Having said that...

Miles started to debate internally whether he should get down on his knee or not.

_No. I didn't do that for Lil, I won't do that for her._

_-_ Will you marry me? - He asked and then swallowed hard. Suki didn't notice because she was looking at the ring, sitting on a small box Miles had taken out of his coat pocket. Her brows a bit furrowed, she had seen that ring before.

 _Where did I see this ring before?_ She thought to herself.

\- I would like us to be married before Austin's first birthday.  
\- Yes, I think you're right. Yes. - Suki said, looking at Miles.

That proposal was everything but happy, unexpected or breathtaking. Nothing but a contract.

Miles grabbed the ring and Suki stretched her arm so he could put the ring on her finger.

She looked at the royal blue gem on her finger for a brief moment.

\- So... I know weddings are special and everything so you 'ave _carte blanche_ to plan it as you wish.   
\- I don't want anything big. Just us and the priest and the witnesses.   
\- Are you sure?  
\- Yes.   
\- A'ight, then. Do you want to bring anyone?   
\- I have a friend, she could be one of the witnesses, I think.  
\- Yeah... well, I would like to invite Alexa. I just don't know if she will be in town because she was planning to go on a trip or something like that. - Miles lied about the last part, he was unsure if Alexa would want to attend the wedding and if she didn't, he would never judge her.  
\- Alright.  
\- And I would like you to move in with me, after the wedding. I could buy another bed and you could stay in Austin's room since it is really big and... yeah. I think it would be better for the both of us.  
\- Well, I really like this house. - Suki said, looking around. - But I agree your house is really big so it would be wiser Austin and I move in with you.  
\- I will start taking care of that, then.  
\- Right. I will go to the church to get us a date, then. Is there a specific church you'd like us to get married at or...  
\- No, not really. I'm not religious, actually.  
\- Neither am I so, yeah... but I'll take care of that and then I'll get back at you as soon as possible.   
\- A'ight. - Miles nodded.   
\- Ok, so, Austin is asleep right now but you're welcome to stay and wait for him to wake up, if you want to. Well, since we're on this "be honest to each other" thing, I'd like you to watch him for a couple of hours so I could swing by the restaurant, I was actually gonna phone you and ask you to watch him.  
\- Yes, of course I can do that. Take as long as you need.

Suki left her house and took a cab, she asked the driver to drop her at her friend's house. She had lied to Miles about her destination but she didn't want him to know she was actually nervous about that situation.

She had some questions she would like to ask him but she would never ask.

_What if I fall in love with someone else while we're married? Are we going to be married forever? What if we start hating each other? Worse, what if we start liking each other?_

Suki knocked on the door and waited for Rose to open it.

\- Sorry I didn't tell you I was coming but I couldn't phone you.  
\- No, it's alright. Where's Austin? - Rose asked, gesturing for Suki to come in her house.   
\- Miles is watching him, back at mine, and it's exactly about Miles that I came to talk to you about.  
\- What happened? Oh my God, is this...  
\- An engagement ring, yes.  
\- Whoa.   
\- It didn't settle down in my brain, yet, that I'm getting married, I mean. I never wanted to get married.  
\- Yes, I know that, that's why I'm so... When did he propose?   
\- An hour ago... I told him I needed to swing by the restaurant but I actually needed to come here. I said "yes" but I'm only doing that for Austin. I thought about what Miles' wife told me when she went to talk to me that day and that's another reason I said "yes". And speaking of her, this ring was hers.   
\- Really?   
\- Yes, I remember she was wearing it the day she went to see me.

Suki sighed.

\- I'm about to marry a man I don't love and be chained to him for the rest of my life. I really should have went away...

**1922**

\- I'm gonna go home, now.   
\- Gonna see him again?   
\- I don't know. He showed up at the restaurant, yesterday, I almost asked him to have dinner with me after closing hours. He's pretty... _interesting_. But I don't think he's someone I would date, you know?  
\- Why not?  
\- I get the hots around him but whenever he goes away I don't think about him anymore.  
\- Yeah, I see.   
\- Well, he's clearly interested but I still have to see in what. If he's trying to date me, I'll have to turn him down but if he's looking for something else he might have found it. - Suki said, putting out her cigarette.  
\- It doesn't matter how many years pass, you never cease to amaze me. - Rose said.  
\- Well...  
\- But I think you trust this "birth control" thing too much.   
\- It is safe, Ro. But if that ever happens and I get pregnant, I can take care of my child. You know... I think it would be... nice, because I love kids but I don't want to get married so... and I'm almost thirty as well, so... yeah.  
\- Yeah, but you know you would have to let the other part know, right? Let's say you just had a kid, alright, everything is perfect for you, but the kid's growing up and they start asking about their father. What now?  
\- The father died. - Suki said, shrugging. - It is simple. And if I don't want anyone to know then I could simply go away and tell everyone "I'm a widow" when I get to the next city. Simple. You worry too much.  
\- Maybe.  
\- Alright, so I have to go but I'll see you soon.  
\- Yes, see you at the fair.

Suki made her way to the restaurant, changed her clothes and assumed her position as the Chef. 

Miles didn't show up for the next two days.

\- Chef?   
\- Yeah? - Suki turned around to look at William, one of her waiters.  
\- That man is back and, again, he asked me to tell you he wants something _out_ of the menu.   
\- Oh, really? - Suki asked, cleaning her hands and looking for a piece of paper and the pen she used to check the most ordered dishes, at the end of the night. She wrote something down. - Give this to him. And... - She continued as she poured some coffee into a cup. - this.   
\- Alright... - William said, his brows a bit furrowed.

The waiter made his way back into the dining area and put the coffee on the table, in front of Miles.

\- The Chef asked me to give you this. - He said, passing the piece of paper to Miles. - If you need anything else, I'll be around at all times.  
\- Thank you. - Miles nodded and the waiter left. He unfolded the note.

_I can surprise you but only if you have dinner with me, tonight. To make the wait easier for you, drink some coffee and feel free to order any appetizers_ _ from _ _the menu while you wait. On the house._

A smirk took place on Miles face as he put the note on the pocket of his jacket.

At the end of the night, Miles was the last person at the dining room. Suki had dismissed all of her staff and was making her way to Miles' table, pushing a dining cart.

He got up when he saw her.

\- Good evening, sir. - She said, with a playful smile. - Hope the wait wasn't too long.  
\- It kinda was but I'm sure it's going to be worth it. You never failed to surprise me.   
\- I'm very glad to hear that. Sit down, please.  
\- Don't you want me to help?  
\- No, thank you.  
\- A'ight, then. - Miles said, sitting back down and crossing his hands on his lap.   
\- This is what we're having for dinner, tonight.   
\- Oh, I love mac n' cheese! - Miles said when Suki put a plate in front of him.  
\- And I also made fish n' chips for the main course and lemon pie for dessert.   
\- Sounds heavenly.   
\- And I hope you don't tell on me, 'cause...

She grabbed a bottle of white wine from under the cloth of the dining cart.

\- I won't tell on you if you don't tell on me.  
\- Deal.

Suki and Miles talked a lot during the dinner. She decided he wasn't interested in dating her, what was great.

\- So, what are you doing when you leave here? - She asked.   
\- I don't 'ave any plans, actually. - He said, looking at her.

She just kept staring at him.

\- Would you like to go somewhere? - She asked.  
\- Only if you're going there with me.

So that night, after having left the restaurant, Miles and Suki ended up at her house.

And they went back there four more times in two months until Miles just didn't show up anymore and Suki forgot completely about him.

She was at Rose's house, again, a certain afternoon.

\- I think you should go see a doctor.  
\- No, it's fine. I'm fine. - Suki said, with her eyes closed. - It's already fading away.  
\- Are you sure?   
\- Yeah.   
\- Suki, I didn't want to say anything but... maybe you're pregnant?   
\- No, I'm not. - Suki said, laughing a bit. - I was just a little dizzy, it's kinda hot today so it was probably it.   
\- Yeah, but it wasn't hot last Monday and you felt dizzy, as well.  
\- I'm not pregnant.   
\- Are you sure?

Suki bit her lip for a second.

\- No. I'm not sure. - She said, at last. - But I can't be, I did everything right.   
\- Maybe it... failed?   
\- It can't have. - Suki said, she was nervously rubbing her lips. - I can't be pregnant with _his_ child, Ro.  
\- Then I hope you're not _but_ I think you are. You have been always healthy as a horse and now you've been feeling dizzy all the time. Due to the circumstances, it is _not_ a good sign.   
\- Would you go with me, then? See a doctor, I mean.   
\- Yes, of course. When do you wanna go?  
\- Right now, if you don't mind.

That day Suki went back home with almost the confirmation she needed. She was told to wait a few more weeks and try to keep track of the frequency she would get dizzy and also if she would start to feel nauseous, as well.

She was nervous, yes, but of course she wasn't _surprised._ Getting pregnant was one of the things that could happen to her on that lifestyle she led.

 _Why can't men get pregnant instead of us?_ She would think that every time she felt nauseous.

And then, a few days later Suki started to feel a lot of pain and was rushed to the hospital.

The doctor confirmed, once for all, that she was pregnant and told her that that pain she was feeling was bad news. He explained that almost all pregnant women who felt like that ended up losing their babies or having a difficult pregnancy and labor.

He also advised her not to be alone, not to make any efforts and to be prepared in case she would have a miscarriage or, in the worst scenario, even die during delivery. The doctor was old enough to know that.

Suki asked Rose to stay with her, for a few days, until she felt calm enough to figure out what to do.

\- I'll have to tell him, Ro. What if I really die?   
\- You're not gonna die, darling. Don't worry about it, everything will be fine.   
\- I hope so, but I think I should let him know. If anything happens to me, I want this baby to... to be with its father. At this point, I'm erasing all of my ideas that this could be "simple". It is not simple, I have no idea what I'm going to do now.  
\- Listen, this is up to you, really. And I'm sure everything will be fine but I want you to know that... I'll be here, always. I'll be here for you and your baby, always. You're my best friend, Suki.   
\- Thank you. - Suki smiled at Rose, her eyes filled with tears.

And then, after a few more days, Suki went to look for Miles only to find out he had left to Paris, to look for _his girl._

Of course now Suki thought she should really keep everything to herself and fight.

She got back home, phoned her sous-chef and told the woman she would be the one to run the restaurant for the next months and that she could hire someone to help her if she felt like she needed it, then she phoned Rose and asked her if she knew anyone who could accompany her during the whole pregnancy. Rose said she didn't know anyone but she would try to find someone. And so she did.

A woman named Ivy went to work for Suki, at her house.

And the pregnancy really was a difficult one. Suki felt horribly nauseous, for months and months, she had to make a huge effort to try to keep some food in her stomach so she wouldn't get weak or anemic. Also she was rushed to the hospital another three more times, and every night she would pray to God to protect her child even if that costed her her life.

One day, Ivy told Suki she would need to go downtown to buy some food for the house, she made sure Suki had everything she needed, within her reach, and left. Not too long after, Suki went into labor.

She called Rose and begged her to get the midwife as fast as she could and bring the woman to her house.

But she also felt "fast" wasn't going to be enough.

\- Alright, alright. - She was trying to keep her breathing steady. She sat down on the bed, with a grimace, as she felt a sharp pain. - Just wait a bit, please.

It was no use to ask.

Suki had her baby alone, completely terrified, not knowing if she would survive that at all.

\- Hi. Hi, my love. - She said, hugging the crying boy. She was crying too.

**Present time**

\- You know you couldn't have gone away. Everything you've been through...  
\- Yeah... but everything was fine after and I should have gone away when I could. If Miles had never seen us, on that damned day, everything would be fine, now. But now I just can't tell Miles to go away, he is Austin's father! I loved my father, growing up, he helped me to become the woman I am. I want my son to have that, too.  
\- I see, and I think you're in the right way. I know this is not going to be easy and that it involves a big sacrifice for you but you're doing the right thing. In the future Austin will never be able to point his finger at you and blame you for anything.   
\- Yes, that's exactly why I'll be doing what I'll be doing. And well, Miles is giving me a room for myself... actually I'm gonna share it with Austin but maybe when he's around four we can move to another house with one more bedroom, I guess.   
\- That's kind of him.  
\- Yeah. He's still mourning his wife. He sat me down and made it very clear our relationship won't be a romantic one and that he will always love her. I actually don't care. All I want is for us to be friends and be at peace at all times so Austin can grow up in a healthy environment.   
\- Yes.   
\- I just hope I don't fall in love with nobody else because there will be nothing I can do. - Suki said, getting up and walking towards the window. She crossed her arms again.

 _And I really hope nobody comes for us but I can't tell you what's on my mind about that, Ro._ She thought to herself.


	6. Robe

(...)if you need to come to spend some time with us.

Lots of love

Elisa.

Miles folded Elisa's letter and put it back in the envelope. He had re-written, added a excerpt from the article where the boys were dismissed from any charges, lied that Lil was also innocent and had also been killed by accident, alongside the boys, and sent Elisa the letter he intended to send, after all.

Not just because he had to keep her close so he could keep an eye on Kazuya — despite having told Suki that he wouldn't do anything, Miles would not just give up and he would use the time he would have to lie low to think of something, have everyone really think he would just accept that position he was in and not try to get revenge, ignore the fact Lil had told him she would also kill a bunch of dangerous guys for him, if she had to — but also because he really appreciated Elisa, and above all, he felt like he had to protect her as well.

Now he had just finished reading her reply to his letter.

Miles grabbed a sheet and his pen and start writing.

I am very grateful for the invite to come to stay with you but, having already told you about my son and the complete mess I'm in, right now, I need to stay. I'm about to get married, again, and maybe when you get to read this letter I'll have another ring on my finger. I'm sorry I'm not inviting you this time but I'm actually not happy about this so I don't feel like, even if you were not very pregnant right now, you should make an enormous effort to come down here to celebrate something that should not be celebrated.

Miles wrote a three page letter to Elisa and put it away to be dropped at the post office on the next day. He was gonna be married to Suki in two weeks and he couldn't be feeling more defeated than he was. 

Of course that, as Lil had told him — if it was really her and not just some trick his mind had pulled on him, as he didn't want to accept it was or that would be admitting he was going insane — a time would come where he would have to let her go, where his love for her should fade and both of them would be finally set free but, right now, Miles was pretty sure that was only going to happen on the day he died.

Another cigarette was lit and as the smoke swirled in the air, a desperation grew. Itching fingers and dancing teeth; anxiety. All caused by the open window of his bedroom, through which the curtains were trying to flee that house and abandon Miles on his own, again. He pressed his hands against his face, covering his eyes, the cigarette stuck between his fingers and, for what it seemed to be millionth time, he started to weep, again.

The problem with always trying to keep a straight face but then having something that huge happening in your life is that you lose control of everything. Straight faces turn into crying faces and a perfect posture ends up bringing you down to your knees, begging for favours and comprehension. You will still dread pity but from that day on, pity will always be inscribed on your shadow.

Miles was angry to keep on losing control to his emotions like that.

But then he also understood that he was alone, at his home, and that if he didn't feel he had the right to cry there he probably would have to fight back his tears and have them boil inside of his chest. It wasn't worth it. And he really never had control of anything.

But instead of curling up into a ball to cry, Miles got up and started to walk around his house, smoking one cigarette after another after another after another, watching out for his tears not to put out the smoky thing trapped between his right index and middle finger.

After one hour or so, Miles was feeling calm enough to sit down on the couch and understand the curtains were not really planning to leave him, too.

He glanced over at Lil's keyboard.

\- I really need to get a job, don't I? - He scoffed and took another drag of the cigarette. - I should 'ave known you wouldn't stop driving me insane after we got married.

1922

\- What are you doing up there? And why are you wearing... trousers?

Lil looked down, she had a nail pressed between her lips and a hammer on her right hand, on the highest spot of the wooden ladder she had placed against the stage's wall. She spit the nail on her hand before speaking.

\- Have you heard of a better outfit to climb a ladder?  
\- But why are you up there? - Miles insisted.  
\- Are you blind? I'm fixing up the curtain, thing was all crooked. None of you bothered to fix it up so I'm doing it. - She looked away, paying attention to the spot on the curtain that she was trying to fix, again.  
\- Does Alex know you're alone in here, climbing ladders? Get down from there, come on.  
\- I will get down in a moment, I already t—

The nail fell from Lil's hand.

\- Shit. - She complained. Climbing down the stairs.

Two steps away from the ground, Miles grabbed Lil by her waist and threw her over his shoulder, walking out of the stage.

\- PUT ME DOWN, YOU... GIT!  
\- As you wish. - Miles said, dropping her on the loveseat by the stage that was actually gonna be moved to the room in the back, later. He grabbed the hammer from her hand.

Lil had her brows furrowed and an angry expression on her face.

Miles had walked back into the stage again. He picked the nail from the floor and climbed the ladder himself.

\- Next time you do that I'll hit you in the head with that hammer so it's better a next time doesn't exist.  
\- Blablabla.  
\- I have to finish with the curtain so can you get down and stop being annoying?  
\- I found it interesting, your choice of insult, I mean "git". You're really spending a lot of time 'round us.  
\- What are you doing here at this hour, anyway?  
\- I came to 'ave a drink and be alone, didn't know you were 'ere.

It was true.

\- Then let me finish with the curtain and I'll leave you alone, I was thinking of baking a cake after I was done here, anyway, so I'll be in the kitchen and you won't have to look at my face.  
\- Off you go, then. - Miles said, not looking at Lil.

She grabbed the ladder and started to shake it.

\- ARE YOU CRAZY? - Miles yelled, grabbing the curtain so he wouldn't fall off the ladder.  
\- Get down!  
\- No!  
\- GET THE FUCKING DOWN! You're ruining all of my work so far!  
\- STOP SHAKING THE FUCKING LADDER!  
\- Will you get down? - Lil asked, letting go of the ladder for a second.  
\- No. NO! STOP IT! - Miles yelled when Lil started to shake the ladder again. - WE'RE GONNA BE 'ERE ALL AFTERNOON IF YOU DON'T STOP!  
\- YOU STARTED IT!  
\- I DIDN'T WANT YOU TO FALL FROM UP 'ERE!  
\- I WASN'T GONNA FALL! It's not like I'm not used to climbing ladders and fixing shit up!  
\- Still, I don't feel it's...

Safe

\- alright, 'aving you up here.  
\- Miles, it's not because I fucked up my leg dragging your ass to the hospital that now you have to spare me from doing anything.  
\- I really just didn't want you to fall. - Miles said, looking at Lil.

Both had their normal voice tones, again.

\- I wasn't gonna fall.  
\- Alright. But just tell me what you want me to do, then. I really won't let you get back up 'ere.

Lil rolled her eyes.

\- Git.

Miles laughed.

It was funny to hear that coming from an American.

\- See that end over there? - Lil asked, pointing at the curtain.

After having given out some instructions, Lil felt satisfied with how the fixing had turned out and told Miles he could get down from the ladder.

\- See, it wasn't that hard. - Miles said, standing next to Lil and looking at the spot in the curtain he had just nailed back to the wall.  
\- But next time I'll do it.  
\- I'll tell Alex to make you turn your keys in.  
\- Then I'll get in through the window.  
\- Just like you did back at mine.  
\- Yes.  
\- We make a good team.  
\- I think so. - Lil said, rubbing the left corner of Miles' mouth where the nail had left a tiny grey stain. She had her brows furrowed, concentrated.

Miles was caught off guard and was paralyzed. Lil didn't seem to notice.

The telephone started to ring.

\- I'll get it. - She said, walking away.

Miles was still frozen on his tracks.

\- Oh. Hey, Tyler. Something wrong?

Lil's voice echoed through the room and snapped Miles back into reality.

He went up to Alex's office without Lil seeing him and stayed there until the other boys arrived and it was opening time.

Present time

\- I always hated to see you in danger, let it be a ladder or a gun being pointed at you, it always drove me mad. - Miles said, pressing a key on the keyboard.

He sat down on the bench and waited for the sound to fade away, completely.

And he also waited for her.

He couldn't help it, he would always do something expecting that that would make her touch his shoulder and either give him a scowl or a kiss on the lips.

Miles started to play, bringing back a song he was creating on the very day he was lying in bed, hurt over Lil not being his and fighting his feelings for her, refusing to call it "love".

Looking out my window, looking at the rain.  
Nothing left but sorrow, nothing left but pain.

Why did you go and leave me, sad alone and blue?  
Looking out my window, woman, trying to find you.

Miles stopped and took a deep breath before continuing.

Why did you leave me?  
Why did you grieve me?

Looking out my window, what do I see?  
Nobody's crying half as bad as me.  
I don't think that they feel, so alone and blue.  
Looking out my window woman, trying to find you.

Why did you leave me?  
Why did you grieve me?

I'd like to tell you about a little girl  
That left me so alone and blue  
The trouble is, if I paint the picture too well  
You might fall in love with her too

She was about 5'6, a little bag of tricks  
My mama told me to watch my back, but I wouldn't listen.  
Because for you I'd scratch out my old love, baby.

Looking out my window, down the railroad track.  
Waiting for that little brown eyed girl, she's coming back  
I can hear the whistle blowing, down the line.  
Oh come on back girl, you'll be mine, all mine.

Why did you leave me?  
Why did you grieve me?

Oh, baby come on home.  
I'm so alone.  
I don't care what nobody says, I want you anyway.  
I'm down on my knees, begging you please.

Miles didn't keep track of the time, he just went on playing and playing. Going back to the same part of that song, repeatedly singing the same thing.

I'm on my knees  
I'm down in my knees  
I'm down on my knees

Please.

The night started to fall and Miles realized he had been playing for hours and hours.

The next day wasn't going to be an easy one. It was the day he would swing by Suki's house, borrow one of her rings, so he could be sure it would fit, and go look for the wedding band he would inevitably put on her finger.

He had been postponing that for three days, now.

\- Who would have thought life could be this hard, eh?

Miles put down the lid of the piano, got up from the bench and sat by the telephone.

\- Turner 405. - He spoke into the phone.  
\- Yes? - Alexa's voice was heard, after a few moments.  
\- Hi, it's me. I'm just phoning to check up on you.  
\- Hi, Miles. Everything is fine around here. How are you?  
\- Fine. - Miles lied. - I'm fine.  
\- Are you sure?  
\- Yeah. Well, listen... I was wondering if you wouldn't like to go out for dinner.  
\- It would be marvelous, actually. Any other day I would have told you I can't but I just came back home, went to drop Aiden off at Linda's house, it's her boy's birthday and they're gonna have a slumber party and... I'm talking too much at this point, am I not?  
\- It's a'ight. Really. Pick you up by seven?  
\- Yeah, seven is fine.  
\- A'ight, see you soon.

Miles ended the call and ruffled his own hair, ran his fingers through his beard.

\- Thank God you found someone to keep you company tonight or you would end up dead by the end of the night. - Miles said and got up, walking into his bedroom and then in the bathroom.

He stopped in front of the mirror.

\- Maybe I should shave... - He said, touching his beard, again. - Or maybe not, fuck it. - He clicked his tongue. - But you're in need of a haircut, tho.

Miles took a shower and went back into the bedroom, to change his clothes. He put on a nice suit and left the house.

Miles knocked on Alexa's door and waited.

\- Hey, you look beautiful!  
\- So do you. - She smiled a bit at Miles, as the same time she adjusted the collar of his shirt. - Where are we going? - Alexa asked, closing the door and turning around to lock it.  
\- Have you got any suggestions?  
\- No, I'm afraid I don't. There's this restaurant Alex and I used to go but I don't want to go there. I really... don't...  
\- Are you sure you're alright?

Alexa looked at Miles for a second.

\- No.  
\- Do you wanna talk about it?  
\- Yeah, actually... But I think it's better we talk about it when we're back from the restaurant.  
\- We don't 'ave to go if you don't want to go.  
\- I'm sorry, Miles... I...  
\- It's alright, darling. I really don't mind.  
\- I wanted to go out but right now it just seems I can't.  
\- It's fine. Really.  
\- But I want you to stay, I can fix something for us and we can have dinner here.  
\- I agree under one condition.  
\- That being?  
\- You let me cook for us while you tell me what's on your mind. Deal?  
\- Yeah, I think I could do that.

They went back into Alexa's house.

Miles assumed his position in the kitchen and Alexa sat down at the kitchen island to watch him.

\- Is everything still on the same place? - Miles asked, opening some cabinets.  
\- Yeah, I never changed anything.  
\- A'ight.

Alexa was resting her head on her fist.

\- Care to tell me what's wrong?  
\- Well, it's not that there is something wrong per say... it's just that something happened and I can't get it out of my mind.  
\- Yes?  
\- A boy knocked on my door, a few days ago, and handed me a box... A box Alex sent to me.  
\- Alex? - Miles tried to sound surprised.  
\- Yeah. I don't understand why he... where he... there was an emerald necklace inside of the box. I mean, I don't really care what his logistics were but the fact that he thought of getting me something for our anniversary months before it even happened, you know? It's... of course I knew he loved me, he was always telling me that, but I didn't think he actually remembered dates on his own... I would even tell him "our anniversary is coming up". He would just smile at me and... thank me. - Alexa shed a tear. - Little did I know he had never forgotten about it. I'm only finding about it now and it's so... warm. I'm actually happy that happened the way it did.

Miles squeezed Alexa's hand and showed her a comforting smile. She smiled back at him.

\- Eh... Lexie?  
\- Yeah?  
\- Would you push the hair out of my eyes, please?

Alexa laughed a bit.

\- I would do that myself but the hand that's not holding yours is covered in flour. - He laughed a bit, too, while Alexa pushed the hair out of his eyes.  
\- You need a haircut.  
\- Yeah. I'll try to give myself a trim, tomorrow. I'm actually avoiding to go to any shops unless I really need to, so I'll have to do it myself.  
\- No, I can give you a haircut after we finish eating.  
\- Oh?  
\- If you let me, of course.  
\- If you don't mind.  
\- I don't mind.

Miles and Alexa kept on talking. He served dinner for the both of them and was surprised to see Alexa walk back into the dining room with a bottle of red wine.

\- I can tell Prohibition isn't as effective as the Government thinks it is. - Miles said, laughing a bit.  
\- Thank God Alex brought several bottles of wine, home. He knows... knew, I love it and it's actually being really helpful, these days.  
\- Lil liked scotch. There's a few bottles back home, as well. We shared some good memories over it. There was this time she was drinking champagne on the roof of the Arctic... - Miles smiled a bit at the memory. - She hated champagne. I grabbed a bottle of scotch and took her to the beach, we drank while the sun set. If I could go back in time, I think I would go back to that day. Or maybe I would go back to the day we kissed for the first time... yeah, maybe it was going to be the day we kissed.  
\- That is cute.  
\- I think. If you could go back in time, what day would you choose to go to?  
\- Definitely not the day Alex and I got married. - Alexa said and laughed a bit.  
\- Why not? - Miles furrowed his brows, a bit. He had a playful expression.  
\- I can't and I won't give you details but let's just say the first night of our honeymoon was kind of a disaster. But that's on me, actually. It was my fault. - She smiled a tiny smile and shook her head, dismissing that memory. - But well, - Alexa said and took another sip of her wine. - I'm going to get you one of Al' shirts for you to change and we're gonna cut your hair. Be right back.

Alexa brought one of Alex's sleeveless shirts for Miles to wear. He changed and both him and Alexa went to backyard. Alexa took the wine with her.

\- How do you want it?  
\- Well, I was thinking of just a trim but I think it's better if we cut it all off. Like a crew cut.  
\- A crew cut? Are you sure?  
\- Yeah. It's gonna take longer 'till I need a haircut again.  
\- Alright, then.

Alexa started cutting Miles' hair and they kept talking and even laughing a bit.

\- Turns out this was better than going out. - Miles said, brushing the hair off of his shoulders, neck and chest.  
\- Yeah, I agree one hundred percent. Thank you for making us dinner.  
\- Always a pleasure to cook for the women I hold dear.

Alexa smiled back at Miles.

\- I lied to you when I told you I was fine. - Miles admitted. - Even though I am fine now, I came here completely distressed. I proposed to Suki... we're getting married in two weeks and tomorrow is the day I'm going to buy our wedding bands. I was going crazy over it, earlier today.  
\- And you're only telling me this now?  
\- I didn't want to tell you anything until I made sure you were feeling well enough to listen to me.  
\- Oh, Miles.  
\- It's a'ight, Lexie. Really. But I'm really just telling you that because I want you to be there. I 'ave no one else to be by my side.  
\- Yeah, of course I'll be there. You have been taking care of Aiden and I, you have been there for us, and I couldn't be more grateful.  
\- Thank you, Lexie.  
\- Thank you, Miles.

————————————————————————

Miles was watching Suki walk down the aisle, she was wearing a dress in a suave shade of pink, carrying a small bouquet of baby pink flowers.

She had a tiny smile on her face but she wasn't smiling with her teeth. It didn't mean she was disappointed but both of them had no reason to be radiant. The smile on Miles' face was an exact copy of Suki' smile.

Alexa and Aiden were on the right side, Miles' side, of the church. He couldn't help but to laugh a little when Alexa arrived at the church for she was wearing a black dress and Miles knew the fact of her being a widow, now, wasn't the sole reason she was wearing that dress on his wedding day. But of course the both of them were the only ones to get the joke.

Alex would be laughing his arse off. Miles thought to himself.

Rose, Suki's friend, was wearing a pink dress. She had Austin in her arms

\- You look pretty. - Miles told Suki, offering his arm to her.  
\- Thank you. You too.

They turned their attention back to the priest and 20 minutes later were pronounced "man" and "wife". Miles kissed Suki on her left cheek.

Alexa gave Miles a hug and a kiss on his forehead, he grabbed her hand and kissed her fingers, then he picked Aiden up and tickled him a bit. The boy laughed a delicious laugh. Miles smiled.

\- Is this a party? - Aiden asked Miles.  
\- Sort of. - Miles replied.  
\- Where is the cake?

Miles laughed.

\- Aiden! - Alexa scolded him.  
\- There's no cake this time. Sorry.  
\- Oh. - Aiden sounded disappointed.  
\- But I promise you I'll bring you a cake, when I come back. Deal?

Aiden nodded.

\- Yeah. - Miles said and ruffled Aiden's hair.

He put the boy down.

\- Thank you for coming. - He said and smiled at Alexa. She just shrugged.

They walked towards Rose and Suki, who had Austin in her arms, now.

\- I'll never get over how cute he is. - Alexa told Suki, looking at Austin and smiling.

Suki and Alexa engaged in a conversation about their children and Miles tried to talk about something with Rose. She had this easygoing vibe and didn't shut Miles out, he was grateful for that.

\- Ready to go? - Miles asked Suki, approaching her and Alexa.  
\- Yeah. - She said, looking at Austin for a second and then back at Miles.  
\- He'll be fine, darling. - Rose told Suki. She was going to watch Austin for three days while Miles and Suki were in Orlando for their "honeymoon".  
\- Thank you. - Suki smiled nervously at Rose.

Both Miles and Suki decided it was gonna be good for them to go somewhere, just the two of them, to try to get used to the company of each other before just jumping to live in a house, together.

They didn't bother to get to know each other before the wedding.

Suki and Miles left the church and got into a cab, that was going to take them to the nearest train station, Miles was carrying both his and Suki' suitcases.

\- How did you end up here in Florida? - Miles asked as soon as they were accommodated and the train started to move.  
\- I've always been around the World. Since I was a kid. My dad is a businessman so he used to travel a lot and he would often take my mother and I with him. It only seemed natural I would continue to travel on my own when I felt I could do it. Florida was just another stop I was gonna make before going somewhere else, actually.  
\- I see.  
\- What about you? How did you end up here?  
\- Mom and I came 'ere after my father died. I came on my own, first, and when I got a job and was stable enough I brought mom. Life in England had just become impossible.

Always omitting facts.

\- Your wife tol—  
\- You're my wife.  
\- I'm sorry... but you know what I was trying to say.  
\- Yes. But why don't you call her by her name?  
\- I don't know, actually. Maybe because I only saw her once and under such extraordinary circumstances and then she was... gone. That day never felt real.  
\- I understand. But since you are my wife, now, it wouldn't sound right, you know? Even though we don't love each other, we are married and I vowed to respect you. And I also would like you to be comfortable in this position.  
\- Yes, you're right. Well, what I was gonna say is that Lillian told me about your mother. I was surprised she wasn't at the church, today.  
\- She doesn't know about anything. Not that I'm hiding anything from her, no. It's just that I didn't 'ave the time to tell her anything. Last time we saw each other she told me she was off to Germany. Not only she told me that but she also said a bunch of other stuff that hurt me very much. But I guess it doesn't matter right now, not anymore.  
\- I see. Just hope the two of you work it out, some time.  
\- Yeah, me too. - Miles said, looking out the window for a second. - What about your parents?  
\- My mom died when I was eight and my dad remarried, two years later. Jada, his wife, doesn't like me so it was another reason I fled the house. They also don't know about Austin... my dad is extremely by the book so he wouldn't like to know I had a baby without being married. But maybe now I'll let them know... I'll have to mess up the timeline a bit but yeah...  
\- You mean: lie about the date we got married or lie about Austin's age?  
\- A little bit of both.  
\- I see. Well, do as you wish but let me know about it so we can coordinate in case I ever meet your father.  
\- Alright. You don't seem... bothered about having to lie.  
\- I know how thick parents can be and I don't want you to have any problems with your dad because of a tiny thing, you know?  
\- Yeah, true. Thank you, Miles.  
\- No problem at all. - Miles looked at Suki for a moment. - How do you feel about alcohol? 

Suki furrowed her brows for a second.

\- How do I feel?  
\- Yes.  
\- Well, life was less boring when there was booze around.  
\- I agree. Well... - Miles lowered his voice and looked around. - I would like to take you somewhere, tonight.  
\- Are you gonna get us in trouble?  
\- No, not really. - Miles said, sparking up a cigarette.  
\- Can I ask you something?  
\- Yeah.  
\- Can you not smoke in the house? I mean, I don't have problems with that, I used to smoke, you know that, but it's because of Austin. I mean, I'm not asking you to quit smoking or anything but it'd be nice if you didn't smoke around him, you know?  
\- Yeah, I understand and I agree with that. No smoking in the house.  
\- Thank you.  
\- Anything else you'd like to know?  
\- No, nothing that I can think of, right now.  
\- A'ight. Let's just ask stuff to each other as we go, then. I also don't 'ave any questions for you, right now.  
\- Sounds like a plan.

Suki and Miles continued to talk about random stuff during the rest of the trip and when they arrived in Orlando, they weren't feeling as awkward as they were in the morning.

After getting stuck on the decision if they should get one or two bedrooms at the hotel, — and deciding it should be just one but one that had two beds — as promised, Miles took Suki out.

\- What are we doing at a... pharmacy? - Suki asked, cocking her head to the side, a bit.  
\- You'll see in a moment.

Miles approached the desk.

\- Good evening, sir. Do you happen to 'ave anything to elevate our spirits? - He asked to a man.  
\- Yes, I sure do. Last door to the left.  
\- Thank you very much. - Miles nodded at the man and then told Suki to follow him to the back of the pharmacy.

He opened the door and told Suki to get in the lift, first.

\- What happened back there? - Suki asked.  
\- I gave him the password. - Miles said.

The lift came to a halt and both Suki and Miles got out.

\- A hidden pub. - She said, smiling a bit. - How come did you know about this place?  
\- I'll tell you about it over a bottle of wine. - Miles replied. 

———————————————————————

Two months passed.

Everything was as fine as it could get.

Miles had gotten a job at the train station as a train mechanic. He needed a job to occupy his time, justify his money and he also thought he could put his hands to a better use now that there was no one around to listen to his songs so it was better if he would just give up being a musician.

Suki was back to work at her restaurant and everything was going good for her, as well.

Austin had turned one and was healthy as ever.

Suki and Miles had opposite schedules so while Miles would work from dusk to dawn, Suki worked from dawn to the early hours of the morning so they only spent a few hours together at the house, every day. Both took turns to watch Austin.

One certain afternoon Miles got home earlier. Suki had told him she would hire someone to clean the house because she was extremely allergic to dust and she would always hire someone to clean her house when she lived alone. Miles agreed, even though he was surprised it took Suki two whole months to make that move when she could just have asked him before and spared the endless sneezing sessions she had gone through.

He could see the maid cleaning something she had brought outside, through the living room window.

Miles took his shoes off and went to check on Austin before getting into the shower. He could hear the sound of water running when he walked past the main bathroom of the house.

\- I'm home. - He announced, stopping by the bathroom door to let Suki know he had arrived.  
\- I'll be out in a minute. - She said.

Then Miles went into Austin's room, the boy was sleeping peacefully.

What a good life you lead. Miles thought to himself and smiled a bit at the sight of his son, sleeping.

Miles turned around and went into his bedroom. He locked the door behind him and put his shoes down, he would clean them after the shower.

He got into the bathroom and looked at himself into the mirror.

He was sweaty and all dirty, oil and coal stains all over his arms and face. As usual.

Miles closed the bathroom door and turned around, alarmed, because of what he had seen reflected into the mirror.

Better still, what he didn't see.

\- Where is it? - Miles' heart started to race. - He left the bathroom and went to look under his bed.

Both the shoes and the robe were gone.

Miles started to hyperventilate.

He left his bedroom like a hurricane.

\- Where is it? - He grabbed Suki by the side of her arms, slightly shaking her. She had just came out of the bathroom, drying her hair with a towel.  
\- Where is what, Miles?  
\- The robe and the shoes! Where are they? What have you done to them?  
\- Miles, I don't know what you're talking about.  
\- Oh my God!

Miles let go of Suki and ran outside.

\- Oh my God, no! No! - Miles started to cry as he fished Lil's robe out of the basin the maid was using to wash some clothes. - NO! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?

He was crying out loud, now.

\- What's happening? What's wrong, Miles? - Suki was right behind him, confused.  
\- She washed the robe. She washed Lil's robe. She wa...  
\- I'm sorry, sir. I didn't know I wasn't supposed to wash it. - The woman started to say, looking at Suki, now. - I saw it hanging behind the bathroom door in the bedroom and I thought I... it was yours, mam, and then I...  
\- It's not your fault, Tina. Don't worry. - Suki told her and approached Miles, who was crying his eyes out, hugging the wet robe, soaking his own clothes. - I didn't know you had any of these things, Miles. I'm sorry. I didn't know.

It was true, Suki had never been into Miles' bedroom.

\- Where are her shoes? - Miles asked the maid.  
\- I put them with the other shoes. I'm sorry, sir.

Miles made his way back into the house and into his bedroom and then bathroom.

He rested his back against the door, still hugging the wet robe.

\- It doesn't smell like you anymore. It doesn't. It doesn't. I'm sorry.

Miles took a step and reached for his medicine cabinet. He grabbed the bottle of Veronal and laid four cachets on his hand and then put them in his mouth.

He sat on the floor.

\- I need you to come see me again. Please, come see me again. I'm in danger, come see me again. You're fading away... Please. Just this time.

Miles cried until he fell asleep.

Lil didn't come. 


	7. Piano

**8 years later**

Miles was sitting at a table in one of the speakeasies in town. Calm, relaxed, sipping on his whiskey.

A tall brunette woman in a black dress was singing on the stage and Miles would always look at her from the corner of his eye.

The place was full. Lots of men speaking loudly, laughing, betting their money on horse races.

Miles was pattering on the table, after checking his pocket watch, on a mental countdown.

A kind of alarm was heard and all the people in the pub started to make it to the exit, except for Miles and the tall woman. He finished his drink and got up from the table.

The exits were blocked and all those men had fallen in a trap.

They were all confused.

\- What is happening? - A man asked the others.  
\- I don't know but if the alarm went off it's because there's police sniffing around. We really gotta get out _now._  
\- JOHN, LET US OUT! - A third man yelled, banging on the door.

They could hear people running downstairs, now.

The police knocked the door down and Miles grabbed the hand of the tall woman, leading her to the far end of the pub, he told her to stay behind him. She had been hired by the police and was part of the plan.

Everything seemed to be under control.

Until somebody fired a gun.

\- Get on the floor. Don't get up! - Miles told the lady.

Miles grabbed his gun and went to join the police in the fight against some members of a "new" gang associated to an old gang in town. It was also his job since they had dropped all charges against him.

_Can't believe they actually told me I could shoot to kill._

Being as skilled as he was, Miles didn't have any problems with his aim. Precise shots, quick shots... he moved like a shadow in the walls and when the enemy was finally aware of his presence, it was also too late.

Miles pointed his gun at a man and pulled the trigger.

_Out of bullets._

The man tried to punch Miles but he was quick and managed to escape. They got into a physical fight. The man couldn't get him but he couldn't get the man, either.

They kept on throwing punches and trying to get a hold of each other until Miles finally had time enough to grab a chair and break it on the man's back. His nose was bleeding for he had been punched in it.

 _-_ Sleep well, son of a bitch. - Miles said, kicking the man on the floor. He cursed after looking at the blood stain on his fingers, after having touched his nose.

He decided it was no use to retrieve the gun since there was no bullets left.

Miles went to look for the woman, again, he needed to get her out of that place.

She was at the same spot he had left her.

\- Come on, stay behind me always. - Miles said, grabbing her hand again for he wouldn't be able to really pay attention to her so her hand in his was gonna be the only indicator nobody was trying to take her away from him.

He managed to get them both out of the pub.

\- I'm sorry about that, are you ok?   
\- Yeah... I'm fine. - She seemed a bit dazed for a moment.  
\- Sure?  
\- Yeah. It's not the first time I end up lost amongst the fire, actually.  
\- I know, but still...  
\- You know...?  
\- Five years ago you played a part in another operation I took part as well, like this one. I don't forget faces.   
\- Yes, you're right, I was there.  
\- But why do you accept to do these things, tho?  
\- Well, they pay me very well. They always send me to a certain place like this one to sing for a few days and so I get them the information they want.   
\- I see. Well, if you're fine then I need to go, now.  
\- Yes. Thank you for getting me out of there.   
\- Take care. - Miles nodded at the woman and left.

Miles started to make his way home. Suki was in the living room, listening to the wireless.

\- What have you done this time? - Suki asked when Miles walked in, furrowing her brows.   
\- _Why are you still up?_ \- Miles asked, pressing the bridge of his bleeding nose.   
\- I asked you first. - Suki said, again.  
\- _Fair._ \- Miles said, letting go of his nose. A big drop of blood hit the floor. - I was "working" for the police, again.   
\- Why do they have to keep on putting you in danger?   
\- Oh, they don't. Most of _their_ ideas are my ideas, actually. Dickheads are as incompetent as it gets.   
\- Do you want me to take a look at your nose?   
\- No, it's not necessary. Thankfully it's not broken so it should stop bleeding in a minute.  
\- Alright, then. But well, answering your question, I can't fall asleep so I thought maybe it could do me some good to sit here and listen to the wireless for a bit.  
\- Is everything alright? I mean, you're such a _clock_.  
\- Yeah, everything's alright.  
\- A'ight, then. I'm sorry I wasn't home for Austin's bedtime story, tho.   
\- It's alright, he was so tired from playing with Aiden all day that he fell asleep almost immediately after getting into bed.   
\- How are they?   
\- Oh, they're fine. Alexa and I took the boys to the park, it was fun.   
\- I'm glad you two became friends.  
\- Yeah, you tell me that every once in a while.  
\- Yeah, sorry.

Suki just shook her head. A tiny smile on her lips.

\- Well, I'm gonna take a shower and give Austin a kiss before going to bed.  
\- I'm gonna stay here a tad more.  
\- A'ight. Don't stay up too late, tho. You always get too cranky in the morning. - Miles said, joking.  
\- I won't.

As planned, Miles took a shower and then went to see Austin in his room.

\- I love you, son. - Miles whispered, pushing Austin's hair to the side. He kissed the boy in the forehead and left the room.

Suki wasn't in the living room anymore but Miles could see the smoke of her cigarette, dancing in the air outside the house, from the window.

For a moment he debated whether he should join her for a fag, too, but he decided he was too tired to even smoke.

Miles laid in bed, pulling the blanket over his body. And even though he was extremely tired, the more he tried to fall asleep, the more awake he would be.

\- Trouble sleeping as well? - Suki asked, entering the room and getting into her side of the bed.

After four years living together, Miles and Suki debated whether they should move to another house with one more bedroom but then reached the common ground that that was not going to be necessary. Both liked the house very much and agreed the best thing to do to avoid a move was for Suki to go to sleep in Miles' bedroom.

\- Yeah. I mean, I'm pretty tired but I can't fall asleep, either.   
\- What do you think is wrong with us, tonight?  
\- I don't know... I don't 'ave all the answers, anymore. - Miles said and sighed.   
\- Time is really not doing us good.   
\- Yeah, I guess so.   
\- Well, at least you don't have to go to work tomorrow.   
\- Even if I had to, I wouldn't go cuz I don't like be around trains when I'm really tired. I get distracted too easily.  
\- Yes, you're absolutely right.  
\- What about you?  
\- I was thinking of stopping by the restaurant but maybe I won't have to go, I don't know yet. Francis will call me tomorrow morning to let me know if she needs me there or not.   
\- Yeah, I see. Well, if you don't 'ave anything to do we could take Austin to the beach.   
\- Sounds like a plan.   
\- He loves the beach.  
\- Yes.

Both fell silent.

\- Are you anxious, too? - Miles asked Suki.  
\- No, not anxious, actually. What are you anxious about?   
\- I have no idea. I just feel... anxious.  
\- Maybe it's just... I don't know, adrenaline from the fight, earlier?  
\- Yeah, that might be it... I don't see any other explanation.  
\- I'll make us some tea. - Suki said, getting off the bed. - Camomile.   
\- Yeah, thank you.   
\- Be right back.

Miles was left alone to be devoured by his thoughts.

The thing is that even though eight whole years had passed by, every time Miles would pull a trigger he would be overcome by his memories of his friends and former wife. And it was hard to make that feeling fade away once it spread through the body.

He still hadn't let go of _her_. Of them.

Life was still happening but Miles always felt like half of himself had gotten stuck in the past.

It was a terrible sensation.

—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-

**One month later.**

\- Dad, can we play?  
\- What did I tell you?   
\- To stay upwind. Sorry.

Austin went around Miles, who was smoking on the porch, so he wouldn't have any smoke blown in his direction.

\- Very good. What do you wanna play? - Miles asked.  
\- Can we play with the shadow puppets, again, tonight? Before I go to sleep.  
\- Yes, of course we can.   
\- Yay!

Miles smiled at Austin and ruffled his hair.

\- How was school today?   
\- It was cool. A girl from our class was telling us about a thing called television.  
\- What did you think of it?  
\- I seems pretty fun. But how do they fit people in it?

Miles laughed.

\- No, they don't fit people in it. They 'ave a big camera, but not like the cameras that take pictures of us, it's another type of camera and it records you - Miles pretended he was adjusting the focus of an invisible camera and pointing it at Austin. The boy laughed. - and then this film the camera took of you goes to a special room and from there it is transmitted through the air, just like the wireless, and the film is shown on the television screen. The difference between the wireless and the television is that we can actually see people on the screen instead of just listening to their voices.  
\- Oh, this is very cool!   
\- Indeed. And I promise you I'll get us a television as soon as possible, deal?  
\- Really!?  
\- Did I ever fail to keep a promise?  
\- No.  
\- There you go.  
\- Thank you, dad!

Miles threw the end of his cigarette on the floor and put it out with his shoe.

\- Did you eat, already?  
\- Yes, mom made some pasta for us.   
\- Great.   
\- Why didn't you eat with us?  
\- I'm not hungry, today. - Miles said, looking at the distance.  
\- Is this that day you get sad, again? - Austin asked Miles, who turned his head to look at him.   
\- Yeah. - Miles said, with a tiny sad smile. - I'm sorry.   
\- It's ok, dad. - Austin said and hugged Miles. - Boys get sad, too.   
\- Yes, they do. Thank you, son.

Every year, a certain day seemed to last sixty five hours and weigh a hundred thousand pounds. That was the day Miles had lost everyone he cared so much for. Even though he had burned the little piece of paper Alexa had given him, a long, long time ago, the number of the plot Lil was buried in at the cemetery, still haunted his dreams like the glowing eyes of a feral animal in the dark.

He had never went to pay "a visit" to none of his deceased friends, always refused to do so. Every once in a while, Miles would still think all of that was just a bad dream and that he would wake up one day and cry from joy for finally being released from that nightmare so if he went to the cemetery, all of his hopes and dreams would be smashed into a thousand pieces.

\- I'm gonna go finish my homework so we can play later.   
\- Do you want help?  
\- No, it's alright. Thank you, dad.

Austin ran away, back inside the house, and Miles lit up another cigarette.

Days like that Suki wouldn't even speak to Miles unless he spoke to her, first, so he could have the space he needed to deal with his demons. He was grateful for that.

After having finished another cigarette, Miles also went back inside his house for a cup of coffee.

Austin was sitting at the kitchen island, his books open in front of him, some colorful pencils scattered around. He was very concentrated.

Miles just grabbed a mug and started to make his coffee as silently as possible so he wouldn't disturb his son.

\- Dad?   
\- Yeah?  
\- Why don't I have a brother? It could be a sister, too, actually...

Miles turned around to look at Austin, who was still very focused on coloring some figures.

\- Sorry?  
\- All of my best friends have brothers or sisters and I'm the only one who doesn't.   
\- Well, I don't 'ave any brothers or sisters and neither does your mum. - Miles said.  
\- I wish I had someone to play with all the time.  
\- You've got Aiden. You guys are always playing.  
\- Yeah. - Austin dropped the blue pencil he was using to paint the sky, in his book, and rested his head on his hand. - But he doesn't live here and I can't see him everyday.   
\- Maybe if you had a sibling, you guys would be fighting all the time. And besides, if you had a brother now, when he was your age, you'd be seventeen and wouldn't want to play with him anymore.   
\- Yeah. - Austin said, clicking his tongue.   
\- Any more questions? - Miles asked Austin, with a playful smile on his face.   
\- No, not really. - Austin said, shaking his head.  
\- A'ight, then.

Miles turned around again.

\- Well, actually I do have another question.  
\- Ask away. - Miles said, putting some sugar in his coffee.   
\- Who is Lil?

Miles turned around, his heart racing fast but he didn't know why.

\- Where did you hear about her?  
\- Aunt Alexa was showing mom some pictures and she said something about one of them being taken a long time ago, before "Miles and Lil's wedding" and you're "Miles", dad.  
\- Oh... - Miles said, sitting next to Austin. He took his locket off. - It was really a long time ago. - He opened the locket and put it in Austin's hand. - This is Lil. - He pointed at her picture.   
\- She is beautiful. And grandma is also here! - Austin pointed at Pauline's picture.  
\- Yes. - Miles smiled a tiny smile.  
\- Where is she, now? - Austin asked, looking at Miles.  
\- She died. On the same day your uncle Alex died, in an accident, too.   
\- Oh...  
\- Yes. She and I were married for a short time before she died but I still love and miss her very much. - Miles said, grabbing back the locket once Austin was finished looking at the pictures.   
\- That's why you get sad?   
\- Yeah. - Miles nodded. - Even though I'm very happy now with you and your mum, with our family, I still get upset about Lil's death from time to time.  
\- You'll be okay, dad. - Austin told Miles the very same words he used to tell his son every time he would fall and scrape his hands or knee. Miles smiled a bit.

It felt like he was doing something right about fatherhood.

\- Yeah, I'll be fine. But you know why I'll be fine?   
\- Why?  
\- Because I've got you. - Miles said, tickling Austin. Both started to laugh. - I love you, son. - Miles said when he stopped tickling his boy, hugging him.  
\- I love you too, dad.   
\- Miles? - Suki called when she walked into the kitchen, stopping by the doorframe.  
\- Yeah? - Miles turned around to look at her.   
\- Alexa is here to see you. - Suki moved a bit to reveal Alexa, just behind her.   
\- Lexie, hi! Come 'ere. - Miles said, with a warm smile. Alexa smiled back at him and walked towards him.   
\- Hello, boys. Look at you! - Alexa said, kissing Austin's cheek and looking at his drawing. - Such a painter!

Austin laughed a bit.

\- Did Aiden come? - Austin asked Alexa at the same time he was looking at the corridor with his eyes full of hope.   
\- Yes. He was just parking his bike outside when I got in.   
\- Yay! - Austin yelled, getting up from the stool and running off to meet Aiden outside.  
\- He was asking me why he doesn't 'ave any siblings, earlier. - Miles told Alexa, still looking at the open door Austin had gone through seconds ago.   
\- Oh, really?  
\- Yeah. - Miles said, ruffling his own hair, playfully.   
\- What did you say? - Alexa sat on the same stool Austin was sitting on before.   
\- Oh, I didn't exactly tell him anything. I just said something about Suki and I not 'aving any siblings ourselves and that if he gotten a brother now he'd be too old to play when the baby could.   
\- That was a good answer, actually.   
\- I think so, yeah. Was the best I could do.   
\- You did good. Well, I think you know why I'm here. - Alexa said, in a more serious tone.   
\- Yes. Why do you never give up?   
\- I don't know, I just feel like it's something I should be doing.

Alexa sighed.

Suddenly she was craving a cigarette.

\- I still don't feel like going.   
\- I thought so... still I had to come.   
\- I'm sorry... Can I walk you, tho?   
\- It's really not necessary but I think it's gonna be good for the both of us if you do.   
\- I agree.

Miles and Alexa started to make their way to the church.

Every year Alexa would swing by Miles house, on that day, to ask him if he wouldn't like to go to the church with her.

 _If God really was good and forgiving, He wouldn't have taken her away from me._ Miles would say. 

But despite having heard those words at least eight times, Alexa would never stop asking Miles if he wanted to go.

\- Don't you miss it? I mean, when it was just you and Aiden and I? It was for such a short time but... - Miles asked Alexa.  
\- Things didn't change that much for me as they did to you but yeah, I miss it. Why you ask?   
\- I didn't 'ave a routine, back then. I mean, my life is so predictable now... a few days ago I caught myself staring at a drop threatening to fall from the kitchen tap and somehow the uncertainty of when it was gonna fall, the feeling it could happen any minute, was the most thrilling thing to happen to me in months and months.   
\- What about you getting punched in the nose, a month ago?   
\- That is also kind of part of my routine... and I don't like it. I don't want to sound like I'm complaining about my life because that's really not my intention but I just miss being taken aback, sometimes.   
\- I actually like routine, it helps me not to lose any time getting distracted. I feel really unproductive if I see the clock's arms going 'round themselves but I didn't do anything I had planned to do. I don't like having too much time in my hands.   
\- Yeah, I know the feeling. At the same time I'm kinda torn apart because even though I miss my old life very much, sometimes I look at Austin and I know that everything hadn't 'appened the way it did, our relationship probably wouldn't be the same. I feel like I'm performing some kind of balancing act with my feelings and thoughts.  
\- But is it _lighter,_ at least?   
\- Is it lighter for you, now?  
\- Sort of... I mean, I finally forgave everyone. It took me years and years and at a certain point it felt like it was gonna take forever but then I was able to forgive and now all that's left is a longing... It's like Alex had hugged me just five seconds ago before announcing he was gonna leave to grab something and be back in a minute. Right now I feel like he just left... and my back is turned to the door, waiting for him to come back and hug me again. All that hurting, that heavy weight that almost made a home inside of my chest, it's all gone now.  
\- How? - Miles asked, a tiny spark of envy in his eyes.  
\- I don't know. Time, maybe.   
\- I'm tired of waiting for time to bring me anything other than sorrow.  
\- Maybe it's time you give Suki the chance she deserves.  
\- Huh? - Miles asked, confused.  
\- I don't see why she would have stayed faithful to you all this time if she didn't like you.   
\- Hello, Alexa; we're trapped in this marriage. If I started dating anyone, people would blame Suki. If Suki started dating another man, people would also blame her so there's no way we can make it work if we wanted to see other people and I don't want to see anyone.   
\- Did she tell you she's not seeing anyone?  
\- Did she tell you? - Miles asked back.  
\- Why would she tell me? - Alexa asked, too.  
\- That's exactly my point.  
\- To make you jealous... I don't know.  
\- Why would I be jealous?  
\- I don't know. You... like her.  
\- But I don't like her!   
\- Are you sure? You had trouble identifying your feelings, the _last time._  
\- Yes, Alexa, I am sure. One hundred percent sure.   
\- Calm down, I was just checking.   
\- Why are we talking about this?  
\- Because I see you hurting but you don't even try to move on. A time will come will have to let it go, Miles. If you wanna get anywhere else with your life.

_A time will come you'll have to let me go._

Miles felt a cold, scary, shiver going down his spine. He could almost hear Lil's voice, saying those words again.

\- _This_ isn't the time, yet. I don't think I'll let anything "go" while I don't accept what 'appened and you know I don't accept it. She was hurting, Lexie, and some part of it was my fault too. They put her in an impossible position, they wanted her to _kill a friend_ , they scared her, they threatened her, put the weight of the world on her shoulders. The night before she left she was drunk, laying on the floor of our house when she had never drank to a point she would get drunk. So desperate, so desperate and I didn't see it! And I had hurt her, too.   
\- Miles, you had _no way_ of knowing she had listened to your conversation with Alex. Don't punish yourself for the things you had no control of. And it wasn't like you were hiding anything from her, you had just found out about that yourself.   
\- Why didn't I insist and took her to bed and held her, tried to calm her down? Why did I leave her on the floor, why didn't I really pay attention she was facing something so much bigger than her?   
\- You were troubled, as well. Remember you told me you didn't even remember how you got home after you left the _Arctic_ , that day?   
\- But I should have done something, Alexa. I should have been there for her.  
\- Why can't you forgive yourself, Miles? Have you ever thought about how the very reason you're still hurting so much is because you can't forgive yourself?   
\- I should be dead, too. If she hadn't shackled me to that bed in that hotel I would 'ave gone back to see Alex and I would probably be at the _Arctic,_ when those men arrived. I would be gone.   
\- No, Mi. Think abo—  
\- Myself. I haven't thought about _myself_ in eight years because I'm always putting people first. Mom, Suki...

 _You, even._ Miles thought but of course he didn't voice those words.

 _-_ Why don't you go away for a while? I mean, now your life isn't a huge mess, anymore. To be alone with yourself for a while.  
\- It's too late for that, now. Whenever I'm alone these days I feel like I'm going to... I need to go somewhere _louder_ than my mind.   
\- What can I do to help, then?   
\- I don't know. I don't think you could do anything but thank you for asking. - Miles smiled at Alexa for single second..   
\- Alright.

Both fell silent for several minutes.

The church was a bit far away from Miles' house, it almost seemed like he had bought that specific house on purpose but those facts had nothing to do with each other in reality. Luckily, Alexa didn't mind walking long distances and neither did Miles.

\- How's work? - Alexa asked.  
\- Same old same, actually.   
\- I wish you went back to being a musician.   
\- I know, you told me that at least fifty times. - Miles laughed a bit.  
\- I'm sorry. It's just that it keeps going round and round my mind, sometimes.   
\- It's a'ight. I quit because... I got a stained reputation so no one would want to give me a chance anywhere. And also because I'm on my own, now. It is really hard to keep on making music when you don't 'ave anyone around for you to ask opinions.

_But the truth is that I quit because this is the only way I found to punish myself, somehow._

\- Professional opinions, I mean. - Miles continued.  
\- I understand. I understand but I don't like it. Not that it's gonna change anything but I thought I should let you know.   
\- Thank you for letting me know.   
\- Did Austin ever show any interest in it, by the way? I mean, Aiden loves music but is not quite interested in guitars, as you know it, but I don't know if the same applies to Austin.   
\- Well, just once.

_Miles was trying to take a nap, in the hammock, outside. Fall had just started and it was finally time to try to take a nap on the porch._

_He had fallen asleep for a few minutes._

_In his dreams, he was walking on a long road, in a hurry, but the more he walked the more it seemed he would never get anywhere._

_\- I need to hurry up. - He kept saying._

_And then the night would come and then the next day, and the next night as if somebody was flicking the sky' switch._

_\- You're too late, already._

_Miles heard a voice behind him and then turned a round._

_Lil was standing by a huge tree, her back turned to him._

_Both she and the tree weren't there five seconds ago._

_She was wearing her wedding dress and was barefoot. Her hair was a bit longer than that Miles' had ever seen it._

_\- I'm sorry. - Miles said, walking towards her._   
_\- It's alright, we will have another chance, soon. - She said, looking up at the leaves shaking in the wind. Her back still turned to him. - They'll still be waiting for us, tomorrow._

_Miles was late for their wedding._

_\- Why are you here? - Miles took another step closer to her._   
_\- I miss you. I didn't want to stay there so I came here because I knew you would be still here. You're always here._

_Miles could hear some kind of... music in the distance._

_\- Can I touch you? - He asked. It was an odd question._  
 _\- I'd rather you not to._  
 _\- You're upset at me. - Miles took another step forward._  
\- _No, darling, I'm not. It's just you'll stain your clothes._  
 _\- You don't have to kiss me. - Miles said, thinking Lil was talking about her lipstick._

She would put on some red lipstick just to kiss him all over and leave red lip prints on his body, that never failed to make him laugh and want to kiss her, on the lips, for real.

_\- I'm not wearing any lipstick._

_The music was louder, now._

_\- I don't understand. - Miles touched her shoulder and she turned around._

_Miles gasped and took several steps back when she started to walk in his direction._

_Her torso covered in blood, bullet wounds all over her chest, stomach. Dry blood stains on her nose and mouth. Her eyes fixed on him. A trail of blood being left on the floor._

_\- Why don't you love me anymore, Miles? Who is it? - She asked a few times until Miles was a little less shocked and able to respond._   
_\- Wh—who?_

_She stopped walking and just kept staring at Miles for a moment. He looked down at his feet, soaked in her blood, and then back up._

_Lil wasn't in front of him anymore and everything around him seemed to be frozen in time._

_Miles just kept staring at the spot the trail of blood ended, completely confused and eye widened._

_\- Who is playing_ my _piano? - She whispered in his ear._

_Miles woke up, confused, sweaty and terrified._

_\- Oh my God, it was just a dream. - He sighed, putting his hands over his eyes._

_The thing is that he could still hear the music._

_Miles got up from the hammock in a hurry._

_\- STOP! STOP THIS! WHAT DID I TELL YOU? - He yelled at a five year old Austin, who had been tickling the ivory._   
_\- I just wanted to play. - The boy said._   
_\- WHAT DID I TELL YOU, AUSTIN? - Miles slammed the piano's lid shut. Now he was sweaty, shaking, confused and still terrified._   
_\- I'm sorry._   
_\- GET OUT OF HERE, NOW!_

_Austin ran away and Miles' brain was almost exploding. He still could see_ her _bleeding in front of him. Lots and lots of holes._

_He had never yelled at Austin in his whole life and that made Miles feel extremely awful once he calmed down. He apologized to his son, later that day._

_Maybe it's not necessary to say that Austin never ever touched that piano again._

\- Maybe I'll get him his own keyboard if he tells me he wants one.   
\- I bet he would love it.   
\- Yeah. I think so, too.

—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-

\- Would you tell me that story, again? - Austin asked Miles.

Both Austin and his dad were sitting on the floor, wearing blankets as hoodies, with a candle in front of them.

\- Right now? - Miles asked, attempting to make the shadow of his hand look like a dog, on the wall.  
\- Yeah.   
\- I thought you wanted to play with the shadow puppets.   
\- I do! But can't you tell the story _with_ the shadow puppets?

Miles looked at the wall and then back at Austin.

\- I guess I could try... but I'm gonna need some help, a'ight?   
\- Yes!  
\- A long time ago, bef—  
\- _FUCKING BITCH!_

Miles was interrupted by a loud curse, coming from another part of the house. He immediately put his hands over Austin's ears.

\- LANGUAGE! - He yelled back. - A'ight, stay 'ere, I'm gonna see what's going on. If I don't come back soon you go to bed. - Miles blew the candle off and got up from the floor, turning on the lights of Austin's room before leaving.

He started to look for Suki.

\- What 'appening? - He asked, walking into the living room.   
\- My father died. - She said, crying. - And Jada just wrote me to let me know I've been _disowned._ \- She said, in pure disgust. - I don't give a fuck about being disowned, I want my daddy back. - She fell on the sofa, crying her eyes out.  
\- May I? - Miles asked.

Suki just passed him the letter she had in her hands.

\- ... _buried two days prior to the date of this letter. I'm just writing to let you know you've been disowned by him on his deathbed and..._

Miles went on reading until he finished the letter.

\- Oh my God, darling. This is completely awful. - He sat by Suki's side, on the sofa, and hugged her. She hugged him back, still crying. It seemed she couldn't stop. - I'm sorry.   
\- Why did she do it? I've never done anything to her. I... She buried him, I wasn't there. I didn't say goodbye. I didn't even know he was sick.   
\- She's just downright evil. I'm sorry about all of this, I really am.

The only time Suki took Miles and Austin to visit her father, in Italy, where he had been living for five years, Jada had been extremely rude to her and her family. Of course Miles was upset about that and made sure Jada would _never_ mistreat his son. When they went back home, Miles hated Jada as much as Jada hated Suki.

And he was also enraged by that situation. Not being able to say goodbye to people he loved, himself, Miles understood very well how Suki was feeling and he didn't like that.

\- I'm sorry. - Suki said, her face buried in his shirt.   
\- Nothing to be sorry for. Cry as much as you feel you need to. It's alright, I'm 'ere for you. - Miles told her, stroking her arm.   
\- Why did she do this? - She kept repeating that over and over.

After almost a whole hour crying, Suki seemed to calm down a bit. She adjusted her position on the sofa.

\- What do you want to do, now? - Miles asked her.  
\- Fucking kill her. - She replied, wiping the tears under her eyes.

 _You don't tempt me, dear_. Miles thought to himself.

\- That seems a bit too much. - Was what he said.   
\- Maybe. I don't know what... My dad, Miles... he's _gone_. I've never been in a world without him.   
\- I know how that feels. But hey, you're smart and strong and you've got Austin and I to help you keep going, now. I know it's not the same but it's something.   
\- It is. Thank you. I really... don't know what I should do.   
\- Don't stress over it, right now. But if I may, I think we should pack and go there. We could bring some flowers and have a priest to say a prayer, I don't know. I know _we're_ not religious but your dad was and maybe...   
\- Yes, maybe that's right. It seems like the right thing to do. I'll consider it all tomorrow morning. Now I'm just...  
\- Yeah, don't rush anything. And I'm gonna sleep in Austin's room tonight so y—  
\- Don't leave me alone, tonight. - Suki said, her eyes filled with tears. - Please, just...  
\- I won't. - Knowing Suki liked to be alone, Miles thought about giving her some space but he also understood why she chose not to be alone. He also didn't want to be alone when he got home from jail, all those years ago. But he had no one to keep him company so he would just roam around town all day, everyday.

Miles went to check on Austin, who had followed his instructions and was already fast asleep, and then guided Suki to their bedroom. He let her put her head on his chest and she cried a lot more before finally falling asleep hours and hours later.

She had a painful expression on her face even when she was sleeping.

In his head, Miles was trying to focus on what Suki was gonna need from him instead of on the pain that situation was bringing back. All the crying, all the uncertainty, all the feeling that "moving on" was just not possible, the loneliness joined by the need to be alone but alone with someone. The shock.

He knew Suki was in shock.

Finding out about the death of her father through a letter... it couldn't be worse. And as she had told him, she didn't even know her dad was sick. What was pretty odd since Suki and her father had always been really close.

 _Something is wrong_. - Miles thought to himself. - _I just don't know what, yet._


	8. Notebook

\- We've already talked about this, you're staying.  
\- But I want to go!   
\- Austin, this is not a holiday. Your mum and I are going to solve a few things regarding your grandpa and we'll be back soon.   
\- Please?  
\- No, you'll stay with Alexa and Aiden, you can't miss school.   
\- Bu—  
\- Enough! And don't you dare bothering your mother about this matter because I 'ave the last word 'ere and if I'm saying you won't come, then you're _not_ coming.

Austin pulled an unamused face.

\- Understood?  
\- Whatever.  
\- I'm sorry?  
\- Yes, dad. I understood.

Not too long after, Suki walked into the living room, carrying her suitcase which Miles quickly asked to carry for her.

She sat down on the couch and asked Austin to sit next to her for a moment.

\- We will be back very soon, I promise you. - She kissed the boy's forehead. - You'll be fine?

Austin eyed Miles and bit his lip.

\- Yes... I'll be fine, mom.  
\- Alexa should be 'ere in a mo—

Miles was interrupted by the doorbell.

\- There she is. Can you get that, please, Austin?

Miles knew that if he left Suki and Austin, alone, Austin would perform one of his tricks and would end up convincing his mother to take him with them.

Austin went to get the door and Suki got up, stopping next to Miles. She was wearing sunglasses. 

\- Hi. - Alexa greeted both Miles and Suki.  
\- Hi, Lexie.  
\- Hey. - Suki said, even her voice sounded tired.

Alexa took a few steps forwards and stopped in front of Suki, then gave her a hug.

\- I'm sorry, dear.

Suki just nodded and even though Alexa couldn't see the gesture, she felt it and understood it.

\- Well, - Alexa said, taking a step back. - stay there as long as you need, you _know_ it's always a pleasure, for me, to have Austin stay at my house. And Aiden loves it too.   
\- You're actually made of gold. - Miles told Alexa, grabbing his and Suki's suitcases from the floor. - Well, actually... - He put both suitcases down, again. - may I 'ave a word with you real quick?

**20 hours ago**

\- So you hide 'ere. - Miles approached the tall, brunette woman from behind.  
\- You startled me.  
\- You're too jumpy for a secret agent. - Miles whispered the last part.

The lady turned around.

\- I'm sorry?  
\- Don't play the "confused" card on me, Ms. Belanger. - He sat down in front of her.

The lady sighed.

\- Alright. What gave me away?   
\- You didn't seem particularly scared to be in in the middle of a shooting and also it wasn't the first time you were working for the police, I couldn't just let that slide so I did a little research on you.   
\- It still doesn't explain how you got a hold of me.  
\- I 'ave some eyes in the force so thanks to them it wasn't hard to dig you up, even though I 'ave to admit it was _really hard_ to track you down and I've been trying to find you since that day I got you out of that pub. But don't worry, I mean no harm whatsoever. I came to ask you a favour, actually.  
\- You have 5 minutes of my attention.   
\- I need you to watch some people for me while I'm out of town. My wife and I are going to deal with some stuff regarding her father's death so it shouldn't take much longer than three weeks for us to come back but I need to be sure some people around here are going to stay safe while I'm gone.   
\- What on Earth makes you think I'm the right person for the job?  
\- It's what you used to do back in Berlin, right? And you and I share no connections so no one would ever think of you to be watching over anyone related to me.

A smirk took place on Catherine Belanger's face.

\- It looks like your research was worth it. What's in it for me?   
\- What do you want?   
\- Information.  
\- On who?   
\- I don't know yet. It's a clue I've been following but I'm not sure where it leads, yet I may need you to snoop around for me once I kill a doubt or two.  
\- Deal.   
\- Alright. Who are the people?  
\- Here's the list. Addresses, profiles, routines, possible visitors, it's all there.  
\- Isn't this, she... - Catherine Belanger looked at the list and then at Miles with her brows furrowed.   
\- Alexander Turner's wife, yes.  
\- Yeah, I know how she looks like, then.  
\- Excellent. Watch the kids as closely as possible, please. One of them is my son.  
\- I can read. - She replied, studying the list, again. - What about possible enemies?   
\- None known.  
\- Easy job you gave me, then.  
\- Isn't it?  
\- Yeah. Well, I'll watch over your family and friends, don't worry. But let me tell you that if you don't keep your end of the bargain you will regret it deeply.  
\- I give you my word.  
\- I'll take that as a sign of good faith.

Catherine got up from the chair she was sitting on at the cafe near her house and walked away, disappearing amongst the crowd.

—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—

\- I don't know if... we... should go. - Suki said, stopping in the middle of the train station.  
\- Mhm...  
\- I mean, I... - She took a deep breath and closed her eyes for a moment. - But I know that if I don't go I'll regret it later. - She looked at Miles as if she was waiting for him to tell her what she should do.   
\- Whatever you choose to do, I'll support you. If you want to go back home then there's where we're going and if you want to hop on this train and go to the New York to get in the boat to Italy, that's what we're doing but I can't tell you more than that.  
\- Right. - Suki nodded, looking back at the train, searching inside of herself for an answer. - We're going. - She looked at Miles again. He just nodded.

Both Miles and Suki got into the train and got to their seats. She seemed just so tired and restless, at the same time. She hadn't slept since the time she had fallen asleep on Miles' chest after crying an ocean, two days prior.

Miles flicked his lighter on and that seemed to catch Suki's attention. He set fire to a cigarette and gave it to her.

\- Thanks. - She said, her hands slightly shaking as they put the cigarette on her lips. Her eyes staring at something beyond the train's windows, again.

Another lit cigarette was placed on Miles' lips.

Silence.

\- What's on your mind? - Miles asked after almost an hour on the move.  
\- A million things and yet I can't narrow down a single one to talk about it with you.   
\- I know how it feels.   
\- I'm sorry.   
\- It's a'ight.

She sighed.

\- Right now all I can think of is how much I want to get to the ship and it's sailed and then we're on international waters so I'll be able to drink and knock myself out so I can have a little peace of mind for a few hours. I thought I... _remembered_ , how sad it is, how it feels to lose a parent but it turns out "8 year old me" didn't really teach anything to "37 year old me".   
\- Losing someone you love is never easy, it doesn't matter how many times it happens, every time is going to be as hard as the previous one.   
\- Yeah... At least now there's no parents left to lose.

Miles couldn't bring himself to say anything about that.

\- Why don't you try to sleep a bit? I mean, you've been fighting sleep back for almost a whole day, now.   
\- I'm having nightmares every time I close my eyes. It's almost like a horror play is being projected on the insides of my eyelids.

 _Been there._ Miles thought to himself.

\- It's gonna be fine. - She added. It was like she regretted allowing Miles inside her head and then was trying to shut him out the next second.  
\- I hope that's soon.

Two days later, Suki was finally where she was longing to be.

She sat on her bed in one of the first class cabins of an ocean liner called _Algonquin_.

\- Just a few more hours, now... - She whispered to herself, staring at the ceiling.  
\- We're set to sail in half an hour. - Miles announced, opening the cabin's door so a boy from the staff could help him with the luggage, then he tipped the boy and dismissed him.   
\- Alright.  
\- So I'm gonna put my things on the right side of—  
\- I wanted to ask you something, actually.  
\- Yeah?   
\- Could you... get a cabin for yourself?

Miles couldn't say he saw that coming.

\- I'd like to be alone. - Suki finished.  
\- I could try.  
\- Thank you.  
\- Yeah... it's... I'm going to see if I can arrange that, then.

Suki watched as Miles closed the door behind him when he left.

\- Oh, hi. Excuse me. - Miles approached a member of the staff who was pointing to a couple the direction of their cabin.   
\- Everything alright, sir?  
\- I'd like another cabin in the first class. My wife and I are traveling separately from now on.   
\- I'm sorry, sir, but I'm afraid first class is full.   
\- Oh. Well... what about the other cabins in the second class or even the third class?  
\- _Third_ class? I can't put you on the third class, sir.  
\- I need a place to stay, I can't just roam around the ship and sleep on the deck, right?  
\- No, of course not.  
\- So...?  
\- Well... I believe we have a couple beds left in the second class.

The man seemed to be confused by a passenger from the first class asking about a place to stay in the standard classes, along with other people who could barely afford a ticket to that trip. What he didn't know is that Miles was actually just traveling first class because of Suki, so the two of them, mainly her, wouldn't be disturbed by people and their small talk.

\- Come with me, please. - The man told Miles.

Miles and the man made their way downstairs. After having seen the room he was gonna share with another three guys, Miles told the man he was gonna get his luggage so he could take his place on the lower deck.

\- I'll send someone to get your luggage, sir.   
\- No, no need. I'll get it.

Back on the upper deck, Miles knocked on the door of Suki's cabin before entering the room.

\- All set. - He smiled a bit at her.  
\- I'm sorry, Miles.  
\- It's alright. My cabin is just around the corner - it was a lie - so just ask someone to get me if you need anything.  
\- Or I could just knock on your door if you tell me what's the cabin's num—  
\- I'd rather you send someone from the staff to get me since... yeah, since they think we fought or something like that, I mean, I think they misinterpreted my need for another room but I don't wanna 'ave to explain anything to them so, yeah.

_One thing has nothing to do with the other but this is the best excuse I could come up with so you won't feel guilty about me having to stay in another class so you can mourn in peace._

\- Fine.  
\- Do you have everything you need?   
\- Yes, it's all here. Thanks.  
\- Alright.

Miles grabbed his suitcase and left the room.

At first Suki felt glad to be alone but when she sat by the window of her room to watch the departure and saw all of those people on the port waving goodbye to their friends and relatives on the ship, she felt like she needed to hug someone, too, and then she started to wonder if she really should have told Miles to leave.

Back at his cabin, Miles was now sitting on his bed, the bottom bed of a bunk bed, resting his back against the wall. He and his roommates had just came back from the collective dining room and were getting ready for bedtime.

Miles had found out two of the other men were brothers and the other one was their friend, they were all in their later 20's or so and would often chat in Italian so their talk was nothing more than background noise to Miles, it was like he had left the wireless on while reading a book.

He had a small notebook with a red leather cover in his hands. Staring at the same page for a whole hour.

A single pending question stealing all of his attention.

**Five weeks before the wedding, 1923.**

\- Mhm... get off, Mi. - Lil said when she felt Miles nuzzling into her neck. Her eyes closed. She was tired for she didn't manage to sleep the night before. - Come on.  
\- What's wrong? - Miles asked, trying to see her face but she still had her back turned to him.

He had woken up a few hours ago and was fully dressed, ready to leave, already. He just thought he could spare five minutes to go back to bed and lie down next to Lil, again.

\- Not in the mood. - She said in a hoarse voice.

If Lil could see Miles' face, she'd see he was confused.

\- Just yesterday we were... well, is it something I've done?

She sighed and turned around to face her fiancée.

\- No. - She gave him a peck on the lips. - I'm fine, just too tired.   
\- I can't tell if that's good, then. - Miles pouted a little.  
\- Let's agree it is.   
\- A'ight. - He kissed Lil good morning.   
\- Darling, do you mind if I sleep in, today? I've got a bit of a headache, so...  
\- Of course not. - Miles kissed Lil's forehead. - I'm heading downtown, actually. I—  
\- Did you eat something? Every time you sneak out of the house so you won't wake me up, I find out you didn't have breakfast before you left.   
\- I ate, don't worry.  
\- You promise?  
\- Yes, I promise. - He was caressing her face and gazing deeply into her eyes. A tiny smile on his face.   
\- Alright. Be careful.   
\- I'll make it back home safe and sound.  
\- I love you.   
\- I love you too. - They kissed briefly. - Get some rest and I'll be back before you know it. You're staying here with me, today, aren't you?   
\- I had plans to go back to the hotel but of course I can wait for you to come back.

Lil smiled a bit at Miles as he left as silently as possible.

When she was sure he couldn't hear her anymore, Lil felt her eyes to be filled with tears and then started to weep.

She and all the boys had been running around in practice, the night before, and now her leg had been hurting too much. It was burning and twisting like she had just been shot.

\- Maybe if I get in the shower it'll help a bit this time, too.

Lil got off the bed and tried to take a few steps but she barely took two and fell to the ground. She screamed loudly for the pain had become just so much worse out of a sudden, scandalously sharp, it felt like someone was detaching her leg from her body with a dull knife.

She didn't know how she'd been capable of lying in bed all night, not moving, enduring the first signs of that pain so Miles wouldn't know for he would always blame himself and get upset every time he noticed Lil had been limping or unconsciously resting her hand on her thigh, in pain.

 _It is because you had to drag me to the hospital. Ever since that day your leg hurts from time to time... I'm sorry._ Miles would say.

But he wasn't guilty of anything.

\- FUCKING HELL! - She screamed, angrily, punching the floor. Still crying. - Why is this happening again?

Even though she'd been in pain before, it was the first time the pain had hit her in such a strong fashion. She felt like she was going to be sick.

\- We were just running. I can't accept this... I need to be able to run, our lives depend on it sometimes.

She tried to get back up again.

\- AHHHHHHH! - She felt the air exiting her lungs but for a moment it seemed she wasn't capable of drawing another breath. After a few seconds she started to cough and cry even harder.

She lied back on the floor, and even though it felt like she was going to die, she also knew it was not possible the pain would get so much worse than that.

\- Darling? - Miles crouched next to Lil, and grabbed both her arms. - What's wrong? Why are you crying? Why are you on the floor? Lil, talk to me, please.  
\- What are you still doing here?   
\- Car broke down and I had to come back to get some tools. I heard you scream. What is happening?   
\- I'm alright.   
\- Oh my God, come on! Don't play this card on me now!  
\- I'm f-fine.

But Lil was shivering, trying to hold the pain back, as she did every time Miles would get near her.

\- Come 'ere, I'll take you to the hospital. - He said, trying to get her in his arms.  
\- But the car is broken.  
\- I'll walk us to the road and hail a cab. You don't want to tell me what's wrong but you'll 'ave to say it to a doc.  
\- I'm al— AHHHHHHH!   
\- Wha—  
\- Leave me on the floor, leave me, leave me on the floor, please, put me down!

She was breathing fast.

Miles understood.

\- It's your leg. Love, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. - Miles was looking from her leg to her face to her leg like it was an automatic behaviour.   
\- You didn't do anything. - Lil smiled faintly at Miles. - I'll be fine.  
\- What do I do? How can I help you?   
\- I was trying to get in the shower but— She winced.  
\- It hurts too much...  
\- Yes. I have to sleep... and then you take me to the shower. - She looked at him. - I'm gonna need your pills.  
\- I don't 'ave them anymore. - Miles shook his head.  
\- Hit that spot on my neck, then. - She clenched her teeth when another sharp wave of pain took over.  
\- You know I can't be doing that, if I miss it, it could kill you.  
\- You won't miss it. Just do it, quick. Please. You did it back in France.  
\- I did it because I wasn't thinking.

Miles shook his head and looked down for a moment.

\- I'm sorry. - He inhaled sharply.  
\- I've told you you didn't do anything.   
\- No, not yet.

Miles took a deep breath and grabbed Lil in his arms, ignoring her screams. He swallowed hard and focused on walking into the bathroom and then getting into the shower with her. His hands getting cold.

\- What are you doing? - She yelled at Miles at the same time she was embracing him so she could stay standing.   
\- Helping you the best way I can. - Miles said, kissing her forehead as an "I'm sorry" gesture.

Both were soaking wet.

\- It's hurting too much, Mi. - She whined.  
\- Why were you hiding it from me?   
\- You know why. FUCK! - Another wave of pain, she tightened her grip on his arms. - Mi, please, do something, put me to sleep. I'm begging you.  
\- Relax your body, I've got you. I won't let you fall.   
\- It hurts too much. - She was still crying but Miles couldn't tell her tears from the water.  
\- Once it gets a bit better I'll take you to the hospital, don't worry. It's going to be alright. - He ran his hand on her back.

Lil put her head on Miles' shoulder and cried another thousand silent tears.

Her whole body trembling.

\- Promise me you'll _never_ ever save me ever again. - Miles whispered to her.

Of course she refused to promise him that.

After that, Miles took Lil to the hospital and left the exam room when she asked him to. He doesn't know exactly what the doctor told her but two days later he caught her writing down on the small red leather covered notebook and then he never saw it again until after she died and he sat on the floor to cry and saw the notebook all crooked behind the nightstand by Lil' side of the bed.

 _Maybe she wanted to pack the notebook before she left but it fell and she didn't notice_.

When Miles opened the small book he understood it was just a notepad, not a journal, where she had — amongst other things — been keeping track of when her leg started to hurt and what she'd been doing just before it started to hurt, trying to trace a pattern of the activities she should avoid.

He closed the book and then opened it again, turning on the pages from the very beginning, following Lil's timeline and even laughing a bit when he saw a drawing she had made in which she, or at least the stick figure she had written "me" right above, pointed a gun at another angry stick figure with the name "Miles" written and underlined by its left side.

\- Was this when you found out you loved me?

Miles went on reading. There was a two month interval, he realized that was where Lil had lost Tyler and also where the notes started to get shorter, angrier, more spaced and more urgent. About eight pages ahead, the notes just stopped and Miles thought they were over but after turning another few pages, the notes started to appear again.

_Meet M. in California_

It was just after he had told her to run away to safety.

Several pages ahead, at some point Miles' eyes were glued to one word that had been crossed out.

_baby?_

\- Baby? - Miles whispered, running his fingers on the page. It dated almost three months after he and Lil had gotten together for the first time.

He turned another page and the notes continued as usual.

\- She thought she was pregnant...

_and then she was sure she wasn't._

And then he kept on reading until he reached the very last thing she had written down.

But this time the word _wasn't_ crossed out, meaning she died without really knowing if she was really pregnant.

**Present time**

\- Where are you going in Italy, _amico? -_ One of the men asked Miles.   
\- I... - He closed the notebook and put it under his pillow. - Puglia.   
\- That's close to our home. - Another man said. - I'm Dante, that's my brother Elmo and our friend Alonzo. - He meant to shake Miles' hand.   
\- I'm Miles, nice to meet you all.   
\- What's your story? - Elmo asked, he was the youngest of them all.  
\- My father-in-law died so my wife and I are going to Puglia to... take care of some... stuff.   
\- Oh, I'm sorry. - Dante said.   
\- Thank you. - Miles nodded a bit.  
\- But where is she? Your wife, I mean. - Elmo asked.   
\- She's staying upstairs.   
\- First class? - Alonzo asked, furrowing his brows.  
\- Yeah.  
\- The hell? - Dante cocked his head. - She kicked you out?  
\- She just needs some time alone to mourn. Actually, she thinks I'm in another cabin there, too, but they had no rooms left so I decided to stay here without her knowing so she wouldn't feel bad about it.   
\- _Two_ first class cabins? You're like... rich?

Miles started to scratch his nape.

\- Well... I mean... I...   
\- He is. - Alonzo told Dante.   
\- It's six days 'till Italy so we're not going to keep disturbing you, it's just that we like making new friends, it's just how Italian people are.  
\- It's a'ight, you're not disturbing me. You guys are going back home, I believe.  
\- Yeah, we go back home for two months every five years.   
\- I see.  
\- What about you? Your _conversazione_ is not American. - Alonzo asked.  
\- Sorry, my what?  
\- Your talk, your accent.   
\- Oh, right. Yeah, I'm from The Wirral, near Liverpool but I live in Miami since I was eighteen so, yeah, that'd be 22 years of my life.  
\- You go home every year?   
\- No, I haven't been to England anymore. 'ave no desire to do so.

_A lie._

_-_ And me mum lives in Germany so I really don't 'ave reasons to go back to England.  
\- Yeah, yeah. - Dante said.

Miles noticed the three boys, sitting side by side on the bed opposite to his, were really paying attention to what he was saying, as if he was telling them the most interesting stories in the world. He felt like giggling but didn't do it.

\- Which family does your wife belong to? - Elmo asked.  
\- Waterhouse.  
\- That's not Italian.   
\- Not Italian indeed. She's English, too.   
\- So you're both English but live in America and are going to Italy so you can bury her old man? - Dante tried to follow.  
\- Something like that, yeah.

Alonzo said something to Dante, in Italian.

Miles and the italian boys went on talking, joking and even laughing a bit once they knew the basic about each other.

\- You and those silly books. - Dante told Elmo.  
\- That's my son's favourite book, too. - Miles said, smiling a bit.  
\- Oh, you have a son?  
\- Yeah, he turned nine last month. His name is Austin.   
\- I had a cousin named Austin. - Alonzo said.   
\- That one who died in the war? - Elmo asked Alonzo.  
\- _Sì._  
\- I'm sorry. - Miles told Alonzo.   
\- Can we change the subject? - Dante asked everyone.  
\- Right.  
\- We told you but we didn't ask, what's your job? - Dante asked Miles.

Miles laughed a bit before answering.

\- I'm a train mechanic back home.  
\- _Sta scherzando_. You're joking. - Elmo said, laughing.  
\- No, I'm not.  
\- Why? - Alonzo asked.  
\- "Why" what?  
\- You're rich, why would you be a train mechanic? - Alonzo looked at the others. - I bet he's an artist or something.   
\- Well, I used to be in a band with some friends of mine but some eight years ago I decided I wasn't going to be a musician anymore and started to work at the train section.  
\- Are they famous or something? - Elmo asked.  
\- No, not anymore. They all died in an accident... I'm the only one left because I was... tied up elsewhere.   
\- What a shame they died. - Dante said.   
\- Yeah. But it's in the past, now. It was a long time ago.

Upon those words Miles felt a huge shock to realize he was really "ok" with what had happened for the first time ever. It's not like he was saying "I don't care", it's just that for the first time he didn't feel like they had died because of something he didn't do, because he wasn't there to fight Al Capone's gang.

\- Yeah, it's no use to keep holding on to heavy things, right? - Alonzo said.

_I guess so._

The next morning, after breakfast Miles went to see Suki. He knocked on the door of her cabin but haven't heard from her.

_Maybe she's still sleeping._

Miles roamed around the ship all day, sometimes he'd bump into his roommates but they didn't really stick together and would soon go separate ways.

The night fell and it was time for dinner.

Again, after the meal Miles went to check on Suki again.

And once more no answer.

When Miles walked back into his room, his mates were laughing and pointing at each other, yelling something in italian over a card game.

\- Aren't we cheerful on this lovely night? - Miles said, smiling a bit.  
\- Wanna join us? - Dante asked Miles.  
\- Yeah, sure.

After a few rounds, Miles decided to take a break since he had won five times in a row.

He got up and stretched his arms and legs.

\- I'm gonna go for a smoke. Keep on playing, guys.

Miles left the room and decided to go to the upper deck, to have a smoke there.

\- No, we can't open any doors unless there's fire. I'm truly sorry. - One member of the staff was talking to a lady who had apparently lost the keys to her cabin. - You'll have to fill in a form, mam, so they can give you a new key.

He walked past those people and only then he realized how cold it was, up there in the open.

\- Fucking Hell. - He complained, putting his hands inside of his pockets. to look for his cigarettes and lighter. But then Miles looked up at the stars and got so caught up in his thoughts that he gave up the desire of sparking up a cigarette.

The wind was messing his hair and his cheeks were turning red but it wasn't until he started to sneeze that he thought of going back inside.

\- We just put the cards away, mate. Sorry. - Alonzo said when Miles walked back into the cabin.   
\- It's a'ight. - Miles said and sneezed.  
\- Too cold outside? - Dante asked.   
\- A bit, yeah. I got caught up in my thoughts and lost track of the time. - He sneezed again.   
\- Blanket up and you'll be fine. - Alonzo said.  
\- Yeah, I'll do that.

When all the lights had been turned off and the room had been invaded by silence, Miles was tossing and turning on his bed.

First of all because he wasn't used to sleep in a bed so small. Second of all because he wasn't used to sleep alone and the last reason is that his mind was keeping him awake.

_Where did the weight go? Where did the enormous guilt go? Is it coming back when I'm not expecting it to? WHY THE FUCK I AM BOTHERED NOT TO BE BOTHERED?_

And then the Sun rose and a new day began.

\- See you later, fellas. - Miles said goodbye to his roommates and went to the upper deck. It was a sunny day and it wasn't as cold as the night before.

Miles wanted a place where he could be alone but there were people anywhere he'd go so at some point he thought that if maybe he concentrated enough in something else he could just _forget_ he was surrounded.

\- _Really?_  
 _\- Yeah._

_Miles kept on roaming the boat while a curious Austin was sitting down in front of him._

_\- The giant was just so sad because he had lost all of his friends that he sat down and cried and cried and when he was done, he noticed he was surrounded by water. His salty tears had originated the oceans and, since they were magic tears, all the animals who live in it._   
_\- Where is he, now?_   
_\- Who?_   
_\- The giant._   
_\- Oh, he's lost deep, deep, down in the water. He died, too._   
_\- Poor guy. - Austin said, looking at his own reflection on the water._

Miles smiled a bit at the memory.

After smoking a cigarette, Miles decided he was going to try to see Suki, again.

He went downstairs and knocked on the door.

No answer.

_That's just rude._

He knocked again.

\- It's me dear.

Still no answer.

\- Suki?

A maid walked past him, carrying some towels.

\- Excuse me, do you know if the lady in the cabin 48 is there or... we're traveling together, she and I, but I 'aven't seen her in a while.   
\- I don't think she's left the room, today, sir. Last time she asked for anything was late at night, yesterday.   
\- Nothing today?  
\- No, not really. I didn't serve breakfast in that room.   
\- Mhm... Just one more question if I may.  
\- Yes?  
\- What did she order, last night?  
\- I believe it was just wine. Two or three bottles if I'm not mistaken.  
\- Oh, right. Thank you.

Miles walked away from the lady and went to knock on the door, again.

\- Suki, you in there? Open the door, please.

 _That's just wrong._ Miles thought after, once more, no answer.

Miles started to look for something in the corridor.

He broke the glass and pressed the fire alarm button.

People started to leave their rooms, going upstairs to the deck.

Two guys from the staff started to open the doors of the cabins that were still locked. The door to Suki's room was unlocked and Miles got in, closing the door behind him.

\- That's just great. - He rolled his eyes when he spotted Suki's blonde hair entwined in the sheets.

Miles walked towards Suki, who was laying on the bed, a big wine stain on the carpet by her side.

Then he noticed she wasn't just sleeping, she was actually unconscious.

\- Hey, hey. Suki! Come on! - Miles was, as gently as the occasion allowed, slapping her face. She was pale. - What do I do? - Miles started to look around the room, looking for anything he could use to help Suki, somehow, while checking her pulse at the same time.

_Time was essential._

_The doctors told her time was essential, Miles._

_She saved you, don't forget about that._

_-_ This wasn't just wine. - Miles felt shivers going down his spine when that realization hit him as he grabbed Suki into his arms and took her to the bathroom.

 _They told me the doctors sorta did this to me, too, so..._ He though to himself.

Miles tried to cause Suki to vomit and indeed, along with the wine, Miles thought he could tell there was a sort of white _something_ in that mess. Something that shouldn't be there.

He started to slap Suki's face again.

\- Show me some reflex, for God' sake!

Of course he thought of taking her to the ambulatory but there was not going to be anyone there since everyone in that ship was told to evacuate the lower decks and halls after the fire alarm went off.

And time was essential.

 _Lay him on his left side so he won't choke on his own vomit and leave him be, he'll be fine in the morning_. Nick had told the others about Matt, who had drank too much.

Miles rolled Suki to her left side and sat by her on the floor, checking if she was still breathing.

She coughed a bit.

\- That's right.

But that was it. It wasn't until nighttime that she opened her eyes. Sort of.

By then she had been moved to her bed, again, once Miles made sure she wasn't going to vomit and choke and die.

\- Suki? - Miles sat by her side, pushing the hair out of her forehead.  
\- Yeah?  
\- How are you feeling?   
\- Tired.

She was indeed fighting her eyelids to look at him.

\- Sleep some more, it's alright.  
\- Did Austin eat, already?

_She thinks we're home._

\- Yes, he's fine. Everything is fine.  
\- I promise I'll iron your shirts, tomorrow morning.  
\- It's alright, I can do that myself.  
\- I want to do something for you, too. You're a good man, Miles.  
\- Thank you. Go back to sleep, now. You're tired.  
\- Don't forget to feed the fish.  
\- I won't forget, I promise.  
\- Have a nice day at work.  
\- See you soon, dear.

They didn't even own a fish.

Suki fell asleep again and, despite her not making any sense, Miles swore he had never felt more relieved in his whole life.

He got up and locked the door and then walked back to sit on the sofa. It wasn't that big so he could sleep comfortably but it was comfortable so he managed to find an acceptable position to try to fall asleep in — even though he didn't bat an eye since he was too worried to really catch any sleep.

On the next morning Miles tried to wake Suki, again.

\- Darling? - He called, running his hand through her hair.  
\- What's it, Miles? - She replied, not really opening her eyes.  
\- How are you feeling?   
\- Sleepy.  
\- Just that?   
\- My head hurts a bit. What are you doing here?  
\- It's a long story. Do you want to tell me what you took?   
\- What I took? - Suki frowned a bit.  
\- To sleep.  
\- Oh.

Miles watched as her expression changed and she started to think of excuses until she finally gave up.

\- I don't know, really. - She opened her eyes to look at him.  
\- A'ight, we can talk about it later, then.   
\- No, I... I really _don't_ know.  
\- How come?

Suki adjusted her position on the bed, her head was pounding violently. She was thirsty.

\- I... sort of... _stole_ some pills from a woman at the restaurant.  
\- You what!?  
\- She was talking to her friends about this powder and how it has never failed to put her to sleep so I thought... maybe... I... and I even think it's the same thing you always take.

Despite everything Miles kept his cool.

\- Where's the bottle?   
\- It's in my purse, somewhere over there. - Suki pointed at the left side of the room.

Miles searched around the room.

\- This isn't... I don't even know what these are.   
\- They're not the same as yours?  
\- No, these are kinda green or something. - He looked back at Suki. - How many did you take?  
\- Three.

Miles took a deep breath.

\- And you chased them down with...?  
\- Look, only now I'm realizing how stupid this was but hand to God that it didn't feel like the wrong thing to be doing. I was having too many nightmares... I just wanted to rest a bit.

_I know exactly how that feels._

\- You didn't answer my question.

She sighed.

\- Wine.

He went to sit by her side on the bed, again.

\- There's an episode of my life I hadn't told you about. A long time ago, before I ever thought of marrying anyone, one day I was desperately in need of some sleep. It had been three days since I had had some rest so I went to a pharmacy downtown and bought a bottle of Veronal and took it home. I took three cachets and it didn't work, I was mad and then I took six more cachets and I was completely fine until I started to feel dizzy and passed out. I woke up in the hospital two or three days later and mum was there, I almost died. Lillian was the one to find me and take me to the hospital so when she died I took those cachets so maybe I would... maybe she would come for me again, if I was in danger. Stupid idea. And then I continued doing so until I've become addicted to those cachets. They have no effect on me anymore, I don't even feel sleepy when I take them, but I _have to_ take those three cachets every night or I just won't be able to sleep. The last thing I want is for you to end up like me and also, alcohol just boosts the effects and you haven't been eating or sleeping since you got Jada's letter, and also I'm taller, and weigh more than you so the dosage wouldn't be same for the both of us. You could _really_ have died.   
\- My God. - Suki seemed distressed. - I didn't think about any of this. I really didn't.  
\- It's alright, now. - Miles tried to calm her down. - Just never do it again.

Not in a million years Miles thought he would become so patient.

Maybe fatherhood and getting old had granted him that virtue.

And he also couldn't believe he was the one who was playing the "this is a stupid thing to do" role, now. Specially about that matter, it was like fate was pulling a practical joke on him.

\- I'm sorry. I won't do it again. I don't know what I was thinking!   
\- It's over, hey, it's over! It's alright.  
\- I just... I... My head is going to explode.  
\- You're probably hangover, too. Drink this. - Miles handed her a glass of water.   
\- Thank you. I'm sorry.  
\- I ' _ave_ _to_ swing by me room but I'll be back shortly. Do you think you'll be fine?  
\- Yeah, yeah. I'll be ok.  
\- Don't get up. Be right back.  
\- Alright, I won't.

Miles got into his shared cabin and started to look for some fresh clothes so he could take a shower and change. Maybe he would ask someone to bring him food at Suki's room.

\- ... _lei aveva una bambina._ \- Dante stopped talking when he and Elmo saw Miles. - Mate, where have you been? - He asked. - We were worried about you because you have been missing since the fire's false alarm.   
\- I'm sorry guys, it's just that my wife became too distressed about this whole fire thing and then she started to feel sick and then she passed out, I couldn't just leave her on her own so I had to wait until she felt stable enough so I could come back 'ere to grab some stuff so I can keep an eye on her some more.  
\- Is she ok, now? - Elmo asked.  
\- Yeah, just a bit of a headache, nothing major.   
\- At least.   
\- I'll be back, I don't know exactly when but I'll be back to this room. I just have to make sure Suki is fine and everything.  
\- Of course, mate. Don't worry, your luggage is safe here with us. May her feel better.  
\- Thank you, guys. I'll report back.

Miles went back to Suki's room.

\- I'm back. How are you feeling?  
\- My head still hurts and I'm a bit sleepy but apart from that I'm fine.   
\- Great.  
\- I'm sorry, Miles. I'm just so, so, so embarrassed, right now.  
\- No, there's no reason for that. Really. Don't worry.   
\- Can't help it.  
\- Just try not to think about it as much as you can. Maybe you should take another nap.

Suki nodded slightly.

\- I'm gonna take a shower in your bathroom, 'ere, and then if you let me, I'd like to spend the afternoon with you so I can keep an eye on you and help you with whatever you need, but we can discuss that after I'm done showering.  
\- Alright.  
\- Be right back.

Suki was left alone with her thoughts going round her pounding head.

Miles walked back into the main area of the room about ten minutes later.

\- Can you promise me something? - Suki asked Miles.  
\- It depends.  
\- Don't ever tell Austin about any of this, please?  
\- You didn't even 'ave to ask me that. As soon as I'm sure you're one hundred percent fine I'll forget this even happened.  
\- Thank you.  
\- People do some strange stuff when they're mourning. I certainly did. It's ok.

Suki was following Miles with her eyes as he neatly folded the clothes he had been wearing before the shower.

\- Can I ask you something?  
\- Of course.  
\- I've been meaning to ask this since the very beginning of this marriage but always refrained myself to do so.  
\- Yeah?  
\- Why are you so good to me? I mean, I understand you being an amazing father to Austin but why are you nice to _me?_  
\- Can I ask you something back?

Suki nodded.

\- Why wouldn't I be?  
\- I don't... know. I kind of messed up your life, back then, so...  
\- No, you didn't. You really didn't.

It was true. If she wasn't being threatened, maybe, Lil wouldn't have gone away. Maybe she and Miles would have thought of something so they could still be together but since she thought she _had to_ leave him in order to _save_ him, she pulled the "a kid with another woman" card. But that had nothing to do with what happened after Lil left Jamie at the hideout.

\- Even though both our lives took unexpected turns a long while ago, I don't think I would have changed anything, right now. - Miles sat on the ledge of the window and looked back at Suki. - What does Austin mean to you? - He asked.  
\- Everything. He's everything to me.   
\- Can you imagine how life would be without him?  
\- No, I can't.  
\- The same applies to me, Suki. Austin was the reason I didn't give everything up in my life and if things hadn't happened the way they did, our son wouldn't exist and who knows what would have become of the both of us. I would probably be dead, in the _best_ scenario.  
\- I have no idea where I would be, too.   
\- I've never said anything, specifically, about that but thank you for deciding you'd let me in your lives, yours and Austin's, I mean. I know you were kind of... scared of me, back then, and then I also kept at least a hundred things from you at the same time I was claiming to be completely honest but you were really willing to give me a chance. I don't know why but I'm forever thankful for that. And you also had to put up with a lot of shit I've been through when it felt I was about to go insane because of everything that had happened.   
\- Well, since it looks like we're telling each other things we've kept in secret all this time, I think I should tell you something but I don't want you to say anything about what I'm about to tell you. It's just something that happened and it explains why I didn't run away to another town with baby Austin.  
\- A'ight, I won't say anything.  
\- I decided to let you in our lives because I didn't want him to be alone in case I died. - She sighed heavily. - I had a very difficult pregnancy and was always scared I would suffer a miscarriage or, as the doctors warned me, that I would die during delivery so I didn't want my baby to be alone in the world. At first I had planned to never ever tell you anything about him but after I was taken to the hospital the first time I changed my mind. That's why I didn't push you away after I saw how you seemed to be so... _enchanted_ by Austin the first time you met him and then you proved to be even more capable of taking care of him than I was. I knew he was blessed to have you.

Suki stopped talking and Miles' eyes were roaming around the room, never looking directly at her. It was like he had an enormous block of cement in his throat.

He wanted to tell her he was, he _really_ was, sorry and that he wish he knew she was pregnant from the start and that he would never ever have left her alone for a single second if she thought she was at risk.

\- You still haven't answered my question, tho.   
\- You're my friend, Suki. I hold you very dear. There's nothing I would do for Austin, Alexa and Aiden that I wouldn't do for you, too. Don't feel like I'm shutting you out of anything because that's the last thing I'd be doing to you.  
\- I see. Thank you, Miles.  
\- How are you feeling now?   
\- A bit better. I wanted all of this to be just a dream, when I woke up, but since it's not I'll try to get my act together and face the music and sway along to it.   
\- It's perfectly fine to be sad... - Miles walked towards the bed and sat by the end of it. - but there's nothing you could do to bring him back so don't beat yourself up about that. It's funny how I used to _hate_ this speech but it is absolutely true.   
\- I'll try not to. Thank you, dear.

Miles just smiled a bit at her.

\- I'm gonna ask someone to bring some food. Do you want something? Maybe some tea.   
\- No, thank you. I think I'm going to take another nap.   
\- Yeah, it's going to do you good.  
\- Stay as long as you want.  
\- A'ight.

When Suki woke up, it was late at night again.

She was feeling way better and her head wasn't pounding anymore. She went into the bathroom and washed her face, tied her hair up and resisted the urge to punch her own nose.

Then she went to grab a blanket to wrap it around herself and sat by the window.

Her eyes fell upon a note on the nightstand.

_I'll come see you in the morning. Leave the door unlocked._

_-_ There you are. - Miles said, when the boys opened the door of their cabin, taking off his glasses. - I borrowed your book, Elmo. Hope you don't mind.  
\- Of course not! - Elmo smiled a bit. - How's your wife?  
\- She's better. I'm gonna go check on her again, tomorrow morning.  
\- Glad she's fine. - Alonzo said and Dante agreed.   
\- Our _padre_ would be happy to see that, you taking good care of your missus, I mean. He's always barking in our ears about that. - Dante told Miles.  
\- Old man loves our mother to bits, it's kinda funny sometimes. - Elmo added. - Dante, you remember that time he started to cry when _madre_ told him she was gonna go away if he forgot to takes us home from school, again?   
\- _Sì_! _Uomo sciocco_! - Dante laughed.  
\- I just love those two. - Elmo said, smiling a bit.   
\- Hope some day I'll find a girl that will swipe me off my feet, too. - Alonzo thought out loud.  
\- You might. - Miles told him, smiling a bit, too.   
\- Yeah. You hold on to yours, though. _Papa_ oftentell us "a love like that only comes around once", so you know...  
\- He's right. - Miles said, a bit lost in his thoughts. - But sometimes the biggest proof of love you could give someone is to let your love for them fade away or you become too toxic for everyone else around you.

Of course those boys couldn't understand what Miles was referring to.


	9. Italian

\- Whatever happens, keep calm.

Suki nodded at Miles.

The enormous door of Norman Waterhouse's Italian home was opened.

\- _Signorina!_ \- A maid said, surprised.  
\- Hello, Martina. - Suki greeted the maid. - I'd like to speak to Jada, please.

The maid told Suki and Miles to get inside and then told them she would go get Jada.

\- What are you doing here, Alice? - Jada asked, entering the living room where Suki was whispering to Miles about how all of the frames with pictures of her and her mother were gone, now. Jada was wearing a vivid green dress and some jewels in the same colour.   
\- I've come to talk to you about my dad.   
\- Didn't you get my letter?  
\- Of course I did, that's exactly why we're here.   
\- If you came here to contest the will I'm sorry but—  
\- I don't want to know about any money you—

Suki felt Miles' tightening his grip on her waist.

She took a deep breath before resuming her line.

\- Why didn't you tell me my father was sick? Why didn't he write to me?   
\- I don't know. Well, in fact he kept telling me how sad he was because you abandoned him. He didn't want to see you ever again.  
\- That's a lie! - Suki protested.  
\- Why would I lie?  
\- You're evil, that's why. - Miles said.  
\- Oh, am I? Am I evil for saying the truth you don't want to hear?   
\- That's not the truth. - Suki said, again. - My father would never be so upset at me to a point he'd say he wouldn't want to see me ever again!   
\- You're being repetitive, Alice. - Jada said in a tone of disdain. - Go back to filthy America, with your husband. Back to that little rat you call your son.

Suki meant to take a step forward but Miles pulled her back.

He was the one to take a step forward, instead.

\- If I were you I'd start watching my tongue. - Miles hissed.   
\- Or what?

She was staring back into Miles' eyes.

\- It's _not_ gonna end up good for you, I can promise you that.  
\- You two are tiring me. - Jada said, turning her attention the other way.  
\- Miles? - Suki called, she sounded like she was choking.

Miles' eyes longed a second more on Jada's profile before he turned around.

\- Yes?  
\- I don't feel... - Suki shook her head.  
\- You need to rest. Let's go back to the hotel.  
\- To the hotel and then to the ship and then home. You have no businesses here. What is done is done, Norman is dead.   
\- You don't seem distressed about the death of your husband. - Miles remarked.   
\- He didn't like it when I was sad so I'm making sure I'm living, I guess. - She shrugged.

Everything about the way she was acting didn't make sense in Miles' perception.

\- Which graveyard did you bury him? - Suki asked in a tiny voice.   
\- _Cimitero Comunale_.   
\- What's the plot's number? - Miles asked when he understood Suki couldn't.   
\- I don't exactly remember... but well, you could always ask around there. And if you excuse me, I'd like you two to leave because I have really important things to do.   
\- It doesn't end here. - Suki told Jada while Miles held her by her waist and started to guide her outside.

On the streets, a bit far away from the house, Suki asked Miles to stop walking.

\- I don't feel good. - She looked at him for a second. Uncomfortableness painted all over her face.   
\- What are you feeling?  
\- I'm going to be sick. - She said, walking towards a wall and putting her hand on it.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

\- I'm... sweating, my hands are cold. I don't know what is going on.

Miles stopped and thought for a minute.

\- This is terrible. - Suki added.

 _I'm almost sure what is wrong._ Miles said under his breath.

\- Do you think you can walk just a bit more? - Miles asked. Suki still had her palm pressed against the wall. - We're almost at the main street, we could get a cab.  
\- Just give me a second.   
\- A'ight. All the time you need.

After a few more minutes of concentrating on keeping her breathing steady, Suki felt she was slightly better and could make it to the road.

\- Don't let Jada get into your head. - Miles told Suki as he embraced her waist and put her arm around his shoulder to keep her steady.  
\- I'm trying. I feel awful, I couldn't fight back when she said that about Austin... I... I'm just the worst mother.  
\- That's not true. Dear, if there was a prize for being a good mother you'd have won it at least nine times, now.   
\- I'm not sure about anything anymore.

Miles felt the thin hairs on Suki's arm rising at the same time he felt her shiver.

\- A'ight. Just... - He said, stopping her. - Leave it to me, now.

Suki looked confused for a second until Miles grabbed her in his arms and started to walk a bit faster than they were walking before, taking her to the main road.

He put her down for a second and hailed a cab, asked the driver, with the tiny italian vocabulary that he had been practicing, to take them to the hotel.

\- Gimme your hands.

Miles took Suki's hands and kept them on his own, it felt like he was holding two blocks of ice.

\- It's going to be fine. - He whispered to her.

Upon arriving to their hotel, Suki's teeth had started chattering and she was clenching her jaw to try to make it stop.

It didn't feel like she was going to faint or something like that but she had been shivering and slightly trembling.

Miles opened the door of their room and told her to get in first.

\- What's wrong with me? - She thought out loud, getting into bed and pulling all the blankets over her body.   
\- Remember those cachets you took? - Miles asked her, closing the curtains of the room.   
\- Yes.  
\- Only now the drug is really out of your body. And what you're feeling right now is your body asking for _more_... and then it hit me that what was inside of those cachets was opium and you took it the wrong way and too much.   
\- What? - Suki frowned.  
\- That's why you shouldn't be stealing other people's bottles of medicine. - Miles walked towards an armchair by the window closest to the bed and sat down. - Good news is give it a few hours and you should feel better.   
\- But why do you think this is opium? How...  
\- Let's just say that "the roaring twenties" was not the only one roaring in their twenties.   
\- Oh, come on. - Suki closed her eyes.  
\- I'm sorry.  
\- This is typical me, isn't it? I mean, do something for the first time and do it as wrong as possible.   
\- Happens to the best of us.  
\- At least I'm not a disaster in the kitchen.   
\- That is very true.

Both fell silent for a while.

\- You told me you can't sleep without those... pills you take. But what about you stop taking those, too?   
\- I've tried... I can't. I can't quit them.   
\- So you still use opium, then?  
\- No. That I quit when my mum arrived at the States. It was a very... hard thing to do but... somehow I managed to.   
\- Why do you think you can't quit Veronal, then? You said it has no effect on you.  
\- It has not the effect it's supposed to 'ave, not the same effect it would 'ave on you, for example. If you took it, you'd sleep and wake up feeling new. When I take it, it makes my body go weak, my mind stop racing, I feel... light. And when I'm not feeling that I long to feel that again. It has helped me to go through those awful first years of loss. I'm afraid if I try to stop, again, it's gonna wreck all of my progress so far.   
\- But would you be willing to try again? To stop. - Suki asked. Her forehead covered in cold sweat. - Those first years you didn't "let me in" on anything regarding how you were feeling. Every time Austin wasn't around you would just lock yourself in your room and stay there until he was home again. Wouldn't even come out to eat.  
\- I was fighting my mind, back then.   
\- Yeah, I understand that. But where I'm trying to get is: if you let me, I want to help you. You'd have to tell me how but I really wish you'd stop it. My God, this feels awful and if it's the same way you feel when you're not on those things so...  
\- That's how I feel, more or less. - Miles admitted.  
\- It's awful.  
\- Can I ask you something?  
\- Yes.  
\- Why are you being nice to me? - Miles asked, a sad smirk on his face.  
\- I have no reasons to be mean to you.

She said and then stopped.

Miles thought that was it but after a few moments of silence Suki went on.

\- You're... different from every guy out there. I mean, in eight years of living together you never ever shot an angry stare at me. You were never too angry or too upset to... be rude to me or anything. And I know I've done that to you a couple of times when I was pulling my hair out over the restaurant, I'm sorry about that. All these years you could have just went around and dated someone else because you fell in love with them and not to care what people would say about me, because our marriage is actually a lie and because almost every married man has a mistress on the side. You didn't because somehow you thought you owe me respect when in fact you don't owe me anything.  
\- I didn't because that's not how I was raised. Those are not my principles.  
\- I understood that after a while. And _the_ promise, you've kept your promise. So... why would I just not to be nice to you when all you did was to be nice to me?   
\- May I ask you something?  
\- Please.  
\- Have you? Dated anyone else, these years we've been playing marriage, I mean.   
\- No, I haven't.  
\- Why?  
\- Being really honest, I thought you didn't deserve that. I mean, you were trying to make a family out of us. You, Austin and I. I couldn't just throw all of that away focusing on something other than your effort. And after some time you and I were really getting along and sharing thoughts, asking for each other's opinions, trusting each other. I didn't feel I needed anything else other than what we have as a family. I'm very happy with how things turned out.  
\- And to think I was afraid you were gonna stab me in my sleep with those sharp knives you own. - Miles said.

Suki frowned at him.

\- Just kidding. - A smirk on his face. - Well, I'm happy you're happy. I'm very grateful for your efforts, too, and pleased to tell you I'm happy as well.   
\- Glad to hear that. - She stammered.

It seemed the more Suki would pull the blankets tighter around her body, more cold she would be.

\- But you didn't say what I want to hear. - She insisted.

Miles just kept looking at her.

\- Will you let me help you?   
\- I have to think about it. I don't know if I really want to _stop_. - Miles decided to be brutally honest. - I'll give you an answer when we get back home.   
\- Alright.   
\- But thank you for willing to help me. That means a lot. - He said, getting up and walking towards her. He took her hands, again. - You're still too cold.   
\- Am I going to be fine?   
\- I hope so. - Miles answered and right after he added. - I mean, yeah. You're going to be fine, no doubt about that. Don't worry.  
\- Would you get another blanket for me, please?   
\- Sure. But I think you should take a warm bath, it would really help... I can arrange that and then I'm going to light up the fireplace so we can sit around it and warm ourselves up.   
\- I don't know if I can get up from here and if I do I don't think I can stay standing.   
\- That's why I suggested a bath, not a shower. I could help you to the water, if you want.   
\- I don't know about that, I mean... You... I...

Miles understood what was going on Suki's mind.

\- I hadn't thought about that part but, - He started to say, trying not to laugh. - I don't know if you remember but nine years and some nine months ago I saw you naked.  
\- Oh my God, stop that. - Suki said, looking down. Embarrassed.  
\- I'm sorry. - He was still trying not to laugh. - I didn't mean to embarrass you.   
\- Well, you said it would help then I will take a bath. - She ignored his last comment. - You don't need to help me with anything, though.   
\- A'ight. I'll call you when it's ready.  
\- Alright, thank you.

Some twenty minutes later, Miles walked back into the main area of the room and called for Suki.

\- It's ready. I put some towels for you there. - He said, approaching the bed.  
\- Thank you. - Suki said, starting to pull the blankets off of her, one by one. She got up, embracing herself, still shivering.

Miles touched her forehead.

_Cold._

\- You're gonna feel better after the bath. I'll 'ave the fire started by the time you come out.

She nodded and walked into the bathroom and closed the door behind her.

Miles started the fire and put some blankets on the floor by the fireplace so Suki could sit on even lay on them if she wanted to. Some pillows, too. He lit up a cigarette and pulled open one of the curtains, standing in front of the window, and despite being late, the Sun was still saying goodbye so Miles stayed there, watching the pink sky being stroked by the orange rays of light.

He thought of something.

\- Suki? - He called, approaching the bathroom door.  
\- _Yeah_?   
\- How do I say "coffee" in italian?  
\- _Why do you think I speak every language on Earth?_  
 _-_ Well, you taught mehow to ask cab drivers to bring me to the hotel.   
\- _Espresso._  
 _-_ Es... what?  
\- _ESPRESSO._  
 _-_ Espresso... ESPRESSO. Is that right?  
\- _Yes, that's right._  
\- A'ight... Now how do I say "two"?

He could hear Suki laughing.

\- _Due._  
 _-_ Right.

Miles phoned the reception and asked them to bring _due espresso_ to the room.

By the time Suki came out of the bathroom, wrapped in a fluffy robe, somebody knocked on the bedroom door and Miles went to answer it and get the coffee.

\- _Grazie?_ \- Miles sounded more like he was asking something than really thanking the man. - Here, I ordered some coffee for us. - He walked towards Suki, who was already sitting down by the fire.  
\- Thank you. - She said, grabbing the saucer with a teacup on it.

Miles sat by her side with his own teacup.

\- You know that— Suki stopped talking, sipping on her coffee. - they speak English, here, right?  
\- Yeah, I found that out after I mumbled "two coffees" in italian and they asked in old good english "what's the room's number?".

Suki laughed a bit.

\- Only you to make me laugh in such a state.   
\- My pleasure. - Miles smiled a bit. - How are you feeling, now?   
\- A bit better, indeed. At least physically.  
\- It's something.

Both just kept listening to the murmuring of the fire consuming the wood.

\- What are we gonna do now? - Miles asked, referring to everything that had happened earlier that day.  
\- All that's left to do is go to the cemetery. I think I just needed to go into that house and make sure my dad wasn't actually there. Sitting on the couch, reading the paper... I think that's why I wanted us to go there. Even though it wasn't anything I thought it would be, the conversation, I mean.  
\- I see. If you're feeling fine tomorrow, then we're going there.   
\- Yeah... I really need to be fine because Jada didn't give us any numbers and that place is huge. It's going to take us a while to find him... it. Sorry.  
\- I don't mind. Really. We came here to sort this out and we're not leaving until we 'ave done so.   
\- Thank you, Miles. I don't know what I would do if I were by myself.  
\- Don't mention it.

Miles was sweating in his own clothes. It was summer in the northern hemisphere and still Miles had lit up the fireplace and sat by it to keep Suki company until he made sure she was better.

He unbuttoned the two first buttons of his shirt.

\- Oh, I forgot to ask you. - Suki started to say. - Last day of the trip I overheard a conversation... some people talking about the fire alarm going off or something.

Miles choked on his coffee.

\- Fire alarm?   
\- Yes.  
\- No, I don't remember any fire alarms going off on the ship. Maybe they were talking about somewhere else?   
\- Yeah, that should be it. - Suki shrugged.   
\- Yeah. Well, if you're feeling better then I'm going to take a shower and then going to sleep. I'm a bit tired.   
\- Of course. You should do that.   
\- A'ight, then. - Miles said, getting up. He put his teacup on the mantelpiece. - I'll be right back.

Suki stayed by the fire, warming up her hands and feet and finishing her coffee.

Inside the bathroom, after the shower, Miles was — for the second time in his life — debating if he really should stop taking Veronal.

_I don't see why I should stop. I mean, it's not like it's going to kill me, at this point..._

_At the same time why should I keep on taking it?_

_I don't know, I don't want to think about it right now._

He laid the usual three cachets on his hand and put them in his mouth, chasing them with a glass of water.

\- You're going to bed, now? - He asked Suki, walking towards her. He was now wearing his "pajamas".  
\- No, not right now. I'm really enjoying the warmth, here.  
\- A'ight... just wake me up if you need aaaaaanything, right? And I mean _anything_.  
\- Right, I'll do that.  
\- Perfect. - Miles said, leaning to kiss the top of Suki's head. - Good night, dear.   
\- Good night, Miles.

Suki watched as Miles disappeared behind the wall that divided two of the three rooms of the bedroom and then she turned her attention back to the fire.

Miles laid down on the big comfy sofa and put his head on his pillow.

Despite sleeping in the same bed as Suki, at home, he didn't feel he should be doing that when they were not home. At home the bed was _his_ after all, so there was no way he wasn't going to sleep in it.

And maybe for the first time in nine years, he didn't dream of anything.

————————————————————————

\- This place is too big to be this empty... Visitors, I mean.   
\- I agree.   
\- The thing is that he wanted to be buried in our family tomb, back in England. Where mom is. Where I would go if I had never married anyone.  
\- I mean... - Miles started, scratching his nape. - If England is where you want to be buried then...   
\- Not anymore... there's no point, now. But, yeah, let's change the subject it's getting too morbid. I'm sorry. - Suki shook her head.  
\- Can I ask you something?  
\- Why you always ask if you can ask me stuff?   
\- It's a habit, I think. - Miles shrugged.  
\- Go ahead.  
\- Well, don't you think Jada is too _happy_ for someone who just became a widow after being married to someone for twenty-seven years?   
\- Yes... but at the same time maybe she just doesn't want to look like she's hurting, in front of me. She hates me, always have.  
\- She calls you by your first name.  
\- Because she knows I hate it.   
\- Of course.  
\- And even though I hate her as well and never ever understood what my father liked about her, I know people deal with grief differently.   
\- Still, I... - Miles clicked his tongue. - What if I died?

Suki looked at him.

\- I know we're not a couple but we're close friends and have built a life together as such. What if I died?   
\- I don't want to think about it.  
\- Why's that?   
\- Because it'd be terrible! I don't want you to die. Ever.   
\- Now imagine if we were happily married for twenty-seven years.   
\- Can you just stop?   
\- Sorry. I was just thinking out loud.  
\- I think we're close. - Suki changed her focus again. - The burier told us the newest graves are on this part so it should be it.  
\- Do we split up?  
\- No... I. I don't want to be alone if I find it first.   
\- Alright.

Miles and Suki kept on walking around, reading, it seemed, every name on every tombstone. And then Miles' eyes fell upon what they were looking for.

He stood in front of the tombstone to block Suki's view and touched her arm, gently.

\- Darling. - He said, in a quiet voice. Almost a whisper.

Suki looked at him and closed her eyes for a second, then she nodded. He moved and was now standing by her side.

He could see Suki pressing her lips together, as she did every time she was deeply hurt but didn't want to let it show. A single tear fell off her eye before an ocean followed it.

Miles took a step closer to her and hugged her, rubbing her back.

_Then this is how I would feel._

She wasn't sobbing. It seemed she didn't have the strength to do so.

 _-_ It hurts... this weight being lifted off of my chest. I don't know what's worse than this.

_Oh, I know._

\- I'm sorry. - Miles said. He truly was.  
\- We'll be fine.

Miles frowned a bit.

_We?_

After a few more minutes, Suki turned her attention back to the tombstone, again.

She got on her knees and started to speak in a whisper.

Miles took a step back and lowered his head, closing his eyes, trying to block Suki's voice. He thought whatever she was saying wasn't his business.

The whispering stopped and Suki got back on her feet.

\- We should go, now. - She told Miles.

He just nodded.

Even though he wanted to ask her what she intended to do next, he thought maybe he should give her time to digest what had just happened.

\- You go back to the hotel... I'm gonna go downtown. Gonna talk to a priest and ask him when he could come down here.   
\- Are you sure you don't want me to come with you?  
\- Yeah. I'll be fine.   
\- Alright.

They parted ways at the cemetery gates.

But Miles wasn't sure Suki was really fine so she could just walk around alone and then he followed her.

 _It was because you followed a woman that you had your whole life turned into a mess, Miles._ He thought.

At some point Miles saw a floundering burgundy skirt quickly hiding around the corner and then he hid, too.

He saw when Jada, checking if Suki was _really_ gone, left her hiding spot and quickened her pace. For a second he was paralyzed by having to choose between following Suki and keep on making sure she was fine or following Jada and finding out about her secret agenda. And then, with a mental apology to Suki, he started to follow Jada.

After having walked a few streets, turned around at five corners, Jada went into an alley. Miles stopped for he thought she was luring him in but after he realized she wasn't, he went in there too.

Miles was walking as silently as possible when he heard voices and stopped. Closing his eyes so it was one less sense to dispute attention with his ears.

\- _Alice is here, she's been to the house._  
 _\- Yes, we knew she would come. Did she contest the will?_  
 _\- No. Says she don't want any money. But her nosy husband is with her and I don't like him... I felt like he was_ sniffing _something. I don't know..._  
 _\- Listen, there is no way anyone could find about anything. It was done perfectly. Not even the doctors could tell what was wrong with him._  
 _\- Yes, I know. You were right, no one would think about needles._

 _Needles?_ Miles frowned.

\- _Exactly. we're safe. In one month we will be far away from here, bathing in the Sun. Living our best lives, sitting on a pile of money._  
 _\- Our money._  
 _\- Yes._  
 _\- Alright, everything will be fine._  
 _\- Yes, it will be fine. I love you._  
 _\- I love you so much, Joseph._

When Jada started to ask Joseph other random stuff, Miles knew it was time to think about the next move. He had always known there was something very wrong about Jada but he would never ever think she could be a murderess.

Miles went around the corner and found a spot from where he could see everything but couldn't be seen. About half an hour later, he saw Jada walking away from the alley and five minutes after he could put a name to Joseph's face.

 _So it is you... -_ He thought as he started to follow the man.

———————————————————————

\- Jesus Christ, where were you? - Suki asked. She had her arms crossed in front of her chest, standing by the window.  
\- I'm sorry, dear. I... You were taking long to come back so in the meantime I thought of going to one of these bakeries and buying some pastries for us. I mean, I thought it could cheer you up a bit. I got kinda lost but... I bought some cake and those _Pasticci... ot..._  
\- _Pasticciotto leccese_. - Suki said, uncrossing her arms and walking towards Miles. She grabbed the brown paper bag he was carrying and put it on the small table by the fireplace.- You remember that?   
\- You wouldn't shut up about it when we got home, last time. I remember you made some for us but you were always complaining about how—  
\- The italian egg custard had some different in it and I couldn't replicate it. I must confess I'm very... surprised you even payed attention to that.   
\- There are some things that strike me differently. It is very random, but that was one of those things that struck me.

That was true. But the affirmation that _that_ had struck Miles was a lie. He was just thanking his over-creative brain and elephant memory for giving him an idea to be used as a perfect excuse for the fact that Miles had been out for several hours, preying on Joseph.

Suki smiled a bit at him.

He knew that smile was the same as a "thank you".

She seemed to be taken aback so he knew she wasn't going to ask any further questions.

 _Perfect_.

\- So did you sort it all with the priest?  
\- Yes, he's coming there tomorrow morning. - Suki said, placing a _pasticiotto_ on a napkin and giving it to Miles.   
\- Thank you.  
\- But you don't need to go with us. I mean, I'm just doing that because it is my father, you know we both don't give a fuck about any churches and priests so I won't make you listen to a whole mass.  
\- I'll come with you. I can always divert my attention to something else if I really need to.   
\- You can come if you still want to come, tomorrow morning, then.   
\- A'ight.  
\- Let's wrap this up and go home. I know the next ship is only leaving in four days but... it's gonna feel better if we're done with it.  
\- For sure.

Miles took a bite on his sweet.

\- You seemed to be pacing the room, when I arrived. Something wrong?  
\- You were missing.   
\- I'm sorry I didn't leave a note. I forgot about it, completely.

_Two lies in fifteen minutes, Miles._

\- It's fine, now.   
\- I know I've said it before but you don't have to get nervous every time I go out and don't leave a note, sometimes I just forget to. It doesn't mean I'm in danger or something like that.  
\- I know. I just can't help it.

The first time Miles left without notice, he came back home with several bruises on his face and body, two days later. Austin was feverish and would often ask about Miles and Suki didn't know what to do.

That was enough for her nerves get to her every time Miles just "went missing".

\- I'm gonna take a shower, now. It's unbelievably hot in this country. - Miles said, getting up. - Oh, but can I tell you something, first?   
\- You're still asking... just say it. - Suki laughed a bit.   
\- I think your _pasti-_ thingies are better than these italian ones.  
\- _Pasti_ -thingies?  
\- _Pardon my French._ \- Miles joked, walking into the bathroom.  
\- For someone so committed to learning japanese, and doing so in just three years, you're certainly _not_ making any efforts about the _pasticiottos_. - Suki spoke a bit louder so Miles could hear her from inside the bathroom.   
\- _Gomen'nasai! -_ He yelled.

Suki laughed.

———————————————————————

 _Alright_.

Miles tied a knot in the handkerchief he had put over his mouth and nose to avoid breathing so much dust. His shirt neatly folded inside of the bag he had taken with him. His locket, too.

It was the middle of the night.

The second time, on that day, that he had been to that cemetery. But differently from just some hours before, now Miles wasn't there to attend any masses.

\- I can't believe I'm wrecking the Waterhouse family from father to daughter. - He whispered to himself as he grabbed the shovel.

What Miles was talking about was that, since he just couldn't leave the hotel in the middle of the night without a valid excuse and not come back, probably until morning, he had to drug Suki and then he was feeling one hundred percent awful because she had went through the first stages of the cold-turkey state, just two days before. It was not fair.

But it wasn't fair he'd let Jada roaming around, free to go wherever she wanted when she had just killed the man Suki loved the most in the world, as well. Go wherever she wanted with the man she was _cheating_ on his father-in-law, with. The reason she had killed him.

He left a note for when she would wake up in the morning.

_"Went downtown to buy us some good English wine._   
_Be back soon._   
_X"_

One more lie in 24 hours.

\- At least there's no grass, yet. Because I wouldn't know how to put it back.

Miles started to dig as fast as he could. One because he was alone and then he really had to move fast if he wanted to get to the coffin, find out whatever the fuck had happened, and bury Norman, again. Two because he was risking to get caught.

After a few hours of digging, Miles' shovel hit a hardest spot. A muffled sound.

\- Finally. - Miles said, in almost a whisper.

Miles put the shovel by the grave and reached for his bag, he grabbed the crowbar he had bought just for that occasion and jumped in the grave.

He held his breath as he pushed the coffin's lid to the side.

_I don't even know exactly what I'm looking for._

_Should I pull him out?_

_No... too gooey._

With his naked fingers, Miles started to touch and press down every viable spot of Norman's corpse.

\- I don't feel anything...

_Needles... did I really hear "needles"?_

_Yes, I did. It couldn't be anything else._

_-_ What if...

Miles started to touch the skin of Norman's face and neck and it wasn't until he touched the top of the dead man's head that he found what he was looking for.

\- I hope this is not it.

And then Miles felt what seemed to be the tip of something metallic and sharp. He pulled it off and his heart skipped a bit when he saw the long sewing needle, resting on the palm of his hand. 

He repeated that a few times and when he was done, he had five needles on the palm of his hand.

\- This is just too sick. This is too much for me.

Miles, now feeling a bit nauseous, wrapped the needles in a tissue and put them in his pocket.

\- I'm sorry, Norman.

The lid of the coffin was put back in its place and all the dirt was thrown over it, one more and for the last time.

It was still dark when Miles managed to get into Joseph's house.

**18 hours later**

\- A true gentleman would have taken off his hat... and put his cigarette out before walking in. - Jada said, looking at Miles standing next to her from the corner of her eye.   
\- Sorry, didn't see the point but I didn't mean to disrespect your imaginary friends up in the altar. - Miles said, getting down on his knees right next to that awful woman who seemed to be praying.   
\- Why are you here?

She looked around to make sure Joseph wasn't going to walk in and, since he was late, bump into Miles without knowing that was him.

\- I've come to say a prayer. - Miles said, blowing smoke towards the altar and then putting the cigarette out. - You're looking around a lot... waiting for someone?   
\- No.  
\- If you say so... As I was saying, I've come to say a prayer but I think you can tell I'm not used to that so I really could use your help.

Miles joined hands with Jada, surprising her, he closed his eyes and then started, in a low voice.

\- Dear God, I only know how to do this because I've seen Austin doing it a few times. I'm only 'ere to ask you to protect this woman right next to me because she's evil and deserves to die so if she ever crosses my way, again, I'll happily put a bullet on her.

He felt Jada trying to pull her hand away so he tightened his grip at the same time he put his free hand in the internal pocket of his jacket.

\- She killed my wife's father and thought she would get away with it but I quickly noticed something was off about the way she was behaving. I went ahead and did some snooping that led me to do something quite... definitive. And I would like to thank you, God, for putting me in Suki's way because she is very well protected, now, and _no one_ will _ever_ get to her and Austin, and if they try then they'll be meeting you very soon. Oh, and would you tell me something, God? I mean, I'm so curious... did Joseph make his way into Heaven, yet?

Miles could hear when Jada gasped. He opened his eyes and turned his head looked at her, their fingers still entwined.

He put the needles, still covered in blood and flesh, in her hand.

\- Or did he go to Hell? I think it suits him more. But don't worry, Jada, you'll be meeting up with him very soon if you don't disappear from our lives. And don't you dare taking a single penny of Norman's money with you or you would be forcing me to do something _definitive_ to you, too. I'm already being too kind, sparing your life.

He finally let go of her fingers. Jada got up and started taking steps back, a shocked expression painted all over her face, on the verge of tears. She threw the needles on the floor but kept her hand open, as if she had lost the capacity of moving it.

\- Amen. - Miles whispered, following her with his eyes as she stumbled on her own feet and finally disappeared through the church's large door, crying out loud. - Well, well. - Miles got up, adjusting his clothes, dusting off his knees. He walked towards the altar. - It was a good talk.

He fished another cigarette and lit it up on the flame of one of the candles, melting away by the right side of a holy statue.

—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-

\- Ready to go? - Miles asked Suki as they waited on the line to get in the ship that was going to take them back home.   
\- Yeah. - Suki said, looking back for a moment before turning her attention back at Miles. - My heart is at peace, now.   
\- Glad to know that.

Suki nodded.

\- And this whole trip drained me too much. All I seemed to do was sleep. Always too tired.  
\- I hope you catch some sleep on the ship, then. - Miles said. He was still feeling guilty, deep down in his heart.   
\- But no weird cachets this time, I promise.  
\- Please. - The curves of Miles' mouth went up a tiny bit. - I'll check up on you every morning when I think you're up, already.   
\- You don't have to stay in another room if you don't want to. I think it's going to be better if we stayed together on the trip back home. But it's up to you, really.   
\- It's whatever to me so, yeah, we're staying together, then.  
\- Alright. - Suki sighed. - I just want to get back home, already. I miss Austin so much. I wanna hug him and kiss him all over.  
\- I miss him, too. We'll be home soon, don't worry. Well, of course we would get home a bit faster if we were traveling by plane, but...  
\- I'm never getting in one of those things. Forget about it! - Suki shook her head.

Miles laughed.

It was their turn to embark.

The trip back to America was going good, so far. Suki seemed to be in a better mood, even though sometimes Miles would still find her staring at the thin air.

And from time to time, Miles would get lost in his thoughts, himself.

_How am I going to get rid of those italian suits I bought?_

The day Miles went to "meet" Jada, for what he wanted to be the last time in his life, he told Suki he would go out to buy some suits he had seen and liked.

He went back to the hotel with two suits that didn't even fit him just so Suki wouldn't suspect anything.

_I'm tired of lying._

\- Everything alright? - Suki asked, putting her book down. - It's been like, an hour since you last moved.  
\- Yeah, I was just thinking. Like... - Miles adjusted his posture on his chair. - Imagine if you had to lie to a friend because you are afraid you would hurt them. Would you keep on lying or would you risk it losing them but telling them the truth?  
\- That's a good question. - Suki closed the book. - I don't know... I mean, I always aim at the truth but if it's something that would _really_ hurt them, maybe I wouldn't tell them the truth all at once. Maybe I'd be... preparing them for that.  
\- But you would still tell them.  
\- Yes, I would tell them.   
\- No doubt about that?  
\- No doubt. No.   
\- A'ight.

Miles swallowed hard.

\- But what is up with all of these questions?  
\- I think Alexa's been hiding something from me.

_Another lie._

_-_ But please, don't tell her anything. I don't think it is something serious but at the same time I don't understand why she wouldn't tell me.  
\- I won't tell her anything. She is as much as my friend as you are so I would never betray any of you. I'm out of this matter.   
\- Thank you.   
\- Anytime.

Suki opened her book, again.

Miles got up from his chair and walked towards the window. Then he went to look for something in his luggage.

\- I'm going outside for some fresh air. - Miles kissed the top of Suki's head.  
\- It's cold, grab your coat. - She said, not looking away from her book.  
\- True. - Miles put his coat on. - Don't wait up.

Walking around the ship, Miles found a less crowded spot and thought that was a good place to think.

He lit up a cigarette.

_\- Watch your tongue, Miles. Sometimes I'm afraid you'll spill the beans._   
_\- I know what I'm doing, Alex._   
_\- No. No, you don't. You can't tell any of them, anything, ever! I've never told Alexa anything and she's my wife! You can't just trust someone you've met months ago._   
_\- But I wouldn't tell her anything regarding all of us here._   
_\- Look. - Alex put his hand on Miles' shoulder. - If any of your girls ever put us, as in Jamie, Matt, Nick and I, in danger, they will end up dead. Don't say I didn't warn you._

_-_ There'sno you or Jamie or Nick or Matt, anymore. The only person I'm lying to is Suki and I... I don't want to keep on lying to her. At least not about small stuff because I can't tell her I found needles on... I can't.

Miles took Lil's notebook out of his pocket.

He flipped through the pages, again.

 _baby??_?

And, at that very moment, it was like if Miles had felt one of the pyres burning inside of him go out. He turned around to go back inside but he had barely taken two steps when he turned around again and threw the notebook over the ship's edge, in the sea.

\- It ends here. Those days end here.


	10. 1899

And once again Miles' wedding band ended up in his pocket.

He would always do that every time he'd walk in somewhere he thought there could some acquaintances of his. He didn't want someone from out of town to know he was married when he was going to meet up with someone because he feared that that information could spread and be used against him, somehow.

And also because to the girls of the cabaret it didn't make a difference if he would show them the ring or not; they wouldn't just give up that easily.

Miles adjusted his clothes and got in.

Since he wasn't a businessman anymore, Miles didn't really have a way of buying alcohol but he really needed a drink, that night, so that place was his best option. Of course he could've just suggested a speakeasy but he was aiming to flip the police off the biggest way he could.

He ordered some whiskey, lit up a cigarette and adjusted his posture on the chair when a girl inadvertently sat on his lap.

\- What is it gonna be tonight, handsome? - She asked, playing with the buttons of his shirt.

He just looked at her for a moment.

_What the hell, right?_

\- Nothing for now but maybe I'll want to see you by the end of the night. - He replied.

The lady raised her brows at him, surprised, since he had almost always turned all the girls down.

\- ...really?

Miles just raised his drink in response.

\- I'll be waiting for you. - She said, slowly getting up to leave.

A few minutes later, another man joined Miles at his table.

\- What's so urgent that we had to meet _here_? - Miles asked Rolf.  
\- I finally got you the information you wanted.  
\- Oh, really? I thought it was gonna take longer... I mean, maybe _eight_ years wasn't time enough.   
\- Very funny.  
\- I'm messing.  
\- Here's the woman's name. - Rolf said, placing a piece of paper on the table and putting his glass on top of it.   
\- Thank you. I mean it. - Miles said and looked the other way.

Rolf gave it a few moments and then got up and went back to the bar, to be soon surrounded by women.

Miles reached for Rolf's glass and unfolded the paper.

**1899, New York City**

_Padre Nostro chi sei in celi_   
_sia santificato il tuo nome_   
_venga il tuo regno_   
_sia fatta la tua volontà_   
_come in celo cosi in terra_

\- Stai zitto, figliolo. Per favore, silenzio.

Teresa Capone was trying to hide with her other three sons and newborn baby in her arms. Police had invaded the italian community in New York to look for some guys and arrest as many illegal immigrants as they could, as well.

It was a rainy Tuesday morning, the city was alive as always. Everyone seemed to be minding their businesses and not being empathetic towards each other, as usual.

\- Ci troveranno, mamma. - Raffaele cried.  
\- Stai zitto, Raffaele! - James Vincenzo whispered, putting his hand over his brother's mouth.  
\- Non lascerò che ci prendano, non ti preoccupare. - Teresa whispered to her sons. Alphonse still crying in her arm. - Non mollare la mano di Salvatore, Vincenzo.  
\- Non lo farò. - Vincenzo replied.

She was rocking the baby in her arms.

_Per favore Dio. Proteggi i miei figli._

The sound of heels rhythmically touching the ground could be heard approaching the spot the small family was trying to hold on to their last hopes of staying in America and living a better life. 

The heels stopped.

The woman was looking from Teresa, to her baby, to Salvatore, to Raffaele to Vincenzo to Teresa, again.

The rain was falling on her umbrella, producing a delicate sound.

They just stood there, looking at each other, frozen, for what it seemed to be a million years.

The woman walked past that family and stopped at the corner of the street, she looked from one side to another and then approached Teresa and gave her the umbrella.

\- I'm gonna take you somewhere safe. - She looked into Teresa's eyes and nodded.   
\- Cosa ella dicendo, Vincenzo? - Teresa asked her son.   
\- Ella detto che ci porterà in un posto sicuro, mamma.   
\- Chiedile chi è lei.   
\- She asks who you are. - The boy said.  
\- Tell her I am a friend.

Vincenzo translated that information to his mother.

Teresa nodded at the woman. She was shaking, cold.

\- Alright. Follow me.

Teresa grabbed Raffaele's hand and the woman grabbed Vincenzo's hand and carried the small Salvatore on her arm.

They walked as fast as possible and then stopped in front of a house. The woman unlocked the door and told everyone to get in.

The woman disappeared to another room and came back shortly, carrying some towels. She was soaking wet herself.

\- My name is Harriet. _Hattie_ for short. - She told Teresa, handing her a towel so she could dry her baby and herself. - You are safe, here. This is my house.   
\- I am Teresa. Thank you.

Hattie helped the boys to dry themselves and told them to sit by the fire. She made hot drinks for everyone.

\- What happened? - Hattie asked Vincenzo so he could ask his mother.  
\- The police. - The boy promptly answered.   
\- Of course, you're Italian. But you are safe here. - Hattie said, looking at Teresa. - What are your brother's names?   
\- I am Vincenzo, he is Raffaele and that one is Salvatore. The baby is Alphonse.   
\- Nice to meet you all. - Hattie meant to shake Vincenzo's little hand.

They heard keys jingling in the main hall.

\- It's just my husband. - Hattie told everyone, calming them down. She got up and walked towards the sound of the keys. - Darling?

Low voices could be heard, Hattie and her husband weren't whispering but the words they were speaking couldn't be distinguished either, so Teresa didn't have any clues about how the man would react when his wife would tell him she was sheltering a bunch of illegal Italian people.

Teresa followed with her eyes as a man slowly walked into the room, taking his hat off.

\- That's Teresa. - Hattie started to make the introductions. - And that's Vincenzo, our official translator, Salvatore, Raffaele and the little one is called Alphonse. - She finished.  
\- I'm Lyle. Nice to meet you all. - The man nodded at the family. - Welcome to our home.   
\- Vincenzo, could you please tell your mother that Lyle and I agreed that you guys can stay here tonight? If you need to, I mean.

Vincenzo nodded at Hattie and translated her line to his mother.

\- She says thank you. And asks why are you being nice to us. - The boy said, again.

Hattie approached Teresa and crouched near her.

\- I couldn't leave you all out there in the rain. I actually don't think it's right how the police chases and arrests immigrants just because they came to America to try to change their lives. - She smiled a tiny smile at Teresa. - This country is for everyone.  
\- Thank you. - Teresa said and nodded at Hattie as soon as Vincenzo finished translating.  
\- Are there any of you still out there? - Lyle asked Vincenzo. - Any relatives?  
\- My _padre_ is working.  
\- Does he know you guys ran away, this morning?

Vincenzo asked his mother about that.

\- No. _Mamma_ is saying he doesn't know. But he is fine because he is not coming back home until nighttime so the police is not going to be there anymore.  
\- Alright, that is good news, then.

Someone was banging at their door.

\- _Mr. Sterling, open up! This is the police_!

Lyle and Hattie exchanged a look, she looked around for a moment then put a finger over her lips and asked everyone to follow her as silently as possible.

\- _Mr. Sterling_!   
\- I'm coming! - Lyle shouted.

Hattie hid the family inside the coat's wardrobe, under the staircase. It was small but it did fit everyone.

\- I'll come back in a minute. Please, be quiet.

At the door, Lyle could be heard denying he had ever seen any italians, that day.

\- Are you sure? - The policeman asked. - Because some witnesses told us your wif—  
\- What is taking you so long, honey? - Hattie asked, approaching Lyle from behind.

She had unbuttoned some buttons of her blouse and messed her hair up a bit.

\- Oh, officer. I'm sorry but if you're not gonna need my husband any longer I'd like to have him back upstairs.   
\- Where's your composure, m'am!?  
\- You're n— Lyle started to say to the officer but was interrupted by Hattie.  
\- Leave it, darling. Well, officer. I only need my composure when I step outside the front door of my house, from this very door back inside, I can be whoever I want to be and since I'm still inside my house, as we speak, I could be naked if I wanted to.

The officer gasped and put on an annoyed expression. It was true and he knew he couldn't do anything about that.

\- But well, are you gonna need my Lyle any longer?   
\- No. - The officer looked at Lyle's face, again. - But if I find out you're lying, I'm gonna arrest the both of you. Be warned.

Lyle closed the door as soon as the officer left.

\- What was that? - Lyle asked, with half a baffled expression and half a playful expression.  
\- I thought it was best to confuse him. You know people hate intimacy.   
\- He could've arrested you.  
\- I know. But I wouldn't spend more than one night in jail, anyway. - Hattie said, adjusting her clothes and combing her hair with her fingers. - I couldn't let him take them. It's a mother with four children, what do you think they would do to them?  
\- Separate them, I know. Thank you for thinking about something so fast.

Lyle followed Hattie as she walked towards the staircase.

\- They're gone. - She said, looking at the four apprehensive — and one sleepy — faces.

And from that improbable situation a friendship was born. Lyle helped Gabriele Capone buy a new house and move to a better area of town with his wife and children. And even though Lyle tried to convince Gabriele to become a stock trader, too, the man said that what he really liked to do was cutting hair and that his father had also been a barber, so that was his destiny, too.

Teresa grew fond of Hattie and Hattie loved all the Capone boys as if they were her own.

\- I can't wait to have a baby of my own. - She would tell Teresa almost every time she got to carry Alphonse in her arms.   
\- Very soon.   
\- I see you're progressing with your English, I'm very happy about that, by the way. - Hattie would always speak with pauses so Teresa could understand her.  
\- You are a good teacher.

Hattie would just smile shyly at any compliments.

Alphonse's first birthday was coming up and Teresa wanted him to be baptized before that. Hattie was chosen to be the boy's godmother. And despite photographs being really expensive at the time, Hattie and Lyle gave Teresa and Gabriele a shoot with three photographs.

\- I love your necklace. It's very beautiful.   
\- Thank you. It was a birthday gift from Lyle. - Hattie looked away at her husband, for a second.

They posed for the camera.

It was like the Capones and the Sterlings were a big family.

And then two years later the things were not that good for Lyle at the stock market, anymore.

\- I'm heartbroken, too. We thought of everything so we wouldn't have to move away but Florida is really our best option, now.  
\- Oh, dear. - Teresa hugged Hattie. Her eyes filled with tears.  
\- Please don't go away, aunt Hat. - Raffaele begged, jumping on her lap.  
\- I'm sorry, my love. - Hattie stroked the boy's hair. - But I promise I'll come back to see you as soon as I can, alright? All of you.

Hattie and Lyle moved to Florida in January of 1901. On February Hattie found out she was pregnant. Lyle started to get back on his feet, financially, on March.

As promised, she kept in touch with the Capones until October of that same year. Then Hattie's letters to Teresa would just come back in the mail and she didn't know why.

Her baby was born in November.

A girl.

Hattie, Lyle and their baby daughter, Lillian, were happy and healthy. Both Lyle and Hattie tried to contact the Capones a few more times but it seemed like they were... hiding for some reason and then the couple didn't hear from them again.

At least not until five years later, in 1906.

Hattie was coming back home from Lillian' school, walking hand in hand with the little girl. She stopped by their mailbox and grabbed all the mail.

Amongst some bills there was a letter from Teresa. But the envelope was all wet and the ink was all blurred, the words couldn't be read.

Hattie wrote another letter to Teresa, telling her how happy she was that the woman had gotten in touch with her, again, even though the letter couldn't be read. Telling the Capones that the Sterlings were waiting for them to pay them a visit in Miami whenever they could and that the costs could be covered, if necessary.

Hattie just wanted to see her boys, again. Hug everyone.

But the letter never got to Teresa.  
And it also wasn't Teresa who sent Hattie that last letter.

And then, two weeks after penning those last words to the Capones, Hattie and Lyle "vanished", never to be seen again.

Their five year old daughter in the world by her own.

**Present time**

\- But this is... no, it's not possible. - Miles diverted his eyes to Rolf, at the bar. - No, it can be. I'm sure he got it wrong. It can't be. Too many coincidences. Real life doesn't have this many coincidences.

Miles doesn't know how he got home, that night. It was a thing that had happened to him just one time before, and he hated to lose his body to his mind like that. To realize he had been walking after he had already walked several miles.

When Miles stepped on the porch of his home, his head was pounding. He walked in, trying to make the sound of his shoes slapping the floor to echo as less as possible.

Suki was sleeping peacefully on her side of the bed, hugging her small pillow, as usual. She would tell Miles that it was a habit she acquired some days after Austin was born and ever since she couldn't sleep well without that pillow, anymore.

Miles walked into the bathroom in his bedroom and closed the door behind him. He grabbed his medicine bottle and took the usual three cachets.

His heart was beating strong, pounding in his ears. He was sweating.

 _Overwhelmed_.

\- You need to focus. - He whispered to himself as he laid down on the floor and closed his eyes. The cool tiles would help him to calm down, or so he thought. - This is a practical joke. That's it, that's what's 'appening. Somehow Rolf found out about Lil's parents' disappearing act and decided to pull a prank on you. This is not possible, it is not possible that the woman on the picture, wearing the same je— a similar jewel! It can't be the same jewel, that woman can't be Lil's mother! It's just someone with the same name.

Miles got up, again. Pressing his fingers on his eyes.

\- Go to sleep, Miles. Tomorrow you'll wake up and you'll see all of this isn't real.

Three more cachets so he would be able to fall asleep a bit faster.

Five minutes later Miles was now in his bed, staring at the ceiling, pattering his fingers on his stomach, over the fabric of his shirt.

He sighed heavily.

Suki moved.

_Please, don't wake up._

She didn't wake up.

 _What am I supposed to do with this information, now? I thought I could find out who was that woman and maybe get something to get to Al Capone but... Harriet James Sterling has been missing for twenty-six years. And of course, if she was alive Lil wouldn't have ended up in a convent and then married to that man and then she wouldn't have met me. She would have had a family, a real family. We would have never crossed paths and she would be alive, now. Somewhere in the world, she would be safe and sound. If only... -_ Miles turned his head to look at Suki. _\- she hadn't met me. I was, too, the end of her life._

His eyes started to feel heavy.

\- I don't wanna dream of her.

With a mental sigh, Miles got off the bed and went to sit on the floor, by the living room windows.

_You shouldn't have taken any cachets you fucking twat. ...but it's ok, I just have to fight back a little bit, it's not that hard._

_It's nothing compared to what I've been through._

Miles lit up a cigarette indoors for the first time in eight years. His eyes started to follow the swift swaying of the curtain's light fabric, filtering the moonlight and painting everything silver.

In his head, a song started to play and it almost made its way to his lips. _Almost_. His eyes moved to the, practically abandoned, keyboard.

\- We still 'ave ties to be cut off. - He murmured. - Not for much longer, now... I once thought all I had to do next was because of you, to avenge you so my fury could be justified, the bullets could weigh a little less, but the truth is that you've been reaving my peace since the minute you died. I don't want it.

For the next hours, Miles just kept looking at the sky, out the window. The stars have always been one of his passions.

The clouds were slowly moving like they were dancing in order to merge into each other and become even bigger. It wasn't until the Sun was really in the sky that Miles — and his tired eyes — got up from the floor and out the backdoor of the house, for another smoke.

By now Suki had woken up and just walked into the kitchen to make breakfast for Austin before waking him up so he could eat and go to school.

She was humming some random song and slicing some bread when Miles, sleepy as he was, bumped into the wall and cursed, just behind her.

\- Whoa! - He put his hands up when Suki pointed the knife at him. - It's me!  
\- Why are you always startling me!? My God I thought it could be a burglar or something! - She sighed. - Why are you coming home through the backdoor?  
\- No, I'm not coming home just now. I got home last night but couldn't sleep so I just sat by the window all night. I'm wearing my pajamas, see? - Miles opened his jacket so Suki could really see what he was talking about.  
\- Everything alright? - She asked.

Miles just looked at her for a second, trying to decide if he should just lie to her, again.

\- No. Not, actually. But I don't want to drag you, of all people, into it. I'm sorry.

_Being honest doesn't hurt, see?_

\- Let me know if I can help you with anything else, then.  
\- Will do. Thank you.   
\- Alright. Grab a chair, I'll make you some coffee. You look awful. - Suki said, turning around to resume her bread slicing.  
\- No, don't worry. I'll make—  
\- Don't you _dare_ to touch my brand new Chinese coffee pot.

Miles scoffed.

\- Since I don't wanna die, today, I won't fight you on that. - He yawned.  
\- Very good.

They stayed silent for a while.

\- I got another letter, yesterday. Jada.   
\- Oh, really? - Miles asked, squinting his eyes at his mental image of Jada.  
\- Yes. And I am one hundred percent confused. - She said, turning around, again.  
\- Put the knife away, you scare me. - Miles joked.

Suki put the knife on the counter but didn't follow Miles' joke. It seemed like she was really thinking about something else.

\- This time she wrote me to tell me the lawyers found another will and that my dad actually left everything to me. I mean, all the money, all the houses... everything. I don't get it.   
\- What is it that you don't get?   
\- Jada had told us my father was upset at me, I know it is a lie but it made more sense since he had left everything to Jada. I mean, you know the money isn't what I care about.  
\- Yes. You have the restaurant.  
\- Exactly. But then why would he just write another will after that? And why did the lawyers just found about it now?   
\- Maybe Jada hid it from them? I don't know. She hates you, she would do anything to fuck you up.

_But I do happen to know perfectly well why this is happening._

\- All I can see now is that you've been right all along. Of course I already knew that but maybe this gets to your heart, the fact that your father had never been upset at you. He loved you very much. - Miles finished his line.  
\- Yeah, I... Anyway, she wrote me to let me know she was moving back to Calgary and wishes to never see me again. What is actually wonderful because she is just the worst woman on Earth.   
\- I agree. Well, good riddance. Now _we_ won't have to see _her_ ever again. Are you gonna need to go back to Italy to sort anything out?   
\- No, not really. I'll write to dad's lawyers and I'll tell them to arrange the Puglia house' sale. I'll think about the other two houses later.  
\- You're really gonna sell it?  
\- Yes... It's not like I'm gonna need it, anyway. - Suki said as she finished putting together two sandwiches for Austin. Now it was time to wake him up.  
\- Are you sure? - Miles asked, a bit uncertain.  
\- I think so. I guess... Why?  
\- Well, since we came back from Puglia, two months ago, I've... been thinking...

Miles stopped and Suki raised her brows at him, like she was saying "and?".

\- Yeah, I've been thinking. What if we move?  
\- Move? Where? Why? - Suki asked, sitting on a chair, in front of Miles.  
\- I was gonna suggest we would go to North Ireland or Scotland. Somewhere closer to home. Leave all of this behind.   
\- You told me, when we started to think what to do regarding Austin's bedroom because he was four, that you could never move out of this house. So I ask you; why now?  
\- I'm tired of this life I'm living. - Miles said and Suki cocked her head to the side a bit, surprised. He noticed and then hurried off to complement. - No, it's not _our family_ , don't worry.

And when Miles was about to explain, Austin walked into the kitchen, too.

\- Good morning. - The boy said, scratching his hair.   
\- Good morning, my love. - Suki said, getting up and hugging her son. - Did you sleep well? I was just going to wake you up.  
\- Yeah. I feel rested.  
\- Very good. Sit down to eat. - Suki clapped her hands twice real quick. - For today's menu we have sandwiches, orange juice and a bit of love. - She said, pushing the plate and a glass towards Austin. He smiled at her.  
\- Thank you, mom.   
\- I'll walk you to school, today. - Miles said, stealing a bite of his son' sandwich. Suki slapped his hand.   
\- Are you alright, dad? - Austin asked, _really_ paying attention to his father, now.   
\- Yeah. Why?  
\- You look tired. - The boy said, right before taking a sip on his juice.  
\- He looks awful. - Suki mocked Miles, resting her hands on her waist.   
\- I'm being bullied by my own family. - Miles shook his head.

Suki laughed.

\- I'm alright. - He told Austin, again. - Just a bit tired but I'll take a nap as soon as possible.   
\- Right. - Austin nodded. - Oh, dad, can you help me with a school project, when I come back? It's due on Friday.   
\- Of course! What do you need?  
\- It's the family tree, I still need to fill in some blanks. I'm done with mom' side but your has just you and grandma.   
\- I see. Uh, yeah, we'll talk about it when you come back. Meanwhile I gotta 'ave a talk with your mother.  
\- Are you fighting?   
\- Why would we be fighting? - Suki asked, she was now pouring Miles' coffee into his favourite mug.   
\- Eve told us her parents had sent her to her grandma's house so they could talk but she thinks they were actually fighting.   
\- Maybe they are. - Miles said. - But pay attention to this. Suki?  
\- Yeah? - She replied, putting the mug in front of Miles.   
\- Thank you. Well, how many times did we fight since we got married?  
\- None. - Suki answered, looking into Austin's eyes. - We don't fight.  
\- See? - Miles asked his son. - The talk your mother and I are gonna have is a friends talk. I'm gonna tell her all about my thoughts, my ideas, and she is going to tell me what she thinks of 'em.   
\- Why?   
\- So we will know what to do next. That's how adults make choices. - Suki explained.  
\- Mhm...   
\- But hurry up because you still have to take a shower before you leave. - Suki added.  
\- Oh, no.   
\- I beg your pardon? - She rested her hands on her waist, again.   
\- I'm going. - Austin said, finishing off his juice and disappearing to the next room.  
\- I still can't believe we're trying to shape a man. - Suki said, looking at Miles.  
\- I know. But I think we're doing a good job, don't worry. Well, - He took a last sip on his coffee. - I'm gonna change my clothes, be right back.

_My God, I do look like shit._

Miles thought when he looked at himself into the mirror. He washed his face and brushed his teeth, ran his fingers over his beard. Changed his clothes.

_You're old._

_Old enough to sort your shit out._

\- Austin? - He called from the kitchen, again.   
\- _I'm coming_!   
\- I'll just drop him off and come back home. - He was talking to Suki, now.   
\- Are you sure you're driving?   
\- I... yeah, you're right. I'll take longer to come back, then.  
\- No rush, I won't run away while you're out.   
\- I wouldn't be surprised if you would. - Miles smiled a tiny bit.   
\- _I'm ready_! - Austin yelled from the living room.  
\- See you later. - Miles told Suki. She just nodded at him.

The path to Austin' school always seemed to be longer than the way back home.

It's not that Miles was in a rush, no. But he just wanted to tell Suki everything he thought he _had_ to say to her so his brain could give him a break and stop repeating thoughts over and over.

\- I'll come pick you up, later. - Miles told Austin, kissing the top of his head on the right side.   
\- Oh, no need, dad. I'm going to aunt Alexa's house, today, remember? With Aiden.   
\- Oh, Wednesday. Yeah, right. A'ight. Phone your mother when you get to Alexa's 'ouse.   
\- Will do.  
\- A'ight. 'ave a good day.

Austin ran away and into the school as Miles watched him disappear amongst all the other children.

The Sun was up in the sky and the day seemed to be hotter than usual. Or maybe it was just Miles' altered perception of things since that happened every time he'd take more cachets than he usually did or when didn't take any. The colours would seem more vivid, the light would seem much more brighter, his feet would touch the floor with a bit of uncertainty.

But Miles got home, eventually.

\- I'm back! - He announced, as soon as he walked in the front door.   
\- _I'm here! -_ Suki yelled from Austin's bedroom.   
\- I'm in the living room.   
\- _Alright, be with you in a minute._

Miles took his shoes off and put them by the same sofa he sat on. Then he decided to take one of his shirts off, as well, leaving just hist his sleeveless white shirt.

\- What's this? - Miles asked Suki, at the same time he was being handed a saucer with a teacup on it.   
\- Camomile tea with honey. It will help you sleep. I don't know what's happening but I can see you're trying to stay awake and _we both_ know how you get when that happens.  
\- Yes. Thank you.  
\- So, - She started to say, sitting on the opposite couch. - where were we?   
\- I was suggesting we would move.   
\- You said you're tired of the life you're living.  
\- Yes. About that, - He put the saucer on the coffee table and crossed his fingers. - I mean, I promised you I wouldn't go after Kazuya, and I didn't, so there's that. But that doesn't mean I've been just sitting on my arse all these years. I've actually been looking for something I could use against him, a way to free Kayoko, as well. A way to free her so _she_ could kill him. - Miles looked into Suki's eyes.

She had an expression he couldn't read.

It was like she was just paying attention to him but he knew there was something else.

\- And I might be getting close to that. I had this in mind since the day I asked you to teach me japanese. When I felt confident enough I started to make connections with some guys around here that 'ave links to some people in Japan. Well, in fact, I don't want to _free_ Kayoko _just_ so she could kill Kazuya. I want to free her. Period. What she is going to do next is none of my business. Now moving on to something I just found out yesterday. I've told you about a man called Al Capone, before, didn't I?   
\- Yes.  
\- He had everyone killed. All of my friends.   
\- I know, you told me that.  
\- Do you remember Rolf?   
\- Yes.  
\- He is actually my cousin. And he works for Capone. A few weeks before you and I got married, Rolf came to see me here. He sat on this very couch you're sitting on and I showed him _her_ picture on my locket. I don't know if you remember that in the picture, she is wearing a necklace.   
\- No, I can't say I do.   
\- Well, she is. And when I showed Rolf the picture he commented Capone had a picture in his office. A picture of Capone, his mother and a woman. The woman was wearing the same necklace _she_ is wearing in the picture on my locket.  
\- Can I ask you something?  
\- Of course.  
\- Why don't you call her by her name? - Suki asked.

Miles just stopped.

He hadn't noticed he had been referring to Lil only as "she" and "her".

\- I don't know. - He replied, shaking his head.  
\- It almost feels like you're scared of her.   
\- I... I just...  
\- Go on.   
\- Well... uhm... Rolf dug up the woman's name and it turns out she is Harriet Sterling. I am almost sure she was Lillian's mother.   
\- How's that possible?  
\- I don't know. Harriet and Lyle Sterling went missing twenty-six years ago. I can't see any connections. I don't understand. I don't understand how, if it is really her, the Capones and the Sterlings got to know each other. What was Harriet's role. Why she would pose for a picture with Alphonse and his mother. My mind is just racing but I don't seem to get any answers.   
\- How are you gonna make sure it is really Lillian's mother?  
\- I'll 'ave to ask. I'll 'ave to ask him.   
\- Miles, you can't. You promised you wouldn't put Austin in danger.   
\- Alphonse is about to be arrested. The police is getting closer and closer to him, I know because I'm helping them with it. It's actually my last job before they let me go. Once he is in jail I could just ask. Lie to him that there was someone from the police, an agent in disguise on his "team".  
\- Lie. To that man. Right.  
\- I 'ave no desire of being honest with him.   
\- I hope he has no desire of killing you when he finds out your cousin's been a double agent.  
\- He won't find out.

Suki closed her eyes for a second.

\- And since that is my last job before they let me go, when that happens I'd like us to move cities. Once I get all my answers I'd like us to go away.   
\- Why now?  
\- Because I'm done being stuck here with _her_ on my mind all the time. Every time I'm happy I look around and I see something that reminds me of her, of them, and then I start to feel guilty about being happy. When we were on the ship to Italy I was talking to the guys and I realized that for the first time I wasn't feeling guilty about everything that happened. It was never my fault.   
\- What guys?  
\- Uh... I... There were these Italian guys on the deck and we kind of became friends. They asked what was my job and I told them and they were surprised I had the money to be in the first class and... well, I told them about the band and everything. And it was when I was talking about the band that I realized nothing is my fault. I wanted us to move so I could really start over with my life.   
\- Why Puglia?   
\- Why not Puglia?  
\- What about Alexa and Aiden?  
\- I'll always be there for them. Alexa is back on her feet for some years, now. I know she will understand. Aiden is a good kid, he's growing up fine. It's time I look at myself, now. I know it's going to be a bit hard for Austin, to go somewhere he has no friends but it's also going to be good for him to find new friends.  
\- You really want to move away.

Suki _stated_.

\- Yes. I'd really like you to consider it. I know you 'ave deep roots 'ere. All of your friends and the restaurant. But, please. Think about it.   
\- You have never asked anything from me in all these years. If you want us to move, we'll move. I used to be around the world, before we met, anyway.   
\- Thank you. - Miles nodded and smile a tiny smile at Suki.  
\- Just think if it's really to Puglia you want to go. We could go to Greece or Belize, as well, since the other homes are there.   
\- I'll think about it.   
\- I hope this works for us.   
\- I feel it is going to.

Miles got up from his place and invited Suki into an embrace.

They hugged and he swore he would have cried from relief if someone hadn't started to knock on the main door of their home.

\- I'll get it. - Suki whispered before walking away from Miles.

Miles grabbed his teacup from the coffee table, again. He was feeling really sleepy, by now.

_I'm not invincible, after all._

_-_ What do you want _again_? - Suki asked, irritated.   
\- Good morning to you, too, Mrs. Kane. I'd like to speak to Mr. Kane.  
\- By "speak" you mean give him orders so he will end up amongst flying bullets. - Se complained, stepping aside so the policeman could walk in. - He's in the living room.

She slammed the door behind the policeman and went away to some other part of the house.

\- Oh, what's wrong now? - Miles asked as soon as officer Locke approached him in the living room.   
\- Does nobody greet nobody with "good morning" anymore?   
\- I do, with a few exceptions. Please, sit down. Coffee?  
\- No, thank you.   
\- A'ight.   
\- I came here to give you your next mission.  
\- My next what? I thought the deal was one month in and one out.   
\- It is. _With a few exceptions_. - Locke said, putting a file on the coffee table and pushing it towards Miles. - It leaves tomorrow afternoon.

Miles grabbed the file and opened it.

\- Why do you need _me_ to escort this train?   
\- Some valuable, very valuable, paintings will be shipped to Nebraska, tomorrow and we need you in this train in case it breaks down along the way.  
\- You can send any other mechanic, then. - Miles closed the file and threw it on the coffee table, again.  
\- It has to be you.  
\- Why?  
\- Because you work with us and since the owner of this cargo asked _the police_ to make sure everything is going to be fine along the way, we decided you're the one who has to be in the train.  
\- _You_ decided that, without consulting me.   
\- You have no choice. Don't forget you're nothing but an outlaw and you're only free because we agreed you could be. If we change our minds you go back to jail and you'll die there. I trust you keep that in mind at all times.

Miles was clenching his teeth.

\- The train leaves by 2pm. Don't be late.

He accompanied the officer to the door and rested his forehead against it as soon as Locke was gone.

_This will come to an end. Just a few more months, now. Be patient._

_-_ Where is the shooting they're sending you, this time? - Suki asked. She had her arms crossed in front of her body and an annoyed expression on her face.  
\- They need me to escort some train to Nebraska. No big deal.

_No big deal._

——————————————————————

\- Did you get everything? - Suki asked Miles at the same time she was adjusting the knot of his tie, by the door.   
\- I think so, yeah. It's just a few days, anyway. I'll be back soon.   
\- Yeah.   
\- I'll phone home as soon as I get to Lincoln.   
\- Please. Please do.  
\- Are you ok? - Miles asked upon noticing Suki had been biting her lower lip nervously.  
\- Yeah, I just... I don't know, don't go. - She said, at last.   
\- I can't not go.   
\- I know but I'm having this kind of... bad feeling, I can't explain. It has never happened before.   
\- It's gonna be ok. I promise. - Miles told her, kissing her forehead.   
\- I hope so. - She sighed.  
\- A'ight, so I'm leaving. Give Austin a kiss for me when he gets home.  
\- Will do. Take care, Miles.  
\- You too, dear. And if there's an emergency...  
\- I know what to do. - She nodded at Miles.

Suki watched as Miles' car disappeared in the distance.

—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-

\- What are we still waiting for? - Miles asked the train conductor once they were still at the train station half an hour past the time they should have left.   
\- We're leaving in five.  
\- You've been saying that for the past hour.  
\- No, we're really leaving this time.   
\- Thank fuck.  
\- Why are you in such a hurry, though?   
\- I want to get it over with and go back home to my wife and kid, is it enough to justify the rush?  
\- It's not like thirty minutes are gonna make a huge difference. - The conductor said, starting the procedures to get the train going.

In the train there was just the conductor, Miles, six police officers and three men representing the buyer of the paintings.

Several hours later the train was now getting to Montgomery, Alabama. The trip was going good so far and Miles was taking a nap when the train came to a halt, throwing the sleeping man out of his seat.

\- What the fuck was that? - Miles asked when the police officers went running past him.

\- _Assume your positions! -_ Someone yelled from the back of the train.   
\- What is going on? - Miles started to run to front of the train so he could find someone to tell him was happening.

Bullets started to pierce the train wooden walls and Miles threw himself on the floor. He started to crawl until he reached the conductor's cabin.

\- What the Hell? - He asked the man which arm had been pierced by a bullet.

Miles took his tie off and made a tourniquet around the conductor's arm.

\- Fucking Hell, this hurts.   
\- Tell me about it. - Miles said, trying to see anything that was happening outside, through the window. - Why don't they just give them the fucking paintings?  
\- Paintings? - The conductor asked Miles.  
\- Yeah, the paintings. The paintings on this train?   
\- We're not... carrying any paintings. We're carrying machine guns.  
\- What!?   
\- It's a load of machine guns.  
\- FUCKING HELL! - Miles yelled angrily when he realized he had been played. - Of course, of course! That's why they needed _me,_ not just any mechanic.  
\- What do you mean?   
\- I'm a fucking killer! I used to rob and kill people for a living! - Miles took a deep breath before continuing. - A'ight, so we have a bunch of guns. _Machine_ guns. Why don't they just load it and shoot those guys out there?  
\- There's no ammunition. We're carrying just the guns.  
\- WHY?   
\- In case we got robbed, as it's happening right now.   
\- The stupidity doesn't end. We need to get out of here. Come. - Miles put the conductor's good arm around his shoulder and helped him to get off the floor and out of the cabin. - Right, stay here, I'm going try to see if the path's clear so we can hop out and run into the woods.

Miles started to crawl, again, to the opposite end of the train. He went past the officers.

Two of them were dead on the train's floor.

\- You dumb fucks. - Miles said, under his breath.   
\- What the fuck are you doing? Come help us! - An officer told Miles.  
\- I want you all to fuck off and rot in Hell you motherfuckers! I get hold of a gun I'll shoot you in the fucking faces. If I knew we're carrying guns I would have warned you coming this way wouldn't work! Every goddamn criminal on Earth knows it!

Another officer was shot dead.

_You're staining my fucking clothes you fucking moron._

Miles continued to crawl.

He reached the other end of the train just before the bandits got into the train and killed everyone else who was left.

After staying quiet for a few moments, Miles managed to jump out of a window. There was nothing left to do to help the conductor.

He sprained his ankle on the landing.

\- AH! - He couldn't help the scream from coming out.

Miles started to run to the woods at the same time someone started to shoot at him.

He fell when a bullet went through his left calf.

And passed out.


	11. Unexpected

Suki woke up in the middle of the night.

The bad feeling around her heart had intensified.

She got off the bed and went to check on Austin, in his room, pulled the blankets over him. He was fine.

Her feet made their way to the porch and she lit up a cigarette. Sat down on the stairs of her home.

The telephone started to ring.

\- What? - She whispered to herself and hurried off back inside. But the ringing stopped before she could really grab the speaker.

She sat down on the sofa, by the telephone in case it rang again.

It didn't.

She fell asleep on the couch.

———————————————————————

\- Hi! - Rose greeted Suki when she approached her at the table at the Cafe.   
\- Hi, Ro. - She sat down and took her sunglasses off.  
\- I'm sorry, I ordered some coffee while I waited.  
\- It's alright. I'm sorry I'm late it's just that I didn't sleep very well.   
\- It's fine. Are you ok?   
\- Yes. It's just that Miles went on this trip, you know. I asked him to phone home when he got to Lincoln but he must have forgotten.   
\- More likely there was some delay along the way.   
\- Yeah, that too. Maybe he just got there late at night and then he knew I'd be sleeping so he went to sleep himself and didn't wake up yet. In fact the telephone rang last night but I didn't pick it up on time. Anyway, I'm probably just overthinking things.  
\- I think so. I'm sure he's fine.   
\- Yeah... it's just that I've been feeling this... thing, like a bad feeling. I can't explain.   
\- Like a hunch?   
\- Yeah. Like a hunch.   
\- Hope you're wrong, then.   
\- Me too.

Both stayed silent for a moment.

\- So... what do you want to... talk about? - Rose asked.  
\- He wants us to move, Ro.   
\- Move? But I thought you'd said he...   
\- I thought so, too. But we talked and he told me he thinks it's going to be better if we moved. I agree with him.  
\- I'm gonna miss you so much. - Rose squeezed Suki's hand on the table.   
\- Me too, Ro. You're the best friend a girl could have. - Suki smiled sweetly at her friend.   
\- Oh, you're too kind.   
\- You're crying? - Suki asked and laughed a bit. - Don't cry, you silly!   
\- No, I'm not... - Rose said, wiping under her eyes. - When are you going? And where.   
\- We don't know, yet. I mean, we had this talk but he had to leave right after so we didn't really thought of where to go. Dad left all the houses to me, so... - Suki hadn't tell Rose anything about the way she had found out her father had passed away and everything else that had happened between her and Jada, in Italy. She didn't want to reopen those wounds. - maybe we'll want to go to Italy or Greece. Even though we could end up in North Ireland or Scotland, as well. _Somewhere closer to home._ \- She echoed Miles' words.  
\- Do you think Austin will adapt?  
\- I'm sure he will. Mi and I haven't talked to him about anything, yet. I'll let him lead the way.   
\- I see. I hope everything goes well.  
\- Me too. How are things going for you?  
\- Well, Brian and I have been fighting less.   
\- That's good, then.  
\- No, it's exactly the opposite! I bet, I fucking bet he's cheating on me, again! That fucking son of a bitch!   
\- I don't und—  
\- He's avoiding to rile me up so I won't be mad at him and get suspicious, but I wasn't born yesterday, I can see it!   
\- Ro... maybe he is just being honest this time. You have a beautiful son and a daughter together, a comfy home. I know he made terrible mistakes in the past but maybe he is really trying to change, now. For both you and your children. He loves the three of you.  
\- He loves his children, only. If he _really_ loved _me_ he wouldn't have cheated on me. I mean, you're always reminding me Miles doesn't love you and yet he has never cheated on you. That settles it.

Suki frowned a bit at that statement.

\- Miles couldn't have cheated on me because we're not in a relationship. Rose, you _know_ him and I live a lie to please a nosy society, it's a contract. Nothing but a contract. How many times am I gonna have to tell you this? Besides, he's traumatized by everything that happened to him, he wouldn't love anyone else.  
\- I have never mentioned anything about that but I've seen the two of you kissing.  
\- I'm sorry?   
\- Last month at the school' soccer thing before the choir thing. I was looking for you in the crowd so I could sit next to you and when I found you you were greeting Miles and he kissed you. And it's not the first time I've... - Rose explained, almost embarrassed she had seen that moment.  
\- Oh, you mean: he gave me a _peck_ on the lips. If you think hard you'll notice that we do that only when we're on crowded places. - Suki watched as Rose seemed to be digging up memories.   
\- Yeah, that's true. I'm sorry.   
\- And it means nothing at all. It is actually very healthy for Austin, to see that and not suspect his parents got married _only_ because of him. Let him think Miles and I really love each other.   
\- I don't know, I'm sorry. It's just that we didn't see each other for a while and then maybe I thought somehow... I mean, I saw that and I know the two of you sleep in the same bed. How do you...  
\- Well, it's actually not a secret he goes out _to women_ every once in a while. And me... well, you know what happened last time I've been going from lover to lover so yeah, I had to calm down.   
\- I'm sorry. I'm just... I love Brian so much. So, so much. It just tears me apart to even think about him and... someone else. Ugh!   
\- What if you let your guard down? I know he did cheat on you once but it was before the kids came along. Maybe he's changed.   
\- Oh my God, who are you? - Rose joked.   
\- I know, right! Some years back I would've grabbed my sharpest knife and cut his dick off. I think time gave me all the patience I've been seeking all my life.  
\- It surely sounds like it.   
\- Yeah.

Both laughed.

\- But I mean it. Let your guard down.   
\- I'll try. I promise I'll try. It's just that it's really suspicious the way he's so... calm, now. I don't know. But I'll do that, I don't want to keep on fighting.   
\- Very good.  
\- Yeah.  
\- But if you find out he's cheating; cut his dick off. - Suki finished.

Both started to laugh out loud.

Rose helped Suki to get out of her own head for the afternoon and she was feeling better when she got back home with Austin, later that day.

\- Ready? - She asked Austin.   
\- Yes.   
\- On three.   
\- One.  
\- Two.  
\- THREE!

Both started racing.

And as every good mom, Suki let Austin win by yards, at the end.

\- I WON! - He yelled, climbing the stairs of the porch and doing a little victory dance.  
\- Oh, my son. Aren't you the fastest runner in the world? - She smiled at him. - Do your old mum a favour and grab her a glass of water because, oh, I'm about to die. - Suki pretended to be very tired.

Austin laughed at her rendition of a dying person. He ran off to grab her a glass of water.

\- DON'T RUN WITH A GLASS IN YOUR HANDS! - Suki shouted.  
\- _ALRIGHT, I KNOW_! - He shouted back from inside the house.

Suki walked towards the mailbox and pushed the flag down.

\- A letter from Elisa... this is for Miles.   
\- Mom?   
\- Yeah. - She locked the mailbox again. - Thank you, dear. - She said, accepting the glass of water Austin was handing her.

They walked in the house.

Suki had barely put the mail on the coffee table when the telephone started to ring, again.

\- Yes? - She spoke into the microphone. - Hello? Miles, is that you?

The line went dead.

\- Strange. - She said, turning around to look at Austin. - If it was your father he will call again.   
\- What happened?  
\- I picked up but nobody said anything.   
\- Maybe it is broken.   
\- I think so... I'll have someone to take a look at it. But well, Mi knows Alexa's number so he could just phone her. - Suki explained.

Austin nodded at her.

\- Anyway, go wash up and then come help me fix the dinner.  
\- Alright! - Austin ran off to the bathroom.

Suki washed her own hands and tied her favourite apron around her waist.

\- What do you want to eat? - She asked Austin as soon as he approached her.   
\- What about pancakes?  
\- I think it's a good idea. You'll help me with the dough?  
\- Yes.  
\- Show me your hands.

Austin lifted his hands up in the air, in front of his mother.

\- Yeah, they're clean. - She nodded.

Suki grabbed all the ingredients she would need for the pancakes and put everything on the kitchen counters.

\- I was talking to Aiden and we realized next year we'll be studying in the same building.   
\- Mhm...   
\- Yeah.  
\- That's...

Suki stopped and thought if she should just let Austin to hold on to that small joy or start breaking the news to him instead of waiting for Miles to do that.

\- I thought you wanted to change schools.  
\- I did...   
\- What if Aiden changed schools?  
\- Maybe I'd want to go to his new school, too.   
\- But what about your friends?   
\- I don't have _real_ friends there. - Austin lowered his head for a moment.   
\- Why is that? I thought you had lots of friends there. I mean, you're always mentioning that girl... Eve and Kevin, too.   
\- They're good friends but sometimes they just leave me for the mean kids. Sometimes I just sit down by myself to eat lunch. It's not cool.   
\- I'm sorry, son. Do the mean kids bother you?   
\- No. Aiden doesn't let them.   
\- I thought your breaks didn't happen at the same time.  
\- Sometimes they do. And it's very cool when they do because Aiden comes to have lunch with me or takes me to have lunch with his friends. If there's enough time we play a bit of soccer.   
\- I'm glad to hear that.

Austin smiled a bit at his mother.

\- You'd miss him very much, wouldn't you? Aiden, I mean. If he changed schools or moved away, someday.   
\- Yeah. - Austin shrugged. - He is like my big brother.   
\- Yeah, I know. - Suki nodded a bit.  
\- I hope we remain friends forever. - Austin said and Suki gulped.  
\- Yeah, me too. Pass me the flour, please. - She changed the subject. - Thank you. Now pay attention.

After having made their dinner, Suki and Austin sat on the kitchen table to eat. She was laughing at the jokes and stories Austin was telling her. When they were done, Austin went to brush his teeth and Suki went to do the dishes.

The night went on as usual.

Suki helped Austin with his homework, which Miles didn't have the chance to do because he had fallen asleep after officer Locke had left and slept through the night, waking up on the next morning after Austin had left for school.

\- Now all there's left is grandpa's name. Dad's father, I mean.  
\- Yeah. Our tree is a bit small, isn't it? - Suki gave Austin an apologetic look. - At least it's easier to remember all the names, that way.   
\- Yeah...  
\- Let me see... me, Miles. Your grandpa Norman, Elizabeth, Pauline... Alright. Next to 'Pauline' you write 'Peter'.   
\- Like dad's middle name? - Austin frowned at his mother.   
\- Exactly. Maybe your grandmother just loved your grandfather very much and decided to give Miles his name, too. - Suki shrugged and smiled a bit.   
\- Mhm... - Austin wrote down the name of Miles' father on the blank space.   
\- I don't know his middle name so let's just pretend he didn't have one. When your dad phones home I can ask him, alright?  
\- Yeah. What happened to him? - Austin turned his head to look at his mother.  
\- He died a long, long, long time ago. Your father was fifteen or sixteen, at the time, if I'm not mistaken. It was right before he and your grandma Pauline moved from England to the US.   
\- Oh...  
\- Yeah. Anything else left to be done? - Suki asked, turning the pages of Austin's math book.   
\- No. That was just that.   
\- Alright. Go brush your teeth and you can play a bit if you want but as soon as the clock strikes nine you go to bed.  
\- Alright. Thank you, mom.   
\- You're welcome, dear. - She kissed Austin's left cheek. - I'm going outside for a smoke and be back soon. I'll be in the living room if you need anything, right?  
\- Yes.

The hours went on and Suki found out her eyes had been staring at the telephone way more that they normally would be.

_Where the hell are you, Miles?_

And that was another night Suki didn't sleep well.

—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-

\- This is the new menu. - Suki handed a sheet to each one of her employees, as she did every time there was some change on the menu. - The agnolotti is selling very well so I'll keep it for a while longer.

She pointed at the dishes and explained briefly how each one was made and which variations each one could have so the waiters would know how to explain everything to the customers if they asked something.

Then everyone grabbed a bite to eat.

\- Divine food, as always. - Beatrice nodded at Suki. She was her sous-chef.

Suki smiled at Beatrice in response.

\- It's opening time, guys. Good luck everyone, see you all by the end of the night.

The restaurant was exceptionally full, that night. When the night ended, Suki — and her staff — was exhausted.

\- So. - Suki started. Filling everyone's glasses with juice. There was a new employee so she wouldn't risk it to serve wine. - I asked you all to stay because I have some things I'd like to let you know.

She put her own glass down for a moment.

\- These last eleven years have been the best years of my life. I love this place with all my heart and I'm very proud of everything I've conquered up to this very day. But I couldn't have done any of this without you so I want to thank you all, from the bottom of my heart. You're the soul and heart of this place. - She smiled at everyone. - That being, I'd like to tell you that I'm... leaving.

Some people gasped and some people started to ask "why?". Suki was an excellent boss and all of her employees loved her.

\- Ever since I was old enough I've been traveling the world. When I got here, my plan was to go somewhere else in two years, but then I met my husband and my son was born so all that was left to do was to postpone my plans. And it was really the best thing I could have done. I've been really, really happy here... but now it's time I start my life over again somewhere I haven't lived in before. I still don't know exactly when I'll be leaving town, still haven't settled all the details with my husband but it's going to be soon so I'd like to give the keys to this place to its new owner. Beatrice. - She said, looking at Beatrice, whose jaw had dropped. - You're the same age I was when I started this place. You've proven to be beyond capable of running this kitchen. You're dedicated, you're creative, you're talented, you're cautious, hardworking and above all things you're kind and you pay attention to everyone's needs. I can't think of anyone better than you.   
\- Thank you. - Beatrice hugged Suki. - This means the whole world to me. I mean it. I don't even have words, I... and now I get why you've been asking so many questions about my dreams!   
\- Its yours. I couldn't sell this place to a stranger that I didn't even know if was going to keep the staff. I've signed the papers, already. It's all in my— _your_ office. - Suki put the keys on Beatrice's hand and made the young woman wrap her fingers around it. Wiped away a tear off of her face. - And now I'd like to call for a toast. To us, to this place, to our _family._ Cheers!

Suki raised her glass and so did everyone else.

She got home feeling more tired than she had ever felt before.

Of course Suki knew that moment would come, deep down she had planned everything ages ago.

A free spirit can't be tamed and Suki was one of those.

Even though she was used to live with Miles, and liked him very much, she had planned to leave him as soon as Austin turned eighteen. If he wanted to go away with her, she'd take him with her but if he chose to stay with his father, then she'd come back to visit him or he could go see her. She wanted him to be as free as her father had let her be.

Suki took a shower and changed into her nightgown. She went to the bedroom she shared with Miles and stopped in front of the wardrobe to pick her clothes for the next day but then she remembered Austin wasn't home and she didn't have to get up early on the next morning. She stopped for a second, staring at Miles' clothes.

\- This joke isn't funny anymore. - She whispered, crossing her arms in front of her body.

And even though the day had been beyond busy, it took several hours until Suki could finally fall asleep.

——————————————————————

The Sun was high in the sky. Half past noon.

Suki was sitting by the telephone.

Someone knocked on the door and she ran to get it.

She stared eye-widened at the two police officers standing in front of her.

\- Miles isn't home yet. - She told them.  
\- We know, that's why we came. We'd like to talk to you. - The officer pointed to inside the house, indicating that it'd be better if Suki invited them in.  
\- I'm listening. - She didn't invite them in.

She _uncrossed_ her arms.

The officers exchanged a look.

\- Well, there was an _accident_ with the train Mr. Kane was traveling, in Alabama. The force is still investigating but what we learned so far is that the train caught on fire.  
\- And?

Suki could hear her heart pounding on her ears.

\- There are no survivors. We're very sorry.  
\- Where is his body? - She asked them, staring into their eyes.   
\- We couldn't retrieve any bodies, yet. They're all too... _damaged_ by the fire, couldn't be identified.   
\- No. But Miles wears a wedding band and said band is made of gold, it wouldn't just have melted even if he had been... So as long as you don't bring his ring to me and prove to me he is dead, I won't believe he is dead. Now if you excuse me.

Suki closed the door and rested her back against it.

Her whole body was shaking.

She heard when the boots of the two officers marched away and then she slid down until she was sitting on the floor.

_If you're really dead, I'm killing you!_

Suki doesn't know how time passed by so fast but when she realized, Austin was home again. It felt like she had jumped in a time machine or something of the sorts.

\- Hi, mum. - Austin greeted Suki as soon as he walked into the living room.  
\- Hi, baby. Come here.

Austin approached his mother and she hugged him, keeping him in her arms much longer than hugs usually last.

\- Mom?  
\- Yeah? - She let go of him, now adjusting his clothes.   
\- Are you alright? - He frowned a bit.  
\- Yes. I'm fine.   
\- Are you... sure? - He asked again, touching her face.   
\- I'm just tired. - She tried to smile a bit at him, holding her tears back. - I had a busy day, yesterday. It's alright. - She pushed his hair out of his eyes.   
\- Mhm...  
\- There's cake in the kitchen and I made some strawberry juice, as well. I was waiting for you to come home, I've missed you.   
\- But you saw me yesterday.   
\- I know. But I always miss you immensely when you're not around, you know that. Now go. Wash your hands and go eat something.   
\- Are you going to the restaurant, tonight?  
\- No, I have no businesses there.  
\- Alright... Oh, did dad call?   
\- Yeah, I spoke to him earlier this morning. He's fine. - She lied. - Now go.

Austin disappeared through the kitchen's arch and Suki couldn't hold her tears back, anymore, they started to roll down her face like heavy diamonds.

She buried her face in her hands.

To avoid to be caught crying, she informed Austin that she was going to take a shower and come back in just a minute. She went into the bedroom and locked the door behind her, stumbled upon her guitar on the way there.

She would always grab the guitar and tune it, repeatedly, like a mania, every time she was really nervous about something. In several occasions Miles had hidden the guitar in order not to go insane because of Suki's habit. Sometimes she would pull the strings so much they would break. 

And for maybe the third or fourth time in her life, Suki went into Miles's bathroom and for the first time she spent more than a few seconds in there.

She put her hands on the sink and let them support most part of the weight of her upper body.

She opened the tap and threw some cold water on her face.

Closed her eyes.

_\- Oh my, you 'ave a guitar? - Miles asked, blowing the smoke of his cigarette as higher as he could. He and Suki were at her house._   
_\- You're only seeing it now?_   
_\- Yeah?_   
_\- I thought I was more drunk than you but I just realized I'm mistaken. Anyway, there's a string that's broken, I need to replace it. Where are you going? - Suki asked, laughing. She closed her eyes for a moment. - Miles, you're naked._   
_\- Not anymore. - He said, strumming the guitar._

_Suki opened one eye, first, and laughed out loud when she saw Miles covering his body with the guitar._

_\- Oh my God, don't do that. - She said when he started to play, still laughing._  
 _\- Old MacDonald had a farm_  
 _E-I-E-I-O_  
 _And on his farm he had a cow_  
 _E-I-E-I-O_  
 _With a moo-moo here_  
 _And a moo-moo there_  
 _Here a moo, there a moo_  
 _Everywhere a moo-moo_  
 _Old MacDonald had a farm_  
 _E-I-E-I-O_  
\- _I can't believe you're using_ my _guitar to play annoying children's rhymes. Where did you learn that?_  
 _\- Around. - He replied, playing the same note over and over._  
 _\- I bet these are the type of songs you and your band play at the shows._  
 _\- It is actually not but you just gave me an excellent idea._  
 _\- Come back to bed._  
 _\- What do I get?_  
 _\- I want to sleep._  
 _\- So I'm not getting anything?_  
 _\- ...maybe._  
 _\- You 'ave my full attention, now. Go on. - He said and Suki laughed a bit._  
 _\- What exactly do you want? - She asked._  
 _\- Oh, I can't tell you... but I can show you._

\- Of course from all the memories I had to remember of the fucking _cow song._

She sighed.

If there was one thing that would go round and round Suki's mind, from time to time, that'd be exactly _when_ she got pregnant with Austin.

Was it the first time she and Miles got together?

Was it the second?   
Was it the third?   
Or the fourth?

Would she have stopped seeing him if she could get a glimpse a few months ahead in her future and found out she was pregnant, so she could avoid getting pregnant?

What would have happened if Austin had never been conceived?

\- I can't tell Austin that you're dead so you better come back home as soon as possible. This feels awful. I knew something was wrong, I felt it. I should have insisted that you'd stayed.

Two more days passed and Suki didn't hear from Miles. But since she didn't get any visits from the police, she was still holding on to the last strings of hope that were left.

\- Darling? - She called, knocking on the ajar door of Austin's bedroom.  
\- Yes, mom?   
\- Can I talk to you for a second?  
\- Yeah.  
\- Alright, sit here with me for a moment.

She guided Austin to his bed and they sat side by side, grabbed his hands.

\- Before I tell you anything else, I'd like to let you know that as long as we have each other I will never ever let you lack anything. You understand that?  
\- Yes.   
\- Very well. I... - Suki swallowed hard. - I'm sorry there's no better... I don't know a better way to tell you this but there was an accident, on the train your father was on... he was coming back home - Another lie. - but something happened and the train caught fire, now Miles is _missing._  
\- But he will come back, right? Mom, he is coming back, isn't he?

Suki felt her heart shattering when she saw her son's eyes filled with tears.

\- I don't know. - She said, in a tiny voice. - I'm sorry. - She hugged him when he started to cry.

Her own eyes filled with tears.

\- But your dad is too stubborn so I'll bet he'll be home soon. We will be alright, I'm here for you. I love you. Don't worry, alright?

Austin just nodded, slightly.

\- Meanwhile I need you to stay at Alexa's house for a couple of days. I need to meet up with some detectives so we can find Miles as fast as we can. Aiden is already waiting for you.   
\- Don't leave me, mom. - Austin let go of Suki so he could look at her face. His own face covered in tears. - What if you go missing, too?   
\- I promise you I won't. I will never go missing. And I won't leave town, it's just that I'll need to go down to the police station many times and I can't leave you alone here and I can't take you with me, either. So I talked to your aunt Alexa and asked her if you could stay there. Safe. Just for a couple of days.   
\- Do you promise?  
\- I promise.   
\- Alright. - Austin nodded.   
\- Alright. I'll help you pack the things you'll need.

Every hour that went by only seemed to add more weight to Suki's shoulders. She was practically living at the police station, now.

Demanding answers.

And getting some answers but no one was able to prove any of those bodies were Miles' so Suki continued to pressure the police for some _real_ answers about where her best friend could be.

\- I'll come back by the end of the day, then.  
\- But, Mrs. Kane we...  
\- I trust you'll have something new to tell me by the time I come back.   
\- I can't sa—  
\- Alright, see you later.

Suki drove home and parked the car by the left side of the house. It was a rainy day.

She hanged her coat on the back of the main door and took her shoes off.

Took a deep breath and kept the air in her lungs for a moment, she let it out slowly.

And when she was about to make her way to the kitchen to fix something to eat, Suki heard the floorboards of the porch squeaking.

She turned around and opened the door, slowly.

Suki stepped outside and looked around, going from one end of the porch to the other, making sure no one was really there.

\- It must have been the wind. - She thought out loud.

But right before she took another step inside the house, a hand grabbed her by her arm, turning her around.

She was desperately trying to breath as a Japanese man was lifting her off the floor by her throat.

\- _Where is him_? - He asked in japanese.

Suki managed to kick the man's groin and he let go of her for a moment. Time enough for she to run inside the house and grab a knife from the kitchen.

She hid one knife on her back, pulling her shirt over it and kept the other on her hand. Looking around, trying to figure out from where that awful man would come to try to get her.

\- _What do you want? -_ She asked him, when he stopped by the kitchen's arch.   
\- _Where is him_?  
\- _Who are you talking about?_  
\- _Miles Kane. Where is him?_  
\- _I don't know! We're separated. He went away with our son, moved away to Tampa_. _It's been weeks since the last time I saw him._  
\- _You're lying._  
 _\- Why would I be lying!?_  
 _\- Who do you think was calling you on the telephone?_

The man tried to approach Suki, again, not fearing the knife she was pointing at him.

She started to throw things at him.

Mostly glass.

\- _If you want to kill me so badly why don't you just fucking shoot me? -_ She yelled at him.  
 _\- I'm supposed to snap your neck in two. Superior orders._

 _He is unarmed._ Suki thought.

\- _Who sent you?_  
 _\- What difference does it make?_

Somehow, even though she made a deep cut on his face, the man managed to take the knife out of Suki's hand.

He punched her face and she lost balance for a moment. Her sight went dark. Blood sputtered from her nose.

She looked at him.

He was coming for her again.

She hit him with a frying pan.

_I'm not dying here._   
_I'm not dying here._   
_I'm not dying._

_Not yet._

They kept on fighting for some more minutes. Whoever lost that combat would not be waking up to another sunrise so none of them wanted to lose, obviously.

With a bit of luck, Suki managed to overthrow the man and before he could get back on his feet, she craved the knife she had been hiding, on his back.

He didn't move anymore.

A pool of blood started to grow around his body.

Suki started to cry.

She fell on her knees when they gave in.   
Closed her eyes.  
Confused, distressed, _terrified_.

\- Why is this happening?

When she felt her knees wouldn't fail her again, Suki got up, not looking at dead man on the floor of her kitchen.

She grabbed the letter Elisa had sent to Miles and opened it.

_(...) I've discovered Kazuya had been hitting our son with all the anger he holds inside of him. When I came back home from tour, a month earlier, — I decided to cancel some concerts because I've been feeling too tired, lately — I found my Gabriel covered in bruises from head to toe. Kazuya and I had a huge fight and I kicked him out of the house, very soon we'll get a divorce._   
_I'm so sad, my friend._   
_My son is a sensible child, very attached to me. He cherishes the small things, the animals, he loves music and he finds ballerinas to be the most beautiful thing in this world. I love it but Kazuya disapproves it._   
_I still don't understand how a father could do that to his own son and I bet you don't understand it as well._   
_I only thought of writing you because you're very dear to me and you're one of the few real friends I have. And know I can count on you the same way I've told you you can count on me._   
_Come see me when you can._   
_Now that I'm living alone, there's no Kazuya to keep jealousy barking in my ear about you. I even think, sometimes, he wished him and I were friends the same way you and I are. (...)_

_-_ I can't believe this man sent someone to kill us out of jealousy. And revenge. - She thought out loud, her hands shaking so much that she had to hold the letter against the wall so she could read it.

Suki re-read the letter a handful of times to be sure of what was written on it.

She put down the letter on the coffee table and a small elephant made of marble on top of it so the wind wouldn't blow up those pages. Then she ran into the bedroom and grabbed the "emergency box" on the bottom of the lowest drawer of the wardrobe.

 _\- Don't open that box unless you really 'ave to. Those are... desperate measures and they might really shock you. I'm really sorry. -_ Miles told Suki when he first told her about that little box.

She opened it. 

_• Don't panic_.  
• _Don't leave_ _any evidences behind. Clean, burn, wash everything._  
 _• There's a shallow grave on the back about 500 feet away from the house, it fits three bodies in case we ever need it. I'm not saying we would but..._  
 _• Leave the house as quickly as possible. Don't take anything but all the money you can carry and a change of clothes with you, so whoever might be threatening you won't know you're running away. Buy everything you need when you get to a safe place._  
 _• Travel from city to city and stay somewhere you've never been before._  
 _• Don't leave any photographs behind._  
 _• Don't wait for me, don't worry about me. Don't tell me where you're going. Just go away and I'll find you later it doesn't matter where you are._  
 _• Warn Alexa. Tell her_ _everything_ _that's happening and let her decide if she wants to leave_ with _you or after you to some place else. But you_ must _convince her to leave town no matter what._  
• _Don't lie to Austin but don't tell him the whole truth either. He's a kid but he has the right to know he is danger so he'll be even more prone to obey you without any further questions._  
 _• Burn these instructions._  
 _• It is going to be alright, I promise._

Suki took a deep breath.

Back in the kitchen she was about to faint.

_What have I done?_

She grabbed the legs of the man and started to drag him out of the back door. A trail of blood being painted on the floor. She felt like she was going to be sick and let go of his legs for a minute, trying not to vomit.

In vain.

Another deep breath.

_Keep calm. Don't panic._   
_If Miles is dead then you're the only one Austin has now so you have to do this, and you have to do it right._

Suki dragged the man to the grave, took the knife out of his back and threw him into the pit. Then she walked back to the house and started to clean everything up.

After a few hours of scrubbing, sweeping, and washing, Suki grabbed everything she thought it could be used against her as evidence and threw it on the pit. She poured alcohol over the body and lit it on fire.

When she thought everything had been sufficiently burnt to ashes, Suki filled the hole with dirt, burying that secret forever.

She took a shower, packed some clothes for her and Austin, grabbed all the money she could carry and checked, again, for any proofs she had indeed killed another human being. Looked at herself into the mirror one last time.

Her nose was all red, soon it'd be turning purple. She could barely touch it without wincing.

There was nothing she could do about that.

_Where do I go?_

_Where am I running away to?_

Suki thought over and over until she felt like she knew where she should go.

She went into Austin's room and browsed through his toys, then she walked back to the living room and put the boy' small wooden moose on the coffee table, by the letter.

And then she left, not knowing if she was going to be able to live in peace with herself after everything she had just done.


	12. Circles

**The** **_Arctic,_ ** **1921.**

\- Oh my God, what do you want from me, now? - Miles asked, stopping himself to keep on messing around, idly, the papers on Alex's desk and resting his head on his fist.   
\- Nothing. I'm actually bringing a peace offering. - Lil said, putting the box she was carrying on the desk, in front of Miles.   
\- Cookies?   
\- I know you like them.  
\- What poison did you put on it?   
\- Come on. - Lil complained, clicking her tongue.  
\- So you'll yell at me, rile me up, get me kicked out from the operation and sent to fucking Orlando for no reason and then you come to apologize with cookies?

Lil sighed.

\- Look, I'm trying. And besides, you yelled at me too so we're even. - She said, turning around to leave but then Miles held her wrist for a second.   
\- Just messing. Sorry. - He said, shaking his head a bit.

_Don't leave, please. Don't go outside within his reach._

\- You love to make fun of me, don't you? - She asked, looking at his fingers around her wrist.  
\- Sometimes. - Miles had a tiny smirk on his lips. - 'ave a sit. - He said, letting go of her and opening the box of cookies.

Lil sat down on one of the comfy chairs in front of the desk and crossed her fingers on her lap.

\- Did they see you coming upstairs? - Miles asked, studying her face.

She was now staring at the big window of Alex's office. The view from there was very pleasant. The _Arctic_ was located in a strategic spot and didn't have any other tall buildings in front of it so it was possible to see the sea, in the distance.   
A thin rich blue line with occasional white bits added to it.

A dark, scary, infinite at night.

\- No. Why aren't you downstairs, as well? - Lil asked back, now turning her attention back to him.  
\- I'm not feeling too well.  
\- What's wrong? - She frowned a bit.

Her curious eyes, brown under the darkish brown fringe, trying to capture a clue on Miles' face. She would stay so still that for a moment it seemed like she was actually made of porcelain that a single touch could shatter into a million pieces, until she'd move again and snap Miles out of his thoughts.

\- Nothing you should worry about. - Miles gestured at the cookies indicating Lil should grab one. He looked the other way.   
\- Are you sure?  
\- Yeah, too many cookies for me alone.

Lil scoffed.

\- I was talking about it not being anything I should worry about, not if I really should grab a cookie.  
\- Sorry. - He slightly shook his head and looked back at her with a shy smile. - Yeah, I'm sure.   
\- Alright, then. Well, I'm _sorry_ , too. I mean, sometimes you're just mean to me so I end up being mean to you in return but I never thought our fight would get so out of hand to a point Alex would send you away.   
\- I'm mean because you're mean.  
\- I'm mean because you are.  
\- It looks like we're gonna start another argument. - He looked at her from behind his glasses.  
\- As usual. - Lil sighed. - Why do you hate me?

Miles was caught off guard by that question.

Of course his plan consisted of really hating her so he wouldn't get _too_ hurt when she left but it had failed and Miles was almost sure Lil had noticed that.

Except she hadn't.

And now she really thought he hated her.

_Oh, I wish._

\- I don't.   
\- It seems, sounds and feels like you do.   
\- But I don't. Well, I accept your apologies.   
\- Great. - Lil said, finally grabbing a cookie.   
\- I'm sorry, too. - He said, holding back the desire of telling her what had been happening to him, lately.

How much he missed her when she wasn't around and that he really wasn't sure about what he felt towards her... but that he knew that it hurt and hurt even more every time he watched her leave with Tyler.

The feelings the stomach had found impossible to digest and was sending back. Miles gritted his teeth before that content could be spat out completely.

\- You are? - She asked. He just nodded. - That's new, coming from you, but yeah...  
\- Why do we fight so much? - A genuine question.   
\- I don't know. - Lil said, thinking while chewing on her cookie. - Maybe because... you're often chasing me around and interrupting me? I mean: the curtain episode, for example. - She shrugged.  
\- I'm sorry if I put you under that impression but it's really not on purpose. It's just that I... care for your physical integrity? - Miles said even though the last part sounded like a question.

He wasn't really sure if it was just that.

\- Only mine, then, cuz poor Jamie rolled down the stairs and you almost died from laughing. He could have broken his neck.   
\- Nah, he couldn't. - Miles smiled at the memory.  
\- I see it still amuses you. - Lil said, rolling her eyes with a tiny smile. - Well, what we could do to try to fight less?   
\- Why should we do anything? - Miles asked, expecting Lil would tell him it was because she liked him too.  
\- Because I care about you. - She said and Miles' heart stopped for a second before it started to race like crazy. - I care about all you boys and I want this place to be as unproblematic as it gets.

 _Then it's not just about me_. Miles felt disappointed.

\- And I don't want to be kicked out of the business, as well. Don't think I could have a normal job ever again. - She finished.  
\- Mhm...   
\- What if we tried to... I don't know, just walk away from each other when we get really irritated about something one of us is doing? Forget about each other's existence.  
\- For how long? Because last time it took me a whole week to stop wanting to shove you into a train and send you to fucking _Hell_.

It was when he was disappointed that Miles would start to be rude as not to let his weaknesses to show. It wasn't something calculated, it was really automatic and it really hurt to notice that he wasn't special in her eyes. Even though he was more dear to her than all the people in the world it still wasn't enough. He wanted her to really let him be her number one instead of being on her top six along with his friends.

 _Even though I'd probably be waiting for you down there in Hell, too._ He thought, staring into her eyes.

\- For as long as we think it's necessary. - She said. - Sometimes it takes a little while for me too.  
\- Deal, then.

Miles and Lil shook hands.

\- _WHERE ARE THEY_?

Nick yelled downstairs. Miles and Lil exchanged a glance.

\- Up for some good laughs? - She asked him. A playful smirk on her face.

When Nick entered Alex's office, he found Lil with her hands around Miles' neck, strangling him. Miles had his tongue sticking out of his mouth and his arms were loose by the sides of his body.

\- AHHHHHH! - Nick screamed and took a step forward and then froze. He didn't know what to do.

Lil let go of Miles throat and both started laughing their asses off. She was laughing so hard that she had to hold onto Miles' shoulder so she wouldn't just fall to the ground.

\- This... was ama—amazing. - Miles tried to say to Lil but he was also laughing at Nick. - Your face! - He pointed at Nick.

The laughter grew louder.

\- What's happening? - Alex asked, showing up at the office's door like he had been running upstairs, too.

Another laughing fit coming from Miles and Lil.

Nick had his arms crossed in front of his body and his brows furrowed. The tiniest smile on his face when he realized he had been pranked.

\- Mil— _HAHAHAHAHAHAH_. I can't bre— breathe _HAHAHAHAHA_. Help. _HAHAHAHAHA_.   
\- Not dying from a gunshot but dying from laughing too much, who could 'ave seen that coming? - Nick asked Lil.

He just couldn't be mad at her.

 _And it was a bit funny, actually... Unexpected._  
  
\- A'ight, I don't know what the Hell is going on but it doesn't look like anything serious. - Alex said, walking towards his desk and grabbing a cookie, he sat down on the chair Lil was sitting on before.  
\- These two gave me a fright. I walked in here and Lil was killing Miles, it seemed, - He was gesturing as he spoke. - but it was just a joke so they could laugh their arses off at my expense.   
\- I wish I 'ad seen it. - Alex said, offering a cookie to Nick.  
\- Would ye stop giving me cookies away? - Miles asked Alex, trying to keep a straight face. Lil was still laughing.   
\- You've got too many and this is my office, ye just paying me rent. Oh my God, she's gonna die. - It was Alex's turn to rest his head on his hand. He was referring to Lil and the dancing fabric of her dress.  
\- Give me a second. - Miles told Alex and Nick. He poured some water into a glass and threw it at Lil.

She was caught off guard and that seemed to work. The laughter stopped.

\- Thank you. - She could finally speak.

Lil sighed and went around the desk, sat on the floor by Alex's chair, pushing his foot out of the way. He smiled a bit at her.

\- Ye mopping the floor. - Alex pointed at Miles.   
\- Not fair! - Miles said. - I had to do it!   
\- You _wanted_ to do that to her. It's different. No, don't deny it.   
\- I really thought I was gonna die, for a second. - Lil said. She didn't care she was wet. She had her men's clothes in the backroom so she could change into them until her dress dried.  
\- You two seem to be getting along, today. I ran 'ere expecting to find a murder scene... well, I kinda did but it was just humbug. - Nick said, crossing his arms and resting his back against the wall.  
\- You guys are really that scared of me? - Lil asked Alex, Nick and Miles.

The three of them gave her a different answer each.

——————————————————————

_The forest._   
_The water._

\- Wake up! I can't believe you're still sleeping, Miles! We're gonna be late.

Miles opened his eyes.

It was dark and he could see all the luminous spots in the sky.

\- Get up!

Two hands grabbed Miles' both arms and helped him up.

\- Come on, help me with the tie.  
\- A...lex?   
\- Yes? - Alex looked back at Miles with an "who were you expecting it to be?" expression on his face.

Miles looked around. He was at Alex's house, in his living room.

The familiar rug under his feet, the same old curtains, the couches, the scratched linoleum by the main door. The big blue windows and the sun shining through the glass, dust dancing in the air.

\- I was dreaming all along. - He turned back to look at Alex. - It was just a dream!

Miles hugged Alex. He could feel his friend's warmth, the actual touch of his fingers... maybe if he concentrated enough he could hear the beat of Alex's heart, too.

\- What are you talking about? - Alex asked, frowning, when Miles let go of him and took a step back. Looking at him as if he was one of the seven wonders.   
\- Nothing. Nothing, I...   
\- Never mind, help me. A'ight, so blue or green?   
\- I... uh... Green, I guess. What's the occasion? If I may...

Miles asked after Alex had handed him the green tie so he could tie it around his friend's neck.

\- I'm sorry?   
\- I just figured...  
\- Look at yourself. - Alex pushed Miles 'til he was standing in front of the mirror on the hall's tall wall. - What do you think you're dressed for?   
\- Something... formal? - Miles asked again. He was truly confused.  
\- Of course it's formal! It's my wedding, Miles!   
\- What? - Miles frowned at the same time Alex walked in front of him again so he could help him with his tie.   
\- Why do you think I'm so nervous?

While he tried to make his fingers properly work on his friend's tie, Miles really looked at Alex's face. Noticed he looked as young as when they met for the first time. His hair was a bit longer and disheveled, getting into his eyes. His face perfectly smooth, no sign of a beard or even a stub. His eyes were still innocent.

As if he hadn't killed anyone before.

\- I'm sorry, can you _please_ stop distracting him? At least right now. - Alex sounded a bit irritated.   
\- What? - Miles asked.

Then his eyes fell upon the mirror, again.

The fingertips of two hands were touching each other, around his neck.

**6 hours after the train stopped, Alabama.**

\- It's not like I'm keeping his hands busy. - Lil told Alex, taking a step to the side. - And that tie is just not... try the black one.  
\- Yeah, you're right. I don't know what I was thinking. - Alex told her.

Miles could see her reflection on the mirror.

\- You know Alexa is waiting for you. - Alex told Lil, turning to look at himself in the mirror. - You should 'ave left by now, she'll think you won't come.

And suddenly his face had changed to the face Miles was used to. All the scars, the subtle wrinkles, the stub, the _shorter_ hair combed to the side. He looked a bit tired... full of responsibilities.

\- Who dressed you, Miles? - Lil grabbed both of Miles shoulders and made him turn around to face her.

Something was off about her.

And then everything was light, the Sun getting into Miles' eyes. He looked around, again.

They were standing in an open space.

The wind was blowing Lil's hair off of her face, her eyes as gently as ever. She was barefoot on the heavenly green grass they were stepping on, wearing a fluid dress of the same colour of the sky surrounding her figure like a frame. The Sun was shining but not really burning.

Her gaze fell upon Miles and she smiled comfortably at him.

His lips started to move to form a smile but then he stopped out of a sudden.

\- What are you doing here? - He frowned.

 _Where's Alex?_ He almost added.

\- Is this how you greet me? - She raised her arm like she was going to touch him but then she just closed her hand into a fist and the wind stopped altogether.  
\- What are you doing here?  
\- What are _you_ doing here?

She looked at the horizon and then took a timepiece out of a pocket on her dress to check the time, it looked like she was on a counting down.

That scene was familiar to Miles, somehow.

As the excellent observer he was, Miles started to try to think where he had seen—better yet; read—something like that but his thoughts kept on turning into _mind dust_ every two seconds and he couldn't get a hold of any of them. He was feeling very confused, actually.

Lil pressed a tiny button on the top of the golden small round timepiece and the wind started to blow, again.

But this time the grass disappeared and they were standing on sand. Just sand, like the desert. No sign of water, no sign of life. The heat was so bad that Miles could see dancing waves in front of his eyes and at some point he thought he had seen Alex, Matt, Jamie and Nick, on a line, walking in the distance. Miles even took a step in their direction but they disappeared on the instant he did that.

 _A mirage_.

Lil was staring at the horizon, again.

She nodded slightly and put the timepiece back in the pocket of her...

Lil's blue dress had been replaced by a longer, heavy, yellow-ish dress, as if her clothes were matching the scenario.

Her lips were chapped and the skin of her face had been burnt by the Sun. Her hair seemed... too dry, as if it could prick your fingers if you attempted to touch it. Behind her, the dirt was twirling in the air, like a dancing tornado.

\- What is happening?   
\- We're jumping through circles. - She replied, sitting on the ground, pulling the sleeve of her dress and stretching her arm out.

Waiting.

Miles' eyes followed when something started to move _underneath_ the sand, approaching them. He took a step back.

A black serpent came out of the sand.

It was about ten feet long but it was thin, it had small yellow eyes and a black tongue divided in two; like all the other serpents. The curious part is that it wasn't, not even remotely, interested in Miles, it did take a look at him but then it was like it had decided he didn't belong to that scenario and then turned its attention back to Lil's arm.

The serpent started to wrap its body around Lil's arm and at some point it started to squeeze it and Miles could hear, perfectly well, when the bones broke. Not too long after, like a magic trick the serpent started to turn into sand itself and fell off Lil's arm, its ashes were blown away by the wind.

Miles just didn't know what to do, what to say.

\- I never know when it is going to bite me or when its going to break my arm. - Lil said, looking at Miles. A few tears streaming down her eyes. - It's different every time.  
\- Does this happen often? - Miles asked, still a bit perplexed.   
\- Every sixteen hours.  
\- You just offered your arm to it. - He kneeled in front of her to wipe her tears away. - Why did you do it?   
\- It's just what I'm supposed to do. It's alright, I've been doing it for almost ten years, now.

 _Ten years._ Miles frowned a bit, looking around again.

He knew he had just thought of something but once more he had forgotten what it was.

Nothing but sand to be seen around them.

\- Oh! - She said and Miles looked at her, she had the timepiece in her hand again. - It's alright, we still have eight minutes. Come, it's better if we're under that tree when it starts.  
\- Tree? _What_ starts?

_There wasn't a tree, before. I'm completely sure about that._

Miles followed Lil to the tree and she threw the timepiece in the air. It didn't fall back.

\- Can you please explain to me what is happening? I can't just be following you around when I don't even know where I am.   
\- Keep quiet if you don't want them to gauge _your_ eyes out.   
\- What?

Miles was really disturbed by the state of Lil's arm. It was completely deformed but she seemed not to care at all.

It was like she was... used to that pain to a point it didn't really hurt anymore.

\- I was once stuck here for a whole month... - She whispered to him. - I couldn't find my eyes.

He was about to say something when something fell from the sky, with a heavy thud.

\- IS THAT AN EYE? - Miles yelled.

Lil put her hand over his mouth.

And then it started raining.

 _It started to rain eyes_.

And with the eyes came the vultures.

Millions and millions of vultures that would peck the eyes and swallow them at an impossible speed. The smell was just the worst Miles' had ever felt in his life.

It even topped the rotten smell he had to endure while he examined Norman's body.

_Norman... Suki. Austin._

Miles pushed away Lil's hand but then forgot what he wanted to say as soon as her eyes fell upon him, again.

\- Cover your ears. - She whispered to him.

Miles did as Lil had told him and looked to the woman by his left side.

Lil, whose arm was now normal again, clapped just once and that sound was so intense that made the earth shake and all the vultures fly at once. There wasn't one single eye left behind and the wind produced by the bird's wings when they flew away had erased any trace any of them had ever landed on that ground.

Lil started to walk away from the tree and again, Miles started to follow her.

In the middle of the open space—or so Miles thought that was the middle because the place was just so big that he could swear it actually had no end—there was now a tap. Lil opened it and it gurgled for about thirty seconds until a red thick liquid started to come out of the pipe.

\- What is this? - Miles asked as Lil shaped her hands like a bowl under the tap and then took them to her mouth.  
\- Don't you know blood anymore? - She asked him as if that was the most common thing in the world.

Or at least in _her_ world.

\- I just don't know from whom it is coming, this time. It could be Simon's for all I know, I guess I'm past the point of caring.  
\- Stop this! - Miles pulled Lil away from the tap and hugged her.   
\- Do you want me to die of thirst? - She asked him.   
\- What have you become? What did they turn you into? - He was looking into her eyes, now. Almost crying, himself. He closed his eyes for a moment.

Her skin was so hot against his.

It was like she was burning.

_An actual pyre._

And suddenly she was gone.

The only familiar _thing_ about all of that was gone.

Miles opened his eyes very slowly.

On the immensity of the space, on the farthest end of the lowland, the _Arctic_ was being consumed by fire. The flames were so high that they could almost lick the slow white clouds that were always cruising in the sky, arranged in what it seemed to be a pattern; all of them had the same size and shape, moved at the same speed and direction.

Suddenly Miles noticed he was on the top of a hill, his body threatening to roll down and he knew if that happened, he wouldn't be able to stop until he had been caught in the flames, too. Even though the _Arctic_ was so, so far away from him, he felt like it was actually closer than ever. It was like his mind and body were giving him different informations about the very same thing.

The scenario had changed, again.

Below Miles, let it be wherever he'd look at, there was now a sea of yellow, dry lovegrass, like they have in the savanna. A dreamy landscape desperately in need of some water.

\- Isn't this spot nice? - Lil asked Miles.

She had a thoughtful expression, like if she was thinking of something she had kept for herself for a long time.

\- They used to call it _Honey Hills_ because of the way the sunlight reflects on the grass, in the morning. I got to witness it many times but every time I get here while it's happening, I can't help it but to be amazed. And it's also the best place I've ever been to watch the rain. - She looked at Miles from the corner of her eye. - _Normal_ rain, that is.

By now Miles was sitting on the ground instead of laying on it. He had his elbows resting on his knees and was relieved to stop feeling like he was gonna fall and end up burning to death. The wind felt very nice and fresh against his skin; the very opposite of Lil's body.

\- What is this place? - He asked, touching her hand and pulling it down so she could sit by his side.   
\- Another circle. My favorite one, actually. Even though it's very dry, the wind still blows nicely and sometimes it rains, too. I get to drink anything other than...

_Blood._

_-_ And I get to spend more time here than I do in any other circle. I know you don't see anything special about this place but it's not after some time that the eye starts to capture the details.   
\- What are these circles? Why are you in them?  
\- I don't know. - She said.

And Miles could see that was true.

\- I woke up and then I was here. Alone. I don't have anyone to ask what these places are. In what _city_ I'm in and why do I get to travel so fast from one place to the next one... when I'll be able to go back home. And most importantly why I do keep going back to the same places over and over. How do I get there... but maybe... maybe now I'm getting a little closer to understanding it.   
\- Why's that?

Both Miles and Lil watched as the roof of the _Arctic_ collapsed with a deafening sound.

It sounded like the sky was being cut in half by a giant scissor.

The fire had never looked so _angry_ before. So thirsty for destruction.

\- The _Arctic_ had never been here before. It's only here because you are. I don't understand why it is on fire... but it must mean something.  
\- I set fire to it. - Miles was actually surprised by that affirmation as if his brain had been blocking that fact all along since that man had opened his eyes for the first time, in whatever that place was.  
\- I thought you loved that pub. - Lil said.

But Miles didn't hear her.

He was on the brink of grabbing the rope his memories had been tied to and thrown into the quiet, slow river his mind had become. He could have described that sensation as "slow motion" if such thing already existed.

It felt like he was going insane.

The more he tried to focus on anything and come up with some rational thoughts, the more he would fail and everything would keep on disappearing into thin air right when he thought he had everything on the tip of his tongue.

\- The others... - Miles started.

Even though that wasn't exactly what he wanted to talk about on that moment.

\- I don't get to see much of them. We're never at the same place at the same time. And if that happens, as soon as we touch, one of us is sent to another circle. Like some kind of punishment.  
\- Is this Hell? - Miles frowned.

He was actually asking that question to _himself._

\- If it were, I would know.

The air around them had changed its _mind_. Now the atmosphere was dense and it was hard to breath. The smoke from the fire wasn't going up and up, straight to the sky, anymore. It looked like it was hitting an obstacle and changing it's course, moving sideways, filling up the whole space. Like an octopus stretching its tentacles.

As if the space was actually inside of an invisible box.

Miles noticed Lil's clothes had changed, again.

Now she was wearing a full black dress, as if it was an extension of the smoke approaching them. And by then he was pretty sure that she wasn't aware of the changes.

 _Maybe it's just the way_ I _am imagining her._

She was checking the time, again.

\- It's been six minutes since you've arrived. - She told Miles.

He frowned.

He had watched the Sun go down and up again, behind the _Arctic_ so it was impossible he had been there for _only_ six minutes.

Miles' hands were sweating and he was trying to wipe them on the grass. His touch had become cold and it was getting harder and harder to breath, like sand bags had been put on his chest, pressing it down, not allowing his lungs to move properly.

It was impossible to focus on anything by now so Miles just closed his eyes and tried, harder than ever, to ignore the awful sensation of the grass biting his skin. It felt like it had thousands of fingers touching him at the same time, all over his back and neck.

An _awful_ feeling.

Shivers went down his spine, causing the hair on his arms to raise.

\- _What is happening?_

Another familiar voice made its way into Miles' ears.

\- _I don't know. -_ Lil replied. - _Miles is here._  
\- _Miles_? _Is he..._  
 _\- Dead? No. But he could be... very soon._  
 _\- Aren't you gonna warn him about the fire?_  
 _\- I saw Alex, earlier. He thinks he's getting married. -_ Lil changed the subject.  
 _\- Again?_  
 _\- Did he ever stop? He was asking Miles to help him, I had to intervene before he realized something._  
 _\- Always so clueless, always so guilty. I'm sorry for him... How many minutes left?_  
 _\- Five... I wish I could give you a hug but I'm afraid I'll be the one to go away and then Miles will be here alone._  
 _\- I wanted that too... but maybe next time._  
 _\- If only it wasn't gonna take so long..._  
 _\- I know, dear. I miss you, too._

And then Nick grabbed a blade of grass and started to stroke Lil's face with it, since they couldn't touch each other. She smiled a bit for it tickled.

\- _Two minutes, now. -_ She told him.   
\- _You should wake him up. I know he loves you but it should be his choice._  
 _\- Yeah, I... -_ She turned around to look at Miles on the floor _. - He looks tired, doesn't he? I don't think they're treating him well._   
\- _Darling..._  
\- _Yes_. _You're right._

She sighed and took a step towards Miles.

He still had his eyes closed but was restless.

\- Hope to see you again, soon. - She told Nick.

Her voice was nearer, now.

Miles heard a noise like someone was stepping on dry leaves. Only that the noise was so loud that made him feel like his eardrums were going to explode and after the noise was gone, he was left with a high pitched echo piercing his ears.

And the heat.

_The unbearable heat._

\- Wake up, love.

And the next time Miles did open his eyes, he was totally sure Lil's voice existed only in the back of his head.

It took him a full minute to realize the heat he had been feeling approaching, was actually real.

The train was on fire.  
All the wagons burning bright in the night. Big silhouettes being engulfed by the fire. And Miles, whose mother was really worried was gonna grow up to be a pyromaniac or arsonist, was now terrified of the nearing flames.

\- I got to... move.

In Miles' mind he was running

In reality he was crawling an inch per minute.

His limbs were shaking and he couldn't see much in the dark. The "floating sensation" wouldn't go away and the thoughts still weren't reachable.

Miles started to cry out of frustration as he continued to drag his body to safety.

\- Why don't you just give up? - Lil asked.

He could see her feet walking by his side while he crawled.

_Yeah... why don't I just..._

\- What the fuck are you doing 'ere?  
\- Can't you stop treating me this way? I'm just trying to help.   
\- Help? - He could barely make his voice to be heard, just that demanded a huge effort and made Miles feel extremely breathless. - How come?   
\- Do you remember what you thought of doing right after you found out I had been killed?

_No! Not her! No... you're lying! Why is this happening? Oh my God why is this happening? Why..._

_Miles' eyes fell upon an officer's gun and he had never been more sure that he would have grabbed it, shot everyone in that room and then shot himself right after if his ankle wasn't chained to a wall. Anything but that pain he was feeling._

_Anything._

_-_ I would never... take my life because of some... woman.   
\- That's true. But both you and I know I'm not _some_ woman. - She crouched near him and touched his face. - I'm your wife.

 _You're my wife now and I'd like you to feel comfortable in that position._ He had told Suki, on the train to their "honeymoon".

\- ... Suki. - It just escaped his lips.  
\- That is just rude, Miles. You've never even loved her! Darling, - She made him turn his face to her. - it could be like before, you could just stop now and then come with me right after. _Together._  
\- Let go of me.   
\- Stop staring at me, then. - She said, getting up again.

Miles' progress had been tiny but it meant staying alive another half minute or so. His mind was still spiraling inwards, not giving him anything he could actually use.

And it only got worse every time he saw Lil's feet taking another step.

\- Please. - He whispered.   
\- I've woken you up so you could choose to stay with me. Why don't you want to stay? - She sounded hurt. - I love you so much.  
\- Stop.  
\- You said you would never get tired of me.  
\- 'til death do us part.  
\- So you're tired of me now _just_ because I'm dead? I'm offering you a way we could be together again.  
\- Are you listening... to yourself?

It was essential to focus on breathing but the things Lil was saying were just too much for Miles just to stay silent.

\- Keep in mind that every move you make you're actually moving farther away from _me_.   
\- Exactly.   
\- Darling, I've been waiting for you for almost ten years. Going from circle to circle.

Miles shut up and kept on crawling until he rolled down a slant and stopped, laying on his front.

He thought he had fractured a rib.

Or two.

His eyes were so heavy—and if there was something heavier than heavy, then his eyes would be it.

And for a moment Miles did wish he was dead so he wouldn't have to have _lived_ the following events.

During all of his early life, Miles had been someone very easy to impress. First by his own father and then by his teenage friends. Looking back at it now, everything Miles had done in his life was because someone close to him did it first and he didn't want to feel like an outsider, he wanted to go through all of the experiences his friends were going through and then have real things to talk about with them.

But that didn't include murder.

On the day Miles accidentally killed that clerk, he didn't even want to be there, the money he had previously _earned_ to help his mother hadn't been all spent and that meant he could have a few days off until the next _job._ And yet he had been convinced by a "friend" that money was never enough and that it was going to be quick and easy. And then they were in that shop, Miles was pointing the gun to the clerk while his friend grabbed all the money and occasionally hit the young man, maybe Miles' own age, in his face with the end of his blunt knife and occasional punches.

 _There's no need for that._ Miles thought.

And while Miles was thinking, the clerk tried to reach out to grab his gun. But he failed. And Miles' friend was angry.

_\- Shoot him!_   
_\- No... we have the money. Let's just go._   
_\- Shoot him, Miles!_

His friend was standing next to him, now. Not screaming, but demanding in a whisper that Miles would shoot the clerk.

_\- Let's just go._

But Miles had his gun still aimed at the boy in front of him and right when he was about to lower his arm, the little bell that announced someone had come into the store, rang and scared Miles.

His finger slipped and he did shoot the clerk.

Both Miles and his friend ran out the back door.

Miles' friend didn't seem to care, at all, that they had just robbed and killed someone, but Miles was actually disturbed and disappointed he had been the one to do that. And then he got home and just sunk into his bed for days and days.

Eventually he decided to tell his mother because he thought if she could forgive her, then he could maybe try to move on.

Of course Pauline was shocked and saddened _her_ _son_ had done something so terrible. She told him she was going to send him away for she didn't want him to end up dead in a ditch or involved with any gangs. She made him promise her that he would never touch a gun again and that in a new country, he would get a real job and be a better man. In her mind she knew that the right thing to do was to turn him in but her heart would never allow her to do such thing.

He promised that to her.

And broke that promise not even a whole year later.

Maybe it's wise to say that it had _really_ been self-defense, when he shot and killed his second victim, but he broke the promise the moment he decided to carry another gun around. And broke it twice when he realized he had really _enjoyed_ killing that man.

That's why he wasn't _shocked_ when Lil didn't feel awful after she killed Tom. He actually understood it perfectly well.

And speaking of Lil, Miles really went from bed to bed the moment he stepped on American soil.

Everything was so different from his hometown; bigger, better, shinier, louder, vulgar. Easy.

He felt like America was the Devil's playground on Earth.

And then since he didn't have any place to sleep and realized the ladies there were curious about his accent, a very young Miles decided he could really sleep with them and have some fun in the process of looking for shelter.

It wasn't until he had fallen in love for the first time that that stopped. And it wasn't until he had to run away from Los Angeles that he decided he would really try to become a better man so he could go back there and marry that girl, spend the rest of his life with her.

But it was too late to start improving himself by then and when Miles did go back to LA, a few years later, the girl was all smiles and kisses with another guy. Married to another someone.

On the train back to Florida he met a bunch of British guys and the rest is history.

**1922**

\- 6 minutes. That's a record for you, Jamie. - Lil said, congratulating Jamie while glancing at the clock.  
\- It took me only four! Haha! Suck my d—  
\- MATT! - All the boys yelled at the same time.   
\- Come on, there's a lady in here. - Nick complained.   
\- I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Lil. - Matt apologized.  
\- It's alright. - Lil said, with one of her hands over her eyes and the other one resting on her waist. - So this is it. Matt has the shortest time, so far. Nick's just below him.  
\- Let's go again. - Alex said, sitting down on one of the chairs and putting his arms behind his back.

And then it was their time to be tied up, again.

Nick tied Alex to his chair, Matt tied Jamie and Lil tied Miles.

\- A'ight, go.

After a few minutes, Alex was the first one to free himself. Miles was the next one, just seconds after Alex and Matt took a minute longer.

They switched places again.

And when it was time for Lil to tie Miles up, again, she really worked on that knot for him had been staring at her while she tried to free her hands from the rope.

It was like he was mocking her with his eyes.

\- Alright, go. - She said.

And then again Nick was the first to free himself. Two minutes later it was Matt's time.

Seven minutes went by and Miles was still tied up.

\- Come on, Miles! - Jamie went behind him to take a look on the knot.  
\- I'm trying.   
\- Untie him, already. - Alex said, watching Miles from a stool by the bar.   
\- No, no. Leave it, I'm almost free.  
\- You're really not. - Jamie said.  
\- Shut up, Jamie.

And then they all gave up watching Miles and went back to practice freeing themselves from any knot that could be used to hold them still as captives.

A whole hour passed and Miles still wasn't free.

\- No, leave it! - He'd tell anyone who would suggest untying his knot for him.   
\- We're leaving, Miles.  
\- A'ight, see ye tomorrow.   
\- But y—  
\- If he wants to stay then leave him be. -Nick told Alex, interrupting him.   
\- You can't stay here alone, Miles. You know we can't be by ourselves. - Alex tried to reason.  
\- I ain't gonna be here all night, it's a'ight. I'm almost free.   
\- You really aren't. - Jamie said, inspecting the knot, again.  
\- Shut up, Jamie.   
\- I'll stay with him. It's my knot, anyway. - Lil said, walking towards the group.  
\- I don't think it's a good idea. - Matt told her.   
\- I ain't gonna kill him, guys. If he doesn't wanna any help then I'll just sit by the bar and wait until he gets tired and gives up or frees himself. Don't worry.   
\- There's absolutely no need for that, Miles. - Jamie said. - You're just being ridiculous with your elephant sized ego, now.   
\- What if I were really tied to a chair somewhere dangerous? Isn't it what this exercise is about? I need to free myself even if it takes a whole week.  
\- We'll be back in the morning to check on you. - Nick told Lil. - Phone me 'ouse if ye need anything.   
\- Will do. Thanks, love.

The only reason Nick would always tell her to phone him is because Lil would always smile widely whenever she saw Nick, didn't matter how many times he'd walk by her. She held him dear the same way he held her dear and sometimes the boys would grow jealous of the both of them because she would pamper Nick much more than she would pamper the others. It was like Nick had this idea Lil was indeed his younger sister and Lil had the same idea about him being her youngest.

\- A'ight, let's go home. - Jamie told everyone.

The boys told their goodbyes to Lil and Miles and left.

She walked towards the bar and sat on it instead of on a stool. Sighed.

\- You can go home, too.   
\- Yeah, I could. But then I wouldn't be able to watch you failing to set yourself free.  
\- What is this knot?   
\- Oh, you don't know this one.   
\- I thought so. You're full of tricks.  
\- Mhm...

Another hour passed.

Lil had gone into the kitchen and then back to the bar. Walked on the stage and tickled the ivories of the piano, lied down on the floor.

\- So... how's it going? - She asked.  
\- Doesn't seem to be working if I'm being really honest... but I'll keep on trying for another hour or so.  
\- Another hour or so? And then what?  
\- Then you untie me.  
\- The boys suggested that before they left and you said you didn't want it.  
\- Yeah, but you're the reason I'm still 'ere.

Lil shrugged in response.

Silence fell upon the room when she went to the kitchen, again. And even though he hadn't been left alone for more than a few minutes, Miles thanked the ruler of the universe that she was there. The _Arctic_ hadn't been built for one soul alone, it had to be pairs, always.

\- Thirsty? - She asked, sitting on the floor in front of him with her legs crossed and putting two glasses full of water between the two of them.  
\- A bit, yeah.  
\- I'm sorry. - She said but didn't move.

Miles frowned at the glasses.

\- What was it? - She asked upon noticing that.  
\- You... no, nothing. Nothing.  
\- How was your day? - She asked.

_What is she doing?_

\- Why do you want to know?  
\- I don't, actually. It's just how people make small talk, isn't it?   
\- I think so.... How was your day? - He asked her after a few moments of silence.

She smiled a bit, looking down.

\- You really want to know?   
\- I think so. - He shrugged.  
\- Well, I... - She started to scratch the lobe of her right ear and then took both earrings off before continuing. - I didn't do much, actually. I overslept, if I'm being really honest.   
\- _You_ overslept?

She just nodded at him, in an apologetic way it seemed.

\- Then I went to buy some books and then I came here and here I still am.   
\- When do you find time to read?   
\- Can't quite sleep these days.

And at that moment, Miles felt the knot coming undone and knew his hands were finally free but he held the rope in its place so he could just keep on talking to Lil.

It was actually rare, moments like those, when they were alone but not fighting.

\- Why's that? - He hurried off to ask.  
\- I don't know. It just feels like the more tired I am, the worse I'll sleep... if that makes any sense. - She glanced over to the clock, again. - Three hours, now.   
\- It does, actually. - He just ignored the information about how much time had passed.   
\- Yeah. So, how's it going?  
\- Still tied up, totally tied up. - He pretended he couldn't move his hands. - Yeah.  
\- Mhm... - Lil rested her chin on her left hand.   
\- So, you were saying?  
\- Oh, no. It was just that.  
\- Can I ask you something?

She looked at him.

\- Yeah. - She nodded.  
\- Why two glasses of water?   
\- Well, one's for you when you finally let me untie you and one's for me when you _finally_ let me untie you.

Miles laughed a bit.

\- Why don't you just drink yours?   
\- I had one in the kitchen not long ago, actually. I just thought of bringing another one for myself because... yeah, I actually don't know why. - She said, laughing a bit at the same time she frowned upon realizing she _really_ didn't know why.   
\- You can't even think straight, anymore. Should've gone home. - Miles felt like even though he was enjoying that moment, he should just tell her he had "just"managed to untie himself so she could go home and try to sleep a bit. - Oh, look I—  
\- It's alright, it's not like anyone's waiting for me, anyway. - She interrupted him.

Now she was drawing invisible circles with her index finger on the linoleum.

Miles didn't say anything about that; he could've never ever anticipated _the_ very answer she gave him..

\- So it's alright here. - She added.

Lil didn't notice she was being held under Miles' microscope and whenever he did that, then he could _really_ read someone he knew, no matter how many times they'd tell him they were fine. If there was something wrong, he would just know.

\- What's wrong?  
\- I don't... know. - She looked at his face almost as if she was aware of his "powers" and wanted him to know she was telling the truth.

 _That's true. If you knew I would know._ He thought, looking into her eyes.

She turned her attention back to the linoleum.

\- Just... if you figure it out, sometime, and you think I can help just...  
\- Thank you. - She said as if she didn't like where that talk was leading them to.

He noticed.

\- Did I ever tell you the story of when I had to run away from an ox, back in England?  
\- What? - Lil asked and laughed. - This is the _most_ random thing you could be talking about right now.  
\- Yeah. A'ight, I'll tell you about it, then.

And then after Miles was nearly finished with telling her that story, his mind was already desperately searching for another one he could use and then another one and another one.

By the end of the third story shared, Lil was lying on her back, the glasses of water had been moved to the side where she couldn't accidentally knock them over, and she had after laughter tears streaming down her face.

It was really a delicious sight for Miles' eyes.

He was happy _he,_ undoubtedly, had been able to make her irradiate any thing other than hate, around him.

By the middle of the fourth story, Miles watched as Lil's eyes got heavier at the same time she would occasionally chuckle at the impossible situations he was reporting to her, and then she just fell asleep on the floor, by his feet.

Miles then let go of the rope and reached for his glass of water, for he was really thirsty by now, and just kept staring at Lil for a moment until he realized that what he was doing was actually really _creepy_ and decided to wake her up so she could go home.

\- Darling? - He touched her arm very softly. It took him three attempts until she really opened her eyes.   
\- What's happening?  
\- You fell asleep on the floor. I managed to free myself so it's time we go home. - He backed up a bit at the same time Lil adjusted her position and was now sitting on the floor rather than laying on it.   
\- What time is it?   
\- Three in the morning.   
\- Already? My God, - She yawned. - I'm so sleepy. - She had closed her eyes again. - Just go home, Miles. I'll sleep here, in the backroom, I mean. See you later.  
\- Do you remember the reason you are here, in the first place?

She looked at him.

\- So you wouldn't be here alo— Right. - She sighed. - It's just that I'm so tired out of a sudden. - She got up. - How did you manage to free yourself from my knot?  
\- I 'ave no idea. It'd take me a few hours to replicate the escape.

She smiled a cocky smile.

\- If someday you're kidnapped then remind me to teach your captors how to tie a proper knot so you won't ever escape. - By now she was searching around the bar for her purse.  
\- It took me a few hours but I did free myself so stop keeping your hopes up that someday, somebody is gonna be good enough to actually stop me from going anywhere.- Miles told her.   
\- Well, _for a few hours_ that was me, right?

He rolled his eyes dramatically and smiled a bit at the same time she went past him to check if all the lights had really been turned off and the doors were all locked.

\- Ready to go? - He asked her after he put the chair and the two glasses of water away.   
\- Yeah. I see you tomorrow.  
\- Actually, it's late so I thought I could walk you up to the hotel... if you allow me.  
\- If I don't then you'll just follow me around, anyway. - She eyed him, playfully. - Let's get going, then.

They were talking about the books Lil had bought for herself when out of the sudden she gasped and the conversation was interrupted.

\- What was it? - Miles asked, taking a step towards her and squinting his eyes, looking around.   
\- What's today's date? - Her focus seemed to be on something completely different from that street.  
\- ...it's the seventeenth.  
\- Oh. - She exhaled and then whispered. - Thank God.

Both fell silent after that.

\- Something...

_Wrong?_

\- No, it's just someone I have to meet up with the day after tomorr—well, today. It's alright. - She explained.  
\- Right.

They walked for a few more minutes.

And after remembering about that meeting, it was like Lil's mind had been going to and from one same thought.

When Miles bid her farewell at the hotel's entrance, she left really quick and he noticed he was actually heartbroken over how their night had ended. Somehow, in the back of his mind, he thought the two of them could really get along and become good friends if they really tried.

And even further back on his mind, lied the sure fact that Miles didn't want them to be just _friends._

Which was something he couldn't accept had been roaming around his head.

**Seven hours since the train stopped.**

Miles was back somewhere he knew very well.

The road, the Sun, and Lil wearing her wedding dress under the huge tree.

The only thing that was different was that Lil was lying on the floor instead of standing on her feet.

He ran towards her—he didn't know why he was feeling in such a hurry, he just was—and when he approached her, he had tears streaming down his face.

She was dead.

Her eyes were open and it looked like she was staring right at him didn't matter what direction he moved. Something had happened to her just before Miles got there, or so he thought, and he couldn't help but to feel like he was the one to blame.

 _If only I had arrived earlier._ He thought.

He sat down on the floor and pulled her into his arms.

All of a sudden he had started to think like _all that_ was his fault, again. It felt like feeling anything other than guilt was just wrong and also impossible. He closed his eyes.

\- Please, let me pass. - A voice whispered.

Miles' eyes were shot open and he saw Lil standing in front of him. He immediately got up too.

Didn't even remember he had been "holding" her just seconds before, it was like he had been jumping from one scenario to the next one in his own mind but forgetting about the last one right after it had changed.   
Absolutely _all_ of that felt like reality.

Every detail.

\- Please. - She cried, pointing her gun at him.  
\- I'm not doing anything. Darling, I'm not—  
\- Drop your gun!

Someone shouted from behind Miles' back.

He turned around just before the group of police officers opened fire.

He felt his heart jump when he thought he was going to die from those bullet wounds, too.

But then he just heard a thud and when his figure turned to look at Lil, she was on the floor again, just like he had first found her.

But this time there was blood.

Lots of it.

Miles felt such a desperation growing inside of him that he thought that even though he had _survived_ getting shot, he would just die from a heart break. His feelings reverberating, loud, intensified out of proportion. The blood pounding in his ears. The cold sweat damping his forehead.

He grabbed the gun from Lil's hand and started to shoot at the officers.

Nothing happened.

They all just went past Miles, _through_ his body, as if he wasn't even there, as if he was a ghost.

_A ghost._

\- Put her in the car. - One of the officers told the others.  
\- LET GO OF HER. _LET GO_!!! - He tried to push those men away from the person he loved the most in the world. As if during his whole life it had been _only_ the two of them the ones to inhabit the Earth.   
\- Hold on a second, guys. - One of the officers said.

Miles looked around with big eyes, wondering if those people had really heard him. If they would finally let go of her.

\- Put her down. - The officer paused for a moment. - Drag her.   
\- NO! - Miles screamed.

Lil's body was dropped and they started to drag it by the arms.

\- LET GO OF HER!

But didn't matter how much or how loud Miles would scream, no one seemed to hear him.

He fell on his knees when those men drove away with the body in the police car.

After a few moments of confusion, Miles started to hear someone yelling.

\- I TOLD HIM! - Alex was angry.   
\- We all did, Alex. - Jamie reinforced.   
\- What we do, now? - Matt asked everyone.   
\- Hey, guys. Wha— Miles walked towards the table Alex, Nick, Jamie and Matt were sitting on.

They were at the _Arctic,_ again _._ And outside Miles could hear it was raining.

\- We kill her. - Nick said.  
\- What!? - Miles asked, alarmed. - We can't kill women.  
\- The police didn't come 'ere looking for her, anyway. - Alex shrugged.  
\- Just put a bullet on her head before she learns too much about us. - Jamie said, lighting up a cigarette.  
\- Bullets are always too messy, we should just strangle her. - Nick said.  
\- WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?

And again, no one could hear Miles' shouts.

\- I told Miles we would solve this matter but he didn't listen to me. - Matt said.  
\- Where's he, now?   
\- Somewhere in the back, going through the cellar. - Alex told the others.   
\- Do you think he's going to support our decision or—  
\- I don't care what he's going to do, Jamie. Alex has told Miles several times; don't let anyone know about the business. No one can know about the business. And then what did he do? He took her on a tour around the fucking pub. It's like he was begging for us to _put her out_ because he regrets saving her. - Nick said.  
\- Guys, listen to me! I'm 'ere, I'M RIGHT HERE, GODDAMNIT! I don't regret anything, look at me! - Miles was waving his hands in front of his friend's faces.  
\- That's it, we kill her before it's too late. - Matt said.  
\- But if we're doing it, we 'ave to do it right _now_. - Jamie said.

All the boys turned their heads to look at Miles, at the same time.

Well, not exactly _at him_.

 _She's right behind me, isn't she?_ Miles thought before turning around, too.

This time his face was just inches away from Lil's face and he could see every pore on her smooth skin. Her pupils widening as she realized they were talking about her.

Would be a lie to say time seemed to freeze. But it did feel like a whole year had passed between the moment Miles thought of telling her to run and the moment _they_ got a hold of her.

And then for a split second it looked like she was staring right into Miles' eyes with her own eyes full of disappointments.

 _It took me too long to tell her anything._ It was what went around Miles' mind.

\- No! - She would beg with inhuman screams. Kicking the air in an attempt to be let go. - Let go of me!

But the boys were adamant and it didn't matter how much she would scream; they didn't seem to be bothered by it. It didn't matter how much Miles tried to unwrap their fingers around her arms.

It didn't matter.

It was too late.

\- Let go of me! - She screamed again. - _Miles_! Help! Stop!   
\- No... - Miles froze, in shock.

He was the only one who wasn't plotting to kill her and then executing the plan, yet he couldn't do anything to save her even though he was her last hope. She had trust in him even at times like that.

And then Nick wrapped the piece of rope he had in his hands, around her neck and the screaming stopped as she tried to fight for air.

A few minutes later her heart came to a halt, too.

Miles had been reduced to a shadowof everything he used to be before he watched that scene.

\- Why? - He asked the others. - She loved you. - He looked at Nick.  
\- It was your fault, Miles. - Alex pressed his index finger against his friend's chest.

And magically they all could see him, now.

\- And where the fuck were you, anyway? If you were 'ere you could 'ave saved her. You could 'ave saved _all_ of us. - Jamie told him, bumping his shoulder against Miles' shoulder and almost tripping him over.

Miles tried to divert his attention to any place else but from the face of his friends or the woman's body.

Once death comes, it never goes away.  
He'll be always touching you, reminding you that someday he'll come for you too.

His eyes fell upon two glasses of water on the floor.

\- This is not real. - He whispered to himself.

He thought he could taste that water on the tip of his tongue, somehow. And it tasted like mud.

Miles started to cough violently; _in real life._

He gasped and hurried to sit straight, in an attempt to breath a bit better.

Inhaling with difficulty, gasping for his life.

Miles looked around and saw the silhouette of the train in the distance. It had started to rain.

The dizziness he had been feeling was way worse now and he was feeling so cold that he thought that if he touched something, _or someone,_ he could actually freeze them. He felt like he was going to throw up.

\- What was it? You were saying something.   
\- You're not real. - Miles shook his head and coughed a bit more.  
\- Oh, right.

The sensation of the water falling on his skin, drop by drop, repeatedly, made Miles want to rip his skin off or hit his head on something and pass out, again. It was just unbearable.

He started to crawl in an useless attempt to get out of the rain.

\- Stop crawling, you didn't even get shot. Look again.

And it was true.

The bullet hadn't gone through Miles' calf. It barely grazed his leg.

He had passed out because the graze did cause him to lose his balance and he fell, hitting his head on the ground. The only things hurting were his sprained ankle, his hands and his head. The wind whispering hopeless lies in his ears.

\- I'm too dizzy to walk WHY AM I TALKING TO YOU?   
\- I don't know, Miles.  
\- You're just inside of my head. I look at you and I can't see any of your details.

He was looking at her, standing next to him, soaking wet. Her hair was glued to her face and at some point he had started to wait for some lightning to strike him as he watched the curves of her lips go up, her mind on the deep end of wickedness. He didn't quite like lightning.

She had always loved them.

\- Of course I am. And of course you can't, if two people standing by the both sizes of our bodies already see us differently, imagine trying to control how you are perceived by someone else's mind. I can't control how you see me, my love.  
\- Do me a favour... - Miles got up and tried to take a few steps but he was shaking too much so he went back to crawling. - and go back to wherever the fuck you were hiding. This is getting tiring and redundant.  
\- You know why I'm here.   
\- I'm not going to die. - He dismissed her. - I 'ave to go back home.  
\- Are you not? Did it cross your mind that those men could come back here to try to ambush the police when they learn about the train and come to inspect it? Of course they wouldn't want to use you against them because you don't mean shit to the police and they don't care if you live or die.

That was true.

\- I gotta... get away from here. - Miles had never hated the rain so much.  
\- I'd rather you stayed. - She paused. - Are you even paying attention to me? Miles, I'm talking to you. What do I have to do so you'll look at me? Die?  
\- STOP DYING ON ME! - He was terrified of that possibility.  
\- I DIED BECAUSE OF YOU! - She screamed at his face.  
\- No! You died because _you_ didn't let me help you! You died because _you_ didn't trust me! And I'm tired of being a coward, I'm tired of being _afraid_ of you! Of feeling like my existence itself is wrong. I AM DONE WITH YOU!   
\- I killed people for you. - She sounded hurt.  
\- That was your choice!   
\- Then you'd rather me to let Tom shoot you?  
\- Yes! Goddamnit, yes I would! It would 'ave spared me from crying over your death endless times, it would 'ave stopped me from feeling so fucking guilty for so many fucking years when I could 'ave been happy. YOU RUINED MY LIFE!   
\- Don't pin your frustrations on me! _You_ were the one who spent years swallowing cachets and lying on the bathroom floor, begging _me_ to come to see _you_! _You_ were the one who didn't want to move on! It was _you!_  
 _\- You_ kept turning my dreams into nightmares to a point I had to get high out of my fucking mind so I could pass out and sleep a few hours! _You're_ the reason I got addicted to sleeping powder, in the first place! It is your fault that I'm feeling like this, now.  
\- That is true. - She admitted, surprising Miles. - But it will be over before you even realize it, don't worry.   
\- What do you mean by that?   
\- You're sweating, you're cold, your blood pressure is really low, Miles. How long do you think it is going to take until your body gives up?   
\- You're preying on me like a vulture. - Miles said, disgusted. His mind was fighting against his body in an attempt for him to stay functional.  
\- It can be a bit of a shock but don't worry, I'll explain everything as soon as we get there.  
\- You're always giving me only half of the information.   
\- Do you really need me to paint it for you? I _am_ taking you with me, it doesn't matter you want it or not. It's sealed, Miles.  
\- I'm not dead and I'm not dying. I am hallucinating! - Miles laughed when he was finally able to get a hold of a thought and understanding what was happening, even though that didn't last very long. - Of course I am... if I were dead I... wouldn't...  
\- Yeah, and how do you know that? Have you been dead before? Do you know if the dead don't get cold, too? - She pointed at the hairs in his arms. - Why do you think you saw Alex when you had never ever seen him in all of these years?

And then Miles wasn't so sure anymore.

His body was missing that every day drug and Miles didn't have any cachets to feed his nerves with. The symptoms of abstinence were hitting him hard and mercilessly, catabolized by the stress of that situation, by _fear_. And if Lil pictured in his mind that he was dying, then he would feel like he was really dying.

\- I'm not dead. I can't be dead. I refused to be trapped inside one of your circles.  
\- Oh, and why is that?   
\- Because I'm not done yet. I promised my son I would never abandon him. - Miles tried to get up again and despite now shaking both because of the lack of drugs and the cold rain, he refused to fall back down again. - And it's not gonna be _you_ who's going to stop me from going back home to the people I love.   
\- I thought you loved _me_.   
\- I did. I loved you with my whole being. With my soul... - He started to cry. - it's time I let you go. It's time... I think I _hate_ you. I've never thought I'd live long enough to really hate you but here we are.  
\- You can't hate me, Miles. I'm the fury that keeps you going.

But Miles just kept focusing on taking step after step and walking towards the woods so he could sit there amongst the trees and wait for those symptoms to wear off in a safe place.

Lil kept protesting that Miles just couldn't leave her and Miles was trying his best not to pass out again.

\- You know what? - He said, after he had touched the first tree that separated the open space from the woods. - You're right. I _can't hate_ you because as I long as I hate you I will still care about you. And as long as I care about you then I'll never be free. - He meant to touch her face. - I don't care about you, _anymore_.

Those words hit Miles with such a strength that he could swear he felt his brain twitch. Those were things he had never acknowledged before.

A tiny moment of real lucidity was all it took to end that suffering that had been going on for so long.

\- I don't care about any of you, I don't care about what 'appened to you because it was never my fault. Nothing you do, nothing _you make me see,_ how many times you made me watch you die, nothing will convince me to give up, now. I don't want to carry around with me so much anger, ao much hate. I'm tired. - He inhaled sharply. - I won't come with you when I die... _you'll_ be coming with me because... - He put his hand down. He wouldn't be able to touch her because now he refused to believe she was really there. To the contrary of what he had been wishing for so long, now he didn't want her to be there. - you exist _only_ in my head. You 'ave no power over me. Not anymore.

Miles turned around and started to walk again, being swallowed by the dark of the woods.

He didn't dare to look back until he felt he couldn't fight his shaking legs anymore and really needed to sit down, and then he looked around to try to see if there wasn't any dangerous animals preying on him.

A smile took place on his lips when he didn't see any animals and didn't see Lil.

In his heart he knew it was over.

He was free.

The next battle Miles had to fight was with his own body. It took him thirty two hours just to stop shaking and five more until he could stop feeling so confused.

After Miles got a hold of all of his thoughts again, he went back to the limit of the woods and started to follow the railroad track from the distance, where he was sure no one could see him.

When Miles got to the next city he was thirsty, tired, hungry, sleepy and covered in bug bites. He had blisters on his feet and cuts in his hands. All the officers jumped when he walked into the police station in that small city in Alabama, for he was looking like he was someone's corpse that had just came back to life.

He demanded to be sent back to Miami and it didn't take long for all the officers back home knew Miles was fuming over being lied to and so they just tried to meet all of his demands as fast as they could. He also asked them not to inform _no one_ else he was coming back until they had made sure the train he was going to ride home had really got to Florida.

Didn't want to raise anyone's hopes in case he didn't really make it.

_My lungs and heart are still playing tricks on me._

On the train back home, for the first time in almost a decade, Miles finished his cigarette and went to sleep without fearing anything. In his heart he just knew, because it was feeling so much lighter now, that all of his ghosts were really gone and that he was really free to carry on his plans of moving away with Suki and Austin.

Start a new life for real, this time.

Go to see his mother in Germany, beg her to forgive him, one more time.

No more lies.

No hurting.

No violence.


	13. Wish

\- You really 'ave no fucking idea who you're messing with, do you? - Miles asked the chief of police. He was sitting on a chair in the man's office, in front of his desk.

Behind Miles, three police officers were ready to jump into action in case it was needed.

No one trusted him.

Specially because they knew Miles was never in a room with them; they were the ones in a room _with_ Miles.

\- I apologize. It wasn't meant to go down the way it did. - The chief acknowledged his stupidity and the risk he had taken upon himself when he played Miles like that.  
\- If you had let me know, it wouldn't 'ave. - Miles closed his hand into a fist and put his index finger by the side of his left eye. - What is it now that you insisted on talking to me?  
\- Thanks to you, we're about to arrest Al Capone. As we speak he's driving to Orlando and there's a convoy ready to intercept him on his way.   
\- Oh, really? - Miles squinted his eyes. He was beyond pissed. - I'll believe you after he's been arrested.   
\- As you wish. And as promised, we'll let you go, free of all charges.  
\- Fucking finally.  
\- Yes. It's going to be good for me too, to get rid of you. - The chief said, pushing a sheet and a pen towards Miles. - Read and sign this, please. It's the end of our contract.  
\- I might want my lawyer. - Miles said, pointing at the telephone.

Chief Crandall looked at Miles for a moment and then nodded at him.

After having made the phone call, Miles sat back on his chair.

\- He'll be here in twenty minutes, tops.  
\- There's no rush, actually. You could have just gone home and came back here tomorrow.   
\- I know, but I want to get home with some good news for my family.  
\- Speaking of them; what a stubborn wife you have. She was here all day everyday, demanding answers. I'm actually surprised she didn't show up yet.  
\- Yeah, so I've heard. But is she wrong, though? I don't think so. Poor thing must've been scared as hell.   
\- And maybe she'll turn up, again, in a few.   
\- I hope she doesn't because I want to surprise her, give her good news for once in my life. Anyway, where are you going to keep Capone and for how long?  
\- We plan to keep him here until people from Chicago come get him, it's not gonna take any longer than a day or two.   
\- A'ight. Well, I need to ask you a favour.   
\- Go on.  
\- I need five minutes alone with Capone. Just him and I. No cops. - Miles side eyed the officers in the room. - It's not a whim, actually it is really important, I just can't tell you anything about it.  
\- I know how much you hate him and I also know that's not a good idea.   
\- I ain't gonna kill him in the station.   
\- I don't trust you, Miles.   
\- Oh, really? I couldn't tell. - Miles pointed with his thumb to the officers behind him.

The chief sighed.

\- It's just five minutes. You can count it on your watch. - Miles insisted.  
\- What for?  
\- I can't tell you. - Miles shook his head. - Do it as a gesture that you're _really_ sorry about blatantly lying to me about the train's cargo and making me almost get shot and die and then I was lost in the fucking woods for almost four days and—  
\- Alright. - Crandall clicked his tongue. - Five minutes, not even a second longer.  
\- It's all I really need.

After being granted what he needed, Miles fell silent.

His mind was spiraling inwards and he was trying to avoid thinking about all the things he wanted to do to Al Capone, such as rip off the skin of his scalp and break his fingers one by one. And then he started to feel uncomfortable in his clothes as if the collar of his shirt was trying to strangle him.

Miles shook his head and wiped his sweaty palms on the fabric of his trousers.

_Cold sweat, Miles. You thought it was over, didn't you?_

\- Are you alright? - Crandall asked.  
\- Yes. I'm just tired. - Miles lied.

A few more minutes passed and Miles' lawyer arrived. They read the document Crandall had asked Miles to sign and found out Miles was really right not to have signed it for there was a clause obliging him to serve the force whenever they thought it was necessary, actually keeping him tied to the police forever and ever. That made Miles shoot a murdering glare to the Chief.

Another document was made and the lawyer assured Miles he could sign it this time.

When Miles stepped outside the station and said goodbye to his lawyer, he took a deep breath and then exhaled as a free man.

All of his debts had been paid off and it felt like the invisible iron ball that he'd been carrying around for so long was finally unchained from his ankle.

Now the only ropes refraining him were inside of his own head, still running in his veins.

The chemical traces of what he once thought it was _peace_.

Miles hailed a cab and asked to be taken home.

\- It's fine here. - He paid for the ride and got off the cab. He thought it was best to walk down the road so Austin and Suki wouldn't hear the car approaching and ruin the surprise.

From the distance he could see his home and that sight made his heart feel warm.

\- I thought I was never coming back 'ere. - He whispered to himself as he walked.

Miles was feeling like he used to feel nine years ago; anxious to get home and greet someone he loved.

For a moment Lil did cross his mind but instead of making him shiver, he just smiled at the memory of her standing on the porch with her hand hovering above her eyes to avoid the Sun getting in as she watched Miles approaching the house with a smile on her lips.

And then he noticed that moment wasn't about _her_ , but about all of the nostalgia coming home and having someone wrapping their arms around you would make you feel. It was about the place, it was about sharing a feeling with someone else.

Miles climbed the stairs of the porch and dug up the spare key Suki and him had agreed to hide in one of the plants' vases outside in case any of them lost their key and the other wasn't home to open the door. That hiding place was so dumb that no one would think it was something _Miles_ would choose.

The key was fit in the lock and the door opened with its characteristic creak.

Miles stopped by the door for a moment, waiting for Austin or Suki to walk into the living room and see him, welcome him back home.

But of course that didn't happen.

\- Oh, well. - He smiled a bit, disappointed, and closed the door behind him. - Hope they're home soon, at least.

Being really hungry, Miles didn't really pay attention to his surroundings. He just went into the kitchen to fix himself a sandwich or whatever that could keep him fed until he had showered and put on some of his own clothes.

He grabbed a banana from the fruit bowl and opened the fridge.

And then he frowned.

It had been turned off and it had nothing inside.

\- Is it broken? - He wondered out loud and then connected the plug to the jack. - Mhm... - He voiced when the fridge started to work normally.

Miles finished his banana and grabbed another one before going into his bedroom.

He browsed through his wardrobe and grabbed a fresh towel, too. And when he stepped in the shower, he could swear the water had never felt so good against his skin.

Miles was drying himself off with his towel when his eyes fell upon the thing hanging behind the bathroom door. All that time he had been so immersed in his own happiness that he forgot about the robe, completely.

And surprisingly, that didn't affect him as it used to.

He put his fresh clothes on and grabbed the robe, folded it gently and then stopped. Realized he didn't know what to do with it.

It had been hanging on the back of that door for almost nine years, after all.

Everything was still pretty new to him. It was new not to feel afraid, it was new not to feel guilty, it was new not to feel enraged. It was new not to feel _hurt._

It was new not to be in love with Lil, anymore.

Even if he would always hold her dearly.

\- Well... - He looked around, trying to figure out what to do.

He decided he would just put it on his side on the wardrobe and ask Suki what she would do if she were in his shoes, when she came back home.

_I should go out and buy some food but... what if they come back and I'm not here... I'm gonna give it an hour and then I'll go._

Miles decided he would take a nap.

But of course he overslept.

When Miles woke up, the night had started to fall. The air was a bit chilly.

\- Oh sh... - He put the watch back on the nightstand and got up. Washed his face and left the bathroom and then his bedroom.

_No one home..._

\- Maybe they're at Lexie's. - He thought out loud. - Well, I'll go down there.

Miles changed his clothes, again, and walked back into the living room to look for his jacket. And it was when he saw it.

The letter.

When Miles finished reading that letter he was left confused for a second for two reasons. The first one was why a letter addressed to him would be open and have one of Austin's toys on top of it? The second reason was why was there

_blood?_

When Miles turned the page he saw a red fingerprint on the back of it. It was just the tip of someone's finger but that was blood.

That was blood and he knew it.

Miles felt when his heart skipped a beat when he walked into the kitchen and _really_ looked around the room; several glasses and two of Suki's knives she used to keep in the knife block were now gone. The realization that something was wrong had hit him.

He let go of the letter and ran outside, straight to the shallow grave. He didn't even know why he ran there, he just did—like an instinct.

And then he could swear he didn't know how to breath anymore.

\- No... no, no, no. This can't be FUCKING HAPPENING! Think, Miles. Think! - He was looking around frantically, trying to find a clue or something that assured him whoever was inside that grave, now filled to the top with dirt, wasn't his family. - It can't be them. It's not them. Think! THINK!

He was shaking.

\- The list, the fucking list!

Miles ran back inside the house and went into his bedroom like a tornado. He opened _the_ drawer in the wardrobe and couldn't help his body from going weak with relief when he saw the list with the instructions was gone.

And then sorrow overcame him.

\- I'm sorry. I'm sorry... I'm...

Suki was the only person, besides Miles, to know about the existence of that list and if apparently nothing in the house had been taken away, that means she had followed Miles' instructions and buried someone in that grave.

She had _killed_ someone.

Miles started to cry from sheer frustration. He couldn't believe that was happening to him, again. And then all the happiness he had been feeling made room to the most bitter feeling, one that didn't have a name but hurt immensely.

He started to look around the house again, trying to make sure he had really understood what was going on. He calmed down a tiny bit when he checked the safe and saw that almost all of the money they kept in the house was gone. And so were the picture frames that used to be on the walls.

\- Turner 405, please. - He spoke into the phone. It ranged but no one picked up.   
\- I'm sorry, I can't seem to be able to connect you with Turner 405, sir. - The operator apologized.  
\- It's alright, thank you.

Miles put the telephone back in its place and sighed heavily.

Alexa was gone, too.

_I hope they're safe, now._

From the couch he was sitting on, Miles' eyes fell on the coffee table, more specifically on Austin's wooden toy.

_Why the moose?_

Miles' head started to feel light and he started to feel nauseous. The more he tried to think, the more he wouldn't guess anything. He felt when his mouth started to be filled with saliva and he walked into the main bathroom of the house just before his stomach pulled a prank on him.

\- At least I didn't eat a bunch of stuff.

He sat on the floor and rested his back against the tiled wall.

_Why can't it be over?_

His hand wiped his sweaty forehead. A dry mouth.

He licked his lips when he remembered he had a full bottle of Veronal in the cabinet of the bedrooms' bathroom. And it would be a lie to say he didn't get up and went there, faced himself into the mirror and opened the cabinet's door with a sweaty shaking hand.

_It could really help me out right now._

He thought as he wrapped his fingers around the bottle.

The _desire,_ the _need_ for one of those white cachets was real. And it was huge. Miles started to salivate again, but this time it wasn't because he was going to throw up.

In a brave gesture, Miles threw all the cachets in the toilet and flushed them as quickly as possible.

\- If that was a really good idea then I could be snorting cocaine off of a dancer's body just as well.

The small bottle, now emptied out, was thrown in the trash.

Miles' head started to pound.

In general he was feeling pretty awful both because his body was still missing the drugs and because now he was really alone. He didn't know where his son or friends were and somehow that felt worse than knowing they were dead because he had no guarantees they were doing fine, that no one was chasing them.

Of course he trusted Suki to take care of Austin, that's something not even worthy of a mention, but knowing that wouldn't help to soothe him and make him stop missing his boy.

\- Oh, Austin. I'm so sorry I'm such a horrible father. It feels like the more I try, the more I fail you. I thought that I could do better than my own father but look at me, now.

_I'm just the worst being in the world._

Miles started to feel a little dizzy and then he went back to the living room and laid down on the couch.

_Why is this moose here?_

He reached out for the toy.

Miles closed his eyes and forced himself to think. He always thought that if he'd force himself to think, then he'd be able to remember anything, to come up with the solutions he needed to get rid of any problems. He felt like if he didn't that he'd been just being lazy or he wasn't trying hard enough.

He didn't accepthis mind failing him.

_Why a moose?_

And then he remembered something that had happened a long time before, in 1919.

_\- Why the long face, Nick? - Matt asked._   
_\- I don't know..._   
_\- You're strange since we left the theater, yesterday. - Miles said._   
_\- It's just... No, forget it._   
_\- What was it? - Alex asked, trying to get Nick to talk._

_Nick sighed before speaking again._

_\- Why did they have to kill so many moose?_   
_\- You've got to be kidding. - Jamie said, resting his hands on his waist._   
_\- I mean, - Nick continued. - those men weren't starving or anything... You guys know I'm not too fond of killing animals for fun._   
_\- Nick, it was a movie. I don't think they killed anything. - Miles said._   
_\- I don't know... it still bothers me, somehow._   
_\- Do you think there are animals that are actors? - Alex wondered._   
_\- What? - Matt asked._   
_\- Animals... like, people who act... but animals. - Alex tried to explain._   
_\- I fucking know what an animal is. - Matt said._   
_\- I don't think so but you could be the first monkey to star in a movie if you try hard enough. - Jamie remarked. The others laughed a bit._   
_\- I wouldn't worry too much about it, Nick. - Miles said, again. - I don't think they really killed those moose. I mean, if they got it wrong they'd 'ave to re-do the scene and I don't think a bunch moose would just stand there, waiting to be shot dead after they saw other moose get shot. I'm sure there's some trick they use that we don't know._   
_\- Maybe... - Nick wondered._   
_\- Yeah, that's true. - Matt agreed._   
_\- And besides, Canadians are too polite to just be shooting anything. - Jamie added._   
_\- Yep, I wouldn't trust those wussies to hurt a fucking fly. - Miles said._   
_\- Yeah... I think you guys are right. - Nick shook his head, as if he was trying to erase those thoughts._   
_\- Yeah, mate. Don't overthink it. I'm sure those beasts are fine... and now they're famous, too. - Jamie said._   
_\- Much more than we are. - Alex added._   
_\- I think so. - Nick agreed._

\- Of course!

Miles opened his eyes and twirled the wooden toy in his hands, yet again. Pressed it against his chest.

\- Of course. Canada. Thank you for your kind heart, Nick.

Miles let out a relieved sigh.

_And thank you, Suki, for knowing how to leave some clues._

After having solved that riddle, Miles felt his brain coming to a halt. It was like it had been running as fast as a cheetah and now it had slowed down to the speed of a turtle.

He grabbed the letter, again.

\- I'm pretty sure you weren't the one to come here, Kazuya. You're not a man enough to do so.

Ignoring the pain that had been ravaging his head and stomach, Miles got up from the couch and went to pen down some words for Elisa.

_...I'm really sorry for everything, my dear. I promise to go see you as soon as I can and I wish I could give you all of the support you need but right now my life is a bit of a mess, too. Suki left me a few weeks ago and I'm really wounded about that. She took Austin with her and I have no idea where they went, how they are. Right before she left we had this fight and..._

Miles kept on staging a fight with Suki so if his letter to Elisa was intercepted by Kazuya or any of his men, they would believe those words to be true, they would believe Miles didn't know where Suki and Austin were and then think of something else to get to him. That way he would have taken their focus off of his family and put it solely on himself.

But by the time someone else came along to try to kill Miles, he would have already left town in another mission. Always a step ahead.

Miles finished his letter and put it in the internal pocket of his jacket, he would drop it at the mail before he would go to see Al Capone, the next day.

The rest of that night Miles spent in the bathroom, throwing up all the food he hadn't even ate. His hands and feet were so cold that Miles himself started to wonder if he hadn't really died at some point of his journey back home.

He was feeling so weak, so beat.

So tired.

He couldn't just swallow down the realization that his own body was, in fact, his worst enemy.

The only one he couldn't escape.

———————————————————————

\- You have a visitor. - The officer told Al Capone before signaling for Miles to approach the cell.  
\- Oh, look who's come pay me a visit.   
\- I trust you're doing well. - Miles provoked as the policeman chained Al Capone's foot to the wall and then warned Miles about the time he had, before leaving.  
\- I've been better. I was expecting to see you yesterday.  
\- Really? Why's that?   
\- You've come to set me free, isn't this why you're here?

Miles just looked at Capone with a fun expression on his face.

\- Why would I do that? - Miles asked, at last.  
\- I can give you all the information you need about your friends' deaths.  
\- Tsc, tsc. You're late, fella. I know about everything there is to know, already.   
\- You're bluffing.  
\- Am I? Let's see... where do I begin? Oh! Right. Kazuya Kamenashi asked you to force Lil to kill Jamie because you owed Kazuya a favour. And he wanted Jamie killed because he had killed Kazuya's mentor several years back.

Capone seemed to be distressed.

\- He also sent his sister, or should I say "slave", here to supervise the whole thing. Lovely woman, that is Kayoko Kamenashi.   
\- I can't stay here, I can't be locked up. Sonny needs me, he's partially deaf, he needs me.  
\- Oh, I'm so sorry about your son. I really am. But I have a family of my own and you're like a plague in the world so I would never ever help to set you free. It actually amuses very much, to watch you now. All those years ago you beat me up and stepped on my throat, bragging about how you were the only one left and that I'd go running to you once I was broken and torn apart by my enemies... it looks like the tables have really turned, eh?  
\- Why are you here, then? If you say you already know everything there is to know?

Capone had a dark gleam to his eyes, as if he was trying to murder Miles' soul with sheer anger.

\- Glad you asked. - Miles cleared his throat before resuming his line. - I've come to talk about Harriet and Lyle Sterling.

Al Capone seemed to be taken aback.

It really was the last thing, the very last one, he'd expect to come out of Miles' mouth.

\- What? - Capone asked, truly confused.

Miles pulled his locket out of his pocket. Only Lil's picture in it, now.

\- Look at this picture. Look at it really hard. - He threw it to Al Capone, who grabbed it and opened it.

A few moments of silence went by.

\- See something familiar?  
\- Why is... why is she wearing...  
\- The necklace, I know. - Miles said in a tiresome fashion.

Capone seemed really confused.

\- You remember Lil, right? - He stared into Capone's eyes.   
\- Obviously.   
\- Did you know her née name was "Sterling"? As in Harriet and Lyle Sterling.   
\- What?  
\- Exactly. You practically killed Lillian and yet you have a picture of her mother in your office. Why's that?  
\- How do you know anything about the insides of my office?  
\- Oh, that's pretty simple! For the past two years - Miles lied about the timeline. - there was an infiltrated agent working for us. How do you think we managed to arrest you, Capone?

Of course Miles would try to divert Al Capone' suspicions to someone else so he could remain safe since he was the mastermind behind the arrest.

\- This whole time you have been watched, followed, deceived. I'm surprised you didn't notice since word's around that you are very clever.

The man remained silent.

\- But what I really want to know is: why do you have a picture of Lillian's mother in your fucking office?  
\- Harriet was my godmother. - Capone started to say, slowly. He seemed to be really distressed. - My mother used to tell us the story. It was a rainy day and Harriet saved us, took us all in. Lyle helped my father with his barbershop.

Maybe it is worth mentioning that Miles didn't expect Al Capone would really tell him about Harriet. He was, too, a bit taken aback when the man started to open up like a book in need to be read.

\- After a few years, I asked my _mama_ about them again but she claimed not to know anything about where they could be. Even later, when I wasn't just a boy, anymore, I found out my mother had lied to me. Harriet and Lyle were captured and tortured to death so they would tell some men what they wanted to know about my family. The barbershop was just a façade, you see? And when they still lived in New York, Harriet used to swing by our house and grab my _papa_ 's lunch, to take it to him at his workplace on her way to Lyle's workplace at the Wall Street, since _mama_ had four of us to take care of and couldn't leave whenever. Some pairs of eyes fell upon her and some people started to think she was my father's mistress. When Hattie and Lyle moved here, it was at the same time my father' secret business started to boom. The people watching Harriet thought they could get some information about us, regarding my _papa_ and the business since they assumed Hattie knew the true nature of it all. - Capone paused and rubbed his face with the palm of his hands. - They went after her and Lyle and took them away, tortured them and eventually killed them. I didn't even know the child they had was a girl. I knew there was a kid but someone told me they had killed the kid, too. - Capone looked at Miles, whose expression was the most collected one. - What happened to her after they took Hattie and Lyle?   
\- She was taken to a convent. - Miles felt like he had a tennis ball stuck in his throat. - Grew up there. No one she could rely on. Then when she was eighteen, she was introduced to a man who would become her first husband. He _abused_ her, _beat_ her, _threatened_ her. Made her life a living Hell until the very last day of his life. When I met her, we were both in jail. She had been arrested, for the millionth time, trying to run away from him; stole his car. She had a purple-ish bruise on her face and was very distressed, defensive. I'll never forget the _anger_ she emanated when she talked about him. I don't even know if the worst thing to happen in her life was to get married to that man or have met me, since I mean the end of her life. But there she was, wrapped in the fabric of violence, killing people not to be killed, angry, angry all the time. Guilty. Then devoid of all emotion. And when she was finally happy, you waltzed in and fucked everything up. - Miles' eyes were piercing Al Capone's.

That wasn't a friendly talk.

That was Miles trying to make Al Capone feel the whole weight of that situation.

\- I did what I need to do.  
\- You did what your coward ass thought it was better to do so Kazuya wouldn't come for you. You could 'ave told him anything and not done it. The Monkeys were never a threat to you or your business, they had nothing against you, had never even thought about you. All they wanted was to make some money to give their wives and _children_ comfortable lives, the lives themselves didn't 'ave. If you had investigated us, you would 'ave known it would not be profitable for you, to kill them. That only made room to cheap filthy gangs. Brought your brother's killer to this city. Do you see what you've caused? It's _all_ your fault, Alphonse.  
\- I accept that. - Capone said. surprising Miles. - But I'm not the man I used to be.  
\- It's too late for a change, now. - Miles said, getting up from his chair. - You've already ruined everyone's lives and there's nothing you could do to take it back. Fortunately you will 'ave lots of time to contemplate your actions and think about it over and over and over and over and over just like I did, trying to think of what I could 'ave done to save my friends. Can you feel this weight that's on your shoulders, now? It's been on _my_ shoulders for nine years. I hope you enjoy it.

Miles turned around to go away when he heard a word he could never imagine Al Capone knew how to pronounce or its meaning.

\- Please.

Frozen in his tracks, Miles didn't turn around.

\- Sonny needs me. - Capone continued.   
\- I'm sure he will miss you. But if you really love him, let him grow up away from you so he can become a real man someday.

Miles didn't look back when he walked away.

And that was the last time in his life that he had seen Al Capone.

———————————————————————

\- Remember you told me you'd leave with me when it was the time to?   
\- What are you doing here, Miles? - Rolf asked, alarmed. Looking from one side to another. He pulled Miles inside the house.  
\- Didn't you hear the news!?   
\- What?  
\- Al Capone's in jail! The members of his gang disbanded, no one's in town anymore. Where the hell 'ave you been that you didn't hear about any of this? - Miles asked.  
\- I was... busy. - Rolf scratched his nape. - I mean...  
\- Yeah, don't bother. - Miles interrupted him. He already knew what Rolf was going to say.  
\- Congratulations, tho. I know how much you've worked for this arrest to be possible. But what are you doing here, then?  
\- Kazuya sent someone after me. After my family.   
\- Why? What happened?  
\- Elisa has filed for divorce and then Kazuya might 'ave decided that's my fault, somehow.   
\- But why do you think he sent someone after you?  
\- Because Suki killed the man, or men.   
\- What!?  
\- I had left some _instructions_ for her, in case of emergency. She followed the instructions and that means she killed someone and buried their body in the shallow grave by the back of our 'ouse. I've thought about it over and over and it's the only way it could 'ave gone down.  
\- Where's she now?  
\- Ran away. Took Austin with her.  
\- Oh my... I'm sorry, Miles.   
\- This Hell feels like it's never ending.   
\- What do you plan to do now?  
\- Now I'm off to Japan. - Miles sighed heavily. - I'm gonna talk to those contacts I 'ave and I'm gonna try to free Kayoko so she'll take care of everything.  
\- Why do you think she would go after Kazuya?  
\- Because she'll never be free as long as he lives, so she _has to_ kill him. She hates him as much as I do so I'm sure she'll do what I expect her to.  
\- I see... but why don't you go after him, yourself?  
\- Two things: I don't want his blood on my hands, I don't want Elisa to find out I killed him, someday. And two because I promised Suki, for Austin. I promised her I wouldn't go after him so all that's left for me to do is to go to Japan and...  
\- You know that's a suicide mission, don't you?  
\- I 'ave no choice, Rolf. If I don't do it, he's gonna keep on sending men over to kill me and my family. I'm not gonna let him to get to Austin, I 'ave to do something!   
\- I know, I know.   
\- If I die this time around, at least my son will be safe.   
\- Well, we're coming to Japan, then.   
\- Thank you. - Miles said, even though he felt like "thank you" wasn't enough to show how grateful he really was.  
\- I'm gonna pack some stuff and... when do we leave?  
\- I didn't 'ave the time to ask when the next ship is leaving but the sooner we get to New York, the best.   
\- Alright.   
\- I 'ave to talk to someone else before we leave. - Miles said, getting up from the chair by the window.   
\- May I give you some advice?   
\- Please.  
\- Go home. - Rolf put his hand on Miles' shoulder. - Take a shower and then a nap. Think it all over. I'm not saying you might give up on anything but you might have some extra insights about what is it we're really going to do. I still remember how fucked up your mind was all those years ago and I don't want it to happen again.  
\- Yes. Yes, you are right. I'll do that.

Rolf just nodded at Miles.

\- I'll get back to you tomorrow morning. - Miles told Rolf and they said their goodbyes to each other.

When Miles sat down in front of Ms. Belanger, that noon, it was when Rolf's words really started to get to him.

\- It's a suicide mission. - He echoed.  
\- Alright.  
\- "Alright"? - Miles frowned a bit at the woman in front of him while she chewed on her salad.  
\- Yes...?

Miles shrugged.

\- You really believed I do this for the money? Oh, my... men are so easy to fool, aren't you? - She shook her head a bit before sipping on her water. - I do it because I feel important. - She continued. - I feel valued, I feel respected and I'm never bored in this job.  
\- You mean they fear you.  
\- In a way. - She nodded.  
\- I've seen that before. - Miles said while he studied her face. Now he didn't know if he could really trust Caterine.   
\- I respect their boundaries and they respect mine so as long as they keep it that way I won't have anything against them, no need to set 'em up.   
\- Don't you find it funny how dangerous people like us were actually _invited_ into the police? I mean, we know how they work, who they are, what they think, where they sleep and with whom. We could actually end them if we wanted.  
\- We could. But I don't want it.   
\- Neither do I. - Then Miles knew he could trust Caterine. - So what do you say? Up for the job?  
\- Absolutely.   
\- Great. We're leaving soon so please, be ready.  
\- Will pull my suitcases out of the wardrobe first thing when I get back home.  
\- I'll get back to you tomorrow morning.  
\- I'd rather I'd get back to you, actually.  
\- As you wish. Now if you excuse me.

It wasn't until Miles was back in the porch of his home that he felt this irrational fear growing around his bones. He started to take deep drags out of his cigarette and grit his teeth. The hairs on his arms went up but it had nothing to do with temperature.

_It's a suicide mission._

\- If I don't do it you'll die. If I do it, I might end up dead. - He whispered.

Miles was really torn apart between the need to be with his family again and the duty of solving that problem so he could find his family and live a tranquil life.

The only problem being the time.

He didn't know how long it'd take for him to tie the last knots in that situation.

It could take ten months or it could take ten years.

Did he have ten years?

Would Suki manage to run away with Austin for ten years? Would she be able to fool skilled assassins for so long? It was an actual race against the clock.

And it seemed to be ticking away really fast.

Miles finished his cigarette and went to take a shower.

He didn't manage to sleep.

——————————————————————

\- I'll send them a telegram from the ship so it's gonna be impossible for anyone to catch us if somebody intercepts it.   
\- Yeah, yeah. - Rolf agreed.  
\- And since we're gonna be on the sea for an awful fucking long time, they'll also have the time they need to organize everything and wait for us to arrive.

Caterine, Rolf and Miles were on the train to New York, two days later they first two decided to join Miles on his mission.

\- Tickets, please. - The ticket collector asked.

Miles and Caterine handed their tickets while Rolf kept on rifling through his pockets.

\- Do you have change for a 10 bill? - Rolf asked Caterine.  
\- Mhm... I don't think so. Only carrying big notes and a few pennies.   
\- Yeah, never mind. - He said, getting up from his seat and picking all of her pennies from her purse. - I don't have a ten, anyway.

Caterine frowned at him.

\- You didn't buy a ticket? - Miles asked his cousin, already taking a five dollar bill out of his pocket to give to the ticket man and then pay for Rolf's ticket. Rolf gave Caterine's pennies back to her.  
\- I may or may not have forgotten. - Rolf shrugged at his companions.  
\- Are you _sure_ we can trust him? - Caterine asked Miles, while she pointed at Rolf after the ticket collector had been paid and went away.   
\- Yes.

Both Miles and Caterine were staring at Rolf, now.

\- What? - Rolf asked both of them.

Miles didn't know how to explain why Rolf had never gotten into serious trouble before.

Maybe it was because some force in the universe really liked him or just because he was really lucky... he wasn't irresponsible or completely relentless, but he lived his life not caring about danger and would jump into it the first chance he had. Like a bad habit. He was just a ridiculously handsome awfully clever son of a bitch who had been, mostly because of his cristal blue eyes, surrounded by women since he was fourteen or something.

And Miles couldn't like him any more than he already did since Rolf was the closest thing he had to a brother now all of his _other brothers_ were gone.

\- Nothing. - Miles replied.  
\- Do you already figured out how we're getting in? - Caterine asked Miles, changing the subject from Rolf.   
\- No... Not yet, actually. But I do know it's not impossible and therefore we're going to get in.  
\- I believe in you, mate. - Rolf remarked, paging through some paper he had found.  
\- Mhmm... - Caterine voiced.  
\- But don't worry. - He added, looking at her. - We're gonna 'ave lots of time until we get to Japan. We'll figure it all out.

———————————————————————  
 **2 months later.**

\- Happy birthday, baby. - Suki said, putting a blueberry cake on the table, in front of Austin. It was his favorite.

And coincidentally Miles' too.

\- I'm not a baby, anymore! I'm ten, now. - Austin protested and laughed.  
\- I know. - Suki laughed a bit, too. - You're growing up so fast... sometimes I wish I could shrink you so you'd really be a baby again.  
\- Oh, no.   
\- Alright. Make a wish and blow off the candles when you're done. - Suki said, sitting on the chair in front of Austin's.

Austin closed his eyes for a second as Suki watched his lips moving without any sound.

Then he blew off the candles and the room was left partially in the dark, again.

He got up to turn on the lights and then went back to the table.

\- So, what did you wish for? - Suki asked, while she handed him the spatula so he could cut up the cake.   
\- I wished dad is still alive.

Suki swallowed hard.

He could have wished they would go back _home_ , he could have wished Aiden and Alexa were there with them, he could simply have wished Miles was there with them.

But he wished for his father to be _still alive._

Alive as if he had full knowledge about what was going on behind the fabric of his mother's white lies.

\- What do you think he wouldn't be? - She tried to keep her cool.

It was really disturbing to watch Austin saying those words.

\- He's still missing. It is my birthday and he's not here. He's always been home for my birthday. I just don't want him to have died in an accident, too... like Aiden's dad. - Austin exposed the thoughts that were haunting him.  
\- I'm sure he's fine, my love. - Suki held Austin's hand. - It's just that something might be happening that he can't come home just now. Hey. - Suki tried to make Austin look at her and so he did. - He'll be home again. - She nodded, in an attempt to assure him.   
\- I hope so... I miss him.  
\- Yeah, me too.

Both exchanged a long hug.

 _I'm sure he will come back._ Suki kept that thought to herself for she wasn't actually sure of anything.


	14. Tea

**1921**

\- How did you take the locket off of my neck without me noticing? - Miles asked.

They were sitting on the sand, after Miles grabbed two bottles of whiskey and drove away with Lil to the beach.

Saved her from the _awful champagne_.

\- Well... - She clicked her tongue before resuming her line. - You know how Alex was always saying we should pay attention to the enemy's behavior. At some point you'd be able to really tell, to read, what they were going to do next. But it works both ways, if the enemy also knows about this technique, and of course it doesn't work amongst us all. - Lil pointed at Miles and then at herself, indicating that she was talking about all of her boys.

She took a sip on her drink and rested the empty glass on the sand before approaching Miles and sitting in front of him.

\- So when I put my hands on your shoulders... - She was doing was she was talking to him about. - it was something I never do, so you had no way of anticipating my next move. That way you had to try to guess it, and by doing so, you had to focus on the only thing that could give me away.

She was staring at him, now.

\- Your face... - Miles noted.  
\- Exactly. - She nodded as she leaned a bit towards Miles. - While you studied my face, my hands were working on your locket. - She pressed Miles' skin on his neck and then she moved again, kneeling behind his back. - When I got up and went behind you... - She blew some air against the skin of his neck and that made shivers go down Miles' spine. - you couldn't see me anymore and then you tried to focus on the next thing that you remembered. - She pattered her fingers on his cheeks.   
\- Your touch. - He whispered.  
\- Clever boy! And then while you paid attention to the pressure of my fingers on your shoulder, my other hand was putting your locket in your pocket, and so you wouldn't feel the weight changing as I whispered in your ear to distract you.

She finished with a whisper while she guided Miles' hand to her own and put his locket on his palm, to prove to him she had done it again.

\- Isn't it simple? - She asked, going back to sit on her spot on the sand and filling her glass up with whiskey, one more time.  
\- Yes... And now that you showed me it step by step, I think I can actually remember all of it happening. - Miles' fingers were still wrapped around his locket.   
\- Maybe. Or maybe you're just imagining it all.  
\- I won't deny it could be it.  
\- So now you know how I did it. When you find yourself surrounded and not knowing what to do, don't act like you're thinking. Surprise the enemy.   
\- I'll remember that.

A comfortable silence invited itself to spend some time between Miles and Lil.

They just stayed at the beach, drinking and watching the sunset.

\- I think you should stop, now. - Miles told Lil when she spilled a bit of whiskey over herself.  
\- I think you should shut the fuck up. - She said in a tired voice.   
\- You're moving like you're drunk, already.   
\- I just want... I'm sad. Every night I go to sleep and I'm not really good at anything. - She turned her head to look at Miles. - I'm... Well, actually I'm happy I'm sad... at least I'm feeling something.   
\- Could you be a tad more dramatic? I don't think this is enough. - Miles rested his chin on his hand.   
\- Leave me, Miles. I know you'll be leaving one day, anyway. - She sighed.  
\- What are you talking about, now?  
\- I don't know.

_Drunk talk._

\- I just feel misplaced. Do you think _I_ should leave? - She asked him, sincerely. Her voice was so, so small.  
\- No. - Miles said after a few moments of silence. - I don't think you should go anywhere.

It had started to rain lightly.

\- I don't think you should ever leave. - Miles continued. - You belong with us now and when I say that, I'm not referring to our business. I'm talking about us all as a family. You know, I know none of us ever thought of inviting anyone else into our pub, into our homes. And we actually didn't just invite you, you've earned your place. Now we can't function without you. I know I can't... It is funny, actually. We're all just a big family. Of course I wish me and the boys didn't 'ave to lie to our loved ones but we're in too deep to tell them the truth about anything, at this point. You know all the truth and you didn't walk away. I think that what I'm really trying to tell you is that we all hold you very dear and I'm sure none of us want you to go away.

Miles was scratching the lobe of his right ear when he finished talking. He did that when he was really embarrassed and that only happened when he talked about feelings.

A few more moments went by and he realized Lil had fallen asleep.

She was resting her chin on her knees, hugging her legs.

He couldn't help but to laugh a bit.

Miles got up from the sand and walked over to his car, he grabbed his jacket and went back to the beach.

Put it over Lil to protect her from the rain.

—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-

**1932**

\- This is fucking paradise! - Rolf approached Miles and Caterine, holding two glasses of gin in his hands. He sat down on the deck chair next to them.

Miles stretched his arm to grab a glass but Rolf took a sip of both glasses and rested his back against the cushions.

\- Git. - Miles cursed at Rolf, who just shrugged.   
\- So you were saying... - Caterine tried to bring Miles' attention back to her.  
\- I sent them a telegram and when they get it, they'll start to organize everything. When we get to Tokyo, they're going to be people waiting for us, there to take us to Kyoto.  
\- Right, alright. Will we be moving together or separately?   
\- _Moving_ together, uh? - Rolf wiggled his brows at Caterine.

And what she really wanted to know was if the three of them would be traveling together across Japan or not.

Rolf tried to make that sound obscene.

Both Miles and Caterine ignored Rolf.

\- Glad you asked. We'll be traveling separately to Kyoto and when we get there - Miles turned his head to bring Rolf into the conversation. - they'll set up a perimeter for us so each one of us will be staying at an end of the triangle. If they catch one of us, we _do not_ know each other. I certainly haven't ever heard of you two.  
\- I'm sorry... who are you? - Caterine asked Miles, looking really confused.

Rolf laughed.

\- You're a really good actress, Cat.   
\- Don't call me that. - She warned Rolf.  
\- _Wild_.   
\- I'm regretting 'aving brought you. - Miles grabbed both glasses from Rolf's hands and threw them overboard, into the sea.   
\- Oi! - Rolf complained.  
\- This is serious business. - Miles practically hissed at his cousin, who just stayed silent.

Rolf knew he shouldn't push Miles too far.

\- Now pay attention. - Miles said, grabbing a pen and writing down something on a notebook.

His very own notebook.

\- These signs are actually words. - He showed some words in kanji to both Rolf and Caterine. - I need you to memorize it.

He ripped the pages and gave one to each partner of his.

\- These - he pointed at Caterine's page. - mean "danger", "run", "dead", "change" for when we need to make a change in our plan and I'm going to think of some other words, but I do need you to memorize these. If Alex had known this word - He pointed at the word "danger". - he'd be still alive... and since I cannot lose the two of you, too - Miles snapped back into reality. - you need to learn these. Every night the two of you are coming to my suite so I'll be teaching you how to speak a bit of Japanese and how to write a few things down, emergency words.  
\- Since when do you know Japanese? - Caterine asked Miles.  
\- My wife taught me. I mean, I asked her to, after I met Kazuya' sister and everything.   
\- Mhm... - Caterine voiced, looking at the sea behind her sunglasses.

The three of them stayed silent for a while, just observing the people roaming around the ship.

\- It's my son's birthday today. - Miles said, staring at the pen in his hands.  
\- How old is he, again? - Rolf asked. He'd always been bad with dates and ages.

The only numbers he knew about were the ones related to how much was his cut after a heist.

\- Ten.   
\- I bet he's fine. - Caterine said, as if she could read Miles' mind.   
\- Yeah, I hope so. - Miles said, getting up from his chair. - I'm gonna go to my cabin, knock only if it's urgent.

Miles walked amongst the people as if they weren't even there, lost so deep into his thoughts.

He got into his cabin and sat at the small table by the window.

And then he wrote a letter.

**1928**

\- May I ask what you're doing? - Miles asked, approaching Alexa on the backyard of her home. He called for her but she didn't hear him, so he let himself in and started to look around for her.  
\- Sending a letter. - Alexa replied, folding a piece of paper, not really looking back at Miles.  
\- I don't understand... - Miles spoke softly, sitting by Alexa' side on the little wooden bench.   
\- I wrote this letter for Alex. - She blowed the smoke of her cigarette before finally looking at Miles. - Now I have to send it.  
\- I still don't...

Miles had gone to see Alexa because he knew how affected she'd get on the day of hers and Alex's wedding anniversary.

\- When I was little, back in England, there was this gipsy lady who temporarily lived in the house next to ours. She'd always give me cinnamon buns on my way back from school. One day I walked past her house and saw her on the backyard, burning something. I shouted her name so she would look at me and asked what she was doing, she told me to come in and meet her. And so I did. - Alexa lit up a match but let it go out. - She told me she was sending a letter and I was really confused, just as you are now, and as the piece of paper burnt, she told me that she was sending a letter to her daughter. Of course I asked why she couldn't just send it through the mail. - Alexa scoffed at the thought and then all the amusement was gone from her face, again. - She explained to me her daughter had been dead for fifteen years. - She stared at Miles' face and watched as he realized what she was planning to do. - She believed that if she wrote a letter and burnt it, the air would take it where she wanted it to get to. To her daughter. Or whoever she needed to send a letter to. That was her way of coping with grief and I think it suits me, too.   
\- How long 'ave you been doing this?   
\- Since he died. - Alexa lit up another match and this time she set fire to the letter. - At first they used to be angry letters. Now I only write to him to tell him how much I miss him and about how our son is doing. How we're holding up.

Hers and Miles' eyes stuck on the fire and the ashes being blown away by the wind.

\- Sometimes I tell him about you, too. - Alexa told Miles, in almost a whisper.

He held her hand.

**1932**

Miles set fire to the letter he had written for Austin.

 _I hope your heart gets these words._ He whispered as the paper burned.

———————————————————————

A few weeks went by and both Rolf and Caterine were really making an effort to learn all the Japanese that could save their lives.

\- May I ask you something? - Caterine turned her head to look at Rolf.

They were all reunited at Miles' room.

\- Yes? - He looked at her.  
\- Were you ever taught how buttons work? I mean, your shirts have a few of them...

Miles couldn't help but to scoff and pay attention to that exchanging of words.

Rolf just kept on looking at Caterine, waiting for her to carry on but she never did.

\- It's not my fault my nipples are escape artists. - Rolf told Caterine.

Miles laughed out loud.

\- Sorry. - He said when both Caterine and Rolf looked at him.  
\- Do my tits bother you?   
\- Oh my God, shut the fuck up. - Caterine threw a pencil at Rolf.  
\- Oi! I just sharpened these. - He complained, picking up the pencil from the floor and checking if its tip was still intact.  
\- Focus, guys. - Miles told the both of them.  
\- You were just laughing. - Caterine complained.  
\- Calm down, Kitty. - Rolf said, scribbling something down on his book, apparently focused.

Caterine rolled her eyes and sighed.

\- I wouldn't rile her up. - Miles warned Rolf.  
\- Yeah, 'cause that's like... 35 years of danger right there. - Rolf said, looking at Caterine.

Miles closed his eyes and waited.

Every man knows pointing out a woman's age wasn't exactly the best thing to be doing.

\- First of all, I'm not _thirty-five,_ I'm twenty-eight _._ Secondly, fuck you!   
\- Wait! Twenty-eight? - Miles asked, surprised. - How old were you when you got into this thing? The police, I mean.   
\- Nineteen. Why? - She asked back, annoyed.  
\- Nothing, it's just that... I mean, you've always looked young but I didn't know you were so young... I mean, remember the time we were at the bar and that shooting—  
\- Yes. - She interrupted him.  
\- You and I had been together in a mission five years prior to that so I'm just... surprised. I'm sorry, actually.

And then it hit him.

\- You and Lil were the same age when you first... started.

 _What's wrong with the world?_ He felt like asking.

\- I didn't know about that. - Caterine said, not angry anymore.  
\- Can we change the subject? - Rolf asked the both of them. Being the grown up in the room for the first time.  
\- Yeah... - Miles agreed, nodding at his cousin as a "thank you" gesture. - Well, - Miles cleared his throat before continuing. - should we go back to practice the writing or the speaking?   
\- I'd like to practice a bit of the speaking, I mean, I still have a bit of a hard time... - Rolf told Miles.  
\- Yes. - He adjusted his position on the loveseat and looked at Caterine, who seemed to agree. - Let's do that, then.

———————————————————————

\- What's up? - Rolf asked, trying to protect himself from the rain while he approached Miles on the upper deck of the ship.

No too long until they would arrive in Japan, now.

\- You know when you feel it in your bones that you're experiencing things for the last time?   
\- Kind of... yeah.  
\- I wanted to feel the rain just because I want to. One last time.  
\- Forgive me for saying this but i'm feeling you too _sombre,_ Miles. I feel like you're... inviting death into your arms.  
\- I'm tired, Rolf. I'm sick of everything. - Miles sighed. - And I've been feeling awfully incompetent because had I taken care of these _loose ends,_ we wouldn't be going through this shit now.   
\- No use to beat yourself about it when you're doing everything you can. It's not your fault that the jap dude is psychotic.   
\- It's not enough... What if I fail?   
\- _We're_ not going to fail.  
\- Lately I've been wondering if I shouldn't tell Caterine to go back home. I mean...

Rolf scoffed.

\- You do that and she'll be the enemy you'll be facing. I tease her all the time but that's because I'm not afraid to die. _Cat_ is way more dangerous than we know, I can feel it.  
\- And so was Lil. - Miles spat out his thoughts. - And look at what happened to her!  
\- Yeah, but the problem with her was that she let her feelings get in the way. We've talked about it for years, you told me everything about her and anyone could notice that she'd do anything for you, even give her life to protect you. Caterine has nothing to lose, she has no attachments to you or even I. She's here because she wants to be. She'll be fine.  
\- I hope so. Oh, what a fucking mess we're in.  
\- Yeah, you're fucked. - Rolf said. - But thank God we're experts in cleaning up messes.  
\- I just feel so bad about Suki. She had nothing to do with it she just wanted us to live a normal life.  
\- She married the wrong man if she was planning to live a normal life, then.  
\- No, no. Austin is the unlucky one in all of it, to 'ave ended up in the middle of all of this.  
\- If you only you had kept it in your pants. - Rolf clicked his tongue and Miles couldn't help but to chuckle softly. - But I don't blame you, I know very well how fun _that_ is.   
\- I don't think it was just for fun... I mean, at least not for me. And when I think hard about it, I don't know what was it.  
\- Do you need a reason to fuck someone, now?   
\- When you're in love with someone else, yes, you need it.  
\- That's true, though. - Rolf said after a minute of silence. - And now, dou you love her?  
\- I don't think our hearts are in the same place. - Miles closed his eyes when the cold wind slapped his face. - I don't think she loves anyone but herself... and Austin. She's... a ship with no anchor, always threatening to sail away.  
\- But what if she wanted to dock at your port?   
\- What kind of talk is this? - Miles furrowed his brows at Rolf. Water dripping from his eyelashes.  
\- I don't know, you're the one who started with the analogies, I'm just playing along.  
\- Sorry. It's just that I cannot seem to put my thoughts into a proper order.   
\- Yes, I've noticed. But you didn't answer.  
\- I don't know. I just let go of Lil recently so I'm not feeling anything like that, anymore. No love, no pain, no pleasure, anything.   
\- Oh, you did? That's...  
\- Yes, that's good, a'ight. All that I can say is that I really miss Suki, I grew really accustomed to her, to 'aving her around and talking to her, 'aving her reminding to take the fucking umbrella with me.   
\- Is that why you're out here in the pouring rain? - Rolf asked Miles.  
\- It could be. I don't know. - Miles said, looking away. - I think I took _us_ for granted.   
\- What do you mean?

But Miles didn't answer, he just closed his eyes again, trying to focus on the cold wind that seemed to be biting and chewing on the marrow of his bones with big, frozen, saber teeth, with such a feral violence that made his body shiver. It was when he noticed that maybe the temperature where he and Rolf were standing on the deserted deck, was actually pretty close to zero.

\- Let's go back inside. People will start thinking you're insane and the last thing we need now is you catching a fucking cold.  
\- The same thing applies to you. - Miles replied. - I'll be back inside in a minute.

Rolf knew there was no use in arguing with Miles so he just went back inside, himself.

Miles stayed in the rain until it was over.

——————————————————————

\- Mom, are you fine?  
\- Yeah, baby. - Suki said and coughed a bit. - I'm fine. It's just that is cooooold! - She hugged Austin and tickled him. - Do you see how much snow has fallen today?

Suki and Austin were standing by the window of the living room of their home in Ontario, Canada. The winter was in full swing and the ground had been covered by holy white snow. The classes had all been suspended because the roads to school were impossible to drive on, and now Suki spent the whole day trying to take Austin's mind off of troubling thoughts.

\- It's almost knee deep. - Austin said.  
\- My knee or yours? - Suki asked, laughing a bit.  
\- My knee! If it was yours, it'd be tight high for me. - Austin remarked.  
\- Sometimes I refuse to believe you'll get taller than me! - Suki kissed her boy's cheek all over.  
\- Taller than dad, too, do you think?  
\- Maybe... your dad's not much taller than me, tho.   
\- Yeah, that's true.  
\- Do you promise you'll never forget about me, even you're so tall and I start to shrink as I get older and older?   
\- Mom, that's not possible! You're my mom, my only one.

 _Your only one mother or your only one parent?_ Suki thought to herself.

\- I love you so much. - Suki rested her chin on the top of Austin's head.  
\- I love you, too.

Suki started to cough again.

She let go of Austin.

\- Don't worry, it's just that I'm too sensible to cold temperatures, I've told you.  
\- Then why did we come _here_?  
\- Because no one would think of looking for us here. - Suki decided to be honest. - And the only way I could leave a message to your father that we were coming here, without _writing_ him a message, was to put your wooden moose on the coffee table. Had I give you a giraffe toy we could be in Africa, right now.

Suki coughed again. It had been like that for a few days, now.

\- Do you think he already got the message?   
\- Maybe. I hope so.

Austin started to look out the window, again.

\- Do you want to go play outside?  
\- But you're sick.  
\- I'm fine! Let's bundle up and then we can go outside to build snowmen. I know you love it.  
\- Are you sure?  
\- Yes!

Suki and Austin dressed up warmly.

Lots of layers of clothes and coats and gloves and then they went outside.

Mother and son were happily playing when both started to hear something like a whimper.

\- Shhh. - Suki put her hand over Austin's mouth, hugging him from behind so she could protect him better and looking around.  
\- _Mmph! -_ Austin pointed at something in front of them, near some trees.

Suki's heart was trying to escape her chest.

Austin pushed his mother's hand away from his mouth and started to run towards the trees.

\- AUSTIN!  
\- It's a dog! - Austin announced, stopping a few feet away from the puppy.  
\- Don't do that again! Don't run away from me, again! - Suki scolded him.   
\- It's just a dog, look!   
\- It could be someone trying to lure you in! You don't run away from me, you don't do that to me!  
\- Mom, you're overreacting!  
\- Stop sounding like your father. - She said, dusting some snow off of his jacket. - How did this dog end up here?

Suki approached the small dog, slowly.

It wasn't aggressive or anything. It was really just a puppy, freezing outside.

She took off her beanie and put the dog inside of it.

\- Come, let's put it by the fire and when he stops shivering we can check if it's hurt. - She told Austin, meaning to hold his hand.

He put his hand on hers.

\- I hope Tiny is fine.  
\- Tiny? - Suki frowned.  
\- Yeah... - Austin pointed at the dog.  
\- You've met it two minutes ago and you've already given it a name? Austin, we're not keeping him... her. It.  
\- Why not?  
\- We're not.  
\- Bu—  
\- No.  
\- Ugh!

Austin opened the door of the house and Suki got in. She built a tiny fort, by the fire, with some cushions and put the dog in the middle of it.

They also sat around the fire to warm themselves up.

\- If we hadn't gone out to play, it'd die outside. - Austin said in a worried voice.  
\- That is true. But it's alright now, we've rescued it.  
\- But we're not keeping it so that means it's going back out there into the cold. Alone... in the rain.

Suki looked the other way so Austin couldn't see her trying to hold back a laugh.

She knew very well he was trying to do.

After half an hour or so, the dog started to move around inside the fort.

\- I think it is fine.  
\- Oh, but for how long? What if it can't find something to eat, out there?   
\- Austin, stop it. I can see what you're trying to do. - She said in a serious tone.

Austin shut up.

The dog was really cute, Suki couldn't deny it. And when it looked at her with those doe eyes and licked her hand, it was when she fell in love. From that moment on, she had no doubts the Kane family had welcomed a new member.

\- Where's your mommy? - She whispered to the dog, wrapping it up in her beanie, again. - We need to try to find out where it came from, if the mom is out there, we have to give it back.

Austin seemed to be disappointed.

\- It's the right thing to do. - Suki reinforced the idea.  
\- Alright... - Austin said and sighed.

Later that day they found out the dog was female and Suki cooked some baby food for it, fed her with a tea spoon in the best way she could, and wrapped her up again so she could take another nap by the fire.

And just like she'd do to a baby, Suki woke up several times during the night to check on the puppy.

Until she found Austin laying on the carpet with _Tiny_ curled up, sleeping on his stomach.

She smiled at the view.

——————————————————————

\- What are we doing, tonight? - Caterine asked, after Rolf had arrived at Miles' cabin.   
\- Tonight we drink. - Miles replied, getting up to fill up some glasses with whiskey. - We talk, we share thoughts. But it is forbidden to talk about our mission.  
\- I thought you'd want to talk about the last details. - Rolf said, accepting the glass Miles was meaning to give to him.  
\- Yes... but it's our last night on this ship. I thought of us having a little get together in case we get separated for good.   
\- I don't know about you two but my wrists are thankful for that. - Caterine said, taking a sip on her drink.

Miles had been teaching Rolf and Caterine how to untie all the types of knots, like he and the boys used to do at _The Arctic._

\- Do you think that raw fish everyone talks about is really that good? - Rolf wondered, out loud.  
\- You mean, _sushi. -_ Caterine said.  
\- Well, I like it. Suki makes it at home, sometimes. Says it's one of the things she misses about living in Japan.  
\- She has taste. - Caterine said, approving of Suki's favourite foods. - I like sushi very much, I think you'll like it. - She looked at Rolf.  
\- Of course you do, Cats love fish. - He joked. - But I'll trust your judgment.   
\- This talk just made me hungry. - Miles said, after finishing his drink and resting the glass on the coffee table in front of him. - What about we head to the restaurant?  
\- You buying? - Rolf asked.  
\- Caterine's dinner, only. You can starve for all I care. - Miles joked.   
\- Alright. - Rolf said, turning his attention to Caterine. - Do you happen to have change for fifty bucks?  
\- You don't have fifty bucks. - Caterine replied.  
\- Yeah, I don't have it.  
\- Shall we? - Miles asked, opening the door.

The dinner went really well.

They ate and laughed, exchanged stories and talked about the most absurd ideas and concepts.

\- Well, - Rolf started. - things with her were like a very bright light, it lured you in. But it'd burn you if you got too close to it. It was like I could never reach her, she was always a step ahead of me. The only times she'd let me get closer to her was when she wanted me. And then she'd run away again. - He lit up a cigarette. - But I admit I enjoyed every minute of that chase until the very last hour of it, when she told me she was bored and was going to leave town.It was when I realized I didn't mean anything to her so I let her go and we never saw each other again.   
\- I didn't know you were so... _sensible._ \- Caterine chose that word because she couldn't really think of a better one. Rolf just shrugged in response.  
\- You let her go just like that? - Miles asked.  
\- What could I do? I mean, she had never told me she loved me even though I'd told her that a bunch of times. In fact, every time I'd tell her that, that would only push her away. She'd disappear for days on end. Eventually I gave up and went back to the drawing board.  
\- I wish I could have done that, back then. - Miles said.  
\- Things happen for a reason. - Rolf said, blowing the smoke of his cigarette up in the air.  
\- I guess.  
\- What about you, Cat? What's your story?

Caterine had given up telling Rolf not to call her "Cat". He was just too stubborn.

\- I don't have a story.   
\- Mysterious...  
\- Do you think we should order the _sakura_ tea? - She asked both Rolf and Miles, while eyeing the menu.   
\- You're _asking_ that to two english men, what do you think our answer would be? - Rolf said.   
\- I'll do it then. - Caterine said, looking around the room, trying to get the waiters' attention.  
\- What are you smiling at, Miles? - Rolf asked.  
\- Tulips. - Miles said and pointed at some flowers in the back of the room. - They're Suki's favourite flowers.  
\- Remind me how they're funny, again.  
\- I'm terribly allergic to them. - Miles said, chuckling softly.  
\- I must admit that it is really heartwarming the way you seem to know everything about your wife. - Caterine told Miles. - Even though you're not a real couple and everything.

Miles frowned a bit at her.

_I never told you that._

\- I guess you're wondering how I know that. - She said, looking back at Miles.  
\- You've been listening to our conversations. - Rolf said.   
\- No, I haven't. I'm an observer, guys. I can just tell.  
\- What gave us away? - Miles asked her.  
\- Your body language. When you talk about her, you never act like you're missing her romantically. Your remarks are always about things she does or likes that are related to your house or your son. Never to the two of you. I've never heard you talking about how you like a certain color on her, a certain dress she wears or something of the sorts, and that's because you don't desire her. You just like her and are used to her presence.

Miles kept his mouth shut.

\- When Rolf was telling us about Claire, just two minutes ago, he told us a bunch of stuff about her at the same time he touched everything on this table as if every fork, every knife, every glass was her body. You didn't do anything of that kind, ever.

Rolf was also a bit taken aback by that.

He didn't like to admit how crazy in love with Claire he had gotten.

\- That's how I came to conclusion that either you and Suki never loved each other or you fell out of love but didn't get a divorce.   
\- The first scenario. - Miles said.   
\- I was more inclined to that perception, actually. But well, I didn't mean to scare the both of you, it was just sometimes this does happen and I can't help but noticing everything about someone and then I _have_ to confirm I'm right.   
\- Like a mental exercise.  
\- Exactly.  
\- You should 'ave told us about this first so I could ask you to try to teach me. - Miles said.  
\- I'm not a good teacher. But don't worry, I'm not telling anyone any of this about you.   
\- I know you won't. - Miles nodded at her.  
\- Oh, there comes the tea! - Caterine smiled at the waiter approaching the table. Rolf was eyeing her.

Miles was actually relieved.

He had been in denial about what he felt for Lil, at the beginning, and now he was wondering if he felt something like that towards Suki, too. And if he'd go in denial, again, if he found out he loved her too.

Caterine helped him understand he really didn't love Suki.

And Miles always felt like from all the battles he had fought in his life, understanding himself was the hardest of them all.


	15. Petals

\- Wait! - Caterine whispered as she grabbed the right sleeve of Miles' shirt. - Take this.

She put a tiny bottle in his hand.

\- What is it? - He asked in a whisper.   
\- For the _meetings. P_ ut it in your mouth, it won't melt. Chew on and swallow it _only if you're cornered_ and have completely lost all hope of walking out alive. - She told him, looking into his eyes.

Miles nodded.

He had heard rumours about the existence of those kind of pills, before.

And of course Caterine would own a bunch of them; she was/had been a spy, after all. There were lots of secrets she'd die to protect.

\- Good luck, Caterine. - Miles couldn't help but to give her a hug, on the deserted corridor of the ship. He still couldn't wrap his head around her age, her youth. The things she'd be giving up when she accepted to go along with him on that mission. He really felt for her.

_You're getting soft, Miles._

\- Luck is for amateurs. - She smiled a bit, looking around and taking a step back when she heard voices approaching them. - We're better than that.

Caterine walked away.

Miles felt like she would be the only one to ever set foot in America, again.

He glanced at the bottle nestled in his hand.

——————————————————————

\- _Welcome to Japan, Mr. Kane._

A young Japanese man greeted Miles as soon as his feet touched the ground of the land of the rising sun.

_\- Thank you very much._

"You seem too young to be a criminal, you know?" Miles thought to himself. Suddenly he was questioning everybody's age.

\- _My name is Akio, I'm here to take you to your hotel._  
 _\- Who sent you?_  
 _\- Mr. Lee... I thought he'd have let you know th—_  
 _\- It's alright. It's just that I thought you were someone else._

Thank God you're not.

\- _Oh, I see. Well, if you let me I can carry your luggage to the car and then I'll drive us back to the hotel._  
 _\- I'll tend to my luggage at all times, thank you. -_ Miles said as he watched Caterine walking away with a Japanese woman, from the corner of his eye.

Rolf had been the first to disembark so he'd be long lost amongst the crowd, by now.

\- _How did you know I'm me? -_ Miles asked Akio, turning his attention back to him.  
\- _Uh... they showed me a photograph of you, it's a very common thing they do that to us so we will recognize celebrities from the West when we're sent to pick them up and take them back to the hotel._  
 _\- Celebrities, uh?_  
 _\- Yes. I'm sorry I'm not familiar with any of your work but now I do know you're a very celebrated musician back in England and America._  
 _\- All's forgiven, boy. They say I'm famous but if I were really that known, I'm sure you'd have heard of me so don't sweat it. -_ Miles started to play along with Lee's plan. - _Have you ever heard of the great Elisa Bouchou?_  
\- _Oh, yes_! _My sister owns all of her records. And she's married to the great Kazuya Kamenashi, a big movie star here in Japan, so that hits close to home._  
 _\- See?_ That's _a well known artist, not me._

Miles started to make small talk with Akio so he wouldn't get too curious about his "fame" and start asking questions.

Half an hour later, Miles was dropped at his hotel. He thanked Akio, who was eagerly asking what he could do for Miles—typical behaviour of a starstruck individual—and told him not to let absolutely anyone bother him in his room for the next twelve hours.

Miles got rid of his clothes and went to take a shower.

It all seemed so funny... the way he could move freely around the bathroom, how the floor didn't feel like it was swaying. Like he didn't have only ten minutes to take a shower because it was crucial to save water on the ship.

He stomped around a bit.

\- This is real ground.

After the shower, Miles didn't know if he should unpack and put his clothes away or if Lee would have him moved to another hotel. He decided he would leave his luggage as it was.

\- Where the hell is my bed? - Miles wondered out loud when he saw the futon made up on the floor. - And why the table is so... small. That's too low, are these people dwarves, in secret? And there are no chairs... my poor back.

Miles let a whimper out when he kneeled by the futon to pull the first layer of blankets off of it and fold it. Then he laid on the mattress and put the other blanket over his body, kicking it in the air to unfold it.

\- It's not too bad... - He whispered, closing his eyes and crossing his fingers on his chest.

Two minutes later he was laughing out loud.

\- Alright, alright. - He took a deep breath and let the air out with a whistle.

_\- Why do you sleep like that? It seems... you look like a corpse when you do that._   
_\- You know corpses don't choose to stay in this position, right? Living people are the ones who cross the corpses fingers on their chests._   
_\- Still, it gives me the creeps. - Suki said, turning her back to Miles. - I wake up in the middle of the night for a glass of water and you're here, still as a rock, with your fingers crossed like that... sometimes I... I even put my hand next to your nose so I'm sure you're still breathing._

_Miles burst into laughter._

_They had been sleeping in the same bed for a little over than a month, now._

_\- Shut it, you're gonna wake Austin up._   
_\- Sorry. No, but really. You do that? - He was still laughing slightly. - But what's wrong in sleeping next to a corpse, by the way? - He joked._   
_\- Yeah, stop making me feel like I'm completely stupid. - Suki clicked her tongue._

_Miles could see only the back of her head but he was pretty sure her brows were as furrowed as they could get._

_\- No, you're not stupid._  
 _\- I'm afraid of corpses. - She admitted. - Really afraid._  
 _\- It's alright. - Miles had stopped laughing. - I promise I'll try to... change the position I sleep in._  
 _\- I'm sorry. - She turned around to look at Miles. - It's just... I'm sorry._  
 _\- It's alright. - He smiled a tiny smile at her, assuring her that everything was alright. - I can try to sleep like this, then. - He said, crossing his arms over his chest, holding both sides of his own arms._  
 _\- Now you look like an Egyptian mummy! - Suki put her pillow over her face._  
 _\- Oh my God, are you serious?_  
 _\- Yes. - Her voice came out muffled._  
 _\- How_ do you _want me to sleep, then?_  
 _\- What about in a way that doesn't look like you're dead?_  
 _\- I don't 'ave a small pillow... or a teddy bear I can hug and sleep, like you do! - Miles pointed._  
 _\- I can get you one. - Suki said, pushing the pillow away from her face and looking at Miles, again._  
 _\- Thank you, but that's not what I meant._  
 _\- Ugh._  
 _\- Is it really the position I sleep in that's gonna determine that we're_ really _going to move 'ouses and get a bigger place with more bedrooms? - Miles asked Suki._  
 _\- No. - She sighed. - I'll try and get used to it... I'll..._  
 _\- No, look. You 'ave no bad habits so I never had to get used to anything like that about you, it's not fair you 'ave to... What if I sleep like this? - He asked her, laying on his side and putting both his hands under his pillow._  
 _\- Yeah, I think it works. - Suki nodded._  
 _\- Thank God._

_Both laughed a bit._

Miles turned to lie on his side on the futon.

He fell asleep with his mind on his family.

———————————————————————

Five hours passed and even though Miles was really tired, he just wasn't able to sleep any more.

Miles sat up and stretched his arms, wiped the sleep under his eyes, got up.

Someone had slid a letter under the door of his hotel bedroom.

He walked up to the door, slowly, and stopped. Stared at the envelope for a few minutes before deciding to pick it up.

_You're having a meeting._   
_Be ready._

And that was that, that was the only phrases written in that card, hidden inside an envelope.

 _I'll be as ready as it gets._ Miles thought, touching the bottle Caterine had given him, inside his coat pocket.

——————————————————————

\- I'm sorry, darling.

Suki was bending over a bit to tie the knot on Austin's scarf a little tighter.

\- You're always saying that. - Austin threw his arms in the air and Suki kneeled to try to get a better position to fix her son's clothes. He clicked his tongue.  
\- You know why that is not possible. - She said, now resting her hands on her thighs while she studied Austin's face.

She could see him constructing phrases and wanting to spit them out but refraining himself to do so. She could see the words ricocheting on the insides of his mouth.

\- Say it. - She spoke firmly. - Whatever it is you want to tell me.

Austin was taken aback for a while. He didn't know his mother could read him so well.

\- It's all your fault. - He finally said, looking deeply into her eyes. - You don't want to let me go see Aiden—  
\- I can't let y— Suki tried to interrupt.  
\- You want to send Tiny away... We're in this _shitty_ country! You're... evil, mom. You're doing everything so I won't be happy.

Suki felt like she just had been stabbed, upon those words.

She and Austin were waiting at the usual spot for the school bus to pass by and pick him up.

\- You're lonely and now you want me to be lonely, too. - He sounded so angry. Too angry for a ten year old. - If dad was here and you were the one missing, things would be completely different. He would never run away, he would never not let me go visit Aiden.

The bus stopped by the end of the road and honked.

\- Maybe... - Austin started, looking at the bus in the distance. - _you're_ the one who should have gone missing.

Suki gasped as Austin walked away.

She waited until he got in the bus and it'd driven away so she started to make her way back home, in tears.

\- You don't understand. - She whispered to herself as her tears fell quickly. The air around her was as cold as its never been since they'd arrived in Canada.

Suki started to run.

She didn't know why, she just felt like if she'd focus, even if for just a few seconds, on something else, then her son's judgement wouldn't hurt so bad. She was the one to demand he'd tell her what was on his mind, after all.

And in her son's mind, she was just the worst mother on Earth. The weakest one.

The sighting of her house was what made Suki's legs give up and she fell on her knees, crying even harder than before. She started coughing, again.

And suddenly, on the white bright snow, now there was a dot of something red and thick and hot.

 _Blood_.

\- No... - She whispered.

And in her mind, Suki was taken back to the day she killed a man and buried him by the back of her home, in a shallow grave dug up by her husband. The day she was so desperately trying to forget. Blood all over her kitchen.

Blood on her clothes, blood on her hair, blood on her feet. Her broken nose.

Blood on her hands.

_Blood._

_-_ NO! - She screamed into the white nothingness in horror. Punching the snow. - NO! NO!

Blood running down her chin.

\- I didn't have a choice! - She kept on repeating that as she started to feel dizzy. It felt like she had a weight on her chest and she couldn't breathe.

She was chocking on air.

\- I didn't... No...

Suki fell back on the snow and fought to keep her eyes open as the whole forest seemed to be spinning fast around her, like the wheels of a locomotive going on full speed.

She closed her eyes.

———————————————————————

**One week since arriving in Tokyo, Japan.**

\- _Please. -_ A man tickling a violin told Miles to sit down.  
 _\- Thank you. -_ He looked around, unbuttoning one of the buttons on his jacket. The pill secure under his tongue.  
\- _I know you think who I am, right?_  
 _\- You're Mr. Lee._  
 _\- I think I should let you know that's not my real name but that's how I'm known, yes. Or maybe now you know too much. -_ Lee stopped tickling the violin out of a sudden. Miles was eyeing him. - _I'm just kidding. -_ He smiled at Miles with his crooked teeth. - _Well, I would like to let you know that I'm very excited to have you in Japan, it was a marvelous work what you did with Capone, back in the West._  
 _\- Thank you._ \- Miles nodded. - _But I don't understand how this is related to our business here._  
 _\- Yeah, sorry. Allow me to explain. You see, for some time I've been looking for someone who could help me to defeat Kazuya. It's been a year or two...or three... memory is a funny thing, isn't it? Is it me who remember wrong or is really time itself that's wrong? How can two people being in the same room, doing the same thing, watching the same fight, remember things differently? -_ Lee leaned over the desk, getting his face closer to Miles'. - _What is it that you can see that I cannot?_

The tickling on the violin had grown nervous and Miles was almost yanking the instrument off of Lee's hands and smashing it on the wall to make that stop.

\- _When I was a kid, in my village, there was this white statue of a big horse in the middle of the square, opposite to the fountain. My friends and I would always go to play there but there was a legend that if you stayed up late enough you could hear the horse trotting around town so I've always been scared of it as a kid. My friends would mount it, run around it, hide behind its legs... but I couldn't do it. One night I asked my mom to let me sleep at my friends' house. But the thing is; we didn't sleep, we stayed awake for so many hours waiting to hear the horse. And so we did, I don't know what time was it but him and I, we sat by the window and shut our mouths, held our breaths. It was the horse, we could perfectly hear it, and we were terrified... my friend even pissed himself._  
 _On the next morning, I went to tell our other friends that the horse did go for walks in the late hours but my friend, the one who pissed himself, said I was lying. He said his mother had said our imaginations were too fertile and that there was no such thing as a walking statue. All of our other friends ridiculed me. Several years later, I went back there and exploded the statue with dynamite. A thousand million little pieces... I_ know _that horse wandered around at night, I remember it. So what was it that my friend couldn't remember? Or refused to?_

Lee fell silent for a moment.

\- _What was it I was talking about? -_ Lee asked Miles.  
\- _Uh... -_ Miles cleared his throat. - _Kazuya._  
 _\- Oh, right. For some time Kazuya's been back in the "Tokyo" market and he's been being a nag._  
 _\- The Tokyo market? But we're in Kyoto, that's a bit far away from Tokyo, I beli—_  
 _\- Not the city, the drug. Have you never heard of it?_  
 _\- A drug called "Tokyo"... I don't think I—_

And then Lee put his violin aside and opened a little cachet and laid a white powder on the wooden desk. He lined the powder up, rolled up a bill and handed it to Miles.

\- _You mean: cocaine._  
 _\- No, I mean: Tokyo. Shoot it up. -_ Lee nodded at Miles.   
\- _I don't think I... I mean, I don't..._

_I'm currently fighting another drug addiction._

But Lee just kept staring at Miles, waiting for him to snort the powder.

Miles gave in, eventually, and took the rolled up bill into his hand, leaned over the desk, spit the pill under his tongue on his hand, discreetly, and blocked one of his nostrils while he inhaled through the other.

He hid the pill on his coat pocket as he started to see stars exploding right behind his eyelids. A whole galaxy being born.

\- _This is... -_ He tried to say, suddenly his tongue was feeling too heavy.  
 _\- Something else, right?_  
 _\- I am..._  
 _\- Sit back, relax. Let it run through you, we'll talk again in a few._

Lee grabbed the bow and started to play, really play, the violin. A soothing melody.

He was a strange man, that was for sure.

Miles sighed heavily as he let his body fall back on the comfortable chair and closed his eyes once more.

There was adrenaline running through his blood and staying still, just sitting there, was taking up a lot of his effort. He wanted to get up and run, punch somebody, dance, fuck some random girl. Waste that energy, make that restlessness go away.

It took him half an hour to calm down just a tad.

\- _How do you feel? -_ Lee asked, putting the bow down and going back to tickling the violin.   
\- _Fucking great. -_ Miles replied. - _This is some quality shit. -_ He was opening and closing his fist, still pumped up.   
\- _Understand why I'm worried, now? I'm the biggest distributor of this drug in Japan and outside Japan, right now, and with Kazuya wanting to get back into the business, my kingdom is threatened. I sell loads and loads of this shit every month. Tell me; what did you feel when you snorted it up?_  
 _\- I felt... it's different from regular cocaine._  
 _\- Yes. But what did you feel?_  
 _\- I felt like running, I felt like fighting, I felt like playing guitar for hours and hours straight until either the skin of my fingers break or the strings._  
 _\- Any sexual impulses? -_ Lee asked the same way he'd have asked Miles what time of the day it was.  
\- _Yes._  
 _\- Of course, that's why I sell so much of that. Men all over the country use it not only to get pumped up but also to please their women and make it last longer. Make a name for themselves._  
 _\- The so called "Japanese white honour"._  
 _\- Exactly. I think some of the women might use it too. I don't care, what I care is: I don't want Kazuya on this and you're the only one who can help me._  
 _\- How?_  
 _\- You're a personal friend of his wife an—_  
 _\- Leave Elisa out of this or there's no deal._  
 _\- No_ , _I don't mean to involve her. I'm just mentioning her because from all of us, you're the one to get the closest to them. To him. And when I've learned that you were the one to orchestrate the whole thing to get Al Capone arrested and were willing to come to Japan to meet Ms. Kamenashi, I told my men to make all efforts to bring you here and have this meeting with you. I have a whole army. I have so many men willing to fight for my name but I know that I cannot get to Kazuya because I do not know a single weakness about him. The only ones who do are you and Kayoko or you or Kayoko but what I want is between the two of you so_  
 _I'll be helping you to get to her._  
 _\- Why didn't you get to her, then?_  
 _\- I don't want to start a war._  
 _\- What are your terms?_  
 _\- I don't have terms, I just need you to kill Kazuya and I'll be_ anonymously _helping you, and your two associates, to get where you need to be._  
 _\- Speaking of_ associates, _when will I be meeting up with my friends, again?_  
 _\- All in its time._  
 _\- Kazuya is after my family so you can rest assured that he is going to die, no matter what._

Lee didn't say anything, he just resumed the playing of his violin. A soothing melody, but this time a different one.

The door of the office was opened. A half naked woman walked in. She had long, dark lustrous hair and a fringe. She looked like she was made of porcelain. Beautiful.

\- _Take Mr. Kane to one of our rooms, please. -_ Lee told the woman as she eyed Miles.  
\- _I'm sorry, Mr. Lee, but I won't be staying, I—_  
 _-_ I'm _sorry but you have no choice. This is my den and once the doors are closed, for safety reasons, they're only opened again in the morning. Oh and, also, this place is your fortress, whenever you feel in danger you find a way to get here and once you're in, nothing can get to you._  
 _\- ...a'ight. I guess._

Am I being held a hostage for the night? _Miles thought to himself._

 _\- You guess?_  
 _\- I'm sure. I agree._  
 _\- Good. Hanae, and how many ladies you want, will entertain you for the night. Take the Tokyo with you and make_ good use _of it. You're my guest. I'm really very happy to have partnered up with you, Mr. Kane._  
 _\- I... uh... say the same, Mr. Lee._

Lee and Miles stood up and then shook hands. Right after, Miles was escorted to a room in the back by one of Lee's escorts, and decided he would really forget about everything that night, at that particular time and place. Suddenly he was feeling so miserable. He didn't know if he was gonna make it back home or if he had gone all the way to Japan to die there. All he could hope was for Suki to be fine and able to take good care of Austin. That she could fend for herself and their boy.

Miles looked at Hanae, sitting in front of him, waiting.

He told her to get closer and turn around, then he pushed her hair aside to expose her skin and snorted two more lines of _Tokyo_ off of her shoulder. He could hear her giggling.

And that was the last thing he remembers before the whole universe exploded behind his eyes, again.

_————————————————————————_

_\- Astro, stop! Stay!_

The voice sounded like it was very distant. Like the voices you hear calling you back from inside a dream.

\- She's breathing. - A man whispered to himself while he crouched near to Suki and put the back of his hand next to her nose to make sure of that. - Hey, lady. Can you hear me?

No answer.

The man was hesitant to touch Suki's arm and face but in the end, after having called her many times, he had to.

\- Hey, miss. - He slapped her right cheek, gently. - Please, wake up. - He begged at the same time he was eyeing the blood stain on the snow.

Suki started to open her eyes, after a bit more of calling and slapping.

Her lips were somewhat purple and so were the tips of her fingers. She had snow on her hair and a blood stain on her chin.

She squinted her eyes at the sky's _exaggerated_ brightness.

\- Where am I? - She whispered. - Who are you? - She asked, a bit alarmed. Her senses coming back to her.  
\- Sorry... I... You passed out, apparently. Got a bit of blood on your chin. - The man pointed at his chin and Suki touched her own, almost mirroring the man. - I was trying to wake you up, it's too cold out here. Are you ok?

Suki was looking around, still a bit confused.

She was freezing.

\- I... I was just coughing and...

 _Maybe you're the one who should have gone missing._ Suki remembered Austin's words.

She started sobbing, again.

\- Are you ok? - The man asked, again. But Suki couldn't stop crying and she didn't respond. - I'll take you to the hospital. What's your name?  
\- I don't know you. - Suki's defense mode was up and back at it again. - You're not taking me anywhere. Who are you and why are you here? - She tried to get up.  
\- I'm Thomas. - He said, helping Suki to get up from the ground covered in snow. - Astro, my dog, and I are looking for a lost puppy of ours.   
\- Tiny. - Suki said in a whisper. She was back on her feet by now.   
\- I'm sorry?  
\- Your puppy, I think I have it. - She was rubbing her chin to try to get rid of the blood. - My son and I were playing outside when we found it. - She said and took a deep breath, holding the tears back.

_Stop showing weaknesses in front of this man, you don't know him._

\- See, Astro! - Thomas signaled and the dog approached him, wagging his tail. - Your baby is alive! Ruby's gonna be happy too. - He was petting the dog.

Suki smiled a bit.

\- We don't know how she got lost but she's stubborn, that one. Only does what she wants. But yeah, this is a talk for another time, now I think you should really let me take you to the hospital. My house's not far so I can bring the car arou—  
\- No need. Thank you. - Suki dismissed the offer. - Well, my name is Suki, by the way. Nice to meet you and all that. My... my house is... - She looked around, a bit confused, until she recognized her surroundings. - just over there so I'm just gonna go inside and have some tea and it will be fine. And I prefer to call you by your last name.  
\- Nice to meet you too, you can call me Mr. Horowitz, but, are you sure? I mean, about not going to the hospital.  
\- Yes. - Suki said, firmly.

Both fell silent for a moment.

\- Well, since I have your dog and all...

_Think hard before saying the next words, Suki. It's a risk you'll be taking. This man could be lying._

_-_ Why don't you come with me and... I can thank you for... waking me up, with a cup of tea. Or coffee, if you prefer.  
\- I think it's... fine, yeah. Thanks.  
\- Alright, then. This way.

After having walked for almost ten minutes, Suki opened the door of her home and got in first, she welcomed Thomas.

\- Stay there, Astro. - Thomas reprimanded Astro when he tried to follow him inside the house.  
\- No, you can let him in if you want, it's cold outside.  
\- Are you sure?  
\- Yes, let him in. You can sit on the living room while I go look for Tiny, she's probably in Austin's room. I'll be just a minute.

Thomas called Astro inside and ordered the dog to sit down by him on the sofa of Suki's cozy living room.

And then, for the first time in his life, Astro disobeyed Thomas when he saw his puppy. The dog ran towards Suki and when she put the puppy down, Astro sniffed his daughter from head to toe and barked a bit, looking back at his owner.

\- Yeah, we found her! - Thomas said, smiling a bit at Astro, who was back to sniffing Tiny.   
\- This is so cute.   
\- I didn't expect _this_ reaction, I mean, Astro and Ruby, the puppy's mother, have always been lovely dogs but right now I've seen my boy here behaving like a proper father. It's... I don't know, I don't have words.

_Like a proper father._

\- Well, yeah. That was... what a father would... I'm gonna go into the kitchen. Are you having tea or coffee?  
\- I'll be having whatever you're having.  
\- Tea it is, then. I'll be right back.

Thomas Horowitz was a tall man with "easy" features. He genuinely looked like a good person—and behaved like a good person. He had dirty-blond hair and eyes as blue as the ocean. A beautiful, loving smile, too. Suki reckoned he should be about Miles' age.

Meanwhile, in the kitchen, Suki was wondering if she should hide a knife under the tray's small cloth or if she should trust Thomas wouldn't bring any harm upon herself or her son.

She dismissed the idea very quickly; couldn't bear the idea of harming anyone, ever again. And maybe if she had to, she'd tell Austin to run to Alexa and go down with her opponent. In her mind, it was better to be dead than have to kill anyone else.

\- Here it is. - Suki said, putting a tray with a tea pot, a little saucer with sugar blocks and two teacups on the coffee table, in front of Thomas. A plate with some muffins, too. - Do you take sugar?  
\- Two, please. Thank you. - He said when Suki passed him his teacup. - Are you sure you're ok to be walking around?  
\- Yes, I feel fine. Really.

She sat down on the opposite sofa.

\- So, when did you find the pup? - Thomas asked Suki, sipping on his tea.  
\- Last week, on Tuesday I believe.   
\- That's the very day she ran away. Thank God you found her... she could have... I'm glad she's fine.  
\- Yeah. She was kind of... dormant, when we brought her inside. I put her inside my beanie and we sat by the fire to warm ourselves up, my son and I, he was very worried about her because she was barely breathing, actually.  
\- You saved her just in time.  
\- I guess... and so I knew she was lost and her mom was probably looking for her so I was waiting for the snow to give us a break then I could ask around if anyone's been missing a dog but then you found me first.  
\- Yeah, I appreciate it, I mean, most people wouldn't think about the mom, you know? There are other five pups, actually, but I feel like Ruby misses... Tiny. - Thomas shrugged and Suki chuckled.  
\- My son named her. - Suki said and sighed.

_It's all your fault!_

_-_ Hate to say it but he's gonna be very sad to see Tiny go away. I mean, I told him that if we found the mum we would give the dog back but I think that at some point _I_ didn't want to find her mum so we could keep her. She's very loved by us already.  
\- Well... I...   
\- _I'm home!_

Austin slammed the main door on his way in.

\- Austin, come into the living room, please! - Suki called. - I'm sorry. - She whispered an apology to Thomas.  
\- For? - He pretended not to know what Suki was talking about.

Suki hadn't raised Austin so he could just slam doors as he pleased.

\- Yes? - He asked, in a bored voice, until he saw Thomas and looked somewhat confused. He frowned.  
\- First I want you to apologize for slamming the door, there's no need for that, you know it.  
\- Yeah... sorry. - His eyes glued on Thomas.  
\- Now, I'd like to introduce you to Mr. Horowitz. He is the owner of Tiny's mum.

The confusion on Austin's face was replaced by disappointment.

\- And this beautiful dog right here is called Astro, he's Tiny's father.  
\- Oh... - It was all that came out of Austin's mouth. He just stayed standing there, frozen.

And then when he moved again, he ran into his bedroom, slamming the door and locking it.

Suki sighed heavily.

\- I'm sorry. We've been going through... a hard time. I don't quite know how to handle this so... I wish kids came with an instruction manual. - She tried to joke but deep down she was really worried about the possibility a time would come where she wouldn't be able to handle Austin, anymore, and he'd probably follow Miles' _path._  
 _-_ I know we just met... and under the most strange circumstances but if there's any way that I can help...  
\- Thank you. - Suki said quickly. Dismissing the offer.  
\- So I was actually about to tell you that even though I feel Ruby misses Tiny, she and Astro have the other five puppies and... well, this one is being taken care of so well that I should let her stay here. If you still want to keep her, that is.  
\- Really? I mean, yes, I do want to keep her. We love her.   
\- Then she stays. Well, under one condition.  
\- Huh?  
\- That you allow Astro and Ruby to come see her every once in a while, I think it's fair.  
\- Yes, of course you all can come pay us a visit anytime.  
\- We have a deal.

Suki and Thomas shook hands.

\- Oh, I was gonna comment on it but the conversation changed paths so I'm gonna say it now. Your muffins are just divine!

Suki laughed a bit.

\- Thank you. Well, I'm a chef, actually.  
\- Really?  
\- Yeah, used to have a restaurant back in Florida and everything.... You just gave me an idea, actually. Since you allowed us to keep Tiny and also kind of... saved me from freezing to death, what about I host a dinner for you and your wife? It's gonna be a pleasure and also Austin will be able to thank you, too.  
\- I accept the invitation but I'm gonna be the only one who's coming.   
\- I...  
\- I don't have a wife, it's just me and my dogs. - Thomas chuckled and shrugged.  
\- Oh, that. - Suki laughed a nervous little laugh.   
\- Won't that be a problem for your husband? - Thomas asked, pointing at Suki's wedding band.   
\- We're not... I mean, he doesn't live here. - Suki said. Maybe it was better not to tell him right away that Miles was missing and specially the reason he was missing. - It's a bit complicated. So no, it won't be a problem. I do insist you come.  
\- If it's not gonna be trouble then I'll come.   
\- Great. The day after tomorrow works for you?  
\- Yes, it does. But are you sure you're ok? I mean, there was blood on the snow and...   
\- Yes, I'm ok. I'm fine, I promise.  
\- The day after tomorrow, then.   
\- 7pm.  
\- Alright. Well, I think Astro and I will be leaving, now. - Thomas said, getting up.   
\- I'll walk you to the door. - Suki said, getting up, as well. She coughed a bit.   
\- We live just down the road, a mile after you turn left. If you need any help you're welcome to knock on our door. Right, Astro?

Astro barked in response.

Suki smiled a bit.

\- He's so cute. - She said, petting Astro. A question popped up in her head. - Do you think Tiny will be as obedient as him when she grows up?  
\- Well, Astro is trained.   
\- Oh... yeah, of course.  
\- I trained him so I could try to train Tiny, if you want.   
\- Oh, really?  
\- Yeah. It's no trouble at all. I don't work every day so I could do it on my free days... it wouldn't start for some time but it wouldn't take that long to start, as well.  
\- I think it's fine, then. I mean, it's gonna be good for Austin, to erase his first impression of you... I mean, he thinks you came here to take the dog away and everything.  
\- That's for sure. And he could help me with the training if he wants, too.  
\- I bet he'll want, yeah.  
\- Yeah.   
\- See you in two days, then? - She asked.   
\- Yes, Mrs...   
\- Kane. - She told him.

Thomas nodded at Suki and started to walk away. Astro always following him.

Suki closed the main door and picked Tiny up, she went to knock on Austin's bedroom door.

\- Austin, please open the door.  
\- _No._  
 _-_ Austin, please.  
\- _Go away, mom._  
 _-_ Open the door right now!

Suki heard the door be unlocked. She pushed the door open but didn't enter the bedroom.

\- Tiny...?  
\- Yes, it's Tiny. She's right here. Thomas said we could keep her since we're taking good care of her. But I'm really disappointed in you, Austin. Slamming doors, saying hurtful things to me.

Suki got down on one knee so she could put Tiny on the floor. She stayed that way while Austin got off his bed and came to hug the dog.

\- Mr. Horowitz is coming to have dinner with us the day after tomorrow so we _both_ can thank him for his kind gesture and patience. You're gonna apologize.   
\- I didn't do anything.  
\- Yes, you did! You slammed the main door, you slammed your bedroom door, you didn't say hi to Mr. Horowitz. You were extremely rude so you _are going to_ apologize, otherwise there will be consequences.   
\- Alright. I'm sorry, mom. I really am.   
\- I accept your apology. Come here, let me tell you something.

Austin approached his mother.

Tiny nestled in his arms.

\- I know I'm not the best mother in the world but I'm trying. I really am trying. Maybe it was gonna be easier if I were the one who's missing but I'm not and I'm here, doing my best to keep you safe, to keep you fed, to keep you warm. You have no idea about the things I had to do so we could safely get to Canada. So please, you know you can tell me anything, we can talk about everything, but be careful with your words because they hurt. A lot.

Austin just kept looking at his mother for a minute.

\- Mom, your... nose.  
\- What?

Suki touched her nostrils and then there was blood on her fingertips. She got up.

\- I'm fine. It's just that's too cold today. Keep your sweater on, ok? Even inside the house. I'm gonna wash this and it's gonna be ok, don't worry, I'm fine. Keep an eye on Tiny.

Suki walked into the bathroom and looked at herself into the mirror.

She was pale, her lips were still a bit pale and there was a lot of blood coming out her nose. Dripping down into the sink.

_What the fuck is happening now?_

_———————————————————————_

When Miles woke up, he was feeling like he had been hit by a train. It felt like he could have slept for only a couple of hours or for two whole days.

The dim lights of the room also didn't help him to distinguish at what place in time he was in. And his right arm was dormant but he quickly found out why.

Miles looked around the scene surrounding him to see other three women tangled up in him—one of them using his arm as a pillow—and they were all naked. Miles included.

\- My fucking God. How you're such a slut, Miles. - He groaned, gently pulling his arm back from under the girls' head. - He pressed his forehead with his left hand and suddenly felt such a thirst like he hadn't drank anything in a whole year.

He pushed all the ladies legs' aside and got off the bed, dressing up his underpants and trousers. He saw a jar of water near a vase of flowers on a table by the door and didn't think twice before reaching for it. He downed it all in just three gulps.

Miles wiped his mouth with the back of his hand while his eyes fell upon another interesting thing standing on that small table.

He grabbed the bottle of Tokyo and opened it.

\- I wouldn't do it right now if I were you.

He heard a sweet feminine voice, coming from behind him, from some part of the room. He didn't turn around to look.

That lovely Japanese accent from when they try to speak in English.

Miles felt when Hanae pressed her body against his back. He could tell she was naked without even looking at her, just by the feeling of her smooth skin against his own skin, still he turned around to face her.

She had one breast covered by her long, dark, silk like hair while the other was completely exposed. 

She had a beautiful figure.

_Almost reminded Miles of somebody he had loved._

And she didn't seem to care she was naked. To Miles, it felt like that was her natural state—actually, it'd be the state of us all, humans, if clothes hadn't been invented to be used almost all the time. She took a step closer to him and grabbed the bottle from his hand.

\- This is highly addictive, that I can tell you. - She spoke, twirling the bottle around and then looking at him.  
\- I didn't intend to do more.  
\- No, not right now, I know. - She said, putting the bottle back at the table by the door and a hand on Miles' waist. - But eventually you'll miss it, and then you'll want it.   
\- I think I can control myself.   
\- Did Lee tell you about the story about the horse statue back at his village? - She asked, out of the blue.  
\- Yes... - Miles seemed confused by the change of the subject.   
\- Well, did he tell you that he tied up and exploded his "childhood friends" along with the statue?  
\- What? - Miles asked, thinking he had misheard something.  
\- Yeah. That's how he deals with junkies, too. - She caressed Miles' face. - I don't do Tokyo, I only benefit from it through the people who do, like you last night. But if I were you, I'd be very, very, very careful while dealing with Lee. He's a good man, he lets me do everything I want like I'm a princess or whatever, but he can also turn on you if you don't please him. - By now she was rubbing Miles' lips with her right index.   
\- Why are you telling me all this?  
\- Because I liked you when I first saw you and I don't want you dead over powder. We could have many other fun nights, together. I mean, I know you're on a mission but I'm here to relieve your stress, anytime you want. - She was kissing his cheek, near his mouth, very softly.   
\- If Lee protects you, why would you ever warn me about him?   
\- Because he's good but he's no fun. He doesn't _do_ me. He gives me everything I want but he's never touched me and then he told me to tend to your needs, that was a good thing. I was in need of something like that. You're a breath of fresh air around here, you come from the West. You have other values. And yeah, I don't know how much you remember from last night but it will slowly get back to you and then you'll understand what I'm talking about.

Hanae gave Miles a peck on the lips and walked away from him. Dressing up her kimono and tying it around her waist.

\- What do you need now? - She asked him, sitting by the end of the bed, pushing the other girls' legs aside. It looked like they were dead but they were just exhausted and sleeping like rocks.

\- I want to know what time is it. - Miles told Hanae, looking around the room for any clues of sunlight.  
\- We're underground. - She explained to him. - But I wouldn't worry if I were you. As Lee said, you're safe here. I can prepare a bath for you and then I can bring you breakfast. There's no rush to leave.   
\- Thank you so much but I don't think I can relax that much knowing the true reason why I'm in Japan. My friends are out there and... I don't know if they're well, I don't know when I will see them again.  
\- Why to worry in anticipation, then? What is it gonna help with? Lee's arranging everything and when it's time, he'll pull his strings. Trust him. And the more you stay here, if there's anyone looking for you out there, they won't know where you are and you'll be safer a little longer.

Miles stopped for a minute and then sighed a heavy sigh.

\- I can't give you a single reason why you could be wrong. - He said, looking at Hanae.  
\- It's because I'm always right. - She said with a cocky smile, standing up. - Well, if I may, I suggest you grab your belongings and leave with me so I can take you to another room where you're gonna be more comfortable and you can ask me as many questions as you want.

She made it sound like a suggestion but it was really kind of an order.

Miles put his clothes back on and grabbed everything that was his before following Hanae to another room.

They went up a staircase and when Hanae pushed open the door to another room—a delicately decorated one—sunlight invaded Miles' eyes and somehow that seemed to alleviate some bad feeling inside of his chest.

\- There you have your answer. - Hanae said, locking the door of the room behind them. - It's the middle of the afternoon.   
\- We've been sleeping that long? - Miles sounded surprised.

Hanae laughed a bit.

\- You'll remember why. Lie down if you want, I'm gonna get your bath ready, it should take ten minutes.  
\- Alright... - Miles said, looking around the room. At the paintings on the walls, at the dressing table, at himself into the full body mirror.

He lied back down on the comfortable bed and kept staring at the ceiling, trying to remember what the hell had happened the night before. Why his muscles were feeling so sore.

\- It's ready. - Hanae approached the bed to call Miles. - She took his hand and he followed her into the bathroom.

She helped him undress and he got into the tub filled with bath salts and sakura flowers.

-How do you like it? - She asked, sitting by the bathtub.   
\- It's very relaxing. Thank you. - He looked at her.  
\- Is there anything you want?   
\- Did Lee really exploded his "friends"? - Miles frowned.  
\- Yes. You see, Lee's hunger for revenge is unstoppable, the more he gets it, the more he wants it. So if you cross him once, he'll never forget it and he'll carefully hatch it until he finds the perfect moment to rip your head off or something like that. And I mean it like literally rip your head off.

 _Great, I'm dealing with a lunatic._ Miles thought.

\- I see...  
\- But don't worry, as you can tell I live here and I was here the whole time while he was negotiating with some people to bring you here. He values you too much, you're his only hope.   
\- And what if I fail him?   
\- You won't. Don't worry. - She said, moving behind the tub so she could massage Miles' shoulders. - You're so tense!   
\- I'm worried. I'm worried about my friends, my family, I'm worried about my son... - Miles started to get lost in his thoughts. - I just wish they're doing fine, that they're safe.  
\- Oh, so you have a son? That's cute. What's his name?  
\- Austin.   
\- That's a pretty name for a, I bet, pretty boy.

Miles smiled a bit and closed his eyes, letting Hanae work her magic on his muscles.

\- Well, I'm not blind so the first thing I noticed is that you wear a wedding band. Do you miss her too much? - Hanae asked Miles.  
\- Yes and no. - He raised his hand to look at the ring on his finger and then put it on his lap, in the milky water, again. - It's a bit complicated, she and I.  
\- Alright.

Both fell silent for a moment.

Just the sound of water splashing as Hanae massaged Miles' arms, now.

Hanae was so easy to talk to, suddenly he wanted to tell her all about his life but he doubted there was something Lee didn't already know if she was trying to get information from Miles and go running to tell her boss.

Miles' life was an open, stained of blood, book that everyone had read.

\- I miss talking to her and her sense of humour. Her methodic rituals every morning. How she always cuts the bread a certain way. I miss her company. I miss her voice.   
\- You mean; you miss her like a friend.  
\- Yeah. - Miles admitted after a few seconds of thinking. - She's my best friend.  
\- Don't you miss her like _a woman,_ too?   
\- It's complicated, I told you. Our marriage is... I've been married to another woman before my current wife, and that one I loved. I loved her with my whole being and when we finally got together it was like nothing else even mattered. It was she and I and this fire we shared, we couldn't keep our hands off of each other and we couldn't stand to be separated very long. All of our nights were long nights.   
\- She's the one who died, I assume.

_See? I knew you already know everything about me._

\- Yes. It took me a decade to get over her. And then Suki and I only got married because we slept together a few times and she got pregnant with our son. But we live a good life as housemates so, yeah... after everything that happened and all the losses, it is still a good life.  
\- I see.   
\- I don't know why I'm telling you all this, though. - Miles played dumb.  
\- Maybe you just needed to vent. It's ok. - She shrugged. - Your fingers are pruning up, what about you leave the tub, now?  
\- It's very good here but I think it'd be wise to leave. - Miles said, adjusting his position to get up and out of the tub. Hanae gave him a fluffy bathrobe.

Miles walked near the small window to take a look outside. The ground of the enormous garden surrounding the place was covered in pink petals.

_Absolutely beautiful._

\- What do you want for lunch? - Hanae asked Miles while she emptied the bathtub.  
\- I want you to order someone else to bring us something for you to eat and then you're gonna take a bath and get some rest. You've been meeting my demands since I've arrived, you must be tired. And besides, it's time _I_ leave or I'll be stuck here another night.   
\- But I thought you'd enjoyed the company.  
\- Very much, love. But if you give me too much of you, I'll grow tired. I grow tired of things very easily.  
\- I want to make a bet then. - Hanae said, with a playful expression, pushing a strand of hair behind her ear.  
\- I'm all ears.  
\- You come back every night for a week, if you grow tired of me, I'll name other girl to take care of your needs.   
\- If I don't?  
\- You do everything I tell you to.   
\- And what would _you_ make me do? - Miles asked, with a smirk.  
\- When I win the bet then you'll see.   
\- We 'ave a deal, then.

_It's impossible I won't grow tired of you, Hanae. The only woman I never grew tired of is six feet under now and no one else lived up to her._

_-_ Comeback tomorrow. - Hanae told Miles, undressing herself completely and opening the tub's taps, again. She just started to ignore Miles while she tended to the water's levels and he walked out of the bathroom, closing the door behind him.

Miles scoffed.

He undressed the bathrobe, changed into his clothes and left the den before the dawn had fallen upon Kyoto, once again.


	16. Names

\- _Mom_?   
\- Come in. - Suki said, turning on the lampshade by her bed. She coughed. - Is everything alright?   
\- Is it? You don't stop coughing. - Austin said, approaching the bed and crossing his arms in front of his body, looking at his mother.  
\- Yeah, it's just that I'd been dusting while you were at school and—  
\- But it's been snowing, there's no dust. - Austin frowned.  
\- I had been dusting, Austin. You either take my word or you're calling me a liar. Are you calling me a liar?   
\- No, I'm not. Sorry. - He shook his head. - But I can't sleep with you coughing.  
\- I'm gonna go to the other room. I was gonna make some tea and then sit by the back of the house, anyway. It should be enough for you not to hear me anymore.  
\- I don't want to stop hearing you cough, I want you to stop coughing, mom. Are you sure you are ok? I think you should go see a doctor.  
\- I am fine. - Suki said and gestured so Austin would sit next to her for a minute. - I promise. - She took both his hands. - I just had been dusting.  
\- Why don't you hire someone to clean up the house, like back _home_?   
\- I will. But at the same time we don't know whom we can trust here. I'm sorry we have to live like this, always in defense mode, but there's a reason for it and your father told us to be careful in case we got ever separated, he and us.  
\- What about Mr. Horowitz?   
\- It's a risk I am taking. - Suki admitted. - But we would end up engaging with him anyway because if he hadn't found us, we would go looking for Tiny's mom and then we would have met Mr. Horowitz either way. I know that I should just shut him out altogether but he told us we could keep Tiny only if her mom and dad could come see her once in a while. I don't think he means danger to us, he really seems to be a good person but I want to ask you something, Austin.   
\- Yeah? - Austin looked at Suki's face.

She had looked a lot paler, lately.

\- Don't ever tell him anything about your father. Don't let him know your father's name or his age, or where he was born. Don't tell him what is Miles' job and don't tell him we have money. Can you do that?   
\- Yes. - Austin whispered.  
\- Great. That way Miles will be protected, too. - She nodded at Austin.  
\- Do you think he's ever coming back? - Austin asked, looking into the eyes of his mother.  
\- I don't know. - She admitted. - I trust Miles, he's clever and he works his way around everything. But this time... this time I don't know what is happening that's keeping him from finding us. All I know is that we had to run away and I left him a _message_ so he could find us but that was many months ago and by now he should've found us. Still, I will hold on to my faith that he is going to come back. If he was... _dead_ the police would have found his body and warned us but the police never found anything so I am sure - Suki got off the bed and crouched in front of Austin. - that Miles is alive and he's probably taking care of something that... well, I'm done hiding things from you.

Suki said like she meant to tell Austin the whole fucking story but that was actually just to make him feel included in the adult's matters surrounding him and maybe make his rebel behaviour go down a notch, when in fact she was ready to blatantly start lying about everything, once again.

\- The reason we had to run away from Miami is that there was a man trying to blackmail your aunt Alexa because of an old debt. A debt your uncle Alex had contracted. Miles went to talk to this man but the man did want his money no matter what, of course your father knew your uncle Alex hadn't actually contracted any debts, him and your aunt Alexa always had enough money. So when Miles went on the trip, on the train, that man went over to our house and started to threaten me. I thought that he had gone away after your father talked to him but he didn't and then he started to threaten me and I fought him. I physically fought him.   
\- Mom! - Austin's jaw had dropped a bit.   
\- Do you remember I had my nose broken when Alexa got back to her house with you and Aiden?  
\- Yes, I remember.  
\- It was because I fought that man. I hit him in the head and he passed out and then I ran and went for the police but when they got back to our house, the man was gone. So Alexa and I, we decided the best thing to do was to leave, immediately, and wait for the police to catch the man. So I think that, since your father works with the police sometimes, he is also chasing the man.   
\- Yes, that makes sense.   
\- Yes, it does. And I believe that's what's happening.  
\- I... think so... too. But mom, the man beat you! - Austin seemed shocked upon learning that info.  
\- But I scared him off so much that he ran away. And I also left him in a way worse state than the one I was in, don't worry.

_Dead, if you want me to say it with all the letters._

_-_ Still, I will punch him in the face if I ever see him! I'll knock all of his teeth out!   
\- Let the police take care of it! I don't want no violence surrounding my house. I'm fine, now. _We_ are fine, it's all fine.   
\- I hope dad finds him before the cops do.   
\- Austin, let it go. Don't get so angry over it, it's no use anymore.

Suki got up and that seemed to only make her to start coughing harder.

\- I want you to try to go back to sleep, now. - She was saying between coughs. - You've got school tomorrow morning.   
\- Are you sure you're gonna be fine?   
\- Yes.   
\- Wake me up if you need to?   
\- I promise.  
\- Alright. - Austin got up from the bed and hugged his mother. - I love you, mom. I'm sorry I'm still weak so I can't protect you when dad is not home.

Suki felt her eyes to be filled with tears.

\- Baby, we grow up on our own time. You're not weak, you're the bravest boy I know and you're gonna become the bravest man to ever walk the Earth, I'm sure of that. I can take care of myself until there, don't put the weight of the world on your shoulders, alright? Focus on school and making friends and growing up well. I'm the adult here, I can worry about everything else. I don't want you to worry about anything. Do you promise me that? Do you promise you won't worry?

By now Suki was almost crying.

\- I can try. But it's just us now, mom. When will I know when it's time to help you?  
\- You will know the same way you _know_ now it's not the time. Be a child while you still can, it's the best years of your life that you're living.

Austin just nodded.

His cheek brushing against the silk of Suki's nightgown.

\- I love you. - He said, looking at her.  
\- I love you, too. Now go to sleep. - She kissed the top of his head. Quickly dismissing him before she started to really cry in front of him. - See you in the morning.   
\- Good night, mom.

Suki stood on the same spot for almost five minutes after Austin left the room, lost in her own thoughts.

_What the fuck am I doing?_

The coughing brought her back to reality and she grabbed her blanket before going to the kitchen.

After having made a cup of tea for herself, Suki went to sit by the window on the farthest end of the house. She pulled the blanket tighter around her bones.

\- I don't have a fever... - She whispered, touching her forehead with the back of her left hand.

Despite looking pale and bleeding a little here and there, Suki didn't feel any different. She wasn't feeling weak, she didn't feel tired more than she should be feeling.

_Is "worried sick" literal? I mean, am I sick because I am too worried? Could it be possible?_

The same amount of thoughts as many stars there are in the sky went through Suki's mind until the Sun showed up, again.

———————————————————————

\- What the Hell are you doing here?

Caterine asked when she opened the door of her hotel room and stumbled upon Rolf, dressed as one of the staff members.

\- And you look ridiculous, by the way. We're in Japan, anyone would know you're actually not from the fucking staff. - She said, pulling him inside her room.  
\- Ow-ow, my arm! - Rolf complained and Caterine let go of him.  
\- What do you want?   
\- Did you manage to get in touch with Miles since we arrived? - He asked her while he massaged his arm.  
\- No, I haven't tried to get in touch with him because the _orders_ were not to get in touch with each other until we were reassured we are safe and there's no need to be reallocated! You shouldn't be here!   
\- Something is off. - He took a step towards Caterine, lowering his voice.

She eyed him for a moment.

\- I think so, too. - She said, after a long pause.  
\- They're treating you like they don't want you to be aware of anything, too?   
\- More or less. I have some questions no one wanted to answer.  
\- I feel like they're dealing with us because we came here with Miles but _we,_ as in you and I, don't really matter. And then they're keeping us separated and locked in our hotel rooms because together we could be trouble.   
\- I don't know if it goes this far but I'm tired of just sitting here all day. I want to hear from Miles so we'll know what to do and the sooner we start, the sooner we're going back home.  
\- Exactly.   
\- I wonder if they're treating Miles the same way... and if they're not then what are they telling him to keep him from trying to get in touch with us?   
\- I don't know... but I don't think they're telling him everything either because I'm sure he'd have tried to get to one of us, now.  
\- "Now?"  
\- Kazuya's left France.   
\- What? Where did he go? How do you know this?  
\- I got a hold of a letter and it took me a fucking week to translate it.   
\- A week?  
\- Yeah, but I gave up and bribed someone from a restaurant near the hotel to read it to me.   
\- A week and you didn't... Never mind.   
\- They allow you to leave this place? I mean, they gave me a map and I can walk five streets surrounding the hotel, that's the farthest I got but it was enough.   
\- Yes, they did the same to me but let's go back to Kazuya.  
\- So, the letter said... it's here actually. - Rolf said, taking off his shoe and pulling the letter out of it. He handed it to Caterine. - It says Kazuya left France two weeks ago, around the same time we were arriving in Japan, and they don't know where he went, hence the warning.   
\- It's written on red ink. - Caterine said, unfolding the letter and then looking back at Rolf's face.   
\- Yes. Miles told us red ink means trouble so I knew I had to find you.   
\- Why me? Why didn't you go looking for him so they can enforce protection around him?  
\- Miles has lost his ability to behave like he should in situations of danger. You weren't there on the following years after the death of his first wife, you wouldn't know. I need your help to get to him so we'll both be with him and figure out what to do, together, to keep him on his tracks and defend ourselves from Kazuya.  
\- First thing: you shouldn't have taken this letter. You should have tried to copy it but you shouldn't have taken it, you're the only stranger and the only person who could be interested on this matter so I highly doubt they don't know it was you who took this letter, it could be an implication for you in the near future.   
\- It'd take me too long to copy it, _if_ I had even thought about doing that. Somebody would have caught me.   
\- Fair. But don't take any other documents away, _please_ , we don't know what is happening and we don't know what they don't want us to know and maybe this letter is a part of that.   
\- I won't take anything else. I just took this one because it's written on red ink, otherwise I'd be clueless about its importance.  
\- Yeah, me too in your shoes. But I don't think Kazuya is coming to Japan, I think he's running away.   
\- You think so?   
\- Yes. He's smart. He knows we—or maybe he doesn't know about you and me... well, he knows Miles came to Japan to try to get to Kayoko, it's really obvious why he'd come here and not go to get Kazuya in France. And also, Kazuya is threatening Miles' family so it only makes sense Miles' would try to get to someone from Kazuya's family and that is...  
\- Kayoko.   
\- Yes. And since he knows what his sister is capable of, he went into hiding.   
\- Isn't his sister the most protected chick in Japan or something like that?  
\- Seems like he doesn't trust his men against Miles.  
\- Yeah, he shouldn't. 

Both Rolf and Caterine were whispering. They were sitting on her bed, so next to each other that an abrupt turning of the head could result in an accidental kiss.

\- So yeah, I think he's running away.   
\- That means that he's gonna try to make sure Miles doesn't get to Kayoko, _at all_...  
\- That part is what is worrying me the most. If I'm right, If _we're_ right and that's really the case about Kazuya then he already started his moves towards Kayoko' "security" and we're already at risk. We need to pay attention to her, if they're moving her somewhere else, if their routines will change.   
\- Meanwhile we have to try to get in touch with Miles and find out where he is.   
\- Yes, yes. I'm gonna try to send him a letter. Just an innocent letter, telling him about the hotel and unimportant matters as such. They'll have to hand the letter to him, otherwise when we're reunited I'd complain to him that he never replied to my letter and then the Japanese would be in an awkward situation, and then when he replies I'll use our code to find out where he is and then we're gonna get to him no matter what.  
\- Alright. I'm staying at this address... d'ya have a pen or pencil?   
\- Yes. - She got up and went to grab a pen from her stuff. - Here.

Rolf wrote his address down on a piece of paper and passed it over to her.

\- Alright. I'll run to you if things get really bad around here.   
\- I'll try to come see you again, I mean, I can tell them I got lost. What is going to be in fact true because I do not know how to go back to my hotel when I leave here.   
\- Ask for a cab to take you back.  
\- I will, but I need to be a bit far away from here before I hail a cab. It's safer in case they ask the driver where was the pickup point or something like that.  
\- You're not stupid, after all...  
\- I'm glad we agree on something.

He grinned at Caterine.

\- I'm gonna go away, then.   
\- No, not yet. It's cleaning hours so it's very probable that you'll run into a maid on your way out. Did someone see you get in?  
\- No, I got in through the back, straight into the staff's room. No one saw me.  
\- Great. I think you can leave in an hour or so.   
\- They're gonna come to clean your room, remember?  
\- Not anymore. - Caterine said, grabbing the "Do Not Disturb" sign and opening the bedroom's door to place it on the door's knob, real quick.   
\- Did you ever use that sign before?  
\- Yes. Why?  
\- They could judge it as "unusual behaviour". And by "them" I mean the people that are "taking care" of us.  
\- Yeah, yeah. But I've used the sign more than once, don't worry.

Both started to hear voices echoing in the hallway.

Caterine put her index finger on her lips and walked back to sit on the floor by the door. Rolf did the same. They kept listening to the voices outside.

\- It's the maids. - Caterine made Rolf read the silent words on her lips. He nodded at her.

She had her eyes closed, listening to the voices, trying to pick up any words. Rolf was watching her brows getting more and then less furrowed.

\- _Do not disturb._ \- A female voice read in English with a Japanese accent.

Caterine looked at Rolf.

Both were holding their breaths.

The murmur continued for a second longer and then the voices moved to the left, to the next room, resuming their talking in Japanese.

\- Safe. - Rolf whispered to Caterine.

She got up from the floor and went back to sit on the bed.

\- For now. - She whispered to herself.

———————————————————————

\- You're back!  
\- You said I could come back.  
\- I said you _should_ , and here you are. - Hanae smiled a bit at Miles. - Welcome back.  
\- Thank you. And yeah, I didn't feel like hanging out by myself, tonight.  
\- Good thing you came, then. There are a few other girls you haven't met yet.   
\- Yeah, you know... not really sure I feel like getting to know them.   
\- Yeah? Why?  
\- I kind of... remembered what happened the other night and... it didn't feel like something I would do if I wasn't under Tokyo's influence. So I'd rather not... meet anyone else.   
\- Well, your choice. And I told you it'd get back to you.  
\- I'd rather it didn't have.   
\- Do you think it was that bad? I thought it was fun... but well, what do you want to do tonight? I had some plans but...  
\- That room we were in, the one upstairs, it's your room, isn't it? I mean, your personal one.  
\- Yes, it is. Why?   
\- I liked the view from up there... And the tub, of course.   
\- Not the company?   
\- Mostly the company.   
\- Mhm... Well, I shouldn't have taken you there, if I'm being really honest. This floor is reserved for the guests and they can only go downstairs, never upstairs.   
\- Yeah, I see.  
\- But I have a feeling it's not gonna be trouble if I take you upstairs, again, because you're a special guest and I can do what I want around here so... yeah. - Hanae shrugged.  
\- I don't want to become a problem.  
\- You couldn't if you tried.

Hanae told someone from the staff to bring a bottle of _sake_ to her room and then told Miles to follow her upstairs.

\- Make yourself at home. - She told him, helping him to take his jacket off.

He nodded at her and unconsciously wandered off towards the window while Hanae seemed to be taking care of other matters around the room.

The enormous garden outside was all illuminated by thousands of japanese lanterns and there were some men still making their way to the den since the Sun hadn't completely set yet.

\- Have you fallen in love with the view, too? - Hanae asked, standing by Miles' side and also looking out the window.   
\- I think so...   
\- See that tree over there? - Hanae pointed at one of the biggest sakura trees in the garden.   
\- Yeah.  
\- Hit by lightning a bunch of times. Every time we think "this time it died" but then it always blossoms in the next spring.   
\- That's impossible.  
\- I know. Still, it's there, right there for us to witness. Come.

She grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the loveseat by another window. Miles had been watching things happening in the garden so attentively that he didn't even see when the bottle of _sake_ arrived.

Still it was there, wrapped up in a small white towel.

Hanae poured Miles some _sake_ in what looked like a small bowl.

\- Why is it warm? - Miles furrowed his brows a little bit, a funny expression on his face.  
\- Sorry, I didn't ask how you like your drink. We drink it warm.   
\- Really?   
\- Yeah, I'm sorry. But then if you let it rest for a bit it should cool do—  
\- No, it's ok. It's just that I didn't think I've had a warm drink before. I mean, every one puts ice on everything these days so it's really a surprise that there's a warm drink, that it is really a thing.

Hanae chuckled a bit.

\- That's true. I didn't know you hadn't had _sake_ before, I mean, you seem to be acquainted with the Japanese culture.  
\- Oh, then I just _seem_ to be because I had never seen a _futon_ before and I found really... interesting how my hotel bedroom seemed to be so empty. I mean, in the States there are a lot of furniture in the hotel bedrooms, like you have in your bedroom. - Miles said, looking around. - And then I got to this particular place here in Japan, and it didn't even have a bed. - Miles chuckled a bit.  
\- Yeah, I kind of prefer the "American way of sleeping". Got used to the beds downstairs so I asked Lee to have one up here as well.  
\- I see... - Miles said, sipping on his _sake. -_ This is really good. - He approved of the drink.  
\- I know right! Made of rice.   
\- Really? Well, I should have suspected. There's so much rice around here.   
\- National passion.   
\- Well, I like it too.

Miles and Hanae kept on drinking and talking. At some point she was laughing and at some point Miles was kissing her even though he couldn't blame it on the _sake._

He just _loved_ the cynical expression on her face.

The way she pretended not to know what would come next but if he'd let her guide the situation, she'd do him way more damage than what he was thinking about.

But Miles had decided he wouldn't just let her win their bet. If he'd sleep with her every night for a week then he'd be in her hands on the following week and that didn't seem like something he was willing to let happen.

And he also wanted to know if there was more to her than just good sex.

He could find good sex in a lot of places in Japan, but would Hanae have something else that he wasn't going to be able to find so easily?

\- I'm so tired. - He whispered into her ear after he was done kissing her neck.   
\- What if I took you to the bed? - She whispered back to him, grabbing his chin.   
\- Please, do.

But then the little victorious smile on Hanae's face vanished as soon as Miles' body hit the mattress and he started to fluff a pillow to put under his head and go to sleep.

\- What? You asked to bring me to the bed, here we are. I told you I'm tired.  
\- That's not fair! - She said, hitting him with the other pillow, laughing a bit. - You tricked me!   
\- That's what happens when you don't explicit your thoughts. Someone comes along and outsmarts you.  
\- Next time I'll make my mind so explicit that you're gonna wonder if you should ever be in a room alone with me in the first place.  
\- Next time? - Miles asked, looking at her.   
\- Yes.  
\- You're so certain I'm coming back.   
\- Because I know you are.   
\- I may... I may not. We'll see.   
\- I can tell.   
\- Just lie down with me, Hanae. Tomorrow's still too far away. - He invited her into his arms.  
\- I didn't say you were coming back tomorrow. - She said while he wrapped his arm around her waist and nuzzled his face into her neck. - _You_ just said it and confirmed you're coming back.  
\- I didn't, but it's alright. I'm too tired to argue, this time zone's been killing me since I've arrived.   
\- Right...

And then half an hour of silence went by and Hanae was still awake. She was lost in her thoughts but none of them were about Miles.

She sighed and unwrapped his arm from her waist before trying to get off the bed.

\- Come back to bed, Lil. - Miles unconsciously groaned into his pillow. He closed his hand into a fist, on a reflex, as if he was trying to grab her so she wouldn't leave.

Hanae looked back at him with a confused expression for a moment, about to correct him about her name, thinking maybe he had mistaken her for one of the other girls, but then the comprehension hit her and suddenly she was feeling... _sorry_ for him.

\- I will be back in a second, love. - She told him, giving him a kiss on the right side of his forehead before leaving the room and going back to the bar, downstairs.

———————————————————————

\- Good evening.  
\- Oh, hello, Mr. Horowitz. Come in, please!

Suki stepped aside and gestured for her guest to enter her house.

\- Can I help with the coat?   
\- Yeah, please. - He said, taking his coat off and handing it to her so she could hang it.   
\- Welcome, Mr. Horowitz. I'm Austin. - Austin said, meaning to shake the man's hand.  
\- Nice to meet you, Austin. Oh, what a firm handshake!   
\- You too. - Austin replied.   
\- This way, please. - Suki told Thomas so he could follow her to the dining room.   
\- Hope I didn't make you wait too long. - He told Suki as he was seated at the dining table. - The food smells so good, it must have been hard for you to wait, Austin.   
\- No, you're right on time. - Suki said, smiling a bit.

He was right on time.

\- It was ok. - Austin said. - I thought maybe you were bringing one of the dogs.   
\- He'd been asking me whether you would bring your dogs all day long. - Suki told Thomas.  
\- Oh, I didn't think I could! But maybe next time, alright?   
\- Yeah, it's alright. - Austin replied, looking at his mother.   
\- I didn't even think about it. - Thomas told Suki, when she approached him with the bottle of wine.  
\- Let's be honest: it kind of doesn't make sense.   
\- I think so.   
\- Well, for tonight's menu we have duck confit as the main dish, but I also roasted some pork just in case you don't like duck, I forgot to ask, I'm sorry.  
\- No, no. I like duck, don't worry. And even if I didn't I would be tempted to try it just because of the smell.

Suki chuckled a bit.

\- Alright. So, is there some part of it that you like better?   
\- No, I'm fine with any parts.   
\- Now we're talking.

Suki served Thomas and then Austin and then finally herself.

She joined the boys at the table and they started to eat and talk cheerfully. Even Austin laughed a bit when Suki hadn't hear him really laugh since Miles had gone missing.

That put a permanent smile on her face.

\- Yes! I think it's going to be very cool!  
\- Then it's settled, you're gonna be my assistant.   
\- Thank you!

Thomas and Austin had just agreed he would help Thomas to train Tiny so she'd "grow up into a fine, obedient dog". They'd start as soon as the winter had passed.

\- More wine? - Suki asked her guest.  
\- No, thank you. It's a marvelous wine but I have to work tomorrow, so I think it's best I don't drink any more.  
\- It's alright. But what is it that you work with, again? - Suki inquired, bringing her glass to her lips.  
\- I'm a painter.   
\- Oh, really? - Suki raised her brows. - What's your specialty?  
\- People. And then landscapes. But my problem with landscapes is that I keep on wanting to add details to the painting forever and therefore I never feel like it's finished. It's easier to add details to a painting of a person than to a painting of a forest, you see.  
\- I bet it is.   
\- Mom, may I be excused?   
\- Are we boring you? - Thomas asked Austin.  
\- No, it's not that. It's just that I'd like to go check on Tiny.  
\- Yes, you may. - Suki told Austin.

He seemed happy and she was happy to see that.

\- Put your trousers in the laundry room before you go to sleep.   
\- Uh... what? - Austin pretended to be confused.  
\- Alright, let's pretend I didn't see you stuff your pockets with duck so you could bring it to Tiny.   
\- You saw it!?  
\- Darling, you don't eat so fast, you can't fool me. - Suki said, holding back from laughing.  
\- I—  
\- It's alright, you can go. Just do as I said.

Austin left the dining room faster than lighting and then Suki and Thomas started to laugh a bit at the boy's astuteness.

\- Oh, that one. I don't know where he's taking me. - Suki said, shaking her head a bit.   
\- He seems to be in a better mood, tonight.   
\- He was laughing! He hadn't laughed in so long. Thank you for that. - She smiled a bit at Thomas.  
\- Oh, don't even mention it.   
\- So... - She started, pouring herself a little bit more wine. It was so good to be able to legally have alcohol around the house.

Fuck the States and the prohibition.

\- You're going to paint someone, tomorrow.  
\- Yes. There's this girl who's turning sixteen and her parents want to gift her a painting, amongst other gifts, of course. They're bringing her around in the morning.   
\- Interesting choice of a gift.   
\- Rich people. - Thomas shrugged.  
\- Of course.   
\- Well, being a painter requires I'm also an observer so, if I may...  
\- Yes, go ahead.  
\- You still look a bit pale. I'm sorry but I felt like I should tell you this.  
\- Yeah, I... I feel fine but I'm going to see a doctor. Maybe tomorrow, I don't know yet.   
\- That's good news.   
\- I think so.   
\- And there's something else I see but I think I might regret saying anything about it in a moment.  
\- Yeah?   
\- You're lacking a jewel.

Suki looked back at Thomas for a second until she understood what he was talking about.

\- I took it off to cook. Must have forgotten to put it back on. - She said, looking at her ring finger where her wedding band should be. - Were you thinking about some other reason?  
\- I thought maybe you and your husband had talked things through? I don't know. I can't help but to notice things, I'm really sorry.  
\- No, it's... I haven't heard from him for a long while, now. Even if I wanted to talk things through with him, I wouldn't be able to.   
\- Oh, I'm sorry. I would never think he could have just... left.  
\- He didn't. Not like that. It's complicated, I don't... Why wouldn't you think so?  
\- I don't know. I mean, you and your son are lovely people. I don't see why a man would just leave.  
\- I try. - He smiled a sad smiled. - But yeah, he didn't leave me. What happens is just that I don't know when he is coming back and so my life's in kind of a hold. I'm just trying to get Austin through it, that's all.  
\- I see... Good luck, then.   
\- Thank you.   
\- You're welcome. And now I ought to thank you for this marvelous dinner, I had never eaten so well in my whole life. Either your hands are magical or your stove is because it's honestly the best meal I've had in my life.  
\- Stop it.  
\- I mean it!   
\- Too bad I don't own a restaurant anymore or I could tell you to go there every night until you had tasted every single dish on the menu. On the house.  
\- That'd be too kind. It's really a shame.  
\- Yeah, I think so.   
\- It must have been hard to leave it behind.  
\- Oh, it wasn't. I had planned to own it just for a couple of years but then Austin was born and then I've owned the place for eleven years. In the end I passed it over to my _sous-chef,_ such a capable young woman, and then was ready to move away from Florida. I can't be in the same place for too long and yet I stayed there for more than a decade... I think I grew tired of it.  
\- I know how it feels. I've actually never moved anywhere else and I feel like I couldn't leave Canada but I understand the feeling because it happens to me, too. Not with places, tho. With my paintings. That's another reason why I don't paint too much objects. It's a bunch of still stuff that you can leave and come back and nothing will have changed. I don't like ever changing things.  
\- That makes two of us, then.  
\- I guess so. - He smiled a bit at Suki. - Well, thank you so much for your hospitality but I think I should go, now.   
\- It's still early... if you'd like to stay a while longer.  
\- I'd like to but I don't know exactly what time the girl is coming over to my house tomorrow morning so I better wake up early and be ready for her when she and her folks arrive. I mean, what if they're really crazy people who like to wake up early and then they'll be at my house at 7am?

Both Suki and Thomas laughed lightly at that imaginary scenario.

\- And you should go rest, too. And keep rest as much as you can until you go see a doctor. Resting has never hurt anyone so... yeah.  
\- Yeah, I'll do that. Thank you for your concern.

Suki walked Thomas to the main door. She and Austin said their goodbyes to their new "friend" and watched him leave and disappear into the cold night. They walked back into the dining room.

\- He is cool. - Austin said, while he helped his mother to clean up the table.   
\- Oh, _now_ he's cool. The first time you saw him, you didn't even say hi. - Suki said.  
\- I said I was sorry, mom.   
\- I know, but you see how we should never be rude to someone we don't even know? Of course he could be a bad person just as well but we should never judge a book by its cover. We should never judge people, actually. It's not our duty, here. We should talk to them, get to know them at least a little bit until we decided if we should keep them as friends or walk away from them and carry on with our lives.  
\- Yes, that is true. Maybe I left him under the impression I was a bad person, myself.  
\- You see how that goes both ways?  
\- Mhm-mhm. I won't do that again.

Austin helped his mother to take all the dishes back to the kitchen and then she told him she'd take care of everything from there. She thanked him and told him to go to bed in half an hour.

She looked at the dirty dishes on the kitchen sink and decided she'd do them the next morning. She grabbed the bottle of wine and walked towards the cabinet to grab a clean glass.

Her wedding band forgotten on one of the kitchen counters.

She grabbed it and meant to put it on her finger but in the end the ring was placed into the pocket of her skirt.

She grabbed the glass and went to sit by the window on the back of the house, just like she did on the night before.

_Where are you, Miles?_   
_Please, tell me you didn't really leave._

Was all she could think about while she poured herself one glass of wine after another as the night grew older.


	17. Hidden

**Bandit Couple Is Wounded and Captured After Iowa Gun Fight. Marvin Barrow and Wife Captured, former is near death. THREE SURROUNDED!**

**Clyde Barrow and Companions Believed Cornered by Posse Guthrie.**

_Center, Iowa Clyde Barrow, bandit suspect, and his two companions were believed surrounded by a posse of 200 men near here today and about four miles north of the Des Moines-Omaha highway. Barrow, a woman and a man believed to be Jack Sherman, escaped earlier this morning from a wooded tract at Dexter where Marvin Barrow and his wife were captured._

**_Dexter, Iowa_ **

_W. Marvin Barrow and his wife, bandit suspects, were captured here today in a battle with state and county officers. Barrow was, critically wounded. He is not expected to live, a physician who treated him, said. Two men, believed to be Clyde Barrow and Jack Sherman, and a woman escaped in a car stolen from Valley Fellers, a farmer. Three squads of state and county officers surrounded the woods where the five suspects were hidden early this morning. As they closed in, the suspects began to fire with machine guns. The officers returned the fire, wounding Barrow. "Rags" Riley, Polk-co deputy sheriff, was wounded in the encounter. Near Barrow and his wife, the officers found two machine guns, 34 automatic 45's and five revolvers._

**_Abandoned Auto_ **

_The three who escaped abandoned their car at Polk City, held up an oil station attendant and proceeded towards Des Moines in the attendant's car. Somewhere enroute they are believed to have left the woman, said to be "Mrs. Barrow. The five had been hidden in the woods for five days. Suspicion was aroused when Ed Penn, farmer, found bloodstained bandages in the woods while he was hunting blackberries. Workers in a restaurant became suspicious after one of the men for several days had purchased five dinners to take with him. Officers were notified, and the search which led to the shooting today was started. Marvin Barrow gave his address as Route 6, Dallas, Texas, where he said his mother, Mrs. C. B. Barrow, lives. He had been wounded in the head several days ago at a Fort Dodge tourist camp, Barrow said. In the battle today he was shot through the hips, and also sustained a severe, shoulder wound. Officers were certain that Clyde Barrow and the woman also were wounded seriously. They believed the name, Jack Sherman, given for the third man by Marvin Barrow, was an alias. Marvin Barrow said they had purchased their supply of guns from a soldier at Fort Sill, Okla., - for $150, Barrow, who was taken to a Perry hospital was released from Huntsville, Texas, penitentiary in March. Mrs. Barrow also was taken to the Perry hospital for treatment. Shattered pieces of glass penetrated her eyes in the battle. The Barrows are wanted at Mt. Ayr for robbery, officers said here._

Miles sighed and turned the radio off. There was a station where the most important news from the United States were read and so he'd know what was going on back in the West.

\- They're doing everything wrong. - Miles whispered as he looked at his shoes by the door, trying to decide if he was gonna go out that night or stay in and sleep early. - I can see how this is going to end... It seems like they didn't learn anything from _us_.

He grabbed the shoes, after all.

——————————————————————

\- News? - Rolf asked Caterine, sitting at her table in a restaurant near her hotel.

They were risking it big time but since they were barely being able to communicate through notes, they decided to meet up again.

\- No. - She said, discreetly looking around.

It was raining outside and the place was very busy. It had been a hard task to secure that table until Rolf had arrived.

\- Why are you late? It almost ruined everything. - She whispered to him.  
\- I couldn't come straight here in case someone was following me so I kind of entered and left stores until I was sure no one was following me.  
\- Yeah, yeah. But listen, I haven't heard from Miles. I sent him a letter in code, as I've told you I would do.

The code consisted in isolating the third letter of every fifth word. It would form new words and construct a short, hidden message. An alert.

\- I haven't heard from him yet, I think they're withholding the letter and analyzing it, looking exactly for any hidden messages or alerts. I'm actually scared this could backfire.

They were smiling to each other while they whispered. If there was someone watching them, they would think Caterine and Rolf were a couple.

But despite grinning at Rolf, Caterine had fear in her eyes.

\- Do you think we should wait a couple of days more to see if he's going to get the letter? I mean, we have to be _completely_ sure something is up before we act. We're separated from each other, we're in a strange land where we can't understand shit they're saying. It could be paranoia, we could just be paranoid.   
\- I don't think we are.  
\- I know. Still, I think we should wait just a tad more. We don't even know where Miles is staying, anyways. Which is something that's getting on my nerves because tracking people down is my job.  
\- You found me.  
\- Exactly.   
\- You wanna know what I think?   
\- Yeah?  
\- I don't think Miles is hidden. I think he's staying somewhere right under our noses... but in a place he doesn't have to come out, ever, because he has everything he needs already.  
\- It makes sense.  
\- Yeah. Because if he was hidden, like we are, he'd also need security but in his case it'd take a lot of men to guard him. It'd catch too much attention and it'd be too easy to track him down, so I think he's somewhere that already needs to be well secured on its own. We just need to narrow it down.   
\- A place who sells either booze or drugs... no, no. Forget about the booze, this is not America, there's no Prohibition here. Then it's drugs. Do you remember Miles mentioning something about what was it that man Lee does? Wasn't him the head of everything?  
\- I don't think he said anything about Lee's business, no. And we can't simply ask around because there are eyes on us.   
\- This is frustrating. We're on the brink of finding Miles but we keep on reaching dead ends all the time. There's always something in our way.   
\- Our time is running out, Rolf. I can feel it. I don't know what are their plans regarding Miles but I think they won't want to _keep_ us around for too long. - She stared into Rolf's eyes.  
\- What would be their interest in killing us?   
\- I'm not sure... I just can feel it coming.  
\- Cat— Caterine. - Rolf corrected himself. - There was this point, on our trip to Japan, that Miles wanted to tell you to go back home. It's not that he didn't think you're not capable of dealing with the tasks you've been assigned to, otherwise he wouldn't have convened you, but he was scared something could happen to you. Something just like what happened to his first wife.  
\- Yes, I've noticed he seemed a bit uptight in my presence.  
\- Considering both of us are almost sure something is wrong, it's my duty to take care of you, now. And that is _only_ because if something happens to you too, Miles might lose his mind and then he might end up dead and I might end up dead just as well.   
\- How do you plan to _"_ take care of me", then?  
\- Let's coordinate our every move. The only way I can protect you is if I'm with you when we decide it's time to take action.   
\- Is that it?  
\- Yes. What were you expecting?  
\- I don't know, actually. Is just that I can't predict the things you'll say. One time you're making jokes about your nipples and coming up with stupid ideas and the next time you're all serious and coming up with solid ideas so I never know what to expect from you.  
\- That's...  
\- A good thing.  
\- Right.   
\- I agree with you. Let's coordinate everything. Let's be a team, let's either help or save Miles, finish this off and go back home to eat something that's not rice. - Caterine said and Rolf scoffed.

They exchanged a tiny smile.

\- We can do it. - Rolf squeezed Caterine's hand, on the table.   
\- You're gonna get my help, of course we can do it.

Rolf rolled his eyes playfully.

Caterine's hand was cold.

\- Can I ask you something? - He asked her.   
\- Sure.  
\- Try not to think about it too much. I can feel you tensing up just by _looking_ at you.   
\- It's kind of... Alright, I'll try.   
\- Great.   
\- I'll be leaving, now. Wait for another one of my notes, hopefully it won't take that long to get to you.   
\- A'ight.

Caterine got up to leave, she kissed Rolf's cheek on her way out and he followed her with her eyes until she'd become just another hat amongst so many others.

——————————————————————

\- I already know I lost the bet. - Hanae told Miles while he eyed her from the other end of the hallway.

 _\- You can come in, Mr. Kane. -_ A voice told Miles.

Hanae knew that voice belonged to one of the girls who _worked_ with her.

\- _Thank you._

Miles walked into Lee's office for the second time since he'd arrived in Japan.

\- _Hello, my friend! Please, sit down. Want something to drink?_  
 _\- No, thank you. -_ Miles replied, trying to leave Lee under the impression he was completely relaxed and content.   
\- _How can I help you, then?_  
 _\- Well, I haven't heard of my friends since I've arrived. I'd like to get in touch with them._  
 _\- Is that it?_  
 _\- For now._  
 _\- That can be easily arranged. I'll talk_ _to the staff that's taking care of them so they can arrange a direct line to you._  
 _\- A'ight. Thank you very much._  
 _\- No problem at all._  
 _\- Great. I'll be leaving now._

Lee just nodded.

Miles left Lee's office with a single thought on his mind.

_This was too easy._

And then he wandered off until he was in the garden, standing under the enormous sakura tree Hanae had told him it had been struck by lightning, twice.

By no means that made him feel like he was inside of one of his nightmares with Lil in her wedding dress.

He sighed with relief.

\- I think we're on good terms, again. - Miles whispered to himself, remembering the moment when he woke up on Hanae's bed, expecting to have his arms wrapped around Lil, two weeks ago.

He thought he had dreamt of her but in a sweet, comforting way. Not in a way she'd haunt him and try to drag him down to Hell.

Miles touched the tree where it looked like a scar, where he thought it was the spot the lightning had compromised the tree the most.

\- If you could be uprooted and transplanted, where d'you choose to go? - He whispered to the tree.

Of course he didn't wait for a reply.

Miles realized everything was too quiet, now. He looked at his pocket watch and realized it was almost time for the doors of the den to close. He looked back at the asphalted driveway that curved, like a snake, around to the entrance of the mansion.

He thought if he should walk back to the hotel we was staying or stay and try to find Hanae, have her company for the night.

——————————————————————

\- Hi! - Suki greeted Astro when he ran towards her and sat by her side. She petted the dog's head.

Austin had just left for school and Suki was making her way back home.

She heard a whistle and Astro went running towards the sound, disappearing into the woods.

Suki chuckled a bit.

\- IT WAS MY FAULT! - She yelled.  
\- _I FIGURED SOMETHING WAS OFF._ Thomas yelled back to her.

Suki started to laugh lightly.

She stood on the same place until she could hear steps and then Thomas came out of the woods.

\- Hi! How are you doing, today? - Thomas asked while Astro ran towards Suki again.   
\- I'm much better, thank you. How are you?   
\- I'm fine. Everything is fine.   
\- Glad to hear that. - Suki smiled a bit at him.  
\- How's Austin doing?   
\- Oh, he's good. Excited about Tiny's training to start. Doesn't speak of anything else.

It was Thomas' time to laugh a bit.

\- Glad to know he doesn't think I gave up on our plan. I mean, it's been a while since the dinner and never went back to visit. I'm sorry, it's just that some things happened and I didn't have the time to go on my usual walks in the morning.  
\- Oh, no. It's alright. Really. But I'm glad we ran into each other. I mean, Astro and I ran into each other.

Both Suki and Thomas laughed.

\- Yes. Me too, it was nice to see you again.  
\- I can say the same.

Silence took over.

\- How did the portrait of that girl turned out? - Suki broke the silence.  
\- Oh, great. Her parents loved it... she didn't seem too excited about it but I wouldn't be either, I mean, I'd want to get something I could use or read or play with on my birthday, not to pose for hours and hours in front of a boring guy so he could paint a portrait of me. I get her...  
\- Teenagers. - Suki shrugged.  
\- Yeah.  
\- Are you busy today? I mean, I wish you could come back with me to my place so I can show you some other paintings of mine and introduce you to the other dogs, as well.  
\- It sounds lovely but I'll have to turn it down, I'm sorry.   
\- Oh... - Thomas raised his brows, looking like he had just realized something. - I didn't mean it like more than what it is I just—  
\- No, it's not that. - Suki said and blushed a bit. - It's just that I went to the bloody doctor and he told me to rest as much as I could. He suspected I was about to develop a full case of pneumonia or something worse but I was lacking a few symptoms so he prescribed an elixir and told me to rest. I haven't been leaving the house unless it's to get Austin into the school bus in the morning. I even hired a maid to help out with the house and everything.  
\- Oh, I'm... sorry and also relieved to hear that's nothing too serious. Well, I shouldn't be taking up much of your time, anymore, then.  
\- I can't come with you but if you're not busy, why don't you come with me?   
\- Are you sure it's not gonna disturb your resting?  
\- Of course it won't. I can ask Isla to bring us some coffee and we can sit down on the living room to talk. It's gonna be good to have someone else to talk to. I mean, Isla doesn't talk that much and there are certain matters I cannot talk about with Austin so...   
\- I get it.  
\- So, you're coming?   
\- Yeah, sure. Let's go.

Suki smiled.

——————————————————————

\- _Another one, please._

Miles was drinking idly, sitting by the bar, almost as if that was an automatic process like breathing.

His back was turned to the salon where all sorts of things were happening. There was music, there was laughter, there was the clacking of the glasses, there was snorting and there was also a fight.

But that didn't last that long.

\- _A double martini, please. Upstairs orders_. - A guy told the barman.   
\- _Hanae's room? -_ Miles asked the man.   
\- _Why do you care? -_ He asked Miles.  
\- _Let's just say I'm her guest of honor. -_ Miles smiled cynically.  
\- _You must be Mr. Kane. I'm sorry._  
 _\- That's me, yes. -_ Miles said as the barman put the glass on the bar and pushed it into the little man's direction. - _I'll take the drink to her, let's just say we have unfinished businesses._

Before the little man could say anything, Miles grabbed the glass and started to make his way through the crowd, trying to get to Hanae's room.

He knocked on her bedroom door.

\- _Come in, Koko!_  
 _-_ Are you mad at me? - Miles asked, when he spotted Hanae sitting in front of the mirror of her boudoir. She was combing her hair with a hairbrush made of pure silver.  
\- I wasn't expecting to see you tonight.   
\- It was you who left me alone here, last time. - He said, handing the glass to her.  
\- I didn't want to sleep so I decided to go to the bar and have some drinks. Party a little.  
\- I didn't see you when I left, either.   
\- I was downstairs, probably. - She sipped on her drink. - And you didn't come back after that night so I figured you had grown tired of me.   
\- It's not that. It's just that I think I had a dream and it kind of... left me...   
\- I know you had a dream and I know what it was about. - Hanae said, finally turning around to face Miles instead of just looking at his reflection into the mirror.

Miles just furrowed his brows at her.

\- You called me by her name. Asked _her_ to come back to bed. At first I thought you had mistaken me by one of the other girls. - She continued to speak as Miles closed his eyes and sighed. - But then I realized I don't know anyone that goes by that name and I remembered your story so I figured maybe it was about someone you'd lost. I decided to just leave you be.   
\- I'm sorry. I didn't me—  
\- Don't worry about it. It's perfectly fine for me. I just thought you wouldn't come back anymore because I'd done something that reminded you of her and then...  
\- No. It's just... - Miles walked towards the window. - Since she and I met, Lil's been with me in every dangerous situation. You know I didn't come to Japan to have fun, it's not like I'm on a holiday or something. I came to face my most dangerous enemy to date and I might die while I do so. Maybe that's why I dreamt of her. She'd always been the one to comfort me, to share the burdens with me.   
\- I understand.   
\- So yeah, it was nothing to do with _you._  
\- Then why didn't you come back?  
\- I didn't feel like going out of the hotel. It's really annoying, actually, those guys following me everywhere.  
\- They're just there to protect you.   
\- I know. But I don't like it.   
\- It's not gonna be for much longer, I'm sure.  
\- I hope not. But yeah, let's change the subject.  
\- Fine. Why are you here tonight?  
\- I missed your company.  
\- And what do you want to do? - Hanae asked Miles.   
\- Whatever you want me to. You said yourself: you lost the bet but, I'm willing to do whatever you want me to, tonight.  
\- Then I know exactly what I want us to do.

Hanae walked towards Miles and grabbed her kimono, thrown over the loveseat next to him, and put it on. She tied her hair up and grabbed Miles' hand.

They sneaked out the back door, to the garden.

\- You said you hate those guys chasing you and I also cannot come here at night if I'm not escorted by guards so I thought of giving us a bit of freedom, tonight. - She spoke as she guided Miles into the grass maze in the center of the garden.   
\- Aren't we gonna get lost? - Miles asked her.  
\- No, don't worry. I can find the way back.

Miles and Hanae kept walking until they've reached the centre of the maze where there was an iron table and two chairs.

\- Maybe we should have brought a bottle of something. - He told her.   
\- No need to bring anything. - She said, searching for something in the walls of the maze. - Here! - She pulled out a bottle of wine. - And there's several more hidden in this area.  
\- Do you come here often?  
\- Used to. Until I became the prize of the house and needed to have those guys after me all the time.  
\- I see... But how did you end up here, in the first place? - Miles asked, sitting on the other chair in front of Hanae.  
\- I was born in a village in Hiroshima, to a wealthy family. My dad is a famous writer and my mom was a geisha. I've had the best education, the best clothes, the best food, the best futon to sleep in. And then I started to grow up and my dad didn't like the attention some people were paying to me. When I was about fifteen or so, I fell in love with our neighbor and we kind of became a thing... my father found out and promised me to another man, arranged me a marriage. I ran away to Kyoto and cutting the story short, I ended up here.  
\- And why did you stay here? I mean...  
\- I like what I do. I really like it. I can turn down any man, I can do it whenever and however I please. And in fact, I _don't have to do_ anything, I'm not forced to. I just do it because I want to and since I'm so privileged in this house, it attracts lots of men trying their luck to try and sleep with me.   
\- Lee told you to "take care of me", what about that?  
\- Because I'd seen a picture of you and I decided I'd take care of you. Do the honors.  
\- A picture of me...  
\- Yeah, they had to send a picture of you to the people who were going to escort you from the ship to the first hotel and then from there to here.  
\- I see.   
\- Yeah. - She passed the bottle of wine to Miles, again.  
\- And so you left and that was it? You never saw your parents again?   
\- I saw my mother twice, after that. She tried to convince me to come back and was very disappointed to know what was my job. I laughed at her face... she had been training me to be a geisha for the majority of my life and what does a geisha do? They please men! Not with sex but still... And I didn't sleep with anyone until I had come of age, Lee took care of that. The very last time I saw my mother, I was eighteen and it had been the next day since I had slept with a man for the first time. I told her I wasn't gonna come back with her because everybody already knew about my fate, back at the village, so there was no way I could get a decent job or go back to being a geisha and my father had cut me off from his will. At that point I had no choice but to stay here.  
\- I understand. It was my father who initiated me into this crime thing, so... Parents can be really complicated. I try to be to my son the best father I can be but I've been failing him big time. He and his mother had to run away because of me and God knows where they're now... if they're alright. I write him a letter almost every night.  
\- But how do you send it? I mean, if you don't know where they are.  
\- I 'ave my ways.  
\- Mhmm...  
\- What do you plan to do next? I mean, do you have a plan B? In case Lee dies or...  
\- I have some money I've been saving for a while, now. I don't need to buy anything so I save all the money I get. The men pay well so I have a great amount of money sitting on a bank in case something like that ever happens.  
\- 'ave you ever thought of leaving here? Marrying someone, starting a family?   
\- I thought about it but then I found out I can't get pregnant so I abandoned that idea altogether.   
\- I'm sorry...  
\- Don't be. I don't like kids, anyway. I would be a terrible mother. I mean, I can stay around kids but only when they're fine. When they start to sob, yell and repeat the same question over and over and over I just want to put them inside a box and send them to China.

Miles laughed.

\- I love children. - He told her.  
\- If we ever had a kid, you'd be the only responsible for it. - Hanae scoffed.   
\- What a miserable life this kid would live. I mean, a criminal for a father and a mother who doesn't like them.   
\- Right? Thank God that when I was built, they didn't give me the ability to reproduce. It was a plan all along.   
\- Whose plan? - Miles asked, playfully.  
\- Whomever rules the universe's.

Miles and Hanae kept on talking and drinking for hours and hours on end. It almost felt like that was their M.O.

\- Maybe it's time for us to head back. - Hanae told Miles while she watched him drink the last sips of their third shared bottle of wine.  
\- You're right. I need to sleep this off before returning home, tomorrow morning. Better still; this morning since it's way past midnight. - He said, checking the time on his pocket watch.  
\- I need to catch some sleep, too. All this talk about my life has left me tired.

Hanae and Miles made their way out of the maze and then sneaked back into the house and went up to her bedroom, once again.

Both took only their shoes off before laying down on the bed, facing each other.

\- I must confess I'm gonna miss you when you leave. - Hanae whispered to Miles, kissing his right cheek, near his mouth.

He pulled her closer and she fell asleep on his chest.

——————————————————————

\- Alexa!? - Suki's jaw had dropped a bit when she went to answer the door of her home, a certain afternoon, and found out it was Alexa who had been knocking.   
\- Oh my God, you're fine. - She said, pulling Suki into a hug.   
\- What's going on? - She asked. Frozen in her place, she didn't even hug Alexa back.

Alexa let go of her and looked around before pushing Suki back into the house and walking in too, closing the door behind them.

\- Where's Aiden?   
\- Where's Austin?   
\- He's at school. Why?   
\- I came to warn you I—  
\- Come with me, I have a maid in the house. Let's go to my room.

After having closed the door and windows of her bedroom, Suki asked Alexa to sit down and explain what was going on.

\- Somebody tried to kidnap Aiden on his way back home from practice.   
\- What!? - Suki felt her knees going weak.  
\- Yes! I don't know if it was really an accident or if someone did it to try to send me a message. I don't know, all I know is that someone pulled up next to him with a car identical to mine. He didn't quite pay attention and got into it and it wasn't until they'd drove away that he realized the mistake and started to ask the driver to stop.   
\- And they just stopped?  
\- Aiden said that the woman looked at him, as if she was taking mental notes of his face, before parking the car and letting him go. He ran away home and told me everything. I thought of you and how I had to warn you but I just couldn't write you, if there's someone really keeping track on me, they'd intercept my letter to you and find out your address.  
\- Where's Aiden, now?   
\- Hidden. I left him hidden and came here to tell you this and now he and I are off to someplace else. I haven't decided where, yet.   
\- Oh my God, this is terrible. I need to get to Austin right now!   
\- Listen, listen! - Alexa said, holding Suki by the sides of both her arms. - Don't panic. Not now. I don't know what happened back in Alaska but I'd advise you'd grab Austin and hide, too.   
\- Why is this happening again? Why? - Suki looked at Alexa with her eyes full of questions and pain.   
\- I don't know. But it's only us for our children, now. We have to try everything until our last resort. Any news about Miles?   
\- No, he's still missing.   
\- If there's no body then he's still alive. And if he's not here then he must be facing something very difficult. Don't lose your trust on him.   
\- I will never.   
\- Great. I believe in Miles, Alex believed in Miles and if Alex believed in him, then he has all of my faith. He's gonna solve everything. Until then, let's do our best and keep ourselves and our babies safe.   
\- Yes, yes. I know. It's what I've been doing.   
\- I know, you're a wonderful mother, Suki. - Alexa said, hugging Suki, who started to cry.  
\- I don't think I am but I'm trying. - She sniffed.   
\- It's gonna be alright. - Alexa told Suki. - Now I have to go and I won't be contacting you for a while but if anything happens to me, I'll tell Aiden to run here. If you're still here, I mean.   
\- Nothing is gonna happen to you.   
\- I hope not. I have to leave, now. Gotta catch the train that leaves in an hour. Give Austin a kiss for me.  
\- Tell Aiden I miss him terribly.

Alexa nodded at Suki.

They hugged again and Suki escorted Alexa to the back door of her home. Watched until she'd disappeared into the woods.

\- Isla? - Suki called.   
\- Yes, mam.   
\- I'm going out. Gonna pick up Austin from school.

She was feeling a bit dizzy because of that meeting with Alexa. It had happened so fast that for about half an hour she kept in doubt if that had really happened.

The maid seemed surprised.

\- Don't you want me to go? I mean, the doctor sa—  
\- No, thank you. I'll be back in a few so don't worry, I'll phone here in case I need anything.  
\- Yes, mam.

Suki left her home in a hurry and started to make her way to Thomas' house.

She banged on his door.

\- Hi! - She smiled nervously at him.  
\- Oh, hi! Come on in!   
\- Actually, I wanted to ask you a favour. It's kinda urgent.  
\- Yeah, of course. How can I help.  
\- Can you go pick up Austin from school with me?   
\- S-sure. Let me just grab the car keys.  
\- Thank you so much.

The whole ride to Austin school felt like a torture. Suki was holding herself back in order not to bite her nails.

\- Are you alright? - Thomas asked, looking at her from the corner of his eye.   
\- Yes! I'm fine, I'm perfectly fine. Just drive, please.

Suki got off the car as soon as it'd stopped. She didn't even wait for Thomas to park properly.

She walked to the main gate of the school and waited for her son to come out, her agony only growing bigger and bigger as she watched kids coming out in hoards but Austin would never show up.

\- Austin! - She yelled when she saw him.

They walked towards each other and Suki got on her knees, hugging her son and almost crying.

\- Mom, you're embarrassing me. - He said, looking around.  
\- Thank God you're fine. - She ignored his comment, cupping his cheek. Running her fingers through his hair. - Come, Thomas is gonna give us a ride home.  
\- Mr. Horowitz? Why?  
\- We can talk about it before bedtime, alright?  
\- Is this one of those situations I just gotta trust you?  
\- Exactly.  
\- Alright.

Suki let go of Austin's hand as they approached Thomas' car. She seemed a bit more relieved.

\- Hi, Mr. Horowitz!  
\- Hello, Austin! Did you have a good day at school?  
\- Yes. It was ok. More of the same, actually. - He replied, getting into the backseat of the car.  
\- Sometimes school can be a bit boring, yeah. But don't worry, maybe something cool will come up soon. - Thomas said, starting the car once everyone was in it.  
\- They said they want us to participate in the choir for _Canada Day,_ but that's not happening for a month, still.   
\- Well, at least it's something new and fun you could do, don't you think?  
\- I'll think about it. I'm not really fond of singing, I like playing the piano, more. Even though dad never let me touch Lil's piano.

Suki looked at Austin through the rearview mirror but he was looking out the window and didn't see her pleading eyes, telling him to stop talking.

\- Oh, really? That is a bummer. But did you have piano lessons at your old school?   
\- Yes, I did. And it was really fun and my cousin would take lessons with me, too. Even though he didn't like it that much, he'd still do it so we could have something to do together.   
\- He sounds like a cool kid, this cousin of yours.   
\- He is. I miss him very much.  
\- Austin, you didn't ask Thomas about his dogs. And you forgot to give him updates on Tiny, just as well. - Suki tried to change the subject.  
\- That's true. How's Tiny doing, Austin? - Thomas asked Austin, playing along with Suki.

——————————————————————

**5 days later, Lee's den.**

\- _Here is the telephone. It's a direct line to the Hotel your friend is staying._  
 _\- Which one of them?_  
 _\- Your male friend, I don't remember his name._  
 _\- Yeah, alright. What about my other friend?_  
 _\- I couldn't get a direct line to her yet but I'm working on it. You have three minutes. It's a direct line but it's advised you don't disclose your location. When it's time, they'll be brought here so there's no need for them to know you're here._

Miles found that odd but agreed.

He picked up the phone when it rang.

\- Rolf!  
\- _Hey, cousin. How are you? Is everything alright?_  
 _-_ Yes, everything is fine at this end. How are you? Have you got any news about Caterine? - Miles had a million questions to ask.

Rolf clicked his tongue.

Twice.

\- Haven't heard of her, no. I was hoping you had heard of her.   
\- No, I... I haven't... I

Miles' mind was spinning fast.

Clicking your tongue twice indicated something was wrong and since Rolf had said he hadn't heard of Caterine, maybe she was in trouble?

\- I'm glad we got to chat. I hope we meet soon. And they're arranging a direct line for me to talk to Caterine, too, so when I hear of her I'll let you know. - Miles quit stuttering and started to try to sound confident.  
\- _Alright, Miles. I'm glad you're fine, I was quite worried about you for a while, given everything that happened lately._

Rolf clicked his tongue, again.

\- What happened? - Miles asked.  
\- _Oh, I figured they'd told you? But yeah, ask Lee._

On this very moment, Lee got back into the room and told Miles his time was over.

\- Gotta go, Rolf. 'Till next time.   
\- _Hope there's that._

Miles put the phone down _._

 _\- Have you got any news for me?_ \- Miles asked Lee.  
\- _Such as?_  
 _\- I don't know. Nothing new happened?_  
 _\- Well, a few things happened but I asked Hanae to keep you informed._  
 _\- Hanae?_  
 _\- Yes. Since you're always with her and I've been away for a few days._  
 _\- You've been away? Why didn't you tell me?_  
 _\- Because that's nothing to do with your business._  
 _\- Alright. I understand. -_ Miles said, clenching his jaw. - _I'm gonna look for Hanae. Excuse me._

Miles started to make his way up to Hanae's bedroom. He knocked on her door but didn't wait for an answer before entering the space.

\- _Hanae?_

No answer.

_She might be downstairs, given the hour._

Miles hurried off downstairs and started to look for Hanae, knocking and opening every door of the longest hallway he had ever walked down.

\- Hanae? - He asked, knocking on a door almost at the middle of the hallway.  
\- _Yes_?

He got into the bedroom.

Hanae was laying down on the bed, her kimono sprawled around her, making it look like she had wings. Her matching nightgown also made of silk.

\- Have you got anything to tell me?   
\- Huh? - She asked, looking at him.   
\- Something really important... something Lee asked you to let me know?   
\- I... - She hesitated, changing her position on the bed. She was sitting on her knees, now.   
\- Just tell me! - Miles walked towards her, touching her knees.  
\- Kazuya's left Paris and no one knows where he went to. - She spit, looking at his face.  
\- What? When did that happen?  
\- Three or four weeks ago...  
\- Why didn't you tell me!? Hanae, my friends could be in danger, my family could be in danger! Why were you hiding it from me?  
\- So you wouldn't leave! - She yelled, interrupting his endless questioning. - I knew you would leave if I told you anything and so a moment like the one we shared last week wouldn't have happened.  
\- So _you_ is the only one you think about!? You don't care if there's people's lives at steak, right? All you care about is yourself!   
\- I've been alone for too long, already. I thought I could postpone it for a few days.  
\- Days turned weeks!

At that moment, both Miles and Hanae started to hear noises like stampedes, upstairs.

\- What's happening? - Miles asked Hanae.  
\- I don't know. - She said, looking at him and then at the chandelier, that had started to move.

Someone yelled where it seemed to be the floor just above Hanae and Miles' bedroom.

\- Something is wrong. - She looked at Miles with big eyes.

Miles locked the door of the bedroom and asked Hanae to help him move the bed towards the door, to block it.

\- Have you got a gun around here? - He asked her.  
\- No. - She answered. Her brows a bit furrowed.  
\- A knife, then?   
\- I've got a letter opener. - She said, pointing at a small table by the back of the room.  
\- That will do.

Miles grabbed Hanae by her hand and then grabbed the letter opener on their way to the bathroom.

He locked the door.

\- We're stranded here. - He whispered to her as the lights went out and they found themselves in a pitch black room. - I don't know when we'll be able to come out or if we'll be ever coming out there at all and for that I'm sorry. Just please, don't make any loud noises and if something happens to me, run if you've got the chance.   
\- I've been lonely for too long. - She repeated, touching his arm. Indicating she wouldn't run if she got the chance.  
\- Let's just hope nothing serious is going on up there. - Miles told her as she wrapped her arms around him and hid her face on his shoulder. He couldn't help but to hug her back.

He was _scared_ she could hear how loud his heart was beating.

Loud as thunder.


	18. Pill

\- Hello, Cat. - Rolf greeted Caterine at the same time she stroked his cheek.   
\- Don't fucking call me that. - She told him through her teeth, while she pretended to be smiling.

They sat down at their usual table at the small shop near Caterine's hotel.

\- Have you got any news? - She asked him.  
\- I seem to, dear Cat. - He continued to speak as she held back from rolling her eyes at him. - But we'll have to go somewhere more private than here.  
\- I can see what you're trying to do. Not gonna happen. I thought you were being serious about helping Mi—  
\- If you look up "serious" on the dictionary, you'll see a picture of me placed under the word. - He said, looking into her eyes.

She looked surprised for a minute.

\- So, we're gonna go to your room or...   
\- Yes. We're gonna leave very quietly, looking as peaceful as possible. - She said, snapping out of her thoughts.   
\- A'ight.

Rolf and Cat got up from the table and walked towards the reception desk of the restaurant, paid for Caterine's tea and then left.

Hand in hand.

They made their way through the main hall of the hotel and entered Caterine's bedroom as calmly as they could. By then Caterine was sure some eyes had been following them.

\- So— Rolf started but was interrupted by Caterine. She had her index finger over her lips and her ear glued to the bedroom door.

Rolf sat on the floor and stayed quiet.

\- Alright, it's clear. - She said, approaching Rolf, sitting by his side.  
\- I finally found a map to our locations. - He said, taking a map from a secret pocket inside his coat. - Look.

He unfolded the map and sprawled it on the floor.

\- This is your hotel. - He pointed. - And this is where I'm staying, so... - He also took a pen out of his pocket and then drew something on the map.  
\- A triangle. - Caterine remarked.  
\- Yes. Remember Miles sai—  
\- That each one of us would be at one end of a triangle.   
\- Exactly. So if you're here and I'm here, Miles could only be here.   
\- How are we gonna get there? - Caterine eagerly asked.  
\- We won't. For now.   
\- Why?   
\- Because we don't know exactly what building Miles is staying so we cannot go to this area aimlessly asking around if someone saw a man matching Miles' description. - Rolf told Caterine, who sighed.  
\- Yes, you're absolutely right. And I know that, I mean... It's my job. Maybe I'm just too worried about Miles and not thinking straight.   
\- I wouldn't be too worried about him. I talked to him on the phone just yesterday, he's fine.  
\- A lot of things can happen in twenty-four hours.   
\- What do you mean by that? - Rolf asked, trying to look at Caterine, who had her face turned the other way.  
\- What I mean is that I gave him a _way out._ \- She said, getting up and walking towards her luggage.  
\- I don't...

She went back to sit by him.

Only now she had several tiny bottles in her hands.

\- What are these? - Rolf asked her, in a whisper.  
\- Pills. For when you need to die. - She replied, swallowing hard.  
\- What?  
\- Say you know you're walking into danger. - She started talking, placing all the bottles on the floor but one. - You put this under your tongue and secure it there. If you know you're _not_ coming back home then you bite this pill and it will explode on your mouth, fill it with poison. You'll die before telling your enemies any secrets they want to know. I gave Miles a pill identical to this one.   
\- Why? Why would you do that? Miles is already under too much pressure!   
\- I figured he'd want to have a way out in case he got caught. - Caterine shrugged in an apologetic fashion.  
\- What about me, then?   
\- You got of the ship before us so I really didn't have the time. I actually wasn't gonna give Miles anything... but I changed my mind last minute.  
\- You should have told me about it!  
\- I didn't expect us to be separated for so long! I thought we would get here, spend a week apart and then start our get togethers. I didn't think...

Both fell silent.

\- All of these pills are filled with poison? - Rolf asked, at last.  
\- No. Only the ones which bottles have a black cap.   
\- What about the bottles with the white caps?   
\- Sleeping powder. Extremely strong. - She looked at Rolf's face. - You bite on that pill and it's gonna look like you're dead. It makes your heart rate decrease and also it's gonna look like you're not breathing, you'll barely have a pulse. It's gonna look like you're dead.  
\- When and why should I use it?  
\- Let's say you were in the middle of a shooting but you didn't get shot, yet you know they might check all corpses to see if everyone's really dead. You lie down next to an actual corpse, so you'll get a little blood on yourself, and then bite on the pill.   
\- What if they decide to set fire on the place after they killed everyone?  
\- It's a risk. - Caterine shrugged, again.  
\- Everything we do is a risk. - Rolf said, slipping one of the "white" bottles into his coat pocket. Caterine didn't see it. - Did you give Miles one of the sleeping ones, too?   
\- No. Only a poisonous one.  
\- A'ight. - Rolf said, taking a deep breath and then looking back at the map.   
\- I can't read anything on this. - Caterine said, trying to figure out the symbols on the map.  
\- Yet another reason why we shouldn't just go asking things around. We simply don't know how, to begin with.   
\- What if... - Caterine gasped and then looked at Rolf.   
\- What?  
\- That place you got the letter translated! We could go back there and ask them what's around here. They'd translate for us. - She looked at Rolf with excitement; finally they were getting close to figuring out where Miles was.   
\- "We" as in I. You're not going there with me until it's time we run away. - Rolf shook his head.  
\- But I—  
\- Please, Cat.

She didn't protest, this time.

\- Well, you... - She clicked her tongue while her eyes looked around the map. - You could just go there and ask if there's any museums or something of the sorts, around this spot, as not to raise any brows. - She pointed at the map. - Does Japan have a big monument like the Eiffel Tower or the Big Ben?  
\- I don't think so... No, wait! What's the name of that orange corridor Miles told us about? The one his wife kept telling him about.   
\- It's _Fu... Fushi..._ I don't—Oh, wait, I think I wrote it down!

Caterine and Rolf got up from the floor and walked towards the dresser in the room. She started to look for her notebook.

\- Here! It's called _Fushimi Inari Taisha. -_ She proudly said.  
\- A'ight, I'll have to write that down.   
\- Just take the page. - She said, ripping off the page and then folding the paper before giving it to Rolf. - Don't lose it.  
\- I won't.

They locked eyes for a moment.

\- I have to go, now. Gotta get this figured out as soon as possible.  
\- Yes, yes. And please, keep me informed anyway you can.   
\- I will. Don't worry, Cat. We're the closest to finding Miles than we've ever been since we've arrived. - He said, grabbing the map from the floor and giving it to Caterine. - Keep this, if something bad happens then you run away to meet me at my hotel.   
\- Yes, I'll do that but let's hope I won't have to do it.  
\- Yes, let's hope so. See, I knew they had a reason to keep us separated. - Rolf told Caterine, smiling a bit at her.   
\- I think so. - She smiled back.

Both Rolf and Caterine searched around her bedroom to see if Rolf hadn't forgotten any of his belongings and then she walked him to the door.

\- A kiss for _science fiction_? - He asked her.

Both could sense they were being observed.

\- Only in science fiction I'd be giving you a kiss, indeed. - She whispered back to him, even tho she gave him a light kiss. Just enough to convince their _voyeur_ that she and Rolf were lovers indeed.  
\- Now this is getting interesting. - He whispered before he left.

Cat stayed on her place for a moment before going back inside her room.

——————————————————————

Miles put his hand in the pocket of his jacket.

His teeth couldn't stop dancing.

_Do I give her the pill?_   
_Is it too soon? Is it too late?_   
_Will I have time to do it later if I postpone it?_

_No, not yet._

\- Are you alright? - He whispered into Hanae's ear.  
\- So far. - She said and paused. - It's been quiet for a while, do you think we should...  
\- I honestly don't know. There's no way of knowing if someone tried to open the door to this bedroom or if _there is anyone_ trying as we speak. Maybe we should give it another hour and then, depending on what happens, we'll leave.  
\- It's so hot in here, I feel like I might pass out any minute, now. It feels like someone blocked the ventilation system.- Hanae said, wiping her forehead with the back of her hand. - How long do you think we've been here?   
\- A couple of hours, I believe. Well, you could open the tap of the tub just a tiny bit and then get in it, I don't know. Just don't make too much noise. It seems they can't hear us as much as we can't hear them.

Miles himself was soaked in his own sweat.

\- No, I... I think I can survive another hour, I just have to think about something else. It's fine.  
\- I won't be able to carry you if you pass out. - Miles warned her.  
\- I most definitely won't.

If they weren't in complete darkness, Miles would be able to see Hanae putting on a brave face and strong pose.

\- If you say so.

Another hour of uncertainty passed and Miles was fighting himself about whether he should leave by now or stay some more and be even more sure Hanae wouldn't be at risk, outside.

He didn't want to be responsible for her death, too.

\- Hanae?  
\- Yes.  
\- Listen, we're gonna leave. It's been _really_ quiet for a while, now. If there was someone out there trying to get to me, they would have really tried by now. So it's time we really leave.   
\- Alright.  
\- You stay behind me at all times, d'you hear me?  
\- Yes.  
\- And I'm still mad at you, but we're gonna talk about that later.  
\- I'm... ok, fine.

Miles unlocked the bathroom door and opened it very slowly. The luff that hit him in his face made him want to moan from relief.

The room had remained undisturbed.

\- Are you alright? - He asked again, now looking at Hanae. It was still dark but now he could see at least her silhouette.   
\- Much better, now. - She nodded at him.

Miles and Hanae pushed the bed they had thought of blocking the door with out of the way and then Miles took a deep breath before opening the door to the hallway. The letter opener under a tight grip in his right hand.

\- It's empty. - He told Hanae, who put both hands in his waist as both left the room where they had been stranded for six hours thinking only three had passed.

Each door to the hallway they passed by made Miles' heart race a bit. There were several doors open and if you looked inside them you wouldn't be able to see anything since a power outage was taking place.

That meant someone could leave one of those rooms as Miles and Hanae walked by and kill both of them.

\- Let's hurry up. - Miles whispered and felt Hanae tightening her grip on his waist.

Both made their way upstairs.

And then Hanae wished she didn't have.

\- NO! - Hanae screamed when Miles opened the door to the salon and she acknowledged, fully, what had happened upstairs. - NO!

She was trembling.

\- Hanae, please look at me. Breathe. - Miles made her turn her face to him and held both her wrists together, trying to contain her, as she cried desperately.

Miles himself was a bit distressed.

\- Why? - She asked him, in a whimper.  
\- I don't know, darling. - Miles replied, now hugging Hanae as she cried on his chest.

The letter opener fell on the ground, not mattering anymore.

Surrounding Miles and Hanae were the bodies of dozens of people. Including all the girls who worked with Hanae.

Or at least used to.

 _What happened here?_ Miles wondered.

Somebody started coughing.

Hanae started to look around frantically until she found the source of that sound.

\- _Masako! -_ Hanae ran towards her friend. Somehow, the girl looked even younger than Hanae herself. - _Oh, no. You're gonna be fine, I'll take y—_  
 _\- It's fine, dear. -_ Masako said, spitting out a little bit of blood. She coughed again.

Masako had an enormous piece of wood piercing the right side of her belly, coming from her back as if she had fell on it and it had passed through to the other side. It didn't matter what Hanae thought of doing to help; it wasn't gonna work.

\- _I'm not gonna make it, anyway. -_ Masako shook her head, slightly. - _Don't know why's taking so long for me to go._  
 _\- We're gonna take care of you, it's gonna be fine, we—_

Hanae's tears couldn't stop falling.

\- _Stop being so optimistic, it's always annoyed me, you know. -_ Masako joked with a tiny smile.  
\- _What happened? -_ Miles asked, crouching near Masako.   
\- _Some men started a fight and then started shooting each other. We thought the situation could be controlled but it was actually a coup. They killed us all, they took Lee._  
 _\- They took Lee!? -_ Miles asked, surprised. - _But I think he had said this place was completely safe and if I felt threatened I should come here for protection._  
 _\- He didn't lie. I think those men were planning to do this for a long time, now. It wasn't something you'd do without lots of thinking. Lots of planning._

 _I wonder if there's something to do with me. It doesn't feel like it, but still..._ Miles kept his thoughts to himself.

 _\- I even think those were Lee's own men. I think I recognized one or two of them. I'm almost sure. -_ Masako said, looking at Hanae. - _And if so, they're gonna come back to retrieve whatever it is that's left. You can't stay here._  
 _\- I'm not leaving you. -_ Hanae shook her head.   
_\- But I am leaving you. Really soon, now._  
 _\- I'm sorry, Masako. I should be here for you, I promised you that._  
 _\- You can't be in two places at once. And that's why you have to go, before someone shows up._  
 _\- I can't. I can't leave you._  
 _\- Hanae, she is right. -_ Miles touched Hanae' shoulder in a comforting manner.

He was avoiding to look around for there were too many bodies laying on the floor of the salon. All those girls dead...

\- _We 'ave to go. -_ He reinforced.

Masako just looked at Hanae and nodded.

She was beyond pale and if it wasn't for the stain of blood on her lips, Miles would probably have mistaken her for one of the china dolls Breana used to have on the shelves of Amelia's room, after the baby girl was born.

Only that Masako would be a human sized china doll.

\- _If you move me it's just gonna be worse, it's gonna hurt too much. It's not hurting, now. -_ Masako continued. - _If it puts you at ease then just... -_ Masako's eyes diverted from Miles' - _Give me that man's gun. -_ She barely pointed. - _I'll defend myself in case someone shows up._

Miles swallowed hard, he knew that wasn't Masako's plan.

\- _I'll take care of that. -_ Miles told Hanae, whose tears still hadn't dried. - _Do us a favor and go change your clothes, we have to get out of here and you can't walk around naked under a kimono._  
 _\- He's right. -_ Masako nodded at her friend.

Hanae gave Masako a kiss on her forehead and whispered yet another apology before running upstairs to her room to change her clothes.

Miles walked towards the body of a dead man and grabbed his gun, then he approached Masako, again.

\- _I'm not giving you this gun. I know what you're planning to do._  
 _\- I'm in misery. It feels like not Heaven nor Hell want me so I'm still here, on the verge of dying but never doing so._  
 _\- I've felt something like that, before. But I can help you. -_ Miles said, showing Masako the little bottle in his hand.   
\- _What's is that?_  
 _\- Heaven and Hell making a decision._

Masako nodded at Miles.

He took the pill out of the bottle and asked Masako to open her mouth. Placed the pill on her tongue.

_\- I'm sorry this is the only way I can help._   
_\- It's fine. Thank you._   
_\- Bite on it whenever yo—_

But Masako already had bitten the pill.

Miles watched as her eyes lost focus on him and started staring into the secrets of death.

Glued to it as two glass balls.

Miles sighed heavily and put the gun on Masako's hand, as if her "last wish" was all that they had been discussing during Hanae's absence.

And then he could hear Hanae's footsteps approaching him. She was running.

\- _I brought a blanket for you, Masako._  
 _-_ She's gone. - Miles said and looked at Hanae in an apologetic way.  
\- But... she was... I just... I...  
\- It happened quick and she wasn't alone.

Hanae just looked at Miles for a second and gulped, trying to hold back her impulse of crying out loud, again.

\- Let's go. - Miles told Hanae, grabbing the blanket from her hand and wrapping it around her, guiding her outside. - It's gonna be fine.

Both dodged several bodies on the floor, on their way out into the cold, lonely, dangerous night of Kyoto.

——————————————————————

\- I had a teacher just like that, too.   
\- Did you?  
\- Yeah.

Thomas nodded and looked at Austin through the rearview mirror.

About 100 feet in front of them there was a police car parked by the road. The police officer signaled for Thomas to pull over.

\- Don't stop the car, please. - Suki whispered to Thomas.  
\- But I have to! - Thomas replied, surprised. - It's the police.  
\- I can't explain now, just...

But it was too late.

Thomas was already speeding down.

\- Good afternoon.   
\- Good afternoon, officer. - Thomas replied, a little bit nervous for Suki was nervous.  
\- Your ID, please. And the car's license.  
\- Alright, just... - Thomas grabbed his wallet and started searching for what the officer had asked him. He dropped the wallet a couple of times.  
\- Everything alright? You seem a bit jumpy.   
\- No, I'm... We're alright. - He chuckled nervously. - It's just that we're in a bit of a hurry.   
\- Mhm...

The officer grabbed the documents Thomas handed him and walked towards the police car to check something.

\- What's wrong? - Thomas asked Suki, who hadn't even blinked the whole time the officer had been around Thomas' car.   
\- I can't explain right now. - She said, trying to keep her breathing pattern steady.   
\- You're not running away from the police, are you? - Thomas whispered, hoping Austin wouldn't hear that.

Suki looked back at Thomas.

_I don't know. Am I? Did they find out about the shallow grave?_

_-_ No. I'm not. - Suki shook her head.

The officer was walking back towards the car.

\- Mr. Horowitz, would you step out of the car for a moment?   
\- Something wrong? - Thomas frowned at the officer.  
\- I'll let you know if you follow me.   
\- Uh... alright. I...

Thomas got out of the car and followed the officer.

\- Austin? - Suki called, without taking her eyes off of Thomas, a few feet away from the car, talking to the office.  
\- Yes, mom?  
\- If I tell you to run, you run without looking back, alright?   
\- No! What's going on?

Suki lost her patience.

\- Aiden had almost been kidnapped and I have reasons to believe you're in danger, too. So when I tell you to run you fucking run!

Austin stayed silent.

Maybe it was the mention of his cousin or maybe it was the mention about a possible attempt of kidnapping, it's not clear, but that made Austin shut up and become alert to his mother's orders.

Said mother who was on the edge of her seat, waiting for something to go wrong.

But then Thomas just got back into the car and started it again, driving away.

\- It was just a broken light. He told me to fix it and then let me go.  
\- Thank God. - Suki sighed out of relief.

For the rest of the way back to Suki's house, the three occupants of that vehicle didn't exchange another word.

\- We're here. - Thomas said, parking the car on Suki's driveway.

Austin got off the car and walked away into his house.

\- What is going on? - Thomas asked Suki, again.

Both were just sitting in the car.

Distressed.

\- Thank you for the ride, I... just...  
\- Suki, please.   
\- I wish I could tell you but that would just put you in danger, too.  
\- Danger? Is this something to do with... I don't know, your husband or...  
\- Why are you so obsessed with Miles? - Suki asked, throwing her hands in the air.  
\- I don't even know who that is!  
\- Exactly. You know nothing about him so stop blaming him for what you don't even know.  
\- You come here, alone with your son, having trouble with a husband that you don't even know if is still your husband and sometimes you act like you hiding. You didn't want me to stop the car like the police officer told me to. I feel like I'm a pawn in some game you're playing.

Suki was slightly shaking her head.

She didn't know what to say.

\- I wouldn't mind helping you but you have to tell me what's going on.  
\- I... - She swallowed hard. - I can't tell you anything because I don't trust you. - She looked into Thomas' eyes as she spoke.

He looked hurt.

\- Alright. - He said, looking away from Suki and letting his eyes wander off.  
\- I'm sorry.

Suki got out of Thomas' car and every step away from the car and towards her house felt like a slap on her face.

She got into the house and locked the door behind her. She watched as Thomas drove away.

\- I'm sorry. - She whispered.

——————————————————————

Caterine woke up in the middle of the night with someone banging on her bedroom door.

\- _Cat! I'm sorry! Please, marry me! I love you! I'm sorry!_

She got off the bed in a hurry and went to answer the door.

\- Rolf, what the hell are you doing!?  
\- PLEASE, FORGIVE ME. I BEG YOU!  
\- Rolf, wha—

But Rolf put his hands on both Caterine's cheeks and kissed her, pushing her into her room.

He shut the door behind them.

\- WHAT—  
\- Shh! - He put his finger over Caterine's lips. - I think I've found Miles.  
\- _Mmph!_

Rolf slowly took his hand back from Caterine's lips.

She slapped him.

\- Alright. I deserve this. - He shrugged, massaging his face where Caterine had just hit him.   
\- What the fuck? - She whispered to him.   
\- It couldn't have waited until morning. Get that map, I need to show it to you.

Caterine went to grab the map as Rolf stayed close to the door, trying to tell if there was someone on the hallway outside.

\- Here.  
\- Alright. - He grabbed the map and put it over Caterine's bed. - This is the place he was staying.   
\- How can you be so sure?  
\- Because the place was attacked, yesterday. I was asking the woman who translated the letter for me, about this area, and she told me I was out of luck because _Lee's_ mansion had been attacked and everyone was dead and if I wanted to have fun, then I'd have to go somewhere else. Maybe the attack happened moments after I spoke to Miles on the phone. There are dozens of people dead but no mention of any foreigner so Miles managed to run away.   
\- If he ran away, then we lost him again. It's no use you're here.   
\- We're gonna have to leave and look for him. If he was here, - he pointed a spot on the map, again. - then he's running away to the opposite side so if we leave now maybe, just maybe, we could meet him halfway. Somewhere around here, I believe.   
\- That's a maybe, Rolf. The place has been attacked so clearly Miles was their target and if he's on the run, then there's people following him wherever he goes, eventually they're gonna surround him and...   
\- Not if we get to him, first.   
\- I guess.  
\- Have you got anything white to wear?   
\- Uh?   
\- We're gonna get married, apparently, so it'd be ideal if you left the room wearing a white something and then we could talk marriage until we're sure no one is following us anymore. That was the act a couple of minutes, just outside your bedroom door, anyway.  
\- I have that dress I wore on the ship but it has little blue flowers on it, I don't know if...   
\- Which one?  
\- The one with the little blue flowers, I just said it!   
\- Alright, I remember it. I think it'll do.   
\- And that implies that I'll have to leave all of my luggage behind, right?  
\- Yes. Just like I did. Just grab your documents and money and anything you might have written down and then we're leaving.

Caterine sighed.

\- I'm gonna change. 

——————————————————————

\- Where are we going? - Hanae asked Miles after they had roamed town. It was nearly morning, now.  
\- I don't know. - Miles admitted. - I wish I knew where my friends are but I've only talked to Rolf once and he didn't tell me anything about his location.  
\- I also don't know anything about that, I'm sorry. Do you think there's someone following us?  
\- I don't think so. I think your friend was right, that looked like an inner job. A group of individuals with lots of insights on Lee's businesses might have started a mutiny. The only question being: why?   
\- I can't stop thinking about Masako.   
\- There's nothing we could have done to help her. I'm sorry.   
\- I should be there, too. - Hanae looked at Miles. - When you came into the room I was just resting a bit so we could start the show, upstairs.   
\- The show...?  
\- Every two months we have... or used to have, dancing and singing night. Very fun, we got to play parts and everything. Now it's all... gone. - Hanae looked at Miles.

They had stopped and sat down on a bench by a lake.

\- I don't know what to do with my life, now. - Hanae added.   
\- You're gonna get that money you said you 'ave and you're gonna go away. Buy or rent a place and live a normal, happy life.  
\- I don't know how to live a normal life. Nothing about my life has ever been normal.   
\- It seems it's time you figure that out. You can't come with me to where I'm going.   
\- Why not?  
\- You're not coming. This is my mission and you're not part of it. Speaking of my mission, I'd taken care of a lot more stuff by now if you hadn't kept things from me.  
\- You'd have left me sooner. I'm not gonna lie, I grew used to you, Miles. The expectation whether you would come meet me at night or not. Every night I was just hoping for it. I started to feel less alone until I wasn't feeling alone, anymore.  
\- We could become friends if this was another place and time. If I wasn't on a mission. If I didn't 'ave a family in danger, waiting for me to come back. You 'ave to understand that everything I'm doing is not about _me._ It has never been. Kazuya could fuck off for all I care but he's preying on my family, I cannot let him get away with that! And that's why I've got no time to play friends with you.  
\- I'm sorry.

Both fell silent.

\- But I understand you. All my life I've been going through this phase where I 'ave to ask somebody _not_ to leave. It makes me feel like the sole purpose of my existence is begging people to stay, begging them not to abandon me. So there's a side of me that understands you. - Miles started to talk, looking at his feet. - I just can't let that side win over the side who knows I'm only here to complete extremely violent quests. And that other side is the side I need, right now. It's the side that's gonna keep me alive until I'm done.  
\- Alright. Where are you going now? Have you got any money, have you got a place to stay? Are you sure you won't wander off into the hands of the Yakuza? - Hanae fired those questions.

Miles was caught off guard.

\- If you want to stay alive, then take me with you. I can help you get to what you want. - Hanae continued.

No words came out of Miles' mouth for the next five minutes.

\- It's too risky. - He said, at last.  
\- I've got nothing to lose. - She told him. - They took Lee and I have a feeling they're not gonna return him back alive... or in one piece, even. I've lost my house, I've lost all my friends. Everything.  
\- I've been in your shoes. I've lost everything, too. But somehow I managed to survive and go on and—  
\- And here you are! Away from the people you love and not knowing if you're gonna survive another day.

Another punch on Miles' stomach.

\- If you wanna die, then just say so! You don't 'ave to be pointing at my mistakes like if you were better than me. If you wanna come along, then just come along. I just won't be changing any of my plans because of you.

Miles got up from the bench.

\- I'm not asking you to. - Hanae told him.   
\- Great.

Silence.

\- But you do 'ave a point. I 'ave nothing. I mean, my luggage was left back in my hotel room but I don't think we could go back there, right now. I 'ave no documents, I 'ave no money, I haven't a change of clothes. I 'ave no idea what to do, now. - Miles said and sighed.   
\- I know a place we could go. The owner is my friend, he'll give us shelter. At least for today. - Hanae told Miles. - But it's just a bit far away from here. Actually, it's _very_ far away from here.   
\- If not there, then where? - Miles shrugged at Hanae.   
\- We should start walking, then.

——————————————————————

\- I should have brought a coat. - Caterine said, embracing herself in an attempt to stay warm.   
\- Here, take my jacket. - Rolf said, putting his jacket over her shoulders.   
\- Thank you.   
\- Do you think there's somebody still following us?  
\- No, we've lost them on the fifth turn we took. It's alright, now.   
\- Great. We're doing great so far.   
\- Yes. Even though we're gonna have to stop in a few of hours.   
\- That's alright, we can find a little shop or restaurant and eat something. Rest our feet for a bit.   
\- I'd suggest that.   
\- Of course you would.

Both stopped talking and started to pay attention to the people surrounding them.

\- Do you think there's someone here in the same situation as us? - Caterine asked Rolf.  
\- I don't see anyone else in a "wedding dress" so I think no, there's no one else on the run like us. 

Caterine giggled a bit.

\- But I can see a few faces dealing with a bit of pain, here and there.  
\- Yeah. I can see it too. There was this girl in a blue navy dress that just walked past us and she was completely distressed by something.   
\- How do you know?   
\- Her socks weren't matching. She thought she had put two navy blue socks on but it happens one of them was actually black.  
\- And you've noticed that? I mean, we're walking, she was walking... How did you have the time to do it?  
\- It's not about time... It's just that when something captures my eye so it becomes automatic. I see hundreds of things within seconds. It's terrible, actually.  
\- I could be of service.  
\- Sometimes it is.

Rolf and Caterine kept on walking and walking until they felt their feet was too hurt to keep going.

They walked into a little restaurant.

\- This sucks. I mean, we have to eat the same thing every time because it's the only thing we've memorized from the menu.   
\- I agree. Miles should have taught us a little more about food. - Caterine said, taking off her shoes, under the table. Her back was turned to the door.  
\- We can ask him when we see him, again.

Rolf signaled to the waiter and pointed out what both Caterine and himself were going to eat, alongside a symbol for "two" with his fingers.

\- I'm still mad at you. - Caterine told Rolf, while she pattered around their small table.   
\- I'm a great kisser, at least you have to give me that.   
\- There was no need for that. This isn't the _science fiction_ you love so—

Caterine stopped talking and just kept staring at something that seemed to be behind Rolf.

He didn't notice.

\- I know. This looks more like drama. But still, I— Where are you going?

Caterine got up from the table and ran outside. She thought she had seen someone she knew on the reflection of the small mirror she was facing, behind Rolf, on the restaurant.

She looked at both sides before she started to run. She was barefoot.

\- _Cat_! - Rolf yelled, carrying her shoes.   
\- _Gomen kudasai! Gomen kudasai! Gomen kudasai! -_ She kept repeating as she pushed through the people on the street, not looking back at Rolf not even once.

She ran and at some point she felt like maybe she was hallucinating.

_I'm just too tired._

She turned around to try to go back to the restaurant, and then she could see a pair of eyes looking at her.

Standing there on the middle of the crowd, he was. As much of an unbeliever as Caterine, herself.

\- Miles. - She whispered as an overwhelming feeling of relief overcame her and a large smile took place on her face.


	19. Feet

**1922**

\- I'm sorry.   
\- It's not your fault.   
\- I feel like it is.   
\- It's not, honey. Don't worry.

Lil was comforting Jamie about the dead fish in Matt's small room he used to call "my office". It was right next Alex's actual office.

\- _It's not, honey. Don't worry._

Miles mocked Lil's speech.

\- Shut up, dickhead. - Nick slapped the back of Miles' head.

Lil just ignored Miles.

\- Well, Matt and Alex won't be back until morning so what if we bought another fish and replaced the dead one? Bet he won't even notice.   
\- Matt's had this fishy for years, I'm not too sure he won't notice. - Jamie said, scratching his nape.   
\- All fish are the same, I mean. There aren't any distinctive marks on this one so we can't replace it. It shall be fine. - Lil said, looking at the dead fish on a napkin, on her palm.  
\- Even if he doesn't notice, where are we gonna find one of those fishes at this hour? - Nick asked Lil.  
\- That's the only problem. - She pressed her lips together, thinking.   
\- She's right, he won't notice. - Miles said.  
\- What did you just say? - Nick asked Miles.  
\- That Matt won't notice. - Miles repeated.   
\- You _agreed. He agreed_ with Lil. - Nick pointed at Miles and then walked away from the group, heading towards the bar to grab a beer.  
\- Because this fish's been dead before. - Miles said to Nick.

Everyone furrowed their brows at him.

\- I mean. - Miles cleared his throat before continuing. - There was this time Matt went on a trip and he asked me to take care of his stupid fish. I don't know why he doesn't just take the fish home and asks Breana to take care of it... Anyway, I was responsible for the fish but I forgot to feed it and the little fucker died. I had to replace it. - Miles finished his explanation.  
\- Remind me to never leave my plants under your care. - Lil told him.  
\- You ain't got any plants! - Miles protested.  
\- My future plants. - Lil added. - Well, you've had the fish replaced before so where do we find another one like this one? I know it's late but maybe if we bribe someone we could...  
\- Know that little shop behind the flower shop near the boardwalk? - Miles asked everyone.  
\- No.

It was the collective answer.

\- Wait, you guys don't know the flower shop? - Miles furrowed his brows at his friends.  
\- No. I don't get flowers that often. - Lil said, yet again analyzing the fish on her palm.  
\- I buy me wife flowers on the shop by the main street. - Jamie said.  
\- Yeah, me too. The boardwalk is too far away if you're aiming for flowers. - Nick added.  
\- Then you won't know how to get there. - Miles clicked his tongue and started to search around the bar for his car keys.   
\- Where the fuck do you think you're going? You're drunk as fuck, can't even walk straight. - Nick pointed, taking the keys off of Miles' hand.  
\- Oi!   
\- He's right, Miles. - Jamie said.   
\- You won't know how to get there. I 'ave to go and it is _my_ car you'll be driving. And you've also been drinking, Jamie!   
\- I know. Who could 'ave know we would 'ave trouble with this stupid fish. - Jamie pointed out.  
\- Don't curse at it. Poor thing is dead. - Lil said, closing the napkin around the fish, wrapping it up in its _pall._ She put it on her pocket. _-_ As always, I'll have to fix it so I'll drive the fucking car.   
\- No way! - Miles protested. He yanked the keys from Nick's hand.  
\- We're losing time. Gimme the fucking keys and let's fucking go before it gets any later.   
\- No!   
\- Miles, come on. - Nick rolled his eyes.  
\- Gimme the keys. - Lil repeated. Her palm open in front of Miles, now waiting for the keys to be placed on it.  
\- You know... maybe we should just tell Matt the fish died. It was an accident after all. - Jamie said and Nick agreed.  
\- No. That's our last resort. I'm gonna drive Miles' car and we're going to try to find another fish or I'm gonna tell Matt about the first fish and how _it was Miles' idea_ to replace the fish a second time. - Lil threatened Miles.

Him being drunk, that was enough.

\- This time it wasn't my idea, it was _your_ idea! - Miles protested.  
\- Yeah. But who Matt's gonna believe? - She asked him.  
\- Fine! - Miles put the car keys on her hand.  
\- Great. We'll be back as soon as we find the fish, boys. - Lil announced, walking towards the exit.   
\- Wait! - Miles grabbed Nick's beer and took a sip from it before giving the bottle back and running after Lil.

Both disappeared around the room's corner.

\- Should we change our clothes to full black suits? Because I feel like one of them might end up dead by the end of this quest. - Nick told Jamie.   
\- Then we tell Alex and Matt that Lil, Miles and the fish all died in an accident. - Jamie said.

Nick scoffed.

\- I'm tired of those two fighting. They should both go fuck someone and relieve the stress, you know. Each other, maybe. - Jamie also grabbed a beer for himself.   
\- Stop putting fucking images in my head you git. - Nick slapped his friend's arm, nearly causing him to spill the beer.  
\- Stop fucking slapping me, you fuck. - Jamie complained.

Pretty soon they would reminisce something and then laugh until their ribs would almost crack.

\- By the boardwalk, right? - Lil asked Miles, driving into the main street so she could get the exit to the boardwalk a bit far ahead.   
\- Yes. One of the very last shops, actually. I found out about the flower shop when I went to replace Matt's first fish. - Miles said and laughed. - That phrase sounded funny. _Matt's first fish. -_ He repeated and laughed again.  
\- Why do you care about a flower shop? - Lil asked once the laughter had died down.   
\- I went to buy your flowers there. The ones we kept throwing back and forth on your hotel bedroom.  
\- Yes, I remember.   
\- Yeah. Fun times.  
\- _Fun_ times? I had cuts in my feet and it fucking hurt to walk. And a few days after that I got shot, _twice_.   
\- But don't you remember how we teamed up to fool the security? They walked in there like gorillas and you were like " _Oh, it's fine. My friend was just moving the keyboard"_. - Miles said the last phrase trying to impersonate Lil.  
\- I don't speak like that.  
\- Yeah, you do.  
\- I most definitely don't.   
\- You do. Really.  
\- Really?  
\- Yeah.  
\- It must be so annoying, then. - Lil scoffed.  
\- Maybe I'm exaggerating a bit but yes, definitely annoying. You're annoying.  
\- I come in second place to you, then.   
\- I always win, don't I?   
\- I just gave you the _most annoying_ title, why are you celebrating?   
\- I don't know. - Miles shrugged. He rested his head on the car seat and closed his eyes.   
\- Hey! - Lil hit his arm.  
\- Ouch!   
\- Wake the fuck up! I need you to get to the fish place. You can sleep on the way back.  
\- After you get to the boardwalk, it's the sixth shop after the ice cream shop. You stop and then there's an alley by the flower shop. You walk down it and _ta-da,_ the fish shop.  
\- Just that?   
\- Yep. - Miles said, smiling at Lil as if he had just told her something extremely clever.

Lil parked the car by the flower shop. Both she and Miles got out.

They walked into the alley and after having to break in the fish shop—and leaving a hundred dollar bill so the owner of the place could cover the costs of that _operation—_ the friends got back into Miles' car and Lil started to drive them back to _The Arctic_.

\- Oh, shit! - Lil said, under her breath and parked the car on the side of the road, by the seaside.  
\- What's wrong? - Miles asked.  
\- The other fish is still in my pocket. I... I think since we're here we could bury it in the sand real quick and then resume it _The Arctic._  
\- Whatever. - Miles said, already stepping out of the car.

Lil got out, too.

She took her shoes off and walked into the beach. After having dug a small hole on the sand, Lil placed the fish in it, still wrapped up in the napkin, and filled the hole with sand, again.

\- Done. We can— Miles? - She called his name.  
\- _Here_!

He was on the top of a big rock, by the sea.

\- Get down from there!   
\- _Come up here! The view is cool._

Lil walked towards the rock so they could talk without having to scream.

\- It's the end of the night, everything is dark, there's no view. Get down from there and let's go back to the pub.  
\- I'll get down in a few. But you should really come up here. The breeze feels nice.   
\- Why me? Why me, God I ask you. - Lil looked up to the sky.   
\- Come on, come up here! I found a seashell! Look!

Miles was waving the seashell around.

He put it on his ear.

\- Don't do that! Maybe there's something still in there! - Lil said, climbing on the rock to take the shell out of Miles' hands.  
\- It's empty. Look! - He put the shell on Lil's ear. She screamed in horror.  
\- Get this thing away from me!   
\- You're scared of seashells? - Miles frowned at her.  
\- Not the shell. What lives in it.   
\- But it's empty.   
\- How can you be so sure?  
\- Because I've checked. It's empty, I swear.   
\- Fine, I believe you. It's empty, so what?   
\- Don't you wanna listen to the sea on it?  
\- The sea is right in front of us, Miles. I can already hear it.  
\- You're such a bore. - Miles told her, putting the shell back on his ear.

He closed his eyes.

\- Can we go, now? - Lil asked him.

He didn't respond.

Lil sighed.

\- Are you sure you don't wanna listen to the sea? - Miles asked again, eyeing Lil.   
\- If I do it, can we go home?  
\- Yes.  
\- Fine, I'll listen to it.  
\- Here. - Miles put the shell on Lil's ear. - Close your eyes and focus only on the shell. Ignore everything else.   
\- This is—  
\- Shh!

Lil frowned at that reprimand.

Both Miles and Lil stayed silent while she tried to listen to the sea on the shell.

\- I think I can hear it. - She said, after a few minutes. A tiny smile on her face.   
\- Great. Keep the focus on the shell. - Miles said as he embraced her waist and pulled their bodies closer. They started swaying.

Just like the waves.

\- It feels more real if you move with the sound. - He whispered in her other ear as they "danced".   
\- It feels like... like I'm... floating. - Lil said. Her eyes still closed, the smile still on her lips.  
\- Exactly.

They kept on "dancing" for a few more minutes until Lil opened her eyes only to find Miles with his eyes also closed.

_A blindman guiding a blindman._

\- I.. er... I think we should go, now. - Lil said, pushing the shell away from her ear.  
\- Yeah. - Miles said, clearing his throat and taking a step back. - We should go, now.

He threw the shell back into the sea.

\- A new home for somefish else. - He told Lil and then shrugged, chuckling a bit.  
\- I think so. - Lil said before climbing down the rock and walking towards the car.

Miles followed.

 _You know... I wish we had broken into the flower shop, as well._ He thought to himself while he looked at Lil.

\- I think taking off my shoes was a big mistake. My feet are all dirty, now. Ugh, I'm so dumb, sometimes. - Lil complained, looking at her feet.

**Present time, Kyoto.**

\- Hopefully you'll get to clean up your feet when we get to the place... - Rolf pointed at Hanae.  
\- Hanae. - She said, for the fifth time.  
\- Yes, of course. The place Hanae was telling us about. Besides, you acted out from an impulse. You thought you'd seen Miles and then you ran after him. I'd do the same thing, to be honest.  
\- I'm so glad we found you. I was so terribly worried about you, Miles. - Caterine said, squeezing Miles' arm very briefly.   
\- I'm very glad, as well. I mean, I was worried about you, too. So many days after a single sign you guys were actually safe.   
\- Turns out we weren't, as we've already explained. - Rolf told Miles.  
\- Yes. I'm sorry. I had no idea they'd do that to you. - Miles said, looking at both his friends' faces.  
\- Maybe... - Hanae started. - Maybe Lee wasn't aware of that. I mean. Nobody knew about the real reason you're here, Miles. The three of you, actually. So maybe the people who were looking after you two - Hanae pointed at Rolf and Caterine - thought you had all came to talk about _Tokyo_ businesses. Then they kept you away from Miles while they cooked up their plan to take over the mansion.   
\- It makes sense. - Miles agreed. - But if I may, they didn't took over the mansion. They killed everyone. They've ruined the place.   
\- Yes... - Hanae's mind floated over to Masako's image, again.  
\- But why keep us away from you when you could've suspected something was wrong since you weren't hearing from us? - Rolf tried to reason.  
\- Specially you having the reputation Lee told you about. I mean "intelligent but extremely violent"? - Caterine joined Rolf's track of thoughts.  
\- Maybe that's why they attacked the way they did. - Miles said, looking at Hanae. - I mean, it was so unexpected and it felt so rushed. They got in and then got out. Destroyed everything as to try to make us focus on something else than the fact that they took Lee. Why didn't they go after me, too?  
\- Maybe they thought you were protecting Lee but when they didn't find you together they just took the man and it was it. - Caterine tried to explain.  
\- Yeah, that could be it. - Miles said. - One more question would be: if they're enemies, why didn't just kill Lee on the spot? They took him as a hostage in exchange for what? If they asks us something, we don't 'ave anything to give to them.  
\- But Lee has. - Hanae said and fixed her eyes on something only her could see. - He's the only one to know the whole _Tokyo "_ recipe".  
\- Why would someone hold the formula to a... city? Is that even possible? - Rolf asked.  
\- Not a city. - Miles said, grabbing a napkin and rolling it out into the form of a straw.  
\- Really? - Rolf raised his brows at his cousin.  
\- Yes. And it's the _most_ crazy thing. Took me half an hour just to stop wanting to punch someone.  
\- What are you talking about? - Caterine asked both Rolf and Miles.  
\- Nothing important. - Miles said, un-rolling the napkin. - Do you think that could be Kazuya's doing? - He asked Hanae.  
\- I don't think so. - Hanae replied.  
\- Whatever it is, Kazuya is most definitely hiding and he wouldn't do anything to bring attention to his name, right now. Nothing like invading a mansion, killing a bunch of people and kidnapping someone who wasn't you, Miles. All he wants now is you. - Caterine said.  
\- That's why we gotta move fast, from now on. - Rolf added. - Now we're together again and the puzzle is coming together but the clock is also ticking. We have to figure out how to get to Kayoko.  
\- I feel a bit more relieved now that I know the attack had nothing to do with me. I mean, we still need to be cautious but it's not like we're facing yet another enemy. - Miles said, sparking up the cigarette Rolf had given him. - Now to the Kayoko matter. Yes, we 'ave to come up with a plan very fast.   
\- Miles, can I talk to you, outside, for a second? - Caterine asked Miles.   
\- Sure.

Caterine and Miles stepped outside for a little chat.

\- Alright, Miles, I'm gonna go straight to the point. Given the mess we're in, I don't think you should bring your girlfriend around.  
\- She's not my girlfriend. - Miles chuckled a bit and shook his head. - Hanae is the only girl to 'ave survived the attack because we were together at the time it went down. That didn't sound right, did it?  
\- Not quite.   
\- Well, Lee had designed Hanae to _take care of my needs_ for as long as my stay at the mansion lasted. Turns out that... I'm in a very dark place, right now, and we kind of became friends, shared some stories. But then she hid from me the fact that Kazuya had left Paris and we were having an argument about it at the exact moment the attack started. That's why we're both still alive.   
\- Mhm... And what, now? I mean, we really can't have her around.  
\- I know. But right now she's the only one who can help us. She has connections with some people that could keep us safe for the rest of our mission. If we drop her now, we could wander off into the hands of the Yakuza. We don't know who to trust.  
\- Can we trust her? Can we trust you around her? - Caterine asked Miles. She was really worried for Rolf kept telling her how affected by Lil's death Miles had been and so if he wasn't gonna start acting the same way in case that Japanese girl died.   
\- No. To both questions. She's kept secrets from me, before, and she could do it again. And I... I'm not myself for a long time, now. So it's a leap of faith we're all taking.  
\- I see. If there's nothing else to be done then... Let's take a leap of faith.

Miles nodded at Caterine.

They walked back into the restaurant.

\- Thought you had ran away with my fiancée. - Rolf told Miles as him and Caterine took their places back on the table.  
\- What? - Miles asked, looking from Caterine to Rolf and then from Rolf to Caterine.   
\- It's a joke. - Caterine rolled her eyes at Rolf.   
\- I still want to know. - Miles said, holding back a little laugh.   
\- Your cousin was banging on the bedroom door at the middle of the night, screaming his lungs out, begging for me to forgive him and marry him because he thought it was something really _common_ to do to convince the people that kept following us that we had been getting together so often because we were lovers rather than a rescue team.   
\- A little bit of drama's never killed anyone.   
\- I thought your favourite book genre was—  
\- _Science fiction_. - Miles and Caterine said at the same time. Both were looking at Rolf.  
\- Some things may be changing. - Rolf shrugged. - I even think I'm ready to settle down and make some baby cats. - He said, looking at Caterine.  
\- Why are you like that? - She complained. - Right now that's time to start acting more seriously than ever, you start monkeying around again. Leave me the fuck alone!  
\- Yeah. But can we get back to what's really important, now? - Miles asked everyone.  
\- I'm sorry to interrupt but... - Hanae said, feeling a bit uncomfortable with the way both Caterine and Rolf were looking at her. - Do you really want to discuss this _here_?   
\- She's got a point. - Rolf said, looking around.   
\- Where should we talk about it, then? - Caterine asked Hanae.   
\- The shop. - Hanae said, looking at Miles.   
\- Yeah, we were going there when we bumped into you. - Miles told Rolf and Caterine.  
\- Let's not waste another moment, then. - Caterine said, grabbing her purse and walking out before any one of her partners could.

The group walked for another hour until they got to the shop Hanae told them about.

A book shop.

\- _Mr. Naomori! -_ Hanae said, upon the sight of her friend.   
_\- Hanae! What a pleasant surprise! I haven't seen you in so long. How's everything? I see you've got friends. -_ He waved at Miles, Caterine and Rolf.

Mr. Naomori was a cheerful elderly man that gave off those "grandfather" vibes. It was comforting.

\- _I'm afraid things aren't going well, Mr. Naomori. I don't think you've heard anything about it but Lee's mansion was attacked. Everyone died._  
\- _Oh my God, this is terrible. I'm sorry, my dear. Are you ok?_  
\- _Physically, yes. Mentally not so much... but it'll pass. Well, but it's exactly about this matter that I've come to talk to you. My friends and I have nowhere to go, we've lost everything back there because we had to run away. So I was thinking maybe you could give us shelter for a few days? We could help around, like I used to do when I first got here._  
\- _Well, of course! Of course! The only problem being I've only got one proper room upstairs and the other one is really small with only one single bed so... -_ Mr. Naomori was looking at the faces in front of him, an apologetic expression on his face.   
_\- That won't be a problem. -_ Miles told the man.   
_\- Yes, it won't be a problem. -_ Hanae echoed Miles' words.  
 _\- Alright, then. Welcome to my shop, friends. Stay as long as you need._  
 _\- Thank you so much, Mr. Naomori. I don't know what we would do without you._  
 _\- Don't worry, my dear. I told you that the doors of my shop would be always open for you, didn't I?_

The man pinched Hanae's cheek and she giggled a bit. They hugged briefly.

 _\- You know the way. -_ Mr. Naomori told Hanae and she nodded at him. She guided her friends to the back of the shop.   
\- What a cute old man. I have no idea what he was saying but it all sounded cute. - Caterine thought aloud while the group made their way up a staircase.  
\- He's an amazing person. Helped me out when I first got to Kyoto. - Hanae said, opening the door to one of the rooms. - This is the room I used to live in when I worked in this book shop in exchange for shelter and food.

She felt an enormous feeling of nostalgia overcoming her.

\- The room is really small but it's very comfortable. - She continued.   
\- It's a double bed. - Caterine said, looking at Miles. - How are we...  
\- The other room has only one single bed, as Mr. Naomori said. But there is a spare futon so one of us could sleep on it.  
\- Well, I don't want to share the bed with you, Miles. - Rolf joked.   
\- Don't even dream about sharing a bed with me. - Caterine shut down Rolf's expectations. - I'll take the bed on the other room. - She added.   
\- That leaves with either Rolf or I sharing a bed with you, Hanae. - Miles told her.   
\- You know I'd rather you'd share with me. - Hanae told Miles.   
\- That puts me sharing the room with you, Cat. - Rolf told her.   
\- At least it's not the bed.  
\- But what if you and Hanae shared the bed, though? - Miles asked Caterine. - Would you two be okay with that?   
\- Miles! - Rolf complained about his cousin ruining his plans.   
\- I'm a fussy sleeper so I prefer to sleep in a bed of my own as not to kick anyone in my sleep. - Caterine shrugged.   
\- A'ight. So you're sharing the room with Rolf and I'll be sharing with Hanae. But you. - Miles pointed at Rolf. - You don't disturb Caterine or I'll kick your ass so hard that you're gonna land back in the States.  
\- Jesus Christ! I won't! I won't disturb her.   
\- Be warned. - Miles pointed at Rolf in a threatening way. - Now everything is settled I vouch for us to rest a bit before planning our next moves. I feel really tired. Didn't bat an eye since yesterday.   
\- Yeah, I agree. I'm pretty tired, too. - Caterine said.   
\- I'm gonna search for the futon and... oh, I think one of my old kimonos is still around here. - Hanae said, going into the room she and Miles would share and searching around the dresser. - _Yes, there's a couple of them still here. -_ She came out the room and handed Caterine one of the kimonos. - They've been sitting here for a while but they're clean. Not freshly washed but still clean.   
\- Yes, this will do. Thank you very much.   
\- That last door by the left is a bathroom so we could all take a shower before taking a nap. You can go first, Caterine.   
\- Oh, I appreciate that. I'm still freaking out about my dirty feet so... thank you.  
\- You're welcome. I believe there's a couple of towels there, Mr. Naomori always replaces them, it's a habit of his.

Caterine nodded before heading towards the bathroom.

\- About you, boys, I'm sorry but I haven't got clothes for you. - Hanae shrugged.  
\- Don't worry. Cat and I grabbed all our money before we ran so Miles and I can go out and buy a couple of shirts and trousers and whatever else we need. Food is also not expensive around here so we're covered. I think we have money enough to cover our costs for the next three months.  
\- That's great news. But we'll have to go back to my hotel to retrieve my money and the documents I'm gonna need to go back home when this is all over. The amount of money I have is enough to buy us our three tickets back home so we're covered on that end, too.

Hanae walked away from Miles and Rolf but they didn't notice for they were too caught up in their plan making.

They kept on talking until Caterine came back from the bathroom and asked where Hanae was for it was her turn to take a shower, now.

\- She was right here a second ago... - Miles said, looking around. - I'm gonna look for her.   
\- I'm gonna take the shower, then, while you look for her. - Rolf said.   
\- Yeah, you do that. - Miles said, already going down the staircase.

He approached Mr. Naomori.

\- _Excuse me, Mr. Naomori. Have you seen Hanae? We were talking upstairs and then I turned around and she was gone._  
 _\- Oh, yes. She went outside a few moments ago. -_ The old man replied.   
\- _Alright. Thank you._

Miles went outside the little shop and it didn't take him long to find Hanae.

\- It's your turn to take a shower. I mean, Rolf's taking a shower while I came to look for you but you're next. - He said, approaching her. - I turned around and you were gone.   
\- Yes, I figured what you were talking about wasn't my business so I walked away. - She told Miles. - Anyway, there's a shop just around that corner where you and Rolf can buy some clothes.  
\- We're all gonna go shopping together since you and Caterine need something to wear, too.   
\- Thank you but no. I can try to go to the bank and try to withdraw some of my own money. Buy my own clothes and food. Don't worry about me. - Hanae said and then walked back inside the shop.

Miles decided to smoke another cigarette before going back upstairs himself.

—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-  
 **A week since Alexa's visit, Canada.**

_Everything is fine so far but I still don't feel safe._

Suki was caught up in her thoughts while she folded Austin's clothes. She had fired the maid since if they were really in dangerous and had to run, she wouldn't have to try to make up excuses to the lady. She would just grab Austin's hand and run away.

Again.

But going back to do the everyday's chores wasn't doing any good to Suki's health and soon she started to feel ill, again. The cough was back and now she was just waiting for the blood to show up on her tissues, once more.

On the other room Suki could hear Austin laughing and running around, playing with Tiny.

She finished folding the clothes and put them away. Then went to look for the broom so she could sweep the kitchen.

Suki poured herself a glass of water and tied her hair up, took a sip on her drink before she started to clean up the kitchen.

Fifteen minutes into sweeping the floor, Suki started to feel dizzy. She put both hands on one of the kitchen counters for support, and started to take deep breaths.

\- Austin... Aus— She tried to call for her son but her voice would barely come out. And then it became harder and harder to breath.

As her sight started to turn black. Suki knocked over her glass of water and it shattered into a thousand pieces on the floor. The same floor where Suki fell, unconscious.

\- _Mom_?

Austin yelled from the other room.

Getting no answer, Austin picked Tiny up and decided to go check what was that noise that came from the kitchen.

\- Mom! - He yelled, putting the dog on the ground and running towards his mom. He kneeled next to her, not minding getting cuts on his knees. - Mom, wake up! Mom!

The left side of Suki's face was all bloodied, for she had fallen on the pieces of glass on the floor, and that scared Austin to an extent he started to cry louder than he had ever cried.

His hands tugging on his hair.

Tiny barked.

He looked at her while a glimpse of an idea shone in his eyes.

Austin left his house in a hurry and he ran like he had never ran before until he got to Thomas' house.

\- MR. HOROWITZ! MR. HOROWITZ!

Thomas didn't take long to answer the door.

\- Austin? What's happening? You're bleeding, is everything alright? - Thomas crouched in front of Austin to take a better look at the boy's knees.  
\- Mom passed out. She's bleeding. I think she's dying. - He started to cry again.   
\- No, she's not dying! - Thomas said, walking back inside his house for a second and then reappearing with his coat and the car keys. - It's alright, now. I'll help you, everything's gonna be fine.

Austin and Thomas got into his car and he drove as quickly as possible to Suki's house.

\- She's in the kitchen. - Austin told Thomas while both ran inside the house.   
\- Stay in the living room, Austin. Please. - He asked the boy before hurrying to the kitchen.

Suki was still on the floor.

A little puddle of blood surrounding her torso.

\- Damn it. - Thomas said, under his breath. - Suki, can you hear me? - He touched her face and checked her pulse.

Thomas put Suki in his arms and started to make his way to his car, outside. He was gonna take her to the hospital.

\- Austin, do you happen know your mother's full name and the date she was born and the address of this house? - Thomas asked Austin, while the boy followed him back to the car.   
\- Yes, yes. I do.  
\- Awesome. Come, get in the backseat. Put your mother's head on your lap. I'll drive us to the hospital as fast as I can.   
\- Alright. Thank you. - The boy told Thomas, on the verge of tears.  
\- It's gonna be alright, buddy. I'll do my best.

—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-

\- So...?  
\- Yes, I think I've killed the last doubts we had about it. - Hanae told everyone.

She had been the one to try to find out about the schedule of Kayoko' security team.

\- She spends the day at one part of the fortress and then at night they escort her to a special cell. She has only one lady-in-waiting and that's the person who gets her everything she needs. A curious fact is that: every time this woman brings Kayoko her food, said food she has to taste before Kayoko eats, she has to stay in Kayoko's room for at least twenty minutes after she's finished eating. If there's an attempt of poisoning, that lady-in-waiting is killed and replaced. -Hanae explained.  
\- That's too extreme. - Caterine remarked.  
\- Another thing I thought you should know is that, well, this is common knowledge but since you don't happen to know almost anything about the Yakuza... Bosses and their relatives are not buried. Their bodies are cremated still inside their fortresses less than twenty-four hours after their deaths.   
\- Why? - Rolf asked.  
\- So corpse violations won't take place. - Miles said, thinking out loud.   
\- Exactly. This tradition started back in the 1800's, after one of the bosses of the mafia sent his men to dig up his enemies' bodies and bring back their heads. He acquired a collection of them.   
\- That's awful. - Rolf said.   
\- And also invalidates one of my plans. - Caterine said, sighing.   
\- What plan? - Rolf asked.   
\- I had planned to give her one of the white pills so she'd "die". Then we'd wait until she was buried and then dig her up again and ran away with her as quickly as possible.   
\- What white pills? - Miles asked Caterine.   
\- It's not like the one I gave you. - Caterine dismissed that subject.  
\- What do we do, now? - Rolf asked his friends.   
\- Our only hope is the lady-in-waiting. Hanae, does this woman ever leave the house? - Caterine asked Hanae.  
\- Yes. Twice a week. She's left once this week, already and—  
\- Don't say it. - Rolf interrupted Hanae.   
\- And... she'll be leaving again, tomorrow. - Hanae said, carefully.  
\- Perfect. - Caterine said.   
\- Don't tell me you're thinking what I'm thinking you're thinking. - Rolf told Caterine, making her turn her attention to him.   
\- We're gonna kidnap this woman. - She said, looking into Rolf's eyes.   
\- And then what? - Miles asked. - We kidnap her and when she doesn't come back to serve Kayoko, then she'll be replaced. It's no use.   
\- I'll take her place. Hanae mentioned before that every single person who serves Kayoko wears a robe so she won't see their faces, including her lady-in-waiting so if I dress up like her I—  
\- No.

Miles and Rolf said at the same time.

\- One: you don't speak Japanese. Two: you're too white and too tall. Three: you dress up like that woman and then what? - Miles asked Caterine.  
\- When the lady-in-waiting leaves the room, it's actually gonna be Kayoko leaving. I think it's gonna take enough time for they to realize it's not Kayoko who's locked in the room, it's gonna be actually me.   
\- No fucking way on Earth. - Rolf said.  
\- I 'ave to agree. It's not gonna work, Cat. They'll notice something is wrong before you even get to Kayoko's room. I'm sorry, we gotta think of something else.   
\- Besides... - Hanae started. - They wouldn't kill Kayoko if they caught her trying to run away. But they would kill you without thinking twice. They would know you're one of Miles' associates because you clearly come from the West, so...

Caterine sighed.

 _It was the perfect plan._ Caterine thought and clicked her tongue.

\- We 'ave less than a day to think of something else so let's start putting our brains to work as if our lives depend on it. - Miles told everyone.

_Because they actually do._

—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-———

\- Baby?

Suki called for Austin as soon as she opened her eyes and saw him sitting down at an armchair by a suspicious window.

\- Mom, you're awake! - He got up and walked towards Suki, touching the right side of her face, the side that hadn't been cut.

Suki frowned a bit.

\- What do you mean?   
\- He means you passed out in the kitchen of your home. - Thomas said, capturing Suki's attention.

She looked around for the first time.

\- Mr. Horowitz helped me to bring you to the hospital. It's ok, now. It's gonna be ok, mom. - Austin said, trying to comfort Suki.  
\- I... - She looked at Thomas, again. - Thank you.  
\- Don't mention it. But if I may, Austin, can I have a little chat with your mother? Just the two of us. It's gonna take just a minute.  
\- Yes. I'll be right back, mom.   
\- Don't go too far! - Suki told her son before he left the room.  
\- How are you feeling? - Thomas asked Suki, walking towards her.  
\- Confused. I don't remember what happened so I ended up here.  
\- Austin went to call for me at my house, he was desperate. I drove us back to your house and you were on the kitchen floor. Fallen over some broken glass. The doctors patched you up and took you to the exam room.   
\- Did they say something? - Suki asked Thomas.   
\- Two things. - Thomas said and paused. - He seemed hesitant. - One is that you should stop smoking. And two is that you've got a chronic case of bronchitis and if you keep on pushing it, it could evolve into tuberculosis. So you really need to rest when you get back home.  
\- This isn't the time for that. I can't be sick right now. - Suki said, lost in her thoughts.   
\- Why's that? - Thomas asked, firmly.

Suki looked at him.

Her eyes piercing his.

\- I killed a man. Buried him in a grave dug up by my husband who's tracking down some Japanese guy that's threatening to kill Austin and I. - She spit the truth on Thomas' face. - I've heard from Austin's aunt that someone tried to kidnap his cousin and now I can't stop worrying and thinking if they're coming for him, too. I can't be sick because my son needs me, I'm the only one he's got and I need to protect him until Miles is back with us. Is that enough for you? - Suki asked Thomas, a bit angry.

Of course he'd never understand what she was going through. He had no kids. He didn't have anyone to protect.

\- Yes. - Thomas simply said.

And that was the last exchange of words they had that morning.

—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-———

\- You're late.   
\- The people from the kitchen had to cook the rice again because someone burned it. And I ordered another fish was sliced up, the one they had prepared wasn't looking so good.   
\- Never mind. Make sure she eats everything.

A man said, opening the door of Kayoko's bedroom.

Or holding cell, if you want to call it that way.


	20. The Sea

**Seven hours ago, the book shop.**

\- Hanae?   
\- Hi! - Hanae said, adjusting her purse under her arm.   
\- You're going out? - Rolf asked, frowning a bit.  
\- Yes. I'm gonna go to the bank, again. I figured we can't stay at the book shop much longer so I'll get a little money so we can all move to an inn or somewhere like that.   
\- Mhm... I don't think it's right that you pay for us all. I mean...  
\- Don't worry. I've got money enough and it's not gonna be for much longer now, isn't it? You guys are about to finish your mission, anyway.  
\- Hopefully.  
\- Hopefully. I won't take long to come back so if you can tell the others to start packing, it'd be good.  
\- Yeah, I'll do that, then. - Rolf nodded at her.  
\- Miles is taking a nap for he couldn't sleep very well last night, but he should be up soon. - She told Rolf.  
\- I won't wake him up right away then, or he'll get a headache.  
\- Yeah?  
\- Yep. Since we were kids.   
\- Fine, then. Well, I'm going now. Be right back.

**Present time, the book shop.**

\- Guys, guys!

Miles walked into Rolf and Caterine's bedroom since the door was already open, anyway.

\- What's it now? - Rolf asked Miles. He just wanted to take a nap.  
\- Hanae. She went to meet Kayoko. - Miles was waving a piece of paper, frantically.  
\- What!? - Caterine asked, widening her eyes.   
\- Here, read it.

_I figured I was the only one who could carry on with Caterine's plan. I'm everything she's not, I could fool those people. And I also realized her plan didn't have flaws. It's a solid plan and I believe we can achieve your goal if we follow it._   
_I asked Rolf to tell me a bit more about one of the pills him and Caterine were talking about, the other day. Once I knew how they work I stole a pill from you, Caterine, and I drugged you, Miles. Just enough so you'd sleep the amount of hours I needed so I'd be inside the Kamenashi fortress. And since the sleeping pills are wrapped in paper and not encapsulated in glass, I used a bit of the content of the pill I stole from Caterine to make you sleep, Miles._   
_I'm sorry. Not that much but I still am._   
_So, I added some bits to Caterine's plan._   
_I'm gonna switch places with Kayoko so one of you have to be outside the fortress for when she walks out, you have to grab her and hide her. Run away with her as quickly as possible. There's a secret passage by the riverbank so I believe she'll use that to escape._

_-_ How does she know about all of these details? - Rolf asked Miles while Caterine kept on reading Hanae's letter.

_In the morning, the security team will come to take her away to the other side of the house and then they're gonna find me. That's when I'm gonna swallow the pill I'm carrying with me and then I'll "die". They'll bury me, I have very little doubts about that. And then another one of you has to find me and dig me up before I wake up inside to coffin and run out of air._   
_If we manage to execute all of these steps without any mistakes, we'd have freed Kayoko and all of us will be still alive by the end of the day._

_I hope now you see I'm not selfish, Miles._   
_I was really just tired of being alone._

_-_ What the actual fuck!? - Caterine said, exasperated, upon finishing the letter. - When did you tell her about the pills? - She hit Rolf's arm.  
\- About three days ago. I figured she was just curious. She told me she had seen Miles' bottle. - Rolf tried to explain.  
\- She was bluffing. She never saw my bottle. - Miles told the others. He was still feeling a bit sleepy.  
\- Did she give you anything to drink, earlier today, Miles? - Caterine asked.   
\- We drank some tea.   
\- The problem now is: she diluted part of her powder on your drink. That means the dosage that's left will not be enough to keep her "dead" for as long as she thinks it will! She will wake up way sooner than she thinks—  
\- And she'll still be buried. - Rolf said and gulped.   
\- Exactly. - Caterine took a deep breath.  
\- We 'ave no choice, now. We 'ave to follow the plan and try not to fuck it all up. - Miles said, running his hands on his hair.

——————————————————————

\- _Kayoko_? - Hanae whispered after the door had been closed and locked behind her.  
\- _You're not my maid, are you?_ \- Kayoko asked, turning her head to look at the strange figure who had just entered her room.

Hanae put the tray with the food on Kayoko's bed and pushed her hoodie back, allowing Kayoko to see her face for the first time.

\- _If you're here to kill me, please, do it before my brother finds out. I've been waiting for this moment for many years, now. -_ Kayoko said, still sitting on the armchair by the bookcase.   
\- _No, nothing like that_. - Hanae walked towards Kayoko and crouched in front of her. - _I came to help you escape this hell._  
\- _You're wasting your time, then. It's impossible._  
\- _Do you remember a man called Miles Kane_? - Hanae asked Kayoko and watched her searching for the memories around her brain.  
\- _Yes. He's from Florida. My brother had his band killed_.   
\- _Well, he's here. Miles and two of his friends came all the way to Japan to set you free. He's your brother's biggest enemy, right now. Kazuya's been threatening to kill Miles' wife and son because Elisa divorced him, apparently. I don't know much about any details but he thinks Miles is the one to blame so he keeps sending men to try to kill Miles' family._  
\- _Typical him. That fucking bastard. I only wish I could put my hands on him._  
\- _That's why I'm here._

Hanae said, trying to ignore the heavy atmosphere of that place. It had gotten worse than what she remembered.

\- _I'm gonna explain everything to you and then you'll know it's not impossible to escape this place._ \- She continued.  
\- _And why should I trust you?_  
\- _There's a secret passage you could use to escape, it ends by the riverside. It's gonna be fine._  
\- _Have you ever been inside this house before?_ \- Kayoko asked Hanae, really intrigued by her.

Hanae closed her eyes and paused for a moment.

\- _Yes_. - She said, at last. - _I was one of your brother mistresses. I've been in and out this place several times, I know what I'm doing._  
\- _If you used to fuck my brother, then why are you betraying him, now?_  
\- _Because he left me for a French singer. He promised me a million things, he told me I wouldn't have to be a whore, anymore. And then one day he simply left. He was the first man I've ever loved and now I couldn't hate him more._  
\- _I wonder if there's someone on this land who doesn't hate Kazuya Kamenashi_.  
\- _If there is, I don't know. But if I can help you get to him, that's what I'll die trying to do._

Hanae grabbed Kayoko's hand and guided her to the bed, they sat in front of each other.

\- _But please, listen up. We don't have much time. This is what we're going to do._

_——————————————————————_

_-_ Do you think it's time we let him know?   
\- Enough time has passed, already.

Alex got up from the chair he was sitting on while smoking a cigar and walked towards the mirror. He made peace with his own image once he was finished adjusting his clothes and combing his hair with his fingers.

\- How do we break the news, though? - Jamie asked Alex, while looking at his timepiece.   
\- I don't think there's a way we could do it swiftly, innit? - Alex shrugged.   
\- I'm afraid of how's he gonna react. I mean...   
\- He'll 'ave to face it. We're only here to help. - Matt said, looking at everyone.

The other boys all got up from their respective places at the table and went to take care of their chores before Miles would arrive at _The Arctic._

It was past five o'clock in the afternoon when Miles arrived.

He was looking awful.

In Alex's office, the telephone started to ring.

\- 'ello, Miles. - Nick greeted his friend without really looking at him.

Everyone was a bit uptight.

\- Yes? - Alex picked up the phone.  
\- _Dante. Fifteen-one. Fifteen- thirty. Fifteen—_  
 _-_ Wait a second, it's going too fast! - Alex replied, frantically looking for a pen and grabbing a random piece of paper that was laying around on his desk.   
\- _Twenty-seven-four_. _Twenty-nine-twenty-nine. Thirty-eleven._

The speech went on for two more minutes.

 _-_ Is that yourself? - Alex whispered into the phone.

The line went dead.

Alex quickly put the phone back on its place and walked towards the shelves of his office, grabbed his copy of _The Divine Comedy,_ by Dante Alighieri.

Downstairs, the boys were all looking from one to another, trying to decide if they were gonna wait for Alex or if they'd start getting Miles ready for the news to come.

\- Page fifteen, page fifteen, page fif— here.

Alex pointed with his index at the first word on the fifteenth page of the book.

_I_

He continued to look from page to page.

_I remain fine. The body couldn't identify is not mine. Not in Hell, yet. Human relations with another human, harlot. Not compromised. The image is still, I'm gonna carry on._   
_Shine the fact upon the others._

_Love._

_-_ So, Miles... 'ave you got a minute? - Matt asked Miles.  
\- Yeah. - He said, turning around to face Matt. His back turned to the stairway to Alex's office.  
\- Yeah, we...

Alex hurried out of his office and started signaling to his friends to stop talking.

\- We... uh... got - Matt's eyes were now glued to Alex figured while the latter was almost doing a "shut up" dance.

Miles turned around to look at what Matt was looking at and Alex, putting back his composure mask on, started to make his way downstairs as well.

\- We were waiting for you to arrive so we could discuss the renewals we're planning for the pub. - Alex said.

The others frowned at him.

\- Renewals? - Miles squinted his eyes at his friend.   
\- Yes, I mean. Look at that stage. It could use a... renewal. - Alex looked around for help.  
\- Yeah, like. We could add some... more... lights. - Jamie tried to help.  
\- _What is happening? -_ Nick mouthed at Alex.

Alex just shook his head.

\- Fellas, can we discuss this later? I'm not feeling too well to think about _renewals,_ now. Maybe later... or tomorrow. - Miles told his friends and sighed.  
\- It's alright, it's just a bunch of ideas we were having. No rush whatsoever. - Alex told Miles, patting his back.  
\- Ok.

He simply said before walking towards the bar and then to the room by the back of the pub.

He had been spending a lot of time there, lately.

\- What the hell was that? - Nick whispered to Alex once Miles had disappeared.  
\- I've got a... message. The dead woman is not Lil, it's somebody else. - Alex explained.   
\- A message? - Jamie asked.  
\- Yes. I can't say any more than that but Lil's fine. It's not this time we'll 'ave to break _that kind_ of news to Miles. - Alex said, relieved.  
\- Did she also tell you when she's coming back? - Nick asked Alex.  
\- No. She didn't. And she also didn't say anything about her current location. But if I'm being really honest, I don't think she'll be coming back here, for a while. - Alex said, shaking his head.  
\- At least she's not gone forever. I don't think I could take that. - Matt said, a bit lost in his thoughts.

Hidden around the corner, Miles was listening to the whole conversation.

 _If only she had listened to me._ He thought to himself while really walking to the room in the back, now.

**Present time, Japan.**

\- You meet her and take her to a safe place until there's an opportunity to flee Japan. They'll be watching all the ships for the next days so it's gonna be very tricky to board one. - Miles was talking to Caterine while she, Rolf and Miles himself made their way to the riverside where Hanae said the secret passage would end.  
\- Isn't it better if Rolf does it? I mean, he knows more about fighting than I do. - She said.  
\- No, I'm staying with Miles. - Rolf said.  
\- It can't be a fight. You and Kayoko will have to move like shadows until she's safe and you can part ways. If you 'ave to kill someone, you'll do that without gathering any attention.

The three friends sighed at the same time.

\- Your part is gonna be the most complicated, Caterine. I'm sorry. - Miles said, looking at Caterine from the corner of his eye.   
\- I can do it. Don't worry. If it's all about not drawing attention, then I've got it.  
\- I'm gonna miss you. - Rolf said.

Caterine looked at him when she could sense sincerity on the inflection of what he had just said.

\- We all knew this mission would end. - Caterine said.   
\- Yeah. - Rolf agreed.   
\- Pretty soon we'll all be home, again. - Miles added.

By then they had arrived at the spot Kayoko Kamenashi was due to come out at some point.

They hid and stayed quiet.

A whole hour went by.

\- Can you hear? - Rolf asked the others, in a whisper.

Footsteps were approaching them.

\- Be ready. - Miles said, closing his fists _._

A few moments later, Kayoko came out of a crack on the wall. She inhaled sharply, shakily.

_Fresh air for the first time in forever._

_-_ Mrs. Kamenashi? - Caterine asked, still hidden.

Kayoko was looking around.

\- _You're safe_. - Miles said. The three friends coming out of their hiding spots, now.  
\- _Mr. Kane. -_ Kayoko said, cracking a huge smile at Miles.   
\- _Hello, my dear. -_ Miles said, also smiling at Kayoko.

His heart much lighter, now.

So light that he swore he would start laughing out loud if the occasion allowed.

\- _Thank you. -_ She told him.  
\- _It's alright. Where's Hanae? -_ Miles asked Kayoko.  
 _\- She took my place back at the house... Told me you're gonna rescue her._  
 _\- Yes. I just have to know where's the spot the people back at the house, bury their bodies. -_ Miles said.  
 _\- I'm sorry? -_ Kayoko frowned a bit at him.  
 _\- So we can... She didn't tell you the whole plan, did she? -_ Miles asked Kayoko, closing his eyes for a bit.

Already knowing what she was gonna say.

 _\- I think she did but she never mentioned anyone dying. -_ Kayoko said.  
 _\- It'll look like she's dead so they're gonna bury her and then we'll have to dig her up before she really dies. -_ Miles explained to Kayoko what Hanae hadn't.  
 _\- There is no such thing as burying bodies, here. -_ Kayoko said.   
_\- They're gonna burn her?_  
 _\- No. Burning is only for some of us. They're gonna chain her to something heavy and throw her into the sea._  
 _\- What?_  
 _\- Yes._

Miles took a step back, putting his hands on his head.

\- What's wrong? - Rolf asked.   
\- They're not gonna bury her. They're gonna throw her into the sea.  
\- But... she'll drown. - Caterine said, a bit alarmed.  
\- We have to get to her as soon as they leave with her body. - Rolf told Miles.  
\- _From which side do they leave when carrying bodies? -_ Miles asked Kayoko _._  
 _\- It used to be the left wing._  
 _\- Used to be?_  
 _\- Yes, it's been a long time since I've heard anything about a dead body so maybe it changed. I don't think so, but it's a possibility._  
 _\- Alright, alright. Look, we've ain't got more time to lose so you'll have to go, now. Caterine will take you out of this country, she'll make sure you're safe. I've only got one thing to ask you._  
 _\- Anything._  
 _\- You kill him. -_ Miles told Kayoko, looking into her eyes.   
_\- You didn't even have to ask._

Miles and Kayoko hugged before she walked towards Caterine so the both of them could leave.

Rolf grabbed Caterine's hand before she walked away.

She turned her head to look at him.

\- Will I be seeing you again? - He asked, not really looking at her.

Maybe he was scared of what she was going to say.

But she didn't say anything.

Caterine approached Rolf and kissed him very lightly on his lips.

 _Yes_. It's what she meant.

After Kayoko and Caterine disappeared into the night, Miles and Rolf where left with another problem in their hands.

A sharp-teethed danger.

_———————————————————————_

\- Something is wrong. - Suki whispered to herself after having another coughing fit.

She just wanted to be discharged from that boring hospital.

Her eyes fell upon Austin sleeping on the armchair. He had put on a show about not wanting to leave his mother alone and so Suki managed to convince the nurses to let him spend the night there with her.

But now morning had come and Austin would have to go.

Suki was well caught up in her thoughts when a nurse entered the room.

\- Good morning, Mrs. Kane.  
\- Good morning.   
\- I've come to check up on you and bring your meds. Somebody from the kitchen will bring your breakfast in a few. I made sure they'd bring something for your boy, too.  
\- Thank you so much. - Suki smiled a bit at the nurse, who just nodded.  
\- Well, how are you feeling?  
\- I can breathe a bit better. I'm still coughing but I still have some of the medicine the other doctor prescribed, at home, so when I get there I—  
\- I'm sorry Mrs. Kane, but you won't be leaving today. Your symptoms are still too strong and you need to stay under observation.

Suki blinked a bunch of times.

\- What? - She asked, at last.  
\- I'm sorry.   
\- But... - Suki looked at Austin, again. - I can't stay, I mean, I have to take Austin home and... I can't.  
\- He's a smart kid. I'm sure he and his father can handle a few days without you.  
\- What?

Suki's heart started to race.

_Is Miles back?_

\- Yes, it's all gonna be fine. Your husband went home but he told us he'd come back to check up on you this morning.  
\- Oh, no. That's not my... Thomas is my neighbor. My husband is not in the city, currently. - Suki said, shaking her head while she remembered she had told Thomas the whole truth about how she and Austin ended up in Canada.

_What if he's gone to the police?_

Unconsciously, Suki got up from her bed.

\- Please, Mrs. Lie back down, you can't—

But before the nurse could resume her line, Suki's knees had failed her and she was on the floor. Scared and confused.

The nurse helped her off the floor and back to the bed.

\- What's happening to me? - Suki asked the woman who was looking at her with so much pity in her eyes.   
\- You need to rest. - The woman said as she adjusted the blankets over Suki's body, again. - Only that way you'll be fine. Take your meds. - She said, giving Suki a small cup with some pills inside of it. - and rest.

Suki was feeling her legs shaking from the effort of standing up.

\- This can't be happening to me right now. - Suki whispered before she chased the pills with sips of water.  
\- It's gonna be alright. Just do as the doctor says.

The nurse left the room and it was filled with silence.

Suki closed her eyes and tried to calm down a bit. She started to feel sleepy.

She turned to lie on her side so she could keep on looking at her son until she'd fallen asleep.

Someone knocked on the bedroom door and pushed it open.

Cautious steps made their way towards Suki's bed.

\- Hey.

Thomas greeted Suki when her eyes fell upon him.

\- You're back. - She said, not really looking at Thomas' face. - Where's the police?   
\- I came to see how you're doing. There's no police. - Thomas said, slightly moving his head from side to side.   
\- I'm fine. - She mumbled. - Gonna go home soon.  
\- I've spoken to a doctor before I walked in here and that's not what he told me. - Thomas called Suki out.

She was silently weeping, now.

\- I don't know what to do. - She said, wiping a tear away.

In his armchair, Austin moved but didn't wake up.

\- I feel I won't be able to keep up with this but I have to. - She continued, in a whisper. - I have to but I don't know how.   
\- I went to the library and did a little research. - Thomas started. - Some old newspapers from about ten years ago...

Suki finally turned her attention to Thomas.

\- What I mean is that I don't care about what happened. I'm an observer, remember? If you were a bad person I would have noticed it by now. Of course I would have never thought about you being involved into what you're involved but... - Thomas shrugged. - I'm a complete stranger to you but I'd like to help you, if you let me.

Suki knew she didn't have much choice.

\- How are you helping?   
\- I can take care of Austin, for starters. I'd have taken him home, yesterday, but I figured we had to have this talk, before.  
\- I get a little nervous when we're separated. - Suki told Thomas.

She would never not get nervous about being away from her son.

\- Specially now that someone could be chasing him. - She whispered.

It was risky to talk about those things with Austin in the room.

\- That's exactly why he can't be alone, now. He could take Tiny to my house and stay there with me for as long as you're here.   
\- I think it's... I think it could work. If you really don't mind, that is. - Suki was feeling so sleepy, now.  
\- No, I don't mind. I know you don't, right now, you don't trust me but I'm willing to try to make you. Everything will be alright.   
\- You have no idea how much lighter I feel, now. - She said. Her eyes already closed.  
\- It's alright. Rest.

Thomas meant to push Suki's hair out of her face but refrained himself of doing so.

He walked towards Austin, instead.

\- Hey, Oz. - He touched the boy's forehead, gently waking him up.  
\- Mr. Horowitz, hi.

Austin yawned and stretched his arms.

Pushed the blanket off of him.

Looked at his mother.

\- She's sleeping. - Thomas said, putting a finger over his own lips.   
\- Is she ok? - Austin asked Thomas.  
\- Yes. I talked to her before she fell asleep, she's feeling a bit better. - Thomas nodded at Austin. - But she can't go home yet so she told me I could take you home with me and you'll stay there until she leaves here. We can swing by your house and bring Tiny home along with us. What do you say?  
\- Are you sure? I mean, about mom telling you that?   
\- Yes, I'm sure. Why? Something wrong?  
\- Mom's never let me go to anyone's house besides aunt Alexa's. - Austin explained.  
\- I see. Where does your aunt live, then?   
\- I don't exactly know... She's moved. - Austin gulped upon remembering what his mother had told him about Aiden.   
\- Then that's why your mom told me you could come with me. Your aunt is not around and you can't be on your own.  
\- I know.   
\- Alright. So we're gonna leave, now. We're gonna stop at that diner by the end of the main street to have breakfast and then we're gonna swing by your house to grab the things you'll need to stay at my place, and also Tiny. Does that sound good?  
\- Sounds like a plan, yeah.   
\- Let's get going.

Even though she was sleeping, Suki could still feel something was wrong. She was having nightmares and in them, she was running through the woods and she'd fall into a trap.

Over and over.

Over Miles' body.

_———————————————————————_

_-_ There's still so many hours until the sun is up. - Rolf thought aloud.  
\- It rises faster if you're not paying attention to it. - Miles said, looking up at the sky.   
\- Do you think we're at the right spot?   
\- I hope so. - Miles felt shivers going down his spine.   
\- If only she hadn't decided to act alone. But still she did it, she managed to set Kayoko free. Something that we thought would be so complicated to do.   
\- Yeah. But maybe it was simple because no one thought someone would be cheeky enough to pull this stunt. - Miles said. - Yet, something intrigues me... Hanae seems to know a lot about the inner works of that place.   
\- Well, we sent her out to investigate. - Rolf shrugged. - Surely she would find out about lots of things.   
\- It's not that. Those aren't the kind of details you find out about being only five days into an investigation. I mean, you could do it but Hanae's got no experience.   
\- But what matters is that she managed to get Kayoko out.  
\- And now we have to break her out. She's lied to me, once. What if she's trying to lure us in for some reason unknown to us?   
\- I don't think so, Miles. I really don't think so. I know you've been feeling like the World's out to get you since we got here but Hanae's not it. I can just feel it. What did she lie to you about?  
\- She didn't tell me when it was reported that Kazuya had left Paris. I confronted her about it and she told me that it was because she was tired of being alone and didn't want me to "go away". As if my son's life didn't depend on what we're doing, now.   
\- That's why she put that bit on the letter where she talks about not being selfish.  
\- Yes. - Miles nodded. - Atonement.   
\- I think that, to some extent, she's doing it right. - Rolf said.

They stayed quiet for a while.

\- So... you and Caterine. - Miles smiled a bit, looking at his cousin.

Rolf looked away.

\- What is it? - Miles asked, laughing a bit. - What is it, eh? - He playfully punched Rolf's arm. - You've never been the one to be shy. Spill the beans, now. Come on.   
\- I just... - Rolf was scratching his arm. Not looking at Miles. - What a hell of a woman. - Rolf said, chuckling a bit. - At first I was just teasing her for fun but then we started those get togethers to study Japanese at your cabin on the ship and I kind of... I'd feel restless until she'd show up. Then we got separated but I managed to find her. All I could think about was her and how I'm used to having her around. I plotted something so we'd kiss and it worked. And now _she_ kissed _me_ before she left. I figure she and I can make it work, if she wants to, of course.  
\- All I 'ave to say is: go for it. I confess I didn't think you'd get along, at first, but maybe you're just the comic relief she needs. - Miles joked.  
\- "Comic relief", right.  
\- No, but yeah, I'm really glad about you two. For real.   
\- Thanks, mate. Oh, I'm dying for a cig, now.  
\- Me too...

Both were hiding, waiting at the spot Kazuya's people would have to pass by with Hanae's body.

\- Cousin, we haven't got guns, we haven't got knifes... We're about to fight God knows how many people with our bare hand so if something goes wrong I just want you to know that I'm really grateful for everything you've ever done for me. You could've just said "no" and stayed safe, back home. But here you are, waiting to retrieve a dead-alive body with me.  
\- My blood. - Rolf squeezed Miles arm. - I never run from an adventure. - Rolf looked away, smiling a bit. - And if I hadn't come I wouldn't have met Cat, so... Maybe I'll even name one of our kids after you. - Rolf joked.  
\- Thinking about the offspring, already. You are fast!   
\- Life's too short to wait too long.

Just like Miles had told Rolf, the Sun does rise faster if you're not paying attention to it. Suddenly it was morning and now Miles and Rolf had a clear view of the path a very important action would take place at a certain moment in time.

The air was blowing very softly and the breeze seemed to be caressing the skin of all people alive in Kyoto.

It was six-thirty in the morning when Rolf and Miles saw a convoy of people, in the distance.

Anytime, now. _Miles thought to himself._

Four men were carrying a body wrapped up in what looked like a sheet. Behind them came other man, carrying a small iron ball.

\- Do you think we can manage it? - Rolf asked Miles.  
\- If we don't, we die.

Rolf and Miles waited until the convoy had walked past them and attacked them from behind.

Rolf tackled the man with the iron ball and smashed his head with it.

Miles punched one of the men who were carrying Hanae's body and it was when the four men remaining took notice of what was going on.

And of course they fought back.

Rolf managed to knock yet another man out with the iron ball before he was disarmed by a third man and the other two had teamed up against Miles.

It was time to Rolf to make a decision.

\- Get the fuck away from here! - Miles yelled at Rolf while he got beat up.

The iron ball had rolled down the hill so there wasn't anything Rolf could do to retrieve it and help Miles. He'd have to fight the men with his bare hands, too, but if the both cousins got caught then who would save Hanae?

Rolf grabbed the piece of rope that was tied around Hanae's ankle and pushed her towards him. He put her in his arms and started to run away to a safer place.

Somewhere he could wait for her to wake up in her own time.

\- _It's over for you, you fuckers! -_ Miles laughed at the men in front of him before another fist hit him in his stomach.

_It doesn't matter anymore._

He managed to knock out yet another man but there was still the other two and Miles was tired. He had been punched in his face and his head was pounding. There was blood getting into his eyes, blurring his sight.

It was time for the curtain call.

Miles stopped fighting and, for the second time in his life, he surrendered. He fell on his knees but had a victorious smile on his face; he had achieved his goal.

Kayoko was free.

Kazuya was about to be taken down.

It was only a matter of time, now.

 _\- Get up! -_ One of the men ordered.   
\- _First of all, I've surrendered so you can stop kicking me, now. -_ Miles said, with his typical mockery. - _Second: I'm too tired to walk. Wouldn't you carry me?_

That only made Miles get kicked in his ribs, again.

\- _If you break the glass of my pocket watch I'm gonna break your fucking nose. Be warned._  
 _\- You're not in position to be warning anyone about anything, right now. Who the fuck do you think you are?_  
 _\- My name is Miles Kane. -_ Miles got up from the floor, running his fingers through his hair and spitting a bit of blood on the ground. The two men exchanged a look. - _Now, who the fuck are_ you _?_

_———————————————————————_

At what seemed to be the last safe place, under a big rock at the beach, Rolf had unwrapped Hanae from what supposed to be her pall.

His muscles were aching from having carried her so far away from the spot he and Miles had retrieved her body. His nose was bleeding.

As Caterine thought, it didn't take long for Hanae to wake up. If she had really been buried, she'd have suffocated by then.

\- Rolf? - She called in a tiny voice. Her head was pounding.   
\- Hey! You're up, how are you feeling?  
\- Dizzy. - She said, looking around. - Where are we? Where's Miles?  
\- We're in a safe place. At least for now.

The waves were dying loudly on the shore.

The sound felt like a sad orchestra.

\- Where's Miles? - Hanae asked again, looking at Rolf's face.   
\- He didn't make it. - Rolf shook his head.  
\- They killed him?   
\- Not yet. Actually, I don't know how it ended. It was the two of us against five guys. I managed to kill one and knock out another one but the remaining ones teamed up against Miles and I had to leave with your or we would all end up dead and it'd all have been for nothing.   
\- Where did they bury me?   
\- They didn't. They were gonna chain an iron ball to your ankles and throw you in the sea. Kayoko told us that's how they do it, now.   
\- What about her? Did she manage to escape?   
\- Yes. Caterine is taking care of her. They should be out of the country as soon as possible.   
\- That at least...   
\- Yes. You made it. Thank you for that, even though it was the most stupid thing you could have done, it still worked.   
\- We have to go look for Miles.   
\- There could be people looking for us. We have to stay here at least until nighttime so we can move to another place. I don't even know where. Besides, - Rolf moved to sit in front of Hanae so he could look into her eyes. - Miles was captured, it's over for him. Even if we could go back in there to look for him, it's just the two of us against at least a hundred blokes.

Hanae meant to look the other way but Rolf put both hands on her cheeks and made her turn her head to him, again.

\- Kayoko is free, she'll get to Kazuya and then Miles' family will be left alone. Everything according to plan. - Rolf continued. - Miles knew that being captured, or killed, was one of the many risks we were taking when we decided, still back in Florida, to come to Japan and free Kazuya' sister. The mission is over, Hanae.   
\- We can't leave him there!   
\- I'm not even sure he's there. I think they already killed him and threw him into the sea.  
\- Why would they? He's Kazuya's arch enemy and now Kayoko is missing. In order to— Hanae paused for a moment for she was sure something had just exploded inside her head. - In order to protect Kazuya, they'll try to make Miles' talk. He's their only source to find out how Kayoko escaped and where she's off to.  
\- You're sounding just like Cat. - Rolf frowned a bit at Hanae. - How did you come to this conclusion?  
\- I spent the whole night thinking about every possibility, every dead end, every... thing. I was too afraid to just relax... I started to overthink. Maybe you may think I'm just a dumb prostitute but I'm not.  
\- I've never said that. I've never even thought about you as of anything else but a woman. - Rolf protested. - It is just curious how you, never having had contact with the world of the espionage, the mafia or its shenanigans, will come to these types of conclusions.   
\- I know about the Yakuza, more than what you think I do.   
\- So you're sure they didn't kill Miles?  
\- Yes, I'm sure. They'll only kill him after Kayoko gets to Kazuya, because once Kazuya's dead, there's no use to keep Miles as a hostage, then.   
\- Yes, exactly. You're right so listen up; if we're doing this we have to do it the right way. We have to plan everything, think about all of those dead ends you were just talking about. Only then we'll be able to get in there, find Miles, grab him and take him out. If we don't plan it, you and I are gonna die, too. And I don't wanna die. I have to go back home and marry the hell out of Caterine so you better agree with or I won't back you up on this.

Rolf lied.

He'd never abandon his cousin if there was a chance he was still alive.

\- Yes, I agree with you. But we'll have to move fast since there's no way we can get updates on Kayoko's location.   
\- We need a place to stay and some backup, if we manage to find some men wanting to risk their lives for some money.   
\- I know a place and I happen to have a few favors to call upon.

 _Then Miles was right about keeping you, after all._ Rolf thought to himself.

\- Then all we have to do now is plan. We're gonna break Miles out. - Rolf told Hanae.

They nodded at each other.


	21. Interlude

On the backseat of your car, lies an irrational fear.

Its fingers sticky like tar.

The fear is me, the car is your heart.

And a girl strums thunders on her guitar.

A deafening, sharp, sound.

And my feeble attempts to make you feel something, they'll never be as profound as I'd wish them to be.

Nothing but a plume aiming to scratch a diamond.

And my mind's not in order.

The thoughts come in flocks, out the holes of my ears.

Through the pores of my skin.

And I fail.

You never looked back at the backseat of your car.

Never saw me there.

And I've rotten and died, on the wait to become yet another part of you.


	22. Friend

\- Surrender!  
\- Never!

**1923, Florida.**

\- If you remain so stubborn then I'm breaking off our engagement! - Lil said while Miles watched her legs dressed in knee socks, run around the living room to hide behind the sofa.   
\- Wait, are you serious? - Miles asked, coming out of the corner he was hiding and frowning at Lil.  
\- A bit too much? I'm sorry, it was just... - She shook her head, smiling a bit at his confusion and at the fact he really believed she could ever break their engagement off. - But it just gave me the perfect opportunity to shoot you! - She said, aiming her gun at him.

It wasn't loaded.

\- That was a low blow! - He complained, hiding again before she could "shoot".

He heard her gun clicking a couple of times.

\- Damn it, you're fast! - She faked a complaint.

Miles laughed.

Someone knocked at the door of Miles' house.

Lil and Miles exchanged a look but she managed to get to the door before he could do it.

\- Alex! - She said, flashing a big smile at her friend, who seemed confused upon the sight in front of him.  
\- _You shouldn't open th_ e _door without asking who's it, first! You lost!_ \- Miles' voice was heard coming from some other part of the living room.   
\- Meh! - She replied, sticking her tongue at Miles.  
\- Why is there a stocking tied around your head? - Alex asked Lil, cocking his head to the side, a bit.  
\- Miles and I are on a dispute over something so we decided to play a little game. - She told Alex, untying the stocking and putting it on the pocket of Miles' shirt she was wearing.   
\- Don'ttell him what we're "fighting" about, though. - Miles said, approaching Lil from her left side. He took the gun off of her hand and kissed her neck very briefly. - But I won.   
\- Could you two just... get a room or something? And why the hell are you playing with guns. - Alex asked, taking both Miles' and Lil's guns out of Miles' hand.  
\- Well, technically we 'ave a whole house to ourselves, you're just interrupting. - Miles said in a cynical manner. - And they're not even loaded.

Lil scoffed.

\- Miles! We could _use_ him to play the hostage! - She told Miles, suddenly having that idea.   
\- What? - Alex asked. Getting more and more confused by the minute.   
\- That'd be giving him too much information.

Lil and Miles just turned their attention to Alex and kept staring at him for almost a whole minute.

\- Stop staring at me, it's making me uncomfortable. - Alex complained, giving both guns back to Miles. - I swear to God that I can't with you two since you've got engaged.  
\- Don't mention the engagement, she was just threatening to break it off. - Miles said, shushing Alex.

Alex was tired of being played like that. Miles and Lil were _clearly_ mocking him in their own way.

\- A'ight, I'm leaving. Stop by the pub when—

But then Lil attacked Alex and started to tickle him.

\- HAHAHAHA, WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?   
\- I'm making you surrender! - She said, also laughing.

Miles was laughing, too.

\- Now you're going to give me all the information I want! Tell me! Where are the family jewels? - She asked Alex.  
\- Wh— HAHAHAHAA- What!?   
\- Tell me all about it!   
\- Miles, heeee— help me! - Alex looked at Miles. Lil was almost managing to get him down on his knees by weakening them with her tickling attack.  
\- As if I could do something. - Miles replied. - Love, I'll put the kettle on. - He told Lil.  
\- And get some biscuits, too. This hostage is staying with us for a while until he talks! - She said, laughing along with Alex, who had fallen down to his knees, by now.

But they never told Alex what they were arguing about, on the first place, and also not how that was going to affect their future children together.

Whether one of them would be really named after Alex's mother or not.

 **1933, Japan**.

\- _You know... I've been through so much shit in this life that nothing you do could really, really, really make me wanna die. So I'm just telling you, as a friendly warning, to spare the effort. Maybe use your time to learn English, how about that? -_ Miles was saying to the man guarding the door of the damp room he was being kept in. - _And by the way, this shackles are shitty._  
 _\- Shut up._  
 _\- Or what?_

Miles was so high on relief that nothing really mattered to him, anymore. He was toying with his guards as if they were mere puppets.

_He was toying with the Yakuza men as if they were a bunch of puppets._

Kazuya would be dead in a couple of months, at the maximum, and then he'd die too. But at least he'd die knowing his family would never have to run away.

Ever again.

And also; he had been shackled to a wall after being tied but freeing himself from the knots around his wrists, over and over, and annoying the guard and getting punched in his nose on the process, too.

 _\- No, but really. Or the fucking what, I ask you. You can't kill me, you can't hurt me too much so I won't be conscious to give you the information you want. You can't break my ribs because this room is so fucking damp that it could cause me to contract pneumonia and so I'd die and going back to item one; you can't kill me._  
 _\- Not yet. -_ The man said, turning his head to look at Miles' shadow on the wall.   
\- _Not never. I'll be dead before any of you could put your fucking dirty hands on me._  
 _\- You're just the worst hostage of all time._  
 _\- Finally, we can agree on something! That being said, why don't you unchain me? It's really boring to stay shackled to a wall. You could get us a deck of cards and we could play a bit of poker. Of course I'm guaranteed to strip you off your money but it's still going to be fun for you, I promise._  
 _\- Shut up._  
 _\- You're afraid to lose. Back in the States we have this city called Las Vegas and—_

Miles heard the door being unlocked and the silhouette of a tall man making its way into the room.

 _\- Leave us alone, Sao. -_ The man said.  
 _\- No, you can stay, Sao. Interesting name, by the way. I mean, there's nothing this guy will tell me that you don't know already._

The boy really stopped in his tracks because of the permission to stay that Miles had just given him.

\- _What are you doing? -_ The tall man asked Sao.

And then shot him.

\- _No! It took me five fucking days for us to start bonding and then you kill my only friend like that? -_ Miles complained. - _How inconsiderate of you!_  
 _\- Whatever you thought you were doing, it ends right now. -_ The man said, walking towards Miles.   
_\- I'll decide that when you show me you methods of torture. I've had Al Capone step on my throat and look at that fucking bastard, now. And besides, I'm numb on a few areas of my—_

Miles stopped talking when the man caused a big wave of electricity to run through Miles' body. He bit his tongue, almost convulsing.

\- _This isn't a game. For now this is only a taste of what I'm gonna bring upon you. But let me warn you. -_ The man approached his face to Miles', who had blood running down his chin due to his half-bitten-off tongue. Their noses almost touching. - _Things are just about to get worse and if I can't wreck your body, I'm gonna wreck your mind until you're on your knees, begging to be killed._

Miles spat on the face on the man in front of him.

His cynical manners dead for a minute.

\- _Good luck._

He locked eyes with the other man.

The pain on his tongue was nearing the unbearable.

\- _I've never needed luck in my whole life._  
 _\- You'll need it when you walk in here without this shock thing._

The tall man scoffed.

\- _In no time you'll see that it doesn't matter how many bravados you put up, you're nothing but a tiny, broken, blind man who believes to be so powerful. Get ready, Miles. You'll miss this little pain when I really start with you._

The man walked out of Miles' room, leaving him alone with his former guard's body.

Said body that wasn't removed until two whole weeks later.

———————————————————————

\- Tiny, roll!

The dog just stayed still, looking at Austin and Thomas.

\- She won't do it. - Austin clicked his tongue.  
\- Too many commands for her to learn at once. Don't push her too hard. - Thomas told Austin, grabbing the dog's leash from his hand.   
\- I'll try to be patient. Mom's always telling me to be patient, anyways.  
\- Patience is a virtue, you'll learn it over time but it's never too soon to start. - Thomas nodded at Austin.  
\- Sometimes I get tired of waiting...  
\- What is it that you've been waiting for?   
\- I don't think my dad is ever coming back. - Austin said, looking at Thomas. - Mom says he's off to deal with some important stuff but...   
\- But...?

Austin fell silent for a few minutes.

\- I think he's dead. Or he simply left us and then mom has been telling me why we had to come here but it's actually all... lies.   
\- I understand that you're upset and I've no say in this matter because I've never met your father.

_Even though I read about everything he's done, on the newspapers._

_-_ But I don't think your mother would lie to you, Oz. - Thomas told Austin, inviting him to sit on a fallen tree, by his side. - I don't have children of my own but I can imagine, and I can see, how hard it must be for your mother to be raising you by herself and, honestly, I can see she's doing her best.   
\- I know she is. I just feel hurt about dad, I wish I knew what is really happening. Where he is.  
\- You're growing up and you're smart. If there's something you should know, it won't take much longer for you to know it. Just trust your mother and everything will be fine.  
\- I miss my cousin. I miss my aunt. I miss Florida, I miss our house and the stupid piano dad doesn't allow me to get near. I miss my school. I miss the boardwalk.  
\- I thought you had liked the snow.  
\- I did, but it got boring, now.

Austin had a hurt expression painted on his face.

\- I can see it's hard for you and I'm sorry about it. But since you're here, why don't we try to look at the facts a bit differently? I mean, you've got to meet new people, there's that ice cream shop you like, you've got a dog... Everything's not lost.   
\- I'm thankful for Tiny. She's with me all the time so I never feel truly alone like it used to be when mom and I first ran away.  
\- You didn't run away, you—  
\- It's alright, she told me _we did_ run away. You don't have to lie or hide that from me.   
\- Mhmm... What else did your mom tell you?   
\- She told me not to tell you anything. - Austin said, looking at Thomas' face.   
\- I understand. She's not wrong to be careful. I could be one of the bad guys.  
\- But now you're her boyfriend, I—  
\- What? - Thomas interrupted Austin.   
\- Well, you've been to our house every day since mom came back from the hospital and you've slept there one night.  
\- I slept in your room. - Thomas frowned at Austin. - And I've been to your house every day because your mother still has to rest and she told me about the... thing that happened to your cousin and how worried she got. I figured I could help out. In fact, she told me, when she recovers, you're going away, again.   
\- What!?

_Uh oh_

Thomas' words got stuck.

\- What did she tell you? We can't go away, again! I don't want to go any farther away from home, this is already far away enough!  
\- Oz, calm down. I think I'm mistaken, I—  
\- And now you're lying, too!

Austin got up from the tree and picked Tiny up, unwrapping her leash from Thomas' hand.

He started walking away from Thomas.

\- Oz! Austin, wait! Please, I'm sorry. Hey, listen up. - Thomas ran after Austin, making him stop.   
\- I thought we would stay here with you.   
\- Listen, I promise I'll do everything I can to convince your mom not to leave but you have to understand that if she feels you need to go, it's because you really need to go. Your mother knows best, don't get upset at her.   
\- What can you do?  
\- I don't know yet. I've read some things about your father, on some old papers, and I know I'm not as good or as cool as him, I've never been on a band, but I promise I'll do my best. And one day you may ask why I'm doing this, I can tell you that's because I've been a kid, too. And as a kid I wouldn't like to live on the run, I didn't go with my parents when they moved away to the next city, let alone go away to another country, so I get you. I get you and I'll do my best to help you.   
\- Thank you. - Austin whispered to Thomas, feeling a little less scared.   
\- You're welcome, bud. - Thomas smiled a comforting smile at Austin. - Now I'd like to ask you something.  
\- Yeah?  
\- Let's not tell your mother about this talk we've had. She's sick, doesn't need yet another thing to worry about. I'll talk to her when it's time, alright?  
\- Ok. I trust you.

Thomas just nodded at Austin.

\- Should we head back home? - Thomas asked Austin.   
\- Yeah. I think Tiny is kinda tired, by now.   
\- You carry her or I carry her?   
\- I'll carry her, it's fine.

Austin and Thomas made their way back to the Kanes house.

\- Mom, we're back! - Austin announced after he had closed the door behind him and Thomas. He put Tiny down.

Both heard Suki's footsteps approaching.

\- Hi! How was the training, today? - Suki asked, smiling at her son.   
\- It was fine. - Austin simply replied. He sounded a bit tired.   
\- Just _fine?_ \- Suki asked.  
\- Yeah, she's doing fine.  
\- Austin was trying to teach her how to roll but it didn't happen yet. - Thomas backed Austin up.  
\- Oh. I bet she'll learn it soon enough. She already knows a lot of commands. - Suki told Austin.  
\- Exactly. - Thomas remarked.  
\- Yeah, I think so... Anyway, I'm gonna take a shower.

Austin walked away while his mother followed him with her eyes.

\- Something happened? - Suki asked Thomas.  
\- Uh? No.   
\- Are you sure?  
\- Yes, I'm sure. He was complaining about being tired... maybe he didn't sleep well. - Thomas shrugged, trying to justify Austin's behaviour without having to tell Suki the truth.  
\- Yes, he was a bit restless last night...  
\- How are you feeling? - Thomas asked, changing the focus of the conversation.   
\- I'm feeling much better. Thank you.  
\- That's great news.   
\- I'm dying to get back into the kitchen. I've had so many ideas, so many recipes! I figured maybe I could cook something, today.  
\- Are you sure? I mean, you're only getting better because you're resting like you've been told to.  
\- I know. But I really need to do something other than spending the day in bed or I'll go insane!   
\- I understand how that feels but...  
\- It's not gonna be anything too elaborate, just something for you and Austin to eat for lunch.   
\- About that—  
\- Because of course you must be hungry after spending the whole morning running out there. - Suki said, already rushing into the kitchen.

Thomas followed her.

\- So I— Thomas started to say and again, he was interrupted by Suki.  
\- Do you remember what we've had for dinner the first time I invited you for dinner?   
\- Wasn't it duck?   
\- Yeah. I won't be making that because it takes to long, I was just reminiscing.

Thomas laughed a bit.

\- You're just babbling so I won't scold you for being up and running the kitchen.   
\- It's too easy to read me, isn't it? - Suki asked Thomas, scratching her nape.

A habit she had acquired from Miles.

\- I think so. - Thomas shrugged.

They smiled a bit at each other.

\- But I'd feel better if you could go back to resting as soon as possible. - He added.  
\- Yeah, right. What do you think about some spaghetti and meatballs?   
\- If you cooked a rock it'd be tasty.

Suki laughed.

\- Miles used to say that. - She said, in a tiny voice. Lost in her own thoughts.  
\- He's been always right. - Thomas said, trying to cheer up the mood a bit.  
\- If you say so.

Both Suki and Thomas stayed silent for a while.

\- Of course I... - Thomas started. - Will keep on helping you out, now and for as long as you need, but I don't think I should be spending so much time around here.

Suki just kept looking at him.

\- I mean, Austin told me something that got me thinking.   
\- I hope he wasn't mean to you or he's gotten himself into trouble. - Suki said.  
\- No, nothing like that. - Thomas dismissed Suki's accusations regarding Austin. - It's just that he blatantly told me now I am your "boyfriend" because I've been spending so much time here and even slept here on the first night you came back from the hospital, it's got me thinking what other people should be... I mean, I don't want to put you in a bad place.

Suki kept thinking about what to say back to Thomas.

\- Thomas, you're the only one here who knows a lot of _things_ there's to know about me and still you chose to stay. You chose to help me. A stranger. I'm so beyond thankful for that. Without you, I'd probably have ran away with Austin, again, and for sure I'd have died, and it's only now that I can see it because I calmed down enough to put thought into my actions. You kept my son safe while I could barely breathe on a hospital bed so fuck the people. If there's one thing that I've learned is that people _will_ talk whether you're doing it right or wrong.  
\- I know. People have started so many rumors about why I live alone, why I never married anyone, why I didn't move away with my parents, why this, why that... And that's exactly because I'm the target of so many rumors that I don't know if it's good for you, to have me around you.  
\- If you tell me your version of "why" then I really don't care what people say about you. Thomas, I've been through this before. At the very beginning of my marriage, people would start a lot of rumours about Miles and I. They'd— Suki stopped talking and walked towards the kitchen's arch, to see if Austin wasn't there, listening to the conversation. He wasn't. Suki went back next to Thomas. She lowered her tone either way. - They'd say Miles and I killed his first wife so we could be together. They'd say _I_ killed her. They'd say I got pregnant because I was aiming for Miles' "fortune", even though I'm the sole heir of my father... People made up so much stories about us that we just agreed to never believe anything we heard about each other if it didn't come from our own mouths. And he told me it'd keep on happening and he wasn't wrong.   
\- That's awful.   
\- Yes. You can tell, yourself.  
\- Yes. Well... the real _why_ it's because by the time my parents moved I was twenty-two. I had just met a girl, her name was Sadie, we were in love and we agreed to run away together. Leave the country to live our lives together since her mother didn't want her to marry anyone. On the day we had agreed to run away she never showed up so I kept waiting and waiting. A week passed, and then it was a year, then two. I never heard from her again and I got so scared about the idea of falling in love with anyone else that even now, seventeen years later, I still live alone and still haven't forgotten about her. About what happened to her. It's very stupid, I know, but it's left a terrible mark on me and I can't seem to get rid of it.   
\- That's... I'm sorry, Thomas. - Suki had a sad frown on her face. - It's not stupid. Don't say that.   
\- I've never told anyone else about this. But now that I've told you it kinda feels like... taking off a heavy backpack.   
\- I can relate. But if my opinion counts; I don't think you should stop stopping by. You're very welcome to this house and you've become a dear friend to both Austin and I. And when Miles comes back I'm sure he'll like you, too.  
\- So you're not going away anymore? - Thomas asked, jumping on the subject Suki had just brought up.  
\- Things haven't changed, so far. I'll avoid making another big change unless there's a real threat upon us.   
\- That's great news.

Thomas nodded at Suki.

———————————————————————

\- It's been three whole weeks and we haven't made a move. - Rolf sighed, running his hand through his hair.  
\- I would've walked in there, already.   
\- You and I. What a fucking great army.   
\- We don't have to be an army, we just have to have a good plan. - Hanae told Rolf.

It was true.

\- And it's exactly a plan that we don't have.   
\- I can't see what we're missing. - Hanae said, sighing.  
\- It was easy for you to get in there because it was only you, dressed in a long ass robe with a hoodie.   
\- I had to get rid of the maid, in the first place.   
\- You bribed her off. I could never get in there and convince people I belong in there. I'm obviously not a Japanese and I don't speak Japanese. And now that you've managed to break Kayoko out, I'm sure they've enforced their protocol, they'll be triple-checking everything.  
\- I bet lots of people have died, in there. I mean, Kazuya doesn't allow any flaws, he must have ordered half of his "staff" got killed.   
\- This is not helping.   
\- Sorry, I was just thinking out loud...   
\- We have to do something.   
\- Nobody wants to go in there with us and we don't have the money to convince them. Lee is gone, his men are gone, half of them are dead and the whole country's mafia is a fucking mess. We'll have to do it by ourselves.   
\- We put our asses in danger to get you out, I'm not letting you in there again without a plan and I'm sure Miles would be pissed, too.  
\- We have two weeks, at the maximum, to get Miles out before Kayoko finds Kazuya. I don't think she'll be finding him right away but, like you said, he left France to hide away somewhere even farther away from here so it'd take Kayoko at least two months to find him, etc, etc, etc. But we can't be sure they're not killing Miles out of a whim.  
\- Right now we can only hope and keep on trying to think of a way we'll be getting in and out of there, with Miles. Alive.

———————————————————————

\- _Get up!_

By now, Miles had been reduced to half the man he had been since he had recovered from Lil's death.

\- _What, now? -_ Miles asked yet another one of his masked captors. - _What is it gonna be?_ \- He looked at the figure in front of him from behind his wrecked eyes.

In the course of three weeks, Miles had been submitted to all kinds of torture. They had stripped him to a chair, cut his teeth open to mess with its roots; causing an excruciating pain.

Had pinned his eyelids open. Had kept him hanging from a chain on his wrists for two whole days. Punched him repeatedly until he'd pass out. Starved him. Left him without water and kept injecting him with drugs so he wouldn't fall asleep until his body was on the brink of giving up.

Kept him in a room with a decaying body.

Told him about how his son had screamed while they killed his mother. But, despite those descriptions being terrifying, Miles never believed any of it. He knew, in his heart, that his son was fine. That Suki was never gonna let any of that happen to their boy.

Miles was skinny, his bones starting to show, his feet always cold. He often felt dizzy.

Yet not a single word about what his captors wanted to know, ever escaped Miles' mouth.

\- _We have something new for you, today. A gift straight from England._

Miles felt a shiver going down his spine.

_\- Is it another one of your stupid games? When will you accept the fact that I will never tell you where Kayoko is, even if I knew where she is? I will never tell you anything._   
_\- Let's see for how long "never" will last._

The man pulled Miles up, forcing him to stand up on his feet. Put a blindfold over his eyes.

Miles' bare feet walked all the way down and upstairs, for what it seemed to be a whole maze. Somewhere Miles was sure they had never taken him, before.

A final push made Miles stumble and fall on his chest.

\- _Take the blindfold off. -_ A voice commanded.  
\- _Have you ever stopped to think that if I didn't speak Japanese, it'd be very hard to torture me?_  
 _-_ That wouldn't be a problem. - The same voice said, now in English.  
\- What is happening? - A third voice asked.

Miles finally reached for his blindfold, taking it off to reveal another caucasian man, in front of him. His hands tied.

\- Who the fuck are you, now? - Miles frowned.   
\- I don't know why I'm here. - The man told Miles.  
\- Why don't you introduce yourselves to each other? No? Well. - The captor said, grabbing Miles' shoulder and dragging him back. - Miles, meet your very own _Alexander Turner_. I think the middle name isn't the same, it'd be too much of a coincidence, but we managed to bring this specimen _just_ for you. Three weeks gave us just the right amount of time we needed to orchestrate this meeting.

As the man spoke, another twenty—or it could be fifty—men seemed to come out of the walls, surrounding both Alexander and Miles.

The latter was too shocked to say anything.

\- Our friend here was imprisoned in Russia so you really don't have to worry about killing "an innocent man", as you so pathetically worry about so very often.   
\- Kill? - Miles asked, stuttering a bit.

He couldn't look anything else but to the man in front of him. His eyes glued to that stranger with such a familiar name.

That took his mind back to Florida.

Back to Aiden. Back to Alexa.

Back to _happiness_.

\- Oh, you're slow. - The captor said. - You've irritated us to the point we thought of giving you a warning, Miles. You think your life is ever so valuable... you're about to find out it is not. If you keep on pushing too hard...  
\- What is happening? What—NO! LET GO OF ME! LET— Alexander screamed while two men got a hold of him and injected something on his neck.   
\- What have you done to him? - Miles asked, looking back at one of his many masked captors.  
\- Relax. We've just induced a little mania. You see, our friend _Alex_ gets really violent from time to time. No wonder why he'd been arrested.

The captor said, taking off his mask.

It turned out to be the same tall man who killed Sao and promised to turn Miles' life into a living Hell.

Miles turned his attention back to the man in front of him, just when it started.

To the contrary to what Miles believed a Roman arena would sound like, the room he would have to gladiate Alex to death was completely _silent_.

A silence so loud it was almost deafening.

The man in front of Miles was now twisting his hands like he was having a seizure. As soon as it stopped, the man's eyes focused on Miles, who had never seen someone so thirsty for blood, in his life, ever before.

Alex made a move to try to grab Miles but, at first, Miles moved away from him every time the man tried to get him.

\- Listen! Hey! Focus! We're not enemies! We don't have to fight! - Miles kept telling that to Alexander, but it was in vain. The other man was high off his mind on the drug his captors had injected on his neck.

He wouldn't, he couldn't listen.

And if he could, he wouldn't comprehend.

At last it got to a point where Miles couldn't avoid physical combat, anymore.

The thing is that Alexander was on a better shape than Miles. Apparently, he hadn't been starved or sleep deprived. Hadn't heard stories about the murder of his family. Maybe he hadn't been locked up in that place for more than a week.

He was only there for he was very unlucky to share his name with Miles' deceased best friend. He didn't even resembled the _real_ Alex Turner.

Alex punched Miles repeatedly when both men fell to the dirty ground.

 _I won't be able to take this for much longer._ Miles thought to himself while he looked around, looking for a solution to his real life sized problem.

And while he took yet another punch to his chest, Miles remembered Alex had his hands tied at the beginning of that _freak show_. He searched with his eyes for the piece of _hope._

With almost all the strength that was left in his body, Miles pushed Alex off of him and crawled towards the rope on the floor.

Alex grabbed Miles' foot and started to drag him back but Miles dug his nails on the ground and kept on pushing his body on the opposite direction until he finally felt the rope in his hand. Only then he let Alex drag him back to beat him up, again.

Except this time, Miles had an advantage.

As soon as he was within reach of Alex's face, Miles wrapped the rope against the other man's neck and managed to catch him off guard.

Alex was trying to punch Miles from behind his head but despite getting hit on his face a couple of times, Miles kept on pulling that rope back so hard that he—and everyone else in that room—could hear when Alex's neck snapped.

Miles let his own body fall back to the ground, Alex's body falling over his knees.

He had won.

_Pure luck._

And then Miles, who had killed so many men in his life, felt the passage of a soul for the first time.

Despair was the only thing that linked those two unknown men and it was also despair what made one man kill the other one.

\- _I won!_

Miles screamed at the top of his lungs, demolishing the unquietly silence that had taken up the room.


	23. Disposable

_For you I'd go through Hell and Hills._   
_For you're so terrifying that I cannot bear the thought of living without you._   
**—————————————————————**

**Christmas of 1933, Kyoto**

Miles was sitting in the centre of the room, his legs folded over each other. His eyes closed.

It was cold but that wasn't the sole reason why Miles was slightly trembling.

For the past six months Miles had been kept in that room and he was clinging onto the last sane fragments of his mind. Whatever happened, he refused to let it show how affected by his constant sessions of torture he was.

It wasn't easy to hear all that screaming all the time from people claiming to be people he loved, just on the next room, and screaming his name for help, blaming him for failing them. He _knew_ his friends were all dead but that didn't stop his mind of shattering a tiny bit more and more every day.

He could hear footsteps on the corridor, now.

The door was opened but no one got in.

Miles kept waiting for the next trick up his captor's sleeve but when they didn't enter the room, Miles had to open his eyes to look.

\- _Merry christmas, you fuck._ \- The man said, kicking a gun, with only one bullet, towards Miles.

The truth is they were all tired of Miles but couldn't kill him so they decided to give him a gun so he could take care of that for them. Kazuya Kamenashi had gotten in touch with his people only once since Kayoko had escaped and was very pleased to hear that his people had captured Miles. He told them to keep him so he could take care of Miles after he'd taken care of Kayoko.

The door was closed and locked, once again.

Miles eyed the gun on the floor.

He crawled to grab it.

————————————————————————

**Four months ago, Kyoto.**

\- I think we've lost him. I don't know if we can do this, anymore. It's been too long, already.   
\- Yeah, but we've been to the riverbed every day and we haven't seen anyone carrying any bodies to throw into the sea. - Rolf tried to reason.  
\- We're stuck.   
\- I know. - Rolf sighed. - I don't know what to do, now. I wish Cat was here... We can't get in there and we don't know... Nobody wants to help us.   
\- But what if...

Hanae got up from her chair and walked towards the small window of the room on the upper stairs of the shop.

\- What?  
\- We ask for help but we don't tell what the help is for? - She said, gesturing with her hands.   
\- Huh? - Rolf frowned at her.  
\- We'd agreed the only way to get in there now is going under. A tunnel, right?   
\- Yeah... You say...   
\- Yes. We hire some men and we start digging but we don't tell them why or where it is gonna end.   
\- Yeah but why would they agree, in the first place? And who would these men be? It'd take too many months.  
\- Money. If we offer this job to homeless people, they will agree for sure. We just have to get in there, Rolf. We're just a few walls away from Miles. We gotta try.  
\- Yeah, I know. But then we hit yet another wall; we don't have the money for that. - Rolf shook his head.   
\- I have my savings, I think 15 years of savings is gonna be enough and I know there's money inside of _the house_ so after we're done, I can get back all of the money I invested on the operation. If nobody will help us if they know the truth, then let's lie to them. Let's literally buy them.

Rolf thought about it for a minute, trying to come up with another solution.

As if he hadn't been trying to do that for months, now.

\- We could give it a shot. - He said, at last. - We'll have to move slowly so they won't notice any movement under the house but...  
\- It's the only thing we have, now.   
\- We need to adjust a few things in order to make it work. I hope this is it, Hanae. Your breakthrough could save us.

Hanae nodded at him.

It felt like sandbags had been lifted from both of their shoulders as they shared a tiny smile.

————————————————————————

**Christmas of 1933, Canada**

_I'm not too sure about this dress._ _Hell, I'm not even sure about Christmas._ Suki was thinking while turning from one side to another, trying to see her dress into the mirror.

And then it was time to leave.

Suki had thought of hosting the Christmas dinner but Thomas said it was his time to host a dinner for Suki. She had cooked every time so Thomas insisted she and Austin would go down to his house on Christmas eve.

\- Mom?  
\- Yeah?

Suki and Austin were chatting while they walked.

\- Try not to judge the food. I know you don't do it because you're trying to be mean but please, not today. - Austin pleaded.

Suki laughed.

\- I promise I won't do that. It's a chef's flaw, you know? Sometimes I can't really help. - She shrugged, still grinning a bit. - But I won't do that tonight.

Austin was the one to knock on the door of Thomas' house since Suki was carrying a Christmas cake.

\- Welcome! - Thomas greeted both his friends and told them to come in.   
\- I brought a cake. - Suki said, passing it over to Thomas.   
\- Smells delicious, as always. - Thomas smiled at her. - I'm just wrapping up the kitchen so I'll be with you in a minute.   
\- Alright.   
\- There's wine for you and juice for you, Mr. I know I've said it a hundred times but make yourself at home.   
\- Where are the dogs? - Austin asked Thomas before he could disappear into the kitchen.   
\- Oh, why don't you ask them? - Thomas said, chuckling a bit.

Austin giggled a bit and then whistled loudly.

The dogs came running.

\- They're wearing ties! - Suki said, laughing. - Oh my God, you're so cute. - She was petting the dogs.   
\- I should have brought Tiny. - Austin said.  
\- I agree. But we left her all comfy and with lots of food so I'm sure she's fine.  
\- Can I play with them outside? - Austin asked his mom.  
\- Maybe after the dinner. And you'll have to ask Thomas, since it's his dogs.   
\- I'm sure he'll allow.   
\- Allow what? - Thomas said, walking back into the living room to announce the table had been settled.   
\- The dogs and I play outside after the dinner. -Austin told Thomas.  
\- Yes, of course you can.   
\- Yes!  
\- You put bow ties on them, it's the cutest thing ever. - Suki said, looking at the dogs. She was in love with that.  
\- I figured they could get dressed up for Christmas, as well. - Thomas shrugged, chuckling a bit. - But well, let's have dinner, shall we?

Of course Suki had eaten some food made by Thomas, a couple of times, before. But she didn't expect he knew how to cook elaborated dishes such as stuffed turkey.

The food was surprisingly good and Suki was very pleased.

It was good to eat something you weren't the one to cook, for a change.

The dinner went very well and they all laughed a lot. Thomas told a bunch of jokes and Suki tried to impersonate a few famous people. They all sang Christmas songs and then Austin went to play with the dogs, outside, while Suki and Thomas cleaned up the dinner table and then sat on the couch by the fireplace on the living room, to drink some wine and chat some more.

\- I love your Christmas tree. - Suki said, pointing with her ring finger while taking a sip on her wine.  
\- Most of these decorations belonged to my grandmother. - Thomas said, looking at the tree with nostalgia. - I think only a few bows are new but the star on the top and all the golden bows were hers. She loved Christmas, it was the best time of the year for her.   
\- To me, too. I wish it was like that all the time but on Christmas all people become more... united. It's beautiful to watch and be a part of it. Back in Florida, when I had the restaurant, I'd host a Christmas dinner for homeless people... And there were free meals for them every Sunday, too. I miss doing that.  
\- That's a beautiful thing to do.   
\- I wish I could do that here, too. I mean, open another restaurant. But... - Suki shrugged.  
\- Yeah, I understand. Maybe you could do that when this is all over and you get back home?  
\- I... - Suki started but paused for a minute. - I don't think Austin and I will be going back. I don't think it's... I don't think Miles is coming back. - She said, looking at Thomas with sadness on her eyes despite trying to keep a straight face. - He's been gone for too long, no news, no nothing. I know I told myself and repeated it over and over that I would never lose my faith on him but I don't think he's ever coming back. And every time I look at Austin, I can see he thinks the same thing. We lost Miles.

A tear streamed down her face while she gulped on her wine, almost emptying the glass.

\- I'm sorry.   
_-_ It's fine. - Suki said, wiping her tears away. - I'm sorry for changing the mood. I think I—  
\- It's ok, really. And we can always change the subject, if you feel like it.  
\- Yes, please.   
\- So... - Thomas started, meaning to fill up Suki's glass with wine, again. - I heard your birthday is coming up.  
\- Oh, Austin. - She said, chuckling a bit.   
\- Yes, Austin. - Thomas said, also chuckling. - I was thinking what I should get you for the occasion.  
\- You don't need to worry about it. Really.  
\- I'm not worried. - Thomas joked. Suki laughed a bit. - But I think a painting of you would make a great gift, don't you agree?  
\- A painting? - Suki raised her brows.  
\- Yeah. But only if you're willing to stay still for hours and hours for days on end until I finish the painting. If you say no I'll totally understand.  
\- I wouldn't dare to say no.   
\- No, but really.   
\- Yes. - She said.

Thomas laughed a bit.

\- Then you tell me when we can start and we'll start. Of course the sooner we start, we—  
\- We can start right now, if you want.  
\- Are you sure?  
\- Absolutely. - Suki nodded.

She was all cheerful, now.

Maybe it was the wine.

\- Let me get my sketchbook, then. I'll be back in a second.

Thomas left the room and Suki turned her head to look at Austin playing outside, through the window.

He was smiling and laughing. He was happy. That was the best sight to a mother's eyes.

Even though the smile that took place on Suki's face was sad.

————————————————————————

_When I first got here, it was the end of Spring. I would sit by the window in a bedroom of a place I thought it was safe and would watch a sakura tree—an impossible tree._   
_Now I haven't seen the Sun in ages._

_I've felt the walls around me go hot and the heat would make me uncomfortable at the same time it reassured me the Sun was still out there, just outside these walls. The heat took me back home, to the boardwalk full of the floundering skirts of pink dresses and running children._

_It took me back to the very day we decided to name our pub_ The Arctic. _It took me back to the day I first kissed you on that bench, at that square. Made me feel the taste of lemonade on the tip of my dry tongue. Took me back to all the holes I've dug on the sand beach to bury the sticks of our umbrellas._

_Took me back to our first stroll since I'd found out about your existence. Wrapped the imagery of your first steps around my mind, behind my eyes. And your innocent laugh. Put me back on the spot I was standing when you fell of the tree and my heart skipped eight beats out of concern. I almost died._

_Took me back to the first tears I watched you cry and to the first tears we've cried together. Sharing a worry. To a stolen bottle of wine. To a promise. To an agreement. To trust. Took me back to so many other things my mind doesn't remember but my heart and body can feel still._

_It breaks me out of this cold, damp place and has me running with wind on my face again._

_Reminds me of the prospect of a better life with all of you._

_Now everything is cold and I shiver, laying down on the dirty floor, sharing my food with a bunch of mice so they won't attack me in my sleep. Life is miserable, now._

_But I'm not giving up on you._

_-_ So you're no dead yet? - The tall man asked Miles, upon entering the room.  
\- How does it feel to live your whole life only getting pieces of someone's mind because you can't really 'ave 'em? - Miles asked back, still writing on the walls with the bullet that he supposed to have put on his head, by now.

The tall man clenched his jaw.

\- You love Kayoko. In a twisted way and she'll never love you back but it is what it is. - Miles finally diverted his eyes to look at the other man. - That's why you're so pissed at me and 'ave kept me here for this long. I 'ave freed her from you.  
\- I'll bring her back. As for you, I'm enjoying to watch you rotting alive. I told you I was going to wreck you and so I'm staying true to my word.  
\- If you were any good, I'd be really dead by now. Or insane. You've failed to do both things. I'm still alive and I'm still sane and I'm not going any-fucking-where if not home.

Miles was so numb about life that everything he said, even though it supposed to sound extremely aggressive, just sounded like he was talking about the weather. It was like he had lost all of his capacity to feel anger.

Miles had known true love two times in his lifetime, but the funny thing is that it wasn't the sheer power of the love for his son that was keeping him alive.

It was sheer anger.

\- Anyway. Since it's Christmas, I thought of bringing you a little gift. - The tall man said.

Miles could hear the sound of heels walking down the corridor.

_Please, no._

The woman stopped by the door, by the tall man's side, and Miles' heart skipped a beat.

He couldn't see her whole face because of the barely illuminated room, but she was dressed like and her figure looked just like Lil's.

She didn't say anything.

Miles turned around and closed the windows to his soul.

He wished he could go deaf, too.

_He's taking advantage of the dim lights, I bet her face doesn't even look like Lil's. I won't fall for that._

_-_ Running away from the woman you love, Miles? - The man asked.   
\- That isn't her. - He simply said, now scratching the wall with his nails but not really writing anything.  
\- Are you sure? - The man asked as the sound of the heels started to echo inside of the room.

Miles scratchings on the wall became more frantic.

\- Yes. - He replied, not so sure of anything by now.   
\- What if I told you she never died?

Miles' arm fell to the side of his body, devoid of all movement.

\- When the police intercepted her, they arrested and forced her to disclose everything about you and your friends to spare their lives. Of course she wouldn't risk that so she told them everything and then Al Capone learned about everything about you, just as well. She's the responsible for the death of all those men. She and no one else. She betrayed you, she left you. She made you believe she was dead and now she's right behind you, helping us make sure you're never leaving this place. Who do you think helped us to arrange the people _to be your friends and family_ on the torture sessions? She's so pissed you forgot about her. You cheated, Miles.   
\- Stop it.   
\- Can't you handle the truth?

At that moment, the woman touched Miles' shoulder and he turned around, pushing her away from him.

He grabbed her throat and she put her hands around his, trying to free herself. He knocked the both of them over.

\- You're not her! - He screamed on her face, shaking her so her hair would get out of her face and he could really see who she was. She was trying to say something.

And when Miles saw they had picked someone who _really_ looked like Lillian, his hands went cold and he got away from the woman.

_How is this even possible?_

_Maybe she doesn't look like her and I'm just... seeing her as if she does. Would that be it? Yes! Yes! It has to be it._

She dragged her body away from him, coughing for her life.

Miles shot the tall man a murderous glance.

\- It was just to check if there's still you inside of you. - The tall man said, shooting the woman on the head. - Good thing some pictures of your first wedding were still available, otherwise we couldn't have found someone so close to her features.

Miles fell on his knees and pressed his palms on his face. He didn't know for how long he'd be able to take that, anymore. He was tired of all that killing, of the people around him serving as disposable beings.

 _Served and died_.   
_Serving and getting killed._  
 _One by one, like matches being blown out by a cruel mouth._

It was... something so horrible there isn't a word to describe it.

Miles was overcome by the feeling that no one was coming to save him, Kayoko had failed her mission and he was past way the point he should have died.

 _My rest is long overdue._ It was some of the things he had written on the wall.

_\- Stay on your knees, right where you belong._

The tall man dragged the woman's body out of the room and locked the door, again, leaving Miles to be eaten alive by his own mind.

Miles was curved into a ball, now. Left alone with his only friend.

The only one who was really coming for him, sooner or later.

———————————————————————

**January 2, Canada. 1934.**

\- Can I look, now?   
\- No, not yet.   
\- I didn't know it—  
\- No, don't move!   
\- Sorry.

Suki kept her head still.

_I didn't know it takes so much standing around to finish a painting._

_-_ It's alright it's just that I'm kind of... a perfectionist, when it comes to the paintings and well, this is a gift for you. It can't be any less than perfect.  
\- Don't worry about perfect. I'm far from it.  
\- I disagree. - Thomas said, really focused on the strokes of his brush until he realized he had voiced his thoughts.

Both Suki and Thomas fell silent after that.

To her, Thomas' complexion was similar to hers when it came to food. Reminded her of the episode of a recipe that took her 42 tries until it was finally considered good enough to make it into the restaurant's menu.

She would have cracked a smile if she wasn't afraid that was gonna ruin Thomas' work.

\- I think we're finished for today. - Thomas said, looking over at Suki and then back at the painting. - Two more days and it's finished for good. Just in time for your birthday.

Suki nodded at Thomas with a tiny smile on her face.

\- You could be a model, you know? - Thomas told Suki, chuckling a bit.   
\- With my moving around I think it'd be difficult. - She said, stretching her arms and moving her head from side to side after staying still for so long.  
\- Yeah. - Thomas said, softly.   
\- Oh my, look at the time. I gotta go back home. - Suki said, looking at the clock on the wall behind Thomas.

He turned around, too.

\- I'm sorry I've kept you until this hour.  
\- The work needs to get done, right? And it's not like I was gonna take another hour to get home. - She chuckled. - I'm gonna make it in time for Austin's call.  
\- How's he liking the holidays?   
\- Oh, he's very excited. I'm still a bit uptight about him being away from me but it wasn't fair to keep him at home during all the holidays. - Suki was talking while putting her gloves back on and grabbing her purse so she could leave. - His friends were also very excited about him spending some days at their house.  
\- Kids love sleep overs. I'm glad he's having fun.   
\- He sure is.  
\- So, same time tomorrow? - Thomas asked, escorting Suki to the main door of his home.  
\- Yes.   
\- I'll be waiting for you, then.

Suki nodded at Thomas and smiled a bit. She left.

 _Anxiously._ Thomas thought to himself.

And then after a couple of more days, the painting was finished and Suki came over so she could finally see herself through an artist's eyes.

\- I'm so nervous. - She said, turning around and smiling a bit at Thomas.

In front of her there was the painting, covered by a white sheet.

\- No, go ahead!  
\- What if I find out I'm actually hideous?

Thomas laughed out loud.

\- I'm serious. - She added.  
\- I'm sure that won't happen.

Suki turned around again.

She uncovered the painting.

\- So?  
\- I'm speechless. - She said, her eyes glued to the painting.

She was standing in her clear blue dress, the left side of her face in evidence. Rosy cheeks and lips. Her gleaming eyes. The fabric looked so fluid and _real_. Her eyebrow was cocked in a way that made her look powerful but not intimidating.

Every detail on that painting was just _perfect._

Thomas took a step forward.

\- If I may, this is the best work I've ever done. - He said, grabbing Suki's hand and making her touch the painting, the high relief created by the paint and strokes of the brush. - It's suddenly become my favorite painting because it was also a work of figuring it all out. You're so easy to understand but your figure is so complex.

Suki's heart was beating loud inside of her chest.

\- There's so much complexity to you and your button shaped nose that's actually so narrow to be button shaped but yet it is. All of your shapes are like question marks... it was very challenging to translate that into the language of paint.

Thomas and Suki were facing each other, now. Even if she tried to look away, she knew she wouldn't be capable of doing so.

_Magnetic._

Next thing both knew was they were sharing a kiss that, to both, felt so long overdue. They had been friends for months and months and months but only recently the flame had started to burn but they didn't know what to do.

Thomas had never forgotten about _his_ girl.  
Suki belonged in a fake marriage.

It was complicated, at least.

But at that specific moment, nothing else in the world mattered. No former lovers, no fake husbands, no dangers. No hurting.

Suki didn't make it back home, that night.

———————————————————————

**January 7, Kyoto.**

\- How is it going? - Rolf asked Hanae as soon as she walked into his room at the small inn they were staying.

It was the seventh place they had moved to since he helped her escape death and Miles was taken.

\- Two walls left and we're in. - She said, sighing.  
\- Why are you...sad?   
\- I'm not sad, I'm scared. I mean, what if it doesn't work? I can't stop thinking about it.   
\- Me too. - Rolf said, looking out the window.   
\- And we're running out of money, actually.  
\- That's very bad news. We knew it was going to cost us a lot of money to get this thing going but we've gone two times over the budget. I'm sorry, Hanae.  
\- Me too. Well, this is something I should have... I'm gonna go back to work. - Hanae said and shrugged. - Don't know how this is gonna go down when I'm not under Lee's wings, anymore, but I still think I can get some good money out of it.  
\- I don't feel comfortable with that. - Rolf said. - It has to be another way.  
\- But there isn't, Rolf. We can't break the law, we can't get arrested. Especially you, a foreigner... They wouldn't go easy on you.   
\- I gotta think of something. Give me one day and I promise I'll come up with a solution. I really don't want you to go back to _work._  
 _-_ It's just sex, Rolf. Means nothing at all. - Hanae said, closing the door behind her when she left Rolf's room to go to her own.

Rolf was so restless that he grabbed his jacket and left for a walk.

_Maybe some air will do me good._

The hours went by and Rolf was still wandering around. His palms were sweating, he was _scared_ it would all fail and they would lose Miles after getting so close to save him. It was unacceptable.

And also Hanae' situation.

He couldn't just let her go back to _that_.

Rolf started to walk again and then entered into a small bookshop. He made his way through the aisles.

It felt like he had a drum kit inside of his chest.

He stopped and touched a book, taking it out of its place. The small gap it created was enough to cause his whole body go weak from happiness.

\- I've missed you so much. - He whispered to a book, apparently.  
\- I hate to admit but I missed you, too. - Caterine said, from the other side of the shelf. Only her eye visible to Rolf, through the tiny gap.

It was her turn to take a book out of its place.

\- For how long have you been following me?   
\- Started yesterday.

He took another book out.

Now both were able to see each other face's completely.

\- I came back a week ago but have been hiding ever since. Had to make sure...  
\- Yes.   
\- I'm happy to see your skills are still sharp. You've noticed someone was following you within two hours. That's very good.  
\- Are you really here?

Rolf felt like crying.

It was so relieving to see a familiar face, once again.

\- Yes. - Caterine replied. She put her hand through the gap and touched the tip of Rolf's nose.

A tear streamed down his cheek.

\- Is there a place we can talk? - Caterine asked, putting a book back on the shelf.  
\- Follow me to the inn. - He said, putting all the remaining books back on the shelf before heading out the store.

When Rolf got back to his room, at the inn, it was almost midnight.

He stood by the door, waiting.

Light knocks were heard and Rolf eagerly opened the door, letting Caterine in. The moonlight was shining upon her skin and she had never looked more like an angel.

Rolf hugged her and both stayed silent for several minutes until both knew it was time to approach the reason why Caterine was back in Japan.

Rolf updated her on the situation regarding Miles and Hanae and the tunnel. And their money shortage.

\- Where's Hanae, now? - Caterine asked Rolf.   
\- She's in the room next door.   
\- Go get her, I think I might have a solution for us. It's a long shot but...  
\- Anything's worth trying. I'll be right back.

Rolf left to get Hanae and Caterine used that short interval to close the curtains of the small room. She sat on the edge of the bed and waited.

\- Why is it so dark? - Hanae asked.  
\- Shh... you'll understand in a minute. - Rolf said, turning the lampshade on so Hanae could finally understand what was going on.  
\- Caterine!?  
\- Hello, dear. - Cat smiled a bit at Hanae.   
\- When did you come back? - Hanae asked, a bit dazzled. Everything was going to change, now.

_Maybe we can do it, now._

\- Last week. But I'll update you on these details later.   
\- What about Kayoko? - Hanae asked again.  
\- It took us two months of running and hiding until I was finally able to get across with her. She disembarked the ship in India and I started to make my way back here.  
\- India?  
\- We figured no one would look for her, there. And she also told me she has a solid plan. Of course it was a bit difficult for me to communicate with her but she'd point all the words to me on the dictionary and then I'd be able to understand what she meant. - Cat explained.  
\- Great, great. - Rolf approved.   
\- How did you know you should come back here instead of going to America?   
\- Kayoko told me to come back. She gave me this book.

Caterine handed the book to Hanae.

\- She told me you'd be able to read it.   
\- _The Art of War*._ Lucky for both of you that I know a bit of Chinese. - Hanae said, sitting by Caterine' side, on the bed.   
\- Kayoko told me is some sort of manual. - Cat said, looking at Rolf.

He frowned at her.

\- Indeed. - Hanae added. - It isn't something quite _literal_ but I think it's gonna help us. Listen up.

Hanae started to read the book and read aloud everything she thought that could help the friends to save Miles.

_Look for advantages when applying my principles and you will gather sufficient force to take on unforeseen situations._

_Force is tilting the balance of power to your side by gathering advantages._

_Warfare is the Way of deception._

_Therefore, if able, appear unable; if active, appear inactive; if near, appear far; if far, appear near._

_If your enemies have advantage, bait them; if they are confused, capture them; if they are numerous, prepare for them; if they are strong, avoid them; if they are angry, disturb them; if they are humble, make them haughty; if they are relaxed, toil them; if they are united, separate them._

_Attack where your enemies are not prepared; go to where they do not expect_.

\- What does this tell us, exactly? - Hanae asked both Caterine and Rolf.  
\- It tells us we really don't 'ave to be an army and that not all wars are won by guns. Confusion is also a weapon. - Rolf said.  
\- How are we gonna confuse them? - Hanae asked.  
\- I have an idea. Well, two ideas because we need to get one running before we get to the other.   
\- Speak up. - Rolf said.   
\- Rolf's told me you're running out of money.   
\- Yes. - Hanae nodded at Caterine.  
\- Miles has money. Lots of it. I know it because I had to do a little digging on him while working on a side job for the police. I even lied to them about the amount of money Miles has so they wouldn't get too interested in him. - Cat explained.  
\- Go on.  
\- Here in Japan, they don't know how Miles looks like. You could go to the bank and pose as him, withdraw the money we need and then we can carry on with the next part of the plan which consists in bribing a corrupt person from inside that house. We just need to have them to move Miles, I mean, if he's in room number one, or whatever, if he magically appeared in room number two, the people there would all go frantic and they'd be looking around for the traitor amongst them. Too busy for us.  
\- It's a good plan. - Hanae agreed. - I mean, there are a lot of "ifs" but we gotta try.  
\- We'll try anything at this point. The hardest part will be finding someone corrupt. - Rolf added.  
\- Leave that part to me. - Cat told them. - You think you can fake Miles' signature? - She asked Rolf.  
\- For sure I can. And I also kept all his luggage so his documents are somewhere inside it. But you'll have to come with me, Hanae.   
\- Yes, of course! When can we go?  
\- Tomorrow? - Rolf asked, looking at Caterine.   
\- The sooner, the better.

The friends stayed up all night, putting together some ideas and simulating scenarios. Thinking of solutions.

On the next day, Rolf and Hanae went to the bank first thing.

\- _We'd like to speak to the manager. -_ Hanae told the receptionist.  
\- _Just a moment. -_ The woman bowed a little bit before walking away to get the manager.  
\- No matter what, keep calm. - Rolf told Hanae.  
\- Alright. I'll keep calm, I promise.  
\- _Good morning. My name is Raizo, I'm here to help you. -_ The man greeted "Miles" and Hanae.  
\- _Nice to meet you_. _I'm Hanae and this is my boyfriend, Miles. Can we speak in private, please? -_ She asked.  
\- _Of course_.

The man guided both _Miles_ and Hanae to his office.

\- _How can I help?_  
 _\- Well, my boyfriend and I are just starting a new life and he's moved to Japan. By the way, I'm doing all the talking because he doesn't quite speak Japanese, yet. But yeah, in order to get things going he's gonna need to withdraw some money for us to buy a house and get married. Throw a wedding party._  
 _\- I see. Where's he moving from?_  
 _\- America. United States._  
 _\- Oh, really?_  
 _\- Yes._

Rolf was just looking from Raizo to Hanae back and forth, wishing he'd understand what they were saying.

\- _I'm gonna need some documents so I can check if a withdrawal is possible to be made here. -_ The manager explained.  
\- _Alright. -_ Hanae nodded at the man. - He's asking for the documents. - She told Rolf.  
\- Yes, of course. - Rolf smiled nervously. - Here they are.   
\- _I'll be back in a few. Please, make yourself comfortable._

The manager left the room and Hanae updated Rolf about every sentence she and the other man had exchanged.

\- _So, I just checked and the withdrawal is possible. But... -_ The man frowned.  
\- _But what? -_ Hanae asked back.  
\- _Do you... happen to know that Mr. Kane is... married? -_ He asked, eyeing Rolf.  
\- _About that, yes. They're actually getting divorced that's why we chose to move here instead of staying in America._  
 _\- I understand, but that puts you into a delicate situation._  
 _\- Yes?_  
 _\- We're gonna need Mrs. Kane signature in order to get the money because it's a joint account and we cannot operate without her consent._

Hanae felt a cold shiver going down her spine.

\- There's a problem. - She told Rolf.  
\- What's going on? - Rolf asked her.  
\- _Ho-how long is that gonna take? -_ She asked the manager.   
\- _If she responds fast, then we can get it done in two weeks._  
 _\- Two weeks, huh... -_ She stopped to calculate how much longer her money would last before they had to really stop everything. - _Alright. I'm gonna tell him._

Hanae explained everything to Rolf, who just shook his head and sighed deeply.

\- We don't have an option. - He said.

So Rolf and Hanae agreed they had to withdraw fifty thousand yens from Miles' account. Rolf signed the papers and then left the bank with Hanae's arm tangled on his.

\- If Mrs. Suki block us, then it's the end of everything. - Hanae whispered to Rolf.  
\- That's not the question. The real question is: are they gonna be able to _find_ her?

———————————————————————

**January 17, Canada.**

\- Austin comes home tomorrow... I don't know if we should tell him right away. - Suki was talking to Thomas, at the breakfast table of her house, in the morning.

She was circling her finger on the rim of her teacup.

\- It's your decision. But I think you should wait 'til I'm back. It's only a few days at my parents' house so it's not gonna take that long.  
\- Yes, I agree. - She nodded at him. - I think he's gonna welcome the news very well. I mean, he adores you.   
\- I hope he does. I wouldn't feel... I like Austin very much and it'd upset me if I upset him, you know?   
\- I know. But he also knows nobody will ever take his father's place in his life, replace him. You're not trying to be a "new Miles". You're Thomas, and you're doing things as Thomas.   
\- Yes. Exactly.  
\- I'm sure he'll understand that.   
\- That brings us to another point.   
\- Yes? - Suki asked, looking at Thomas' face while he looked down at his tea and then back at her.  
\- What if he comes back?

It was Suki's turn to look down. She pressed her lips together.

\- I wish he'd come back. Miles is my best friend, I hold him very dear. But I _really_ don't think he will. It's been almost a year and... In almost ten years of marriage he had never done that, ever. Been away for so long, I mean. I don't even know if he really survived the train accident... It's just... - She shook her head.  
\- I'm sorry. I am.  
\- Thank you. - Suki nodded slightly. - But yeah, that's it, I don't think he's coming back.   
\- Alright, then.   
\- Yes.

Suki and Thomas finished eating and she accompanied him to the door so she could kiss him goodbye. He was gonna go to Québec, to visit his parents.

\- I'm gonna miss you. - He said, hugging her one last time before leaving.  
\- I'll be counting down the minutes 'til you're back.

Suki watched as Thomas disappeared around the bend. She stayed on the porch, her mind running wild with the prospect of a new life with a new love. Now she had allowed herself to feel, fully, she acknowledged she had fallen deep in love with Thomas, for real.

Suki sighed and was about to head back inside when she decided to check the mailbox, first.

She grabbed all the mail inside of it and then went inside of the house.

Suki finished cleaning up the kitchen and took a shower, put on some comfy clothes and went to the living room. She grabbed the mail she had put on the coffee table, earlier that day.

\- Bills, bills... a letter from the bank... Mhm.

_(...) an amount of fifty thousand yens from the bank' subsidiary in Kyoto, Japan. In order to complete the transaction, the solicitor, Mr. Miles Peter Kane, needs his partner, Mrs. Alice Suki Kane, to also sign the three copies of the documents following and an authorization written by hand._

Suki had no blood in her face, anymore.

\- Oh my God. - She said, as she ran away to grab a pen.

She was trembling.

———————————————————————

 _*The Art of War_ is an ancient Chinese military treatise dating from the Late Spring and Autumn Period (roughly 5th century BC). The work, which is attributed to the ancient Chinese military strategist Sun Tzu ("Master Sun", also spelled Sunzi), is composed of 13 chapters. Each one is devoted to an aspect of warfare and how it applies to military strategy and tactics. For almost 1,500 years it was the lead text in an anthology that would be formalised as the Seven Military Classics by Emperor Shenzong of Song in 1080. _The Art of War_ remains the most influential strategy text in East Asian warfare and has influenced both Eastern and Western military thinking, business tactics, legal strategy and beyond.


	24. Charon

Suki was sitting on the sofa, in the living room of her house. She doubted her knees wouldn't fail her if she tried to get up.

_Miles, oh my God... after all this time!_   
_I can't believe my eyes._

Her eyes scanning the letter from the bank, over and over.

When Suki got to Canada, she had to go to the bank in order to get things in order so she could access her money from there. She asked the manager to keep the fact she was now residing in Canada, under absolute secrecy. And since hers and Miles' account was a really _fat_ one, the manager didn't even ask why, he just did as Suki told him.

So getting a letter from the bank was already a big surprise, in the first place. And then opening it and finding out it was a request from Miles was just...

Suki had to take a minute to calm down since the pen in her hand kept on rebelling and distorting all of the words she meant to write down.

It was not until a hot tear fell down on the paper of the letter she was holding that she noticed that she was crying.

A huge sense of relief had taken over her body and mind and Suki just felt so light, light like she was floating, in the air like a hot balloon. Almost touching the fluffy clouds in the sky.

The clouds that, until she opened that letter, hadn't announced anything other than thunderstorms approaching.

She wiped the tears under her eyes.

A permanent smile on her face.

_(...) therefore I authorize the withdrawal from the account cited by you. And furthermore, I authorize any other withdrawals Miles Peter Kane wishes to make for the period of one year to the date of this document._

Suki finished off the brief note and signed her name at the bottom of the page, folding it in half and putting it inside an envelope.

And despite being given the option to send the document back through the mail so they could deliver it to the bank, Suki chose to take it to the bank herself.

_I can sense this is something really important, I'm not gonna make him wait._

_———————————————————————_

**_January, 1934. Kyoto._ **

Miles was curved into a ball in the middle of the room, away from the walls and from the door, since it was colder at those spots.

He was shivering, his bones turned blue. Could barely feel his lower limbs.

And there was the incessant coughing.

Miles could feel himself wasting away a bit more every day that passed.

Now he couldn't keep his teeth from chattering, anymore. Had lost control of most parts of his own body.

Miles opened his eyes and kept staring at the thin illuminated line under the door of the room. The only source of light he'd seen in months when he wasn't being tortured. The only guide he had to really understand at what spot of the room he was standing.

It was when he saw _him,_ again.

Miles had always thought _he'd_ be tall and his figure slender. Of course he was probably biased from all of the depictions of _Death_ he had heard about in his life.

But now they were in the same room, together.

 _He_ wore black shoes that never really touched the floor when he walked around, it was like _he_ was always hovering about one inch above the floor. As if Earth, its soil, were too unholy for _him_ , like the mortal ground didn't deserve _him_ setting _his_ feet on it.

It's been a few days Miles had first seen _him._ It'd started when he first felt too weak to get up.

And then _Death_ made his way around Miles and hid in one of the dark corners of the room as someone approached the door to Miles' cell, from the outside, and unlocked it.

\- _It's time_. - A voice announced.

By then, Miles had adjusted his position but he was still laying down. Too tired to get up.

\- _I said it's time. -_ The voice repeated, taking a step into the room.  
\- _I heard you the first time._ \- Miles said whilst he glanced at the corner Death went to hide.

 _Don't take my only friend from me, please_. Miles thought, looking back at the silhouette of the man, in front of him.

\- _I just can't get up. -_ Miles closed his eyes, exhausted. - _I'm too tired._  
\- _That is not a problem, actually_.- The man said, again, walking towards Miles and grabbing both his legs.

Miles didn't say anything, he didn't protest.   
Had lost count of how many days, or nights, he'd been hanging upside down by a rope tied to his feet. The blood pounding inside of his head, causing an excruciating headache.

And since he could barely feel his legs, anyway, he thought that a little exercise would be good.

But despite looking so calm, Miles' heart was trembling with despair. He wanted to get out of that place. He had lost forty-eight pounds and he was sure he wouldn't recognize himself into a mirror even if he stared at his own image for a whole hour.

_That's not me!_

The man grabbed both of Miles' legs and started to drag him out of the room. Miles was so exhausted that he didn't notice no one had put a blindfold on him, this time around.

He kept on being dragged until his warden unlocked the door to another room and pulled Miles into it. He left Miles in the middle of the room and then walked away, locking the door again.

The difference is that this room had a window. Too small for anyone who wasn't a child to climb out of it but, it was still a window.

To Miles, it meant everything.

Now he was feeling like he still belonged in life, he could finally see and feel the light on his skin, gleaming silver light.

For a moment he even forgot about the cold and about what had just happened.

When his teeth started to chatter, again, it was when Miles snapped back into reality. He laid on the floor, on his side, now facing the window. Watching the tiny flakes of snow falling down, delicately. Dreamily.

_I'm gonna die here._

He thought as his eyes closed shut, again.

_———————————————————————_

_-_ By now I think it has been taken care of. - Caterine said, trying to appear calm but failing miserably.

She was frantically wiping her hands on the fabric of her skirt.

\- Cat, everything's going according to plan. We managed to get the money from the bank, the men were paid off, the dynamite was bought. And now we're only _one_ wall away from Miles. Another week or so and we'll have gotten in there. We've heard the confirmation we were so desperately wanting to hear for so many months; Miles is alive. We're not too late. - Rolf said, in an attempt to comfort Cat.  
\- The closer we get to getting in, more nervous I get. Alright, the guy gave us the blueprint of the fortress but what if he took the money, didn't really do his part and is leading us into a trap? - Caterine voiced her fears. She was tired, too. Happy Miles was alive but exhausted by fear.   
\- I don't think he did that. - Rolf shook his head. - All our meetings with him, I saw greed all over him. He just wants money, it doesn't matter what the job is, he just cares about the paycheck. And we got him it. - He said.  
\- But that's exactly the problem. What if they've doubled the amount of money we paid the guy so he would tell on us?   
\- He wouldn't do that. - Hanae said. - If he dreams of identifying himself as the one who went behind everybody's back because of some money, in the first place, it doesn't matter how he could set a trap for us; he'd get killed before he could even say "hi" to start that negotiation. It's _treason!_ Treason of any kind is the foulest crime anyone could commit in this country. Mafia or no mafia.  
\- She's right - Rolf said, nodding at Hanae and then looking back at Caterine. - And they 'ave them codes, too. Like we do back home. The man you paid off to move Miles from one room to another will never tell anyone he was the one who did it.   
\- You can rest assured. - Hanae added, folding and unfolding the document they got from the bank when she and Rolf went to withdraw the money. She still couldn't believe they'd managed to do that. That _Suki_ had granted her husband that, even after he'd "abandoned" her.

Caterine sighed heavily.

\- Yes, yes. You're both right. It's just my brain overthinking things, again. - She got up from her chair and took another deep breath, exhaling through her nose. - You know how it works. - She told Rolf.   
\- We're gonna make it. - Rolf said, putting his hand on the middle of her back. - _Confusion_ must start very soon, now. We just 'ave to wait. All according to plan.

Hanae and Caterine nodded at Rolf.

_All according to a plan full of flaws._

_———————————————————————_

**Canada, the day after the letter.**

_-_ Mom, I'm home! - Austin yelled as soon as he got back into his house, he dropped his backpack on the floor by the door.  
\- Baby, welcome home! - Suki walked towards her son, hugging him closely. - I've missed you so much.   
\- I've missed you, too. And you. - Austin said, pointing at Tiny, that was sitting, patiently, by Suki' side, waiting for her turn to _speak_ with Austin. By now she'd learn not to jump on people.

Suki laughed a bit, letting go of Austin so he could pay attention to his other best friend. The boy got down in both knees to hold and give Tiny a kiss.

\- Did you have fun? - She asked him.  
\- Yes! It was really good, I've made a couple new friends, even. - Austin said, looking back at Suki for a moment. He frowned just a bit, a smile still on his face. - You look so... happy.  
\- I've got some really good news for you.   
\- What's it about? - Austin asked, getting back up on his feet. - Does Thomas know, already?

_Thomas._

Suki had completely forgotten about her new involvement with him. Her mind had been completely absorbed by the news about Miles, by the fact he was alive and that she was right about not believing those officers who knocked on her door, back in Florida, to tell her Miles had _gone missing_ in a train accident. He was just in Japan, now.

Doing God knows what but he was still _here_ and... yeah, he was still _here._

\- Thomas is away, visiting his parents, so I haven't had the chance to let him know about anything. I just.. you're gonna be so happy.   
\- Tell me already! - Austin said, giggling a bit.  
\- Alright, come here. - Suki told Austin so he'd follow her into the living room. She grabbed the letter on the coffee table and then sat down. Austin sat down by her side.

Her smile wasn't completely happy by now. There was also a bit of nervousness.

\- I've received this letter, yesterday. It's from the bank. - She started, slowly. - At first I thought it was really strange, the bank sending us a letter since we don't owe them anything, but then I opened it and... it was a request from Miles.  
\- Dad? - Austin asked, widening his eyes at the letter.   
\- Yes. He needed to withdraw some money in Kyoto, Japan. So he's in Japan. He is alive, Austin. And he's fine.

She got one out of two wrong.

Austin grabbed the letter and started to read it.

\- Japan... Why Japan? Why doesn't he come home and why didn't he send us a letter!? - The last question carried a bit of frustration in its words.  
\- Look. - Suki started, taking the letter out of Austin's hands. - He needed my signature, because it's a large amount of money, but if it wasn't for that, we would still remain in the dark about where he is. This letter is a safe way to let us know where he's been but if he wrote us a letter, it'd be too risky. Plus, he doesn't have our address. He knows we're in Canada because I left your wooden toy in the living room, back home, but that doesn't mean he knows in what state and city we're in. - Suki shook her head. - Only the bank knows.  
\- You're right. - Austin said, pressing his hands against his eyes. - I'm... I don't know. - He eyed the letter, again. I...  
\- It's ok. Take your time. - Suki said, smiling in a comforting manner at Austin. - It's gonna be fine.   
\- I just... I don't know, I guess I feel _disappointed_? - Austin said, frowning.  
\- Disappointed? - Suki also frowned.  
\- Yes... I. I love dad, that is true, but I had accepted the idea he wasn't coming back, anymore. Now we're back to square one where we don't know how long it's gonna take for him to come back. _Again._ I'm so tired of feeling... anxious and afraid.   
\- Oh, baby. - Suki cupped her son's cheek. - I'm so sorry. I understand how you feel and I'm really, really, sorry about it.   
\- Yeah.   
\- But are you still afraid? What are you afraid of, this time?  
\- Afraid we're gonna have to run away. If the bank found us... what if some bad guy finds us too? With dad there's always something like this. Why couldn't he be like... I don't know, why couldn't he be like Thomas?   
\- What do you mean?

Austin sighed.

\- The whole time I've been at Thomas' house while you were in the hospital we didn't have to run or hide. He didn't have to lock all doors and windows and... It was like _before_. It was like when we still lived nearby aunt Alexa and Aiden. When visitors didn't mean danger. It felt like _home._

Suki gulped.

\- I understand. And I guess you really... like Thomas?  
\- Yeah, I do.  
\- But listen. - She cleared her throat before resuming her line. - Miles is gonna come home and we'll never have to run or hide, ever again. At this very moment I'm so ashamed I'd lost my faith in him for a while but now it's back and I know, I can feel it deep in my core, that everything is gonna be back to what it was _before_. Your father loves you, son. He had his whole life turned around because of you and he's never been more grateful because of it. Of course he had his problems but so many times I've catch him whispering to you, while you were asleep, and he'd be saying "I'm so thankful for you. I'm so thankful, _my son."_ I know that waiting is hard and it gets on our nerves but don't ever don't trust your dad, don't you ever lose your faith in him. He's doing his best.  
\- I just wish he was back here with us. All the time.   
\- That wish is about to come true.   
\- I hope so. We've been there, before. - Austin said, hugging his mother back.   
\- I can just feel it.

_———————————————————————_

**Three weeks after the withdrawal, Kyoto.**

When they found out Miles had magically disappeared from his cell, the whole fortress was induced to madness.

To _confusion._

It took them only half an hour to find out his hostage had gone missing but they were so freaking desperate. It was amazing what rumours about one single man could do.

Everyone, _everyone,_ in that place was sent to search for Miles in and out doors and while half the men were really determined to find Miles, the other half was completely terrified of him and rooting not to stumble upon him, hoping the other half would find him first.

_He could kill fifty people with a single shotgun!_

It was one of the rumours spread.

While men ran up and down and about, looking for him, Miles was still laying down on the floor, in a pool made of his own cold sweat.

His body temperature around sky high degrees.

He was having a conversation.

Every time Miles would close his eyes, he'd end up in a room with someone else.

The other person was sitting on a brown couch, their legs crossed. Casually drinking something while discussing really important issues with Miles, about his own life.

Miles couldn't understand if they were a man, or a woman, he couldn't narrow it down by the voice or clothes. A proof that whoever you choose to be doesn't depend on what you wear or how you wear it.

It has nothing to do with it.

\- Your mother's projected her fears on you. You can sing but you can't swim; change two letters and you've lost an ability.   
\- I know... - Miles whispered.   
\- Why have you stayed around her for so long, then?  
\- She's my mother and... I kind of understand her, now.   
\- Does it have to do with your biggest fear? - The voice asked.   
\- I'm not afraid. - He replied.  
\- Not now. But you have been for years. Your whole life, actually. -The voice pointed out.

They were talking about Miles' irrational fear of being alone.

 _Loneliness_ would make the hairs in his arms raise.

\- Specially because I'm not alone. - Miles whispered as he followed Death's feet with his eyes.   
\- Yes. That might be it.

Miles' conversation was interrupted by the sound of shaking keys on the corridor, just outside the door.

\- _He's here! -_ A voice soared.

Soon the corridor was full of curious eyes, all wondering how the hell Miles had ended up in that cell instead of in his _original_ one.

And then a voice was questioning Miles about something, feet were hitting him in the ribs.

But he just stayed there.

\- _He's not gonna say anything._  
 _\- Do we leave him here?_  
 _\- Go get the Master. He'll decide._

On Miles face, a tiny smile had found a home.

He was still back in the room with the voice on the couch. His feverish mind hadn't made it back to the cell and he was really, really grateful that he wasn't going to be alone when he died. That whoever that voice belonged to, it had turned into a friend's voice, by now.

It meant _loneliness_ would never come true.

_———————————————————————_

_-_ Hey! - Thomas waved to Suki as soon as she appeared in the hallway, on her way to get the door. - Are you sure it's a good idea to leave just the glass door closed instead of...  
\- Hey! - She smiled at him. - Yeah, yeah. I...

_I'm kind of waiting for Miles._

\- Come on in. Tell me about your trip, is everything ok with your parents? - She asked.  
\- Yeah. There's a couple of news from there.  
\- Yeah? Tell me about it!

By now Suki seemed a bit shaky.

She sat down on the couch and crossed her legs, her feet were restless.

\- Are you ok? - Thomas asked, frowning a bit.

Suki sighed.

_I have to tell him._

\- Thomas! - Austin walked into the living room. He had a huge smile on his face, due to the sight of his new friend.   
\- Hey, buddy! How are you? Did you enjoy your holiday?   
\- I'm fine, thank you! Yes, it was pretty fun. I made two new friends so yeah...   
\- That's amazing! - Thomas gave Austin a high-five. - And how's this little lady doing? - He asked, pointing at Tiny.

Suki was just following with her eyes.

\- Very well. She has learned for good not to jump on people. I got home and she just sat there, waiting for me to talk to there.   
\- That's very good. What a good girl! - Thomas petted the dog.

Austin laughed a bit.

\- I'm glad you're back. - He told Thomas, at last.  
\- I'm glad you're back, as well. Your mom and I've missed you very much. - He smiled a bit at Austin.

He really liked that boy.

\- Austin, love. I was about to have a conversation with Thomas so if you could go back to your room a bit I'd be really thankful.  
\- About that thing? - Austin asked his mom.  
\- Yes. About that, too. - Suki nodded slightly.  
\- Alright, then. Bye, Thomas. - Austin waved goodbye to Thomas and made his way back to his room.

Suki was staring out the window.

Looking anywhere but at Thomas' face, even though she knew she had to tell him and that it could go down two ways.

\- So? - Thomas asked.

Upon arriving, he knew he shouldn't wait for a kiss or anything like that for Austin could be home and Suki had chosen to wait until Thomas was back so they could talk to Austin and let him know they were together.

So he was associating her nervousness to that.

\- I got a letter. - She said, turning around to face Thomas. She chose not to show him the letter for her and Miles' finances were none of his business. - Miles is in Japan. He's alive.

_So he is definitely coming back._

Thomas just kept looking at her.

\- I think... that's good news, right? - He asked, at last.   
\- Very good news. You have no idea how relieved I feel.  
\- Yes. Yes. But at the same time I sense...  
\- We can't tell Austin anything right now. I mean, he's pretty shaken by the news as it is so I don't think he could handle... us.

Thomas cleared his throat.

\- Yeah, I see.  
\- I'm sorry.   
\- It's... fine.

Silence filled the room as Thomas and Suki struggled to look at each other.

\- You had some news to tell me? - Suki asked, breaking the silence.  
\- I... uh. Yeah, my parents are fine. My dad's writing a book. - He smiled a tiny smile. - It's just that...  
\- What? - Suki asked when Thomas made a long pause.   
\- They invited me to spend a few months there and I figured you and Austin would like to go with me since... But now it's just not... a good time.   
\- Yeah, it's not a good time. - Suki echoed Thomas.

It seemed she had a golfball stuck in her throat.

All this time waiting for Miles and then finally accepting he wasn't coming back and then getting together with Thomas and visualizing a new life by his side just to have her hopes completely crushed in front of her eyes.

They couldn't be together, now.

\- I'm sorry. - She whispered to him.   
\- Is Austin happy? - He asked, locking his eyes to hers. Studying her face.   
\- Now, yes. At first he was unsure but now he's as happy as it gets.

Suki decided she wasn't gonna lie.

\- Then that's it. - He mumbled, shaking his head a bit.   
\- It wasn't supposed to happen like this.   
\- I know.

Thomas got up from the couch and buttoned his jacket up again.

\- You're leaving already? - Suki asked, getting up, too.  
\- Yes, I am. - He said, walking towards Suki. He put his arms around her and she hugged him back.   
\- Don't leave. - She whispered.   
\- I have to. I just stopped by to check on you. Have lots of things to do back home, still.

It was true.

But it wasn't anything Thomas couldn't postpone, as he was originally planning to do so he could stay at Suki's a little.

\- I thought he was dead.   
\- It's alright. Anyone would've. I started to think that, too.   
\- I'm sorry, Thomas.   
\- It's ok. - Thomas said, at the same time he felt his heart sinking in his chest. - I have to go, now, but I'll be back as soon as I can.   
\- Please, do that.   
\- I will. - He nodded at Suki.

Suki walked Thomas to the door but didn't watch him leave for she closed the real door behind the glass door. 

Like she was supposed to.

_———————————————————————_

\- So?

**Four days since Miles had magically appeared in another room, Kyoto.**

\- It turns out he was right. - Hanae said, putting down her gloves.   
\- Tell us already!  
\- They moved Miles to the "hospital". He's really sick.   
\- Oh no. - Caterine clicked her tongue and shook her head. - Did he say what Miles has?

The man they had bought to move Miles to another room had contacted them, again. He told them he had some important news to tell them and for the _right price_ he could spill all the beans.

\- He told me Miles' got a fever and stopped responding to any kind of... torture. That's the _only reason_ he was moved to the hospital.   
\- Fucking bastards. - Rolf said, enraged.   
\- That means we can't move. - Caterine said, widening her eyes up a bit, at that realization.  
\- What? - Rolf asked.  
\- We don't know where the "hospital" is so if we get in there it's gonna take too long for us to locate Miles and we could get caught.   
\- But we have the blueprints. - Hanae said.   
\- There isn't a "hospital" in the blueprints. Nothing even close to it. - Caterine said, studying the map, yet again.   
\- You have been in and out that place. - Rolf pointed at Hanae. - Where is the hospital?   
\- I don't know, I haven't even heard of that, before.   
\- This can't be fucking happening right now. - Caterine said, looking at the others. - The tunnel we're digging will end just in Miles' holding cell! If only he could have... waited for a couple of days more.

She sounded frustrated.

\- It's easy for us to say that. - Rolf said.  
\- I know. It's just... I can't believe it.   
\- We gotta think. - Hanae said, looking around the map for some word she could have missed when she was translating the locations in the blueprint to Rolf and Caterine.   
\- We have no time for a new plan, now. - Rolf said, shaking his head. - We gotta stop everything and do the rest ourselves when the time comes. We can't risk to have those men around us so we'll pay them and threaten the hell out of them so they'll go away for good. The rest of the tunnel we'll have to dig as soon as we hear Miles is back in his cell.  
\- You're right. I hate it but you're right. - Caterine said.  
\- I hope that doesn't take long. - Hanae said, running her hands on her hair.   
\- And I hope Miles does make it back to his cell. - Rolf added.  
\- He's been holding on all these months... I don't think he'd give up right now. - Caterine said, looking down. - It doesn't sound like him.   
\- It doesn't. - Rolf agreed. - The thing is: it's not in his hands, anymore. Miles is a tough son of a bitch but if he's so... sick to the point he's stopped responding to anything... I've never seen Miles in that situation.   
\- But he's been shot and survived. - Hanae said while Cat and Rolf were staring at her. - I mean, I've seen the scars and he told me the stories. - She explained.

 _When Miles got shot, he was probably very healthy and strong and had help as soon as possible. I don't think he's in those conditions, right now._ Rolf wanted to say.

But he just couldn't.

\- It's gonna be alright. - It's what he said, instead.

Staring into the eyes of the possibility of losing his friend to his own body.

_———————————————————————_

Sukiwas pacing around her living room, sipping on a glass of wine.

Her eyes would fall upon the painting on the wall, every now and then.

Thomas' voice would echo in her mind.

_...like a masterpiece where its edges are so rarely perfect._

She heard knocks on the door.

Suki put the glass down on the end table by the window and went to get the door.

\- Thomas? - She frowned upon the sight in front of her. - Where are you going? - She asked, looking at his suitcases in his car, parked in front of the house. And then she noticed the dogs on the backseat. Ruby and Astro were looking at her through the windshield.  
\- I... err. - He had turned around to look at the cases, too. - I've come to say goodbye. - He announced.  
\- What? - She asked, a bit breathless.  
\- May we have a word?   
\- Yes, I... Come on in.

Suki let Thomas in and then followed him through her own house.

They ended up at the kitchen.

\- I thought about it and decided to go stay at my parents house for a while. I was gonna go there, anyway, so I figured I could... extend the visit up a but.   
\- When are you coming back? - Suki asked in a small voice.  
\- I don't think I will be back. - He said, slowly.

 _Why?_ Suki thought of asking.

But she already knew why.

\- Is this it? - She asked, instead.   
\- I think so. - Thomas said, also in a small voice. - I'm sorry. I just can't stay.   
\- I understand. - Suki nodded a bit at Thomas. - I'm sorry. - She added.  
\- Nothing to be sorry for. - He shook his head and smiled a bit at her. - We've shared some good things and there's always the memories that are left of it. It's gonna be fine.

Both knew their romance was ending right there, even though "the end" was never mentioned.

\- I think Québec is gonna be a good place to stay for a while.   
\- They speak French. - Suki said, smiling a sad smile. - You hate French.

Thomas laughed a bit.

\- Guess I'll have to figure it out and get used to it. Anyway, I'm always in for an adventure.   
\- I know. - Suki said, stroking Thomas' cheek.

He smiled at her.

\- May I have a kiss for the road? - He asked. She kissed him in his cheek, near his mouth. - That's _the_ girl. - He said, pushing a strand of hair behind her ear.  
\- Promise you'll write every now and then?   
\- If you promise to do the same.   
\- Then it's a deal. - Suki nodded.  
\- Deal.

Thomas asked where Austin was but found out the boy was at school so it was impossible to say goodbye to him, personally. A letter was written and Thomas hoped Austin could forgive him for leaving, too.

\- Be ok, will you? - Thomas asked Suki, while getting into his car.   
\- I will be. - She said, holding up Tiny so she could say goodbye to her mom and dad, as well. - You take care.  
\- I will.

Suki watched as Thomas' car disappeared around the bend.

And instead of "I'm sorry" all she could think about was "Thank you".

_Thank you for being so wonderful._

_———————————————————————_

When Miles woke up, he noticed he was somewhere very light.

He was alone.

Miles slowly turned his head to look around and it was when he acknowledged how fucked up he was, even though that realization faded very quickly.

He was all dirty and smelly.

And cold.

_It's so fucking cold._

Miles tried to get up but he was chained to the metal bed he was laying down on.

\- A bed... - He whispered. - Why the hell am I in a bed?

Despite having his body wrapped in a bunch of blankets, Miles was still shivering a lot.

And sometimes he would know he was hallucinating. Ever since that episode where he got lost in the woods, he would just acknowledge fully that he was hallucinating. Even though that sureness also only lasted a moment.

Miles turned his head to look at the rest of the room—which wasn't the one he had been since he had gotten in there or the new one with the window—and he had been staring at a blank wall for a while now when he felt something, _someone,_ approaching him.

He didn't have to turn around to look.

From the corner of his eye Miles could see his most devoted friend approaching his left hand where, cruelly, his wedding ring was. It was something his captors always tried to make sure he always had, at all times.

An important small part of the torture sessions.

Long fingers touched Miles' hand and took off his wedding band, putting it inside of a small box full of ashes.

_A payment._

And then he was gone.

Miles drifted in and out sleep several times.

He didn't know how long he'd been kept in that room but the next thing he knew is that he was shoved into a round wooden tub with freezing water up to his chest.

His eyes were shot open and he swore he couldn't breathe as he felt the cold stinging his skin like he was being stabbed by hundreds of tiny knives at the same time.

 _What the fuck you're doing?_ He wanted to ask the two men holding him in the tub. But his words were stuck.

\- _Stop splashing! -_ One of the men complained. - _We're just trying to make the fever go away._

If Miles knew there were a few people terrified of him, in that place, he'd surely identified those two as two of them.

_Cold water, of course._

Some nurses had done that to Austin, in the hospital, too, when he had a fever as a toddler.

Of course Suki went mad about that but in the end, it was the only thing that made the fever go away for good.

Miles thought he had stopped splashing because the men stopped complaining about that. They washed Miles' body with a not-so-soft sponge and then dressed him up with fresh clothes. Combed his hair, too.

\- _Where is his ring?_ \- A man asked the other.  
\- _I don't know._  
 _\- We gotta find it!_

The men shackled Miles back to the bed and wrapped him in the blankets, again.

They searched around the room—and inside the tub—for a whole hour but didn't find Miles' ring.

Miles was sleeping by the time they gave up and left.

The pattern continued and Miles would wake up and fall asleep a few minutes after, again and again. Maybe he had been doing that for days on end, he couldn't tell.

After a while, someone came into the room with some food but Miles just wasn't able to eat anything. He felt nauseous and his stomach was hurting.

He vomited and then passed out.

It took days, that actually felt like years, until Miles stopped feeling so damn cold and could stay awake a while longer that a few minutes at a time.

By then, after countless attempts of making any food go down his throat, Miles was finally able to eat a bit of soup without any pain or nausea.

He started to understand why they were taking care of him, now.

\- _Look who's finally up. -_ The tall man said, stepping into Miles' _hospital_ bedroom.   
\- I've been up for while. - Miles replied, in English.   
_\- So I've heard. -_ The Master said, in Japanese.

None of them were having each other's bullshit.

\- I see you've decided to hire a bunch of nannies to take care of me, now. Soup's really good.   
\- _Dead men don't feel pain, so I figured I should do something about your health so I could carry on doing my job._  
 _-_ So I figured. Still pissed about Kayoko, aren't you? I wonder where she is, now.   
\- _Italy. -_ The man said. - _She was seen there by some of my men._

Miles gulped.

\- Just seen? - Miles asked, trying not to look phased.  
\- _Let's keep her thinking she's free, right? And well, if she's really capable of getting to Kazuya, then she'll be doing something for me, too. He's always been between the two of us._  
 _-_ So if he's gone then you and Kayoko could be together?  
\- _We will be_. - The man said while his eyes fell upon Miles' fingers and the lack of a ring.   
\- In your dreams, maybe. - Miles tried not to look at where the man was looking.

_So you too want Kazuya dead... the list is ever growing._

_-_ What about your loyalty to him? Or are you tired of being told what to do? You're not his brother, are you?   
\- _That's none of your business. And this is not a social call. I've just come to check on you so I'll decide what's gonna be next. Your old room waits, Miles._  
 _-_ Good _._ I miss that place. - Miles said, cynically.

In fact, the old room was really the best place in that house. He was put there _after_ the torture sessions so it meant that while he was there, there wasn't gonna be any pain.

\- _I thought so. Eat up, Miles. I'll need you in your best shape._

The man left the room and Miles just kept staring at the closed door.

 _They managed to get to her!_ Miles was screaming inside of his own head. _This is terrible news._

That meant Kazuya was still alive, on the run, and his family was still not safe.

_Why is it taking so long for her to find him!?_

_Well... at least she didn't get caught yet so I've got that going for me._

Miles laid back on the bed. His head was pounding.

Another week passed and for Miles, it was time to be taken back to his old room. On his last days in the _hospital,_ Miles had tried to look for his ring, himself, but no success.

Deep down he knew what had happened but now that he was sane, again, he refused to believe it.

When Miles was a kid, he had heard a lot of stories about a ferryman called _Charon_. Apparently, his job was to carry the souls of the newly deceased across the rivers Styx and Acheron that divided the world of the living from the world of the dead.

In order to afford that ride, the deceased relied upon their living relatives to put a coin over each of the dead's eyes so Charon would accept to take the soul down the river. Those who could not pay the fee, or those whose bodies were left unburied, had to wander the shores for one hundred years.

Since he didn't have any coins, Death had been kind enough as to take Miles' ring to offer to Charon, as payment.

It was what Miles thought.

\- I'm starting to believe children stories, now. - He whispered to himself and scoffed.

When morning came, two hooded men came for Miles, as well. They cuffed his hands and put a blindfold on him.

\- You know, you guys could have cut my hair. I look like Monalisa, or something.

The men didn't say anything.

They just took the blindfold off before locking Miles up in his room.

The one without the window.

_———————————————————————_

**Two days later, Kyoto.**

\- Guys, it's time! - Hanae announced as soon as she came back from what the friends wished it'd be their last "meeting" with their informer. If that kept on happening, they'd end up out of money, again.

She had a smile on her face that could be mistaken for a grin due to pain.

Or fear.

\- No joke? - Rolf asked. His face lit up.  
\- No joke. Miles is back in the room.   
\- Finally some news we can work with. - Caterine said. - We gotta get there.   
\- Three hours until nighttime. - Rolf announced, glancing at the clock on the wall. - Get ready, girls. This is it.


	25. Home

\- Shut up! Quit whining, you look like a little fag or something.

**The Wirral, 1905.**

\- I'm sorry. - Miles whispered while his father poured some vodka on his face to clean the fresh cut he had acquired from a fight. It burnt like hell.  
\- Next time you come home like that I'm spanking you myself.

Miles gulped.

\- They were five. - Miles tried to say.  
\- I'm sorry? - His father looked at him.   
\- No. Nothing. I'll never come back like this, I promise. - Miles turned his head to look at his father even though he could barely open one of his eyes and was feeling a lot of pain on his ribs.   
\- You're too old for this shit. What did you do, anyway?

Miles just stayed silent.

\- I'm talking to you.   
\- I... It was about a girl. I told her something and she... she kind of... told people.  
\- You should never trust women, ever! It may look they're on your side but they never fucking are. - Peter sighed. - Them and them tears... Always so fucking emotional, always ready to fuck everything up.   
\- So you don't trust mom? - Miles asked after a few minutes of thinking.  
\- It's different.

Despite everything, Peter did love Pauline and often felt guilty for gambling his money away but the addiction had become bigger than his love for her or their son. Bigger than the guilt he felt.

\- But I wouldn't risk telling her anything you and I are up to when we _go get paid._ I don't think Pauline would ever betray us like that. Nonetheless I take all the precautions there are to take.

Peter put his cigarette out on the ashtray.

\- Listen up, Miles. You're growing up fast and you'll soon start to pay attention to your surroundings but you should never put your freedom in the hands of any woman. Your boys will always back you up but your girl would hardly do it. They'll want you to stay home and be a loser. I'm raising you to be a winner. Don't ever trust them. Don't let them in your businesses. Try to do things in a way they don't get suspicious of anything, ever. Women are the equivalent of jail so be careful.   
\- Mom would never send you to jail.  
\- Oh, she would. She would if she'd ever catch me cheating.   
\- Do you? - Miles managed to ask even though at that very moment he had inhaled a bit more deeply and the pain on his ribs just increased a hundred times.  
\- No. Have got no time for that. But you remember it, son. If your life ever depends on a girl, in this business; consider yourself dead. - Peter said, getting up from his chair. - Now go take a shower before your mother shows up and freaks out over the red on your shirt. You know she ain't used to blood.

———————————————————————

It'd be a lie to say Suki didn't cry a bit here and there.

Austin did too.

Mother and son always pretended to be fine in front of each other but when the night came and it was time for them to go into their respective rooms, they'd lie down and shed silent tears.

Austin was terribly disappointed and Suki was terribly heartbroken.

Sometimes when she was alone in the house she would just sit in front of her painting, her last and only piece of Thomas, and stare at it for hours on end. Sometimes she'd get closer to it and run her fingers on the dry paint, feeling its texture.

Those actions were always accompanied by a bottle of whatever alcoholic beverage was at hand and a bunch of cigarettes. Suki had quit smoking a few months back but now she was alone, she had started to feel so awfully anxious she just couldn't help it.

Austin would often complain about that.

The days seemed like never ending laps around the clock and all the bright colours of the landscape seemed to have faded. At least in Suki's eyes.

She didn't think she'd fall in love with someone in such a way that it felt like they had taken the Sun away with them when they left.

Everything just felt so bleak, now.

To avoid going insane, Suki hired her maid back. Isla was lowkey very happy to get her job back since she really needed and also because she admired Suki, in a way. The way she'd run things.

A few attempts of writing a letter to Alexa had been made but the fear of sending anything and getting her friend into trouble was bigger than her need for news.

The number of days since she'd gotten a letter from the bank started to pile up and Miles never showed up, that only made Suki feel much more hurt and confused and heartbroken over the whole failed thing with Thomas.

\- I should just... No, I can't go. I can't go there.

Suki sighed.

_This is so hard._

Then she chased down her feelings with a sip of bourbon.

For someone who had never been a fan of routine, Suki's days had become more and more of the same thing as the time passed. It was maddening.

Four weeks felt like such an awful long time.

It felt almost like four whole years.

\- Isla? - Suki called down the hall.  
\- Yes, mam?  
\- I'm going out. If Austin comes back home before me tell him I won't be gone long, please.   
\- Alright.   
\- I didn't cook anything today so if you could fix something for him to eat I...  
\- Yes, I'll do that.   
\- Thank you.

Isla just nodded at Suki with a tiny smile.

Suki had never been the one to leave the house without a real purpose. Whenever she'd leave, she knew where she needed to go and why.

From the grocery store to a club, in her final teenage years and last twenties. It had always been like that.

So roaming around town would be something really difficult for her to do.

Suki tried not to really look at the people around her for she was really afraid that if she'd see a glimpse of happiness she would fold within herself and crumble. It was something really horrible but it was true.

She was also afraid she'd see someone who would bear any resemblances to Thomas and she couldn't take it.

A feeling hit her.

\- I think I understand you now, Miles. - She whispered to herself as she lowered her head and walked faster.

Despite being there for Miles and never ever judging him, Suki could never really understand how someone could be so affected by the _withdrawal_ of someone with whom they had lived together for only a few months. She would support Miles and also leave him alone whenever he needed but she would never really understand.

At least not until that had happened to her, too.

Suki just randomly walked until she got to a park. It was really beautiful, with lots and lots of big trees and their dark green leaves. The water in the pond so clear that you could see all the fish in it. Swimming endlessly around each other.

In the sky the Sun was a bit covered by the clouds but it was still a beautiful day. It wasn't too cold... well, it wasn't cold at all, and it wasn't crowded.

Actually, only a handful of places in Ontario were crowded, the majority of them at the downtown area. It was never really too overwhelming.

That was one of the things Suki loved.

_Peace._

She sat on a little white bench and kept staring at the pond. The goose bathing and playing in it. A grey cat walking around some bushes, hunting something. The grass being delicately blown by the wind. The creaking of the trees.

_Peace._

Suki closed her eyes for a moment and tried to clear her thoughts.

\- I can't do this. - She said, shaking her head a bit and lighting up a cigarette. She got up from the bench and started to make her way back home.

She hung her coat behind the main door of her house and let her body fall on the sofa with her hands between her knees.

_I gotta find something to do or I'll go insane in no time._

She was restless, again.

Suki glanced at the clock and calculated in her mind what she could cook before Austin would get back home. She was about to get up and tell Isla that she'd fix lunch for Austin, herself, but then her eyes fell upon the painting, again.

And again Suki felt like she had something stuck in her throat.

She got up and walked into her bedroom, instead.

Closing and locking the door behind her.

————————————————————————

\- How close are we now?   
\- I have no idea but if we keep up the pace, maybe we'll be done before morning comes.  
\- Yeah, but the tunnel is starting to collapse and we can't dig it much more wider than it already is. - Cat said, looking back at Rolf who was holding a lamp with a dancing flame inside.

She wiped the sweat on her forehead with the back of her hand.

Rolf, Caterine and Hanae had been digging for hours and hours now. They had to move slowly so they wouldn't make much noise and be sure the walls wouldn't collapse and bury them alive inside a random fortress in Japan.

\- It's narrow enough for just one person, now. - Cat continued.

Rolf squinted his eyes at her.

\- What do you propose? - He asked.  
\- I carry on. There's only so much left and you won't fit from now on. We can't risk the walls.   
\- It's just...  
\- You know I'm right.   
\- But can you really do it? - Rolf asked, he looked really concerned.   
\- Are you seriously doubting me? - Cat asked back. She meant to only joke she was pissed off by Rolf's question but he believed it and started to stutter and apologize. - I'm messing with ya, relax.

Hanae laughed a little laugh from the back of the tunnel.

Cat smiled a little smile.

\- Who would've thought being inside of a hole in the ground would lift your spirits so much. - Rolf joined the banter.  
\- I know right. Well, yes. I can do it. I've got the tools and we're really close now. Listen to me.  
\- Yes?  
\- Grab Hanae and leave. There's nothing you could do here anymore. Go check if everything's alright with the dynamite and etc. Check the fucking wires for God's sake, don't let it fail, it cannot fail.  
\- Yes, I'll do that... but are you sure? If I don't fit in this space, will Miles?

Cat paused for a second.

\- Miles is pretty fucked up, remember? - Hanae said. - According to that _friend_ of ours, I mean.  
\- That's true. - Cat said, nodding. - And besides, we know he's chained and I'm an expert at picking locks so it really has to be me, I'm the one who has to get in.   
\- I didn't want to say anything because I hate looking like a fool but I'm scared. - Rolf held the lamp a little higher so they could take a better look at Caterine's face. - I'm afraid you won't come out.

They locked eyes for a second.

Hanae didn't dare to say anything, they all knew that was a _real_ possibility.

The three of them could back each other up but only one of them to fight, if needed, _and_ take care of Miles... _if_ they'd really manage to get in there, for starters.

Rolf had a reason to be afraid.

Caterine turned her eyes away from Rolf's so he couldn't see them getting darker.

\- You're both making me waste precious time. - She said and cleared her throat, turning around to keep on digging. - Go. I'll be back with you as soon as possible. _Miles and I will_ be with you as soon as possible.

Rolf froze in his place for a second.

_What if this is the last time?_

He meant to touch Caterine's arm and maybe kiss her once she'd turned around but he heard Hanae's voice calling him so they could leave and then he just put the lamp on its spot by Cat's left side and started to back up until they were too distant and the tunnel was too dark so he could see Caterine, or her silhouette, anymore.

Inside the tunnel Caterine was doing her best and ignoring the sound of the creaking walls. She would occasionally stop and put pieces of wood to support the weight on the spots she had just dug but despite knowing what she was doing, her heart wouldn't stop racing.

Both because of fear and because she was about to see Miles, again. Take him out of that awful place and so they could all go home.

\- Hang on, Miles. - She whispered to herself as she hammered another piece of wood on its place and pushed more dirt to her right side, clearing up the way.

————————————————————————

\- _Come in. -_ The tall man said. He was sitting on his desk by the window. The room was warm for the fireplace had been lit. Several shelves of books surrounded the place and the atmosphere of that room diverged from the misery Miles was living in since he'd arrived.   
_\- Benjiro-san._ \- A younger man bowed in respect.   
\- _What do you want? -_ Benjiro asked, sipping on his tea, not really looking at his servant standing by the big wooden door.   
\- _I'm afraid I do not..._

Benjiro lifted his gaze to the other man's face.

\- ... _bear the best news._  
 _\- What is it? -_ Benjiro repeated, in an urgent tone, putting his teacup down on the dark surface of his desk.  
\- _Kayoko and Kazuya Kamenashi are dead._  
 _\- What? -_ Benjiro stood up in a whirl, knocking the teacup over all his papers.  
\- _They died in Canada. -_ The young man said, taking a step forward so he could explain to his master everything he already knew it'd be asked. - _Apparently Mr. Kamenashi found out about the location of Mr. Kane's wife and set for her. Mrs. Kamenashi was just following him and both engaged into a fight and killed each other._  
 _\- HOW'S THAT POSSIBLE? -_ Benjiro yelled. He was fuming.   
\- _After we lost track of her when they left Germany, it..._

The man stopped talking and just kept watching as Benjiro looked around for something on his desk and then on the shelves.

\- _Get the pond ready. -_ Benjiro told his servant.   
\- _But sir... it's frozen._  
 _\- WORK IT OUT!_  
 _\- Yes. Yes, sir._  
 _\- You have 'till morning._

The servant just nodded and left the room, closing the door behind him and leaving a very angry Benjiro by himself.

If we're really being honest, we could call it _shock_ instead of anger. Benjiro wasn't used to lose things, he'd always find a way of getting what he wanted and the fact he'd taken over his cousin's place after he "retired" to become an actor and move to France, proved that. Benjiro was _decided_ to kill Kazuya and take his position just days before he announced he'd leave.

And angry because Kazuya could, in fact, leave whenever he wanted. The very opposite of his own situation.

Benjiro would never be able to leave that position what meant he couldn't start a life of his own and then he took on Kazuya's role of locking up Kayoko, aka the _love of his life_ , so she couldn't leave as well.

He wanted it all. He wanted to fill in Kazuya's shoes but he also wanted the freedom not being in Kazuya's shoes meant. It didn't make much sense.

The only problem being that Kayoko's never loved Benjiro.

She had fallen in love with a restaurant owner back in Florida, from when she went to supervise Miles' friends and wife demises.

Needless to say that being the bad loser he was, Benjiro took out all of his frustrations on Kayoko herself, torturing her as if that was gonna make her love him.

Or at least fear him.

But Kayoko was even more resilient than what Benjiro ever judged her to be and so she held on to her heart through all those years.

And then she died never accepting being forced into a "love" she didn't acknowledged.

\- _FUCK! -_ Benjiro screamed at the top of his lungs, throwing the teapot against the wall. He punched his desk a bunch of times until he had bruises on his knuckles.

When he was finished trashing the room, Benjiro combed his hair with his fingers and adjusted his clothes. Took a deep breath and adjusted his posture as if nothing had happened.

It was something actually disturbing to watch.

He left his office right after.

Miles was sitting on the floor on the middle of his cell. He was tired for he had been writing with his precious bullet on the walls. Like he'd do to a journal.

He had his eyes closed and was rocking his body back and forth in an attempt of maintaining his body temperature stable. It made him even more exhausted but it was _that_ or freezing to near death.

Pattering on the floor and singing one of his songs out loud, Miles was definitely trying to stay optimistic about surviving another night in that place. The winter was still in full swing and there were times he simply didn't know what to do to keep himself "warm" but to curve his body into a ball and sing until he'd fall asleep not knowing if he was going to wake up, again. And sometimes his jaw would just tremble so much he couldn't even sing.

Completely unaware of what was happening outside and underneath him, Miles' voice was just making Caterine work harder and harder, with a tiny smile on her face.

All of a sudden Miles stopped singing and started to pay attention to his surroundings. He closed his eyes and focused on the sounds.

It... sounded like there was something being scratched right below him.

Miles frowned and kept on listening, looking at the floor, now. He put his ear on the ground and confirmed something was really going on on the ground below.

_If this is the Devil coming to get me, I wish he hurries up because this place is cold as fuck._

Playfully, Miles knocked on the ground.

He just didn't expect the _ground_ would knock back at him.

\- What? - He asked himself, getting up in a flash.

He heard keys jingling on the corridor and looked around, confused, before sitting back on the spot he was and pretending nothing was happening.

Benjiro walked in.

\- Oh, it's just you. - Miles said, getting up. - Wait, what the—

Benjiro held Miles by his throat, lifting him up in the air, pushing his back against the wall. Miles had his hands around Benjiro's hands, trying to weaken the grasp around his neck. On top of that, Benjiro had brought in with him his favourite shock device.

\- IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT! - He'd scream at Miles' face.

It wasn't until Miles had started to turn blue and the veins on his eyes started to burst, that Benjiro let go of Miles, shoving him into another wall.

Miles was coughing for his life and his sight was completely black. Even if he tried, he couldn't even run; his foot was chained to one of the walls by a long chain.

Not giving Miles a break, Benjiro approached Miles with the shock device, again.

This time, being caught completely of guard for he couldn't see still, Miles screamed in horror and pain and threw up a bit, almost suffocating to death. That didn't make Benjiro stop.

\- Why? - Miles managed to ask after a few minutes of just struggling to breathe. - Why are you so furious?   
\- Kayoko is dead! She died because of _you_!

Miles felt a shiver going down his spine.

_If she's dead then..._

\- She tried to save your fucking family from Kazuya and both died. But don't worry, Miles... - Benjiro grabbed a handful of Miles' hair and pulled his head back. - It's in my hands now. Let me tell you something you don't know; your family is in Canada and I'm gonna go there and skin them alive, inch per inch.   
\- Over my dead body... - Miles spat out at the end of his strength. - And I knew all along... where they are.   
\- That's already being taken care of. - Benjiro kicked Miles repeatedly. On his ribs, on his face. - What do you think about a pond full of carnivorous fish? I promise to be patient and let them eat you slowly. It could make it last for days, don't worry. You took my love away from me, now I'm gonna destroy everything and everyone related to you or that has ever been yours.

Miles didn't know what to do.

He had really lost everything.

\- She was never _your love_ , you sick fuck. You put her through hell.  
\- And do you wanna know another secret? - Benjiro ignored Miles' comment. - Do you happen to know how I acquired all the information I needed to torture you the way we did? No? Well, I think you'll find it very interesting.

————————————————————————

Frozen in her place, with her eyes full of tears, Caterine was waiting for that screaming to stop so she could carry on with the digging.

If she tried to move faster and get in there and save Miles, her transition from the hole to the room would be the moment they'd catch her and have both her and Miles as prisoners. It was no use.

So she just had to keep quiet and listen to Miles cough and scream and ask "why". Hear someone screaming at him from the top of their lungs and understand what was going on. It was a pity she couldn't immediately get in there and hold Miles and tell him that Kayoko had told her that, when she'd finally taken Kazuya down, she'd "die". Disappear.

It was all part of the plan. Miles didn't have to be scared.

He just didn't know about that.

Having no way of keeping track of the time, Caterine might as well have passed hours waiting for the silence to fill her ears so she could start digging again.

For what she'd heard, she really had _no_ time to lose.

At some point, Cat felt so overwhelmed that she started to dig with her own hands. It was just moments before she hit the cement and then she started to work with the other tools, not really minding about making noise anymore.

She just wanted to take Miles out of that place.

\- Miles? - She called in a hushed tone while pushing aside small pieces of stone and brick. - Miles?

She could barely see anything for she'd spent too long in the dark since the oil in the lamp ended.

\- Miles?

She was now inside of the fortress.

Caterine pushed her body through the end of the tunnel and stood on her feet.

\- Miles? - She continued to call.

She felt a hand wrapping around her ankle.

\- Oh my God, what have they done to you?

Caterine ran her fingers through Miles long hair, pushing it back and keeping it away from the fresh cuts on his face.

\- Are you real? - He whispered back to her. Adjusting his position so he could sit facing her.   
\- Yes. - She nodded when he touched her face covered in dirt. - I'm sorry...

Miles just shook his head.

\- I told you to go home.   
\- Rolf wouldn't give up on you. And Kayoko told me to come back.   
\- She's dead. - Miles sounded sad.   
\- That's a talk for another hour. Now we gotta get out of here. Do you think you can walk?  
\- I gotta. But my foot is chained to that wall.  
\- That's not a problem at all. Do you think the chain is long enough to get to the tunnel?  
\- I think so.   
\- Alright, come.

Caterine helped Miles to the tunnel and then she got in it to grab the pliers so she could break a link of the chain and set Miles free.

They were struggling against the iron for fifteen minutes when both heard keys jiggle outside.

\- No. Go, leave me. Leave me. - Miles was trying to push Caterine down the hole.  
\- No fucking way! - She protested while she kept trying to break the link. - It's almost...  
\- Cat, they'll kill us both. They'll kill you!  
\- I don't mind, I didn't come all this way to leave you. If only...

All they needed was a final blow, a bigger amount of force and that would solve their problem but how would Caterine double her strength out of a sudden?

\- Cat... - Miles said, looking back at the door.   
\- Alright. I know what to do. Close your eyes.  
\- Why? - Miles asked, with his eyes already closed.

He heard when Caterine inhaled and held her breath and then let out a loud whimper when she hit the handle of the pliers with her arm and broke both the link and her bone.

\- Oh my...   
\- Come. - She said, almost crying.

Miles quickly pushed the chain away from his foot and jumped into the hole just when somebody got into the room.

_\- GET SOMEONE IN HERE!_

He heard Benjiro yell at someone at the same time the man itself jumped into the tunnel, as well.

In front of Miles, despite her broken arm, Caterine was crawling as fast as she could. Both her and Miles immersed in the dark. Behind them, Benjiro was yelling his lungs out, threatening to do horrible things to Miles and his partner in crime. Miles felt when Benjiro grabbed the leg of his pants.

They were lucky that the width of the tunnel was small so only Caterine and Miles, having lost several pounds, could crawl through its first meters without any difficulties but soon the tunnel would become more large and then Benjiro would have real chances against Miles.

\- He's stuck, we can make it. - Miles shouted in the dark. Even though he knew Caterine was in front of him, he didn't know how far ahead she was. - We can make it, keep going!

After several minutes of desperately crawling, the infamous light at the end of the tunnel was finally seen. It wasn't the light of day but that little lamp hanging by the exit of the tunnel meant as much as the Sun.

Miles heard Rolf yell Caterine's name and a pair of boots running, maybe to get her, just moments before he got out himself.

\- The dynamite! - Caterine yelled at Rolf and then both her and him ran towards the detonator. - Now! There's a man after us!  
\- Miles is out! - Hanae announced, running towards Miles.   
\- Clear! CLEAR! WALK AWAY FROM THE TUNNEL! - Rolf shouted back at Hanae and Miles.

Hanae stopped in her tracks and turned around to run away from the tunnel and so did Miles. Caterine was next to Rolf, she hugged him from behind and protected her face on his shoulder.

Rolf activated the detonator and everything collapsed with a deafening sound. Stones were flying everywhere and so the four friends threw themselves on the floor to protect their bodies. There was dust everywhere and then after a few moments part of the fortress itself started to crumble down, as well. Miles looked back at the wrecked building and the roaring fire and couldn't help but to think of Austin; his letters to him, written on the walls of his cell, were finally being sent.

And Benjiro was finally in the warm _place_ he belonged.

A few moments passed and when it was possible to see more than one feet ahead of themselves, the friends walked towards each other and Rolf hugged Miles like he never wanted to let his cousin go away from him ever again. Caterine had a permanent smile on her face.

\- Thank you. - Miles whispered. Both were crying a little. - Now let go of me because you're crushing what's left of my ribs.

Rolf laughed a little and then let go of Miles. He then kissed Caterine lightly and started to take his shirt off to rip it up and make a support for her broken arm. He whispered an apology to her.

And then it was when they all finally stopped to look at each other's faces, under the moonlight.

\- Miles, you... - Hanae touched Miles' face next to his left eye.

His only one, now.

Miles glanced at Rolf's waist and made a quick move to grab his gun. He centered it on Hanae's forehead.

\- Oh, I know. Thank _you_ for that.

Both Rolf and Caterine stood frozen in their places with overly confused expressions all over their dirty faces.

————————————————————————

**14 months ago, Kyoto.**

\- What have you got for me?   
\- Some urgent news. Thought you should know.

Hanae invited Benjiro into her booth at the restaurant.

Lee wasn't in town and she had bribed her security guard not to tell his boss anything about that little detour to meet that certain man.

\- You better make it worth my time.  
\- There's a man coming to Japan. Someone who has a _beef_ with Kame. Do you know anyone who goes by the name of Miles Kane?

Benjiro paused for a moment.

\- Actually... yes. Yes. Kazuya had some sort of loose ends to tie regarding this man. But why should I care he is coming to Japan?  
\- Because he is going to help Lee to get to Kazuya and _stop_ him all for once so Lee can be the only one to run the Tokyo business.  
\- Getting greedy, huh?  
\- Yes. Old man is trying to fly too close to the Sun. He's about to get burned. - Hanae said, sipping on her drink.   
\- What is your plan? - Benjiro asked, lighting up a cigar and taking a drag off of it.  
\- I still don't know the details but I feel Lee is gonna keep this man under his wing. And I will, too. Already asked Lee to be the one to take care of him. I'm gonna get him to open up to me, tell me all his plans. Get him to trust me.  
\- Why do you think he'd do that?  
\- Because he's got a dick. - Hanae squinted her eyes at Benjiro. - And when they decide to think with their dicks, men become too easy to lead on. I gotta keep him away from Kazuya.  
\- I admire your devotion.   
\- I know he is gonna come back to me. You know... it's public knowledge he is divorcing his fat ugly wife. In no time he is gonna be back in my bed, at the place he should have never even left.

She sounded bitter.

\- You never accepted his choice of leaving Japan, did you?  
\- No.   
\- It didn't matter, Hanae. Elisa met Kazuya here in Japan. Even if he hadn't left...

Hanae's glass exploded into her hand.

\- Shit! - She cursed, holding her bleeding hand open.   
\- Angry much? - Benjiro provoked, taking out his handkerchief to wrap it around Hanae's hand.   
\- Fuck you.  
\- But I still don't see a reason why I should be aware of this Miles man coming here. So far, it feels like your interest in this matter is purely romantic.  
\- It is. But this is the man who helped to arrest Al Capone. - Hanae said, looking into Benjiro's eyes. - He fucked with the Italian mafia and didn't die. He fucked with Kame and didn't die. He's got something about him that can be really dangerous. I don't want him around my man.  
\- Kazuya's left the Yakuza, he's on his own now. I don't see why I should care.  
\- Because Kayoko is still here.

Benjiro turned his full attention to Hanae.

\- If Kame had to run, he'd take Kayoko with him. She's his secret weapon, the ace up his sleeve. And you don't want her away from you, do you?  
\- No.   
\- Exactly.

Hanae and Benjiro, who was an expert in torture methods, met several times before Miles arrived in Japan. She told her everything she'd managed to dig up about his past and about his present. She told Benjiro all about the Arctic Monkeys and Lillian-Sterling-Jones-Kane. The part Kazuya had taken in the deaths of them all.

\- I think I can work with that if needed. - Benjiro nodded at Hanae after she'd told him about Miles' son and new wife.

After Miles had arrived, Hanae and Benjiro's meetings started to take longer to happen but on each one of them, Hanae would disclose more and more about Miles' mental health and Lee's plans regarding the English man.

When Kazuya left Paris, it was the last time Hanae met up with Benjiro. She was radiant.

\- He should be here in a couple of months. I'm sure he is coming. I _know_ he's coming to me.

And then when the coup Lee's own men pulled on him happened, Hanae had to team up with Miles and it was when she started to feel guilty. But it wasn't until she'd really found out Kazuya had ran, not to her arms, that she turned against everything she believed she felt for Kazuya, so far.

It was when she heard Miles talking about his plan of having Kayoko kill Kazuya. She was so hurt and so angry that she would do _anything_ to help. And so she did.

But it was too late.

Miles' enemies already knew too much.

————————————————————————

**Now.**

\- Miles... what are you doing? - Caterine stuttered upon that strange scene.

Miles didn't seem to hear.

\- Miles? - Rolf called too.  
\- Why? - Miles asked, for the second time on the same night.   
\- I was afraid you would end his life until I realized he didn't care about me.   
\- You didn't care I had a life, too?   
\- I didn't know you.  
\- Exactly. You didn't know my values.  
\- What are you talking about? - Rolf interrupted. - Miles, put the gun down. - He demanded.  
\- This woman right here told the people in charge, inside that slaughterhouse back there - Miles was referring to the fortress in flames, behind them. - everything about me. Every detail I shared with her, every hurt I spilled over glasses of wine. She told them about my son and my wife. She told them about my friends, she told them about Lillian. She told them about how I nearly went insane... I trusted you. I opened up to you in a way I hadn't opened up in a decade and what did you do?  
\- I opened up to you, too!   
\- TO MAKE ME TRUST YOU! TO MAKE ME FALL IN YOUR TRAP! - Miles yelled at Hanae's face.   
\- Rolf... - Caterine looked at him.

Both were shocked.

\- Inside that place they replicated my darkest fears. They got people to simulate they were my son, that they were Suki... screaming for help for hours on end. Blaming me for everything. Blaming me for their pain. - Miles' hand started to shake. - They got someone who looked like Lil and shot her in the head in front of me! THEY MADE ME GLADIATE... they made me gladiate an Alex Turner... I killed him... You have no idea what else happened to me inside of that place.   
\- I'm sorry... - Hanae whispered, looking at Miles' face.

Miles fired his gun.

\- YOU'RE SORRY? - He yelled at Hanae who now had her hands over her left ear.

Miles had moved his hand and fired a shot right next to Hanae's ear. He knew that it could make her go deaf.

That's why he did it.

She had blood coming out her ear, now.

\- The last thing I need is your pity! You fucking monster! No wonder why you're alone, why you haven't got anything there for you! You and Kazuya deserve each other. He'll be waiting for you in Hell, as soon as you get there. - Miles said, in the verge of popping a vein out of anger.

Hanae looked at him with a confused expression.

\- He's dead. - Miles spat out with pride.

By now he had started to really tremble. Could barely stand still and his ribs were making it harder and harder to breathe.

\- Rolf... Rolf grab him. - Cat elbowed Rolf with her good arm.

Rolf grabbed Miles and the latter left his weight fall over his cousin.

\- I never, _never_ , want to see you again! I made vows in my life but nothing would give me more pleasure than choking the life out of your filthy body.   
\- Leave. - Caterine whispered to Hanae. Shaking her head as a sign that everything was over. As a sign that her help had been appreciated but their relationship was over and she was in danger, now.

Hanae looked back one last time before leaving. She looked hurt.

Miles started to tremble harder, both because of the cold air and because of his wrecked body. It was like he had cracks on his body that allowed the cold get to his bones, wrapping itself around the marrow of his life.

\- Miles? Miles?  
\- He's convulsing. Lay him down, quick! - Caterine approached Rolf and Miles and sat down on her legs, on the floor, so Rolf could put Miles' head on her lap. - Hold him still.

Cat and Rolf worked on keeping Miles stable until the crisis was over.

\- Look at him, Rolf. He's...  
\- Doesn't look like himself. - Rolf shook his head, looking back at Caterine.   
\- Do you think he's gonna make it? When I got in there he was lying on the floor, I didn't know he was so hurt. I mean... I found it odd that he was so _numb_ to see me but... He's too hurt, Rolf. He's lost an eye!  
\- Shhhh. Don't cry, my love. He's out, we're gonna take care of him, it's gonna be alright. Don't cry.   
\- My arm hurts. - Caterine said, pouting a little. She was finally allowing herself to show some weakness and be a little silly for she was super tired.   
\- Aww. I'm gonna take you to the hospital as soon as possible, ok? - Rolf caressed her cheek. - You're gonna be fine, too. It's all gonna be ok.  
\- Great timing for romance, you two. - Miles said, looking up from his place on Cat's lap.

Cat and Rolf laughed a little.

\- Sorry, pal.   
\- It's alright.   
\- How are you feeling now, Miles? - Cat asked.  
\- Disappointed. Relieved, also. Heartbroken.  
\- Kayoko didn't die. - Cat said. - I mean, probably not.   
\- Huh?   
\- She told me she would pull this stunt after she'd killed Kazuya so nobody would go after her. If that's the case, you have nothing to worry about.  
\- How will I be sure?  
\- You won't. We won't. You just have to focus on yourself now and the fact that it is all over. - Caterine said.   
\- Austin is safe. - Rolf told Miles, who cracked a huge smile.

He was missing a couple of teeth.

\- Don't go getting angry with us but do you remember that river? The one by the—  
\- Yes. - Miles interrupted Rolf.   
\- So... we're all taking a wash there. Including you.   
\- Yeah, Miles. You've got blood all over yourself. - Caterine added.

Miles sighed and moaned a tiny moan when he felt a prick in his ribs.

\- I don't really have a choice.  
\- We can't go back to the inn looking like we do. Rolf's brought clothes for you... maybe it won't fit really well but we can make it work.  
\- It's fine. - Miles said, looking at Caterine's face. - Thank you for breaking me out, guys. I'd 'ave left you behind, Rolf. Wouldn't ever think of coming back for you. - Miles joked.   
\- Good for you I have never followed your orders. - Rolf told Miles, helping him get up so they all could go away and leave that place behind, forever.

———————————————————————

**Two months later, somewhere in the Indian Ocean.**

After they managed to sneak Miles into the inn they were staying, Cat and Rolf took care of his wounds, cut his hair, shaved his beard. Put a patch over his damaged eye.

\- Do you think it is bouncing back? - Miles asked Caterine, about his eye.

She just shook her head.

They told Miles everything they'd done. How they went to the bank and how Rolf posed as Miles. How they needed Suki's permission to withdraw the money and how she was probably aware of where Miles was.

\- It was the best thing that could have happened. Every day I wished I could send her a sign I was alive, ask her about Austin. I wrote him so many letters...  
\- Letters? - Caterine asked.  
\- Yeah... sort of.

Also, Miles arranged for Hanae to get back all the money she had "invested" in that operation. He didn't want anything from her.

All of the ties with Japan had been cut.

Miles was in much better shape now. He had gained back half of the weight he'd lost and was no longer fainting or bleeding through his gums.

The trip back home was going well and all there was left for Miles, Cat and Rolf to do was sit back and relax.

On a certain night, Miles was smoking on the upper deck of the ship when he spotted Caterine and Rolf at the other end of the boat. He was about to call them when he saw Rolf pulling out a small box and going down on one knee. Miles then leaned over the board to watch his friends on the lower deck.

He couldn't help but to smile widely when he heard Caterine's laugh. She had been behaving so carefree, lately. It was beautiful to watch.

Rolf got up again and put the ring on Cat's finger. Then he leaned her over for a passionate kiss. Both started to laugh when Miles started to applaud.

\- I'm happy I got to witness that. - Miles spoke a bit louder for the wind was blowing a bit stronger than usual and so it could become harder for his friends hear him, downstairs.  
\- How long have you been standing there? - Caterine asked playfully.  
\- Enough to see the whole thing. Congratulations, Caterine. You just managed to tie down the biggest fuckboy in all England—  
\- Come on, Miles!  
\- Am I lying?   
\- Currently, yes. I might have been a "fuckboy" but Cat here is a wild heart and then it made it much more difficult for me to get to her than the other way 'round. - Rolf said, shrugging at Caterine.  
\- That is true, though. - She said, kissing him in the cheek.  
\- So wild that I had to propose here so you wouldn't run away from me. I mean... cats hate water so it isn't like you were gonna jump into the ocean or something.

Cat laughed out loud.

\- What was it? - Miles asked.  
\- Nothing. Go mind your business. - Rolf dismissed Miles as Caterine kissed him in the mouth, this time.  
\- See you guys in the morning!

Miles walked towards the opposite end of the deck and sat on a chair. Lit up another cigarette.

After some moments he got lost in his thoughts and found himself looking at his hand where his wedding band should be.

_I miss her so much..._

A shiver went down his spine.

_Did that really happen? Did it...?_

As the weeks passed by, Miles would put together his plan to locate his family as soon as he got to Canada. He knew they were there but didn't know exactly where. He thought of going to the bank, like Rolf had done, but then he remembered they'd been told Suki had granted permission for a year worth it of withdrawals.

He had another idea.

\- So, where are you guys going when we get back to America? - Miles asked Rolf and Cat.  
\- Home, I think... - Cat said, looking at Rolf.   
\- Yeah, I got my life settled in Florida. Don't see why leaving now. - Rolf agreed.  
\- I think I have some good news for you, then. Well, since Suki and I are getting a divorce—  
\- What? Miles, but—  
\- Let me finish. So, as I was saying, since Suki and I are getting a divorce and _selling our house_ in Florida, for which I'm gonna need her to sign some papers and also disclose her location to my lawyer... - Miles raised his brows at his friends, who had just understood the plan. - I'd like you two to have the house. I'll sell it to you for one dollar just to make it legitimate.  
\- So you're moving to Canada?  
\- Or somewhere else. Before all of this happened, Suki and I had agreed to move. I had suggested Puglia, in Italy. But since she's in Canada, maybe she won't want to move so soon, again. But yeah, for now is where we're going to live and so we'll have no use for our Florida home. I'd like you two to 'ave it 'cause that place is where I lived some of the best moments of my life. It was where my son took his real first steps... It's an important place and I just couldn't give it away to anyone else. I want you two to build your life together there so you'll know what happiness really feels like. It's my wedding gift to you.  
\- Oh my God, Miles. That is so sweet. - Caterine squeezed Miles' hand. He smiled at her.  
\- I won't go back to get anything so you can do as you please with all of the stuff that's still inside.   
\- Thank you, cous.  
\- You'll be hearing from my lawyer! - Miles pointed at Rolf, joking.

The three friends laughed.

A couple of weeks later the ship docked at New York City and Rolf, Cat and Miles partes ways. They hugged and exchanged words and instructions. Promises to see each other again.

Miles got into a train to Michigan and from there he followed to Canada.

The first thing Miles did when he arrived at Winnipeg was to hire a lawyer. He told the man a story about how his wife wanted to divorce him and had ran away with their son and now Miles couldn't find her so he needed help. He knew that if the lawyer dug really deep he'd find out those were all lies, but Miles decided to play with his odds.

A few weeks later, after also having arranged the selling of the house, Miles finally heard from Suki. The lawyer, being told to be careful, managed to get Suki's address from a real estate company and gave it to Miles, along with the divorce papers and the custody papers he'd need. Miles thanked the man, paid him, and then started to make his way to Ontario.

\- I hope this is the last time I'm gonna 'ave to catch a train in a reaaaally long time. - Miles whispered to himself as he adjusted his position on his seat.

At her home, Suki was happily dancing around her living room with Austin. She had decided to get rid of the painting Thomas had gifted her and after burning it down to ashes, it started to feel like she was capable of carrying on, again.

She had started to heal.

A few months went by since Thomas had gone away and Suki would always push herself out of her room, out of her sadness, out of her comfort zone. She started to take Austin out to buy ice cream more often, she'd go sit at the bench at the park more often and she also joined a gardening class. It could be useful to tame all the plants around the house.

On that specific Sunday morning, Suki and Austin had just returned home after a long walk with Tiny. The three of them were feeling pretty energetic and when a song both Austin and his mother loved started to play on the stereo, they decided to push the furniture around and have a little dance party. Tiny was playing around them, trying to fake bite their ankles as they danced.

It caused both mother and son to spiral down a laughing fit.

Monday morning came and Suki was up earlier than usual. She made peanut butter sandwiches for Austin to take to school and also made some waffles for them both to have for breakfast. They sat down at the kitchen island and ate slowly. Suki walked Austin down to the spot the bus always stopped by to pick him up.

She made her way back home and grabbed her tools to do some gardening.

It was the middle of the morning when someone knocked on the door. Suki, who had just taken a break from her plants and had headed inside to drink some water, hurried off to answer the door.

\- Coming! - She announced before checking herself into the mirror to make sure there wasn't dirt on her face.

She approached the door and opened it in a swift move. And then she froze for a few seconds.

\- Hello? - Miles half asked, frowning a bit at Suki's reaction. He had a tiny smile nestled in the corner of his mouth. - Honey?

Maybe it wasn't the best strategy, to show up at Suki's frontdoor and knock on the door as if nothing had happened but Miles was too tired to come up with elaborate returns. He just wanted his normal life back. And that included knocking on doors instead of crawling through tunnels.

\- Miles... - She finally snapped back into reality. - Oh my God! Miles! It is you! - She laughed, really happy.   
\- It is I! - He said, laughing a bit when she threw her arms around him. - Oh my... look at you, you're so thin! - She said, taking a step back and squeezing the sides of Miles' both arms. - What happened to your eye? Let me take care of it.  
\- Honey, slow down. - Miles put his hands on Suki's both shoulders to hold her in her place. - I'll explain everything. I swear I'm not ever leaving again. Where's Austin? - Miles asked, looking at inside the house, over Suki's shoulder.  
\- He's at school. OH MY GOD WE SHOULD PICK HIM UP!  
\- I agree.   
\- I'm so happy you're back! I knew it. I mean, there was a point I didn't think you would come back for real but then I got a letter from the bank and—   
\- Suki?  
\- Yes? - She looked at him with big eyes.   
\- Breathe. - He said.

Both laughed lightly.

\- What are we still doing at the door. Come on in! Welcome _home,_ Miles. - She said, stepping aside so Miles could walk in.

After having calmed Suki down—what took a couple of hours—and explaining to her everything that was really crucial at first, Miles asked her to sit by his side on the couch to discuss some stuff he was planning to talk about exactly when Austin wasn't home.

He actually wanted to run to Austin' school and pick his son up and hug him for a straight year long but right now it seemed the right time to talk about the deal he had to propose to Suki.

\- So you had all this extra trouble to find me? - Suki asked, glancing over the divorce papers she was now holding.  
\- Yes. But I'm really proud of you. - Miles nodded at Suki. - It wasn't easy to find you and it was only possible because I had the lawyer to give me the real estate agent's info so I could go there and talk to him myself. It wasn't a _cheap_ conversation, if you know what I mean.  
\- I understand.  
\- Yeah. So there's that. I'm really proud of you and I'm really happy you really managed to keep Austin safe. I didn't doubt you for one second but I was really afraid they would catch you off guard. When you were sleeping, for instance... - Miles shook his head as if he was trying to clear his mind.   
\- But it's over now. It's all over. - Suki smiled at him.  
\- Yes. And what I wanted to tell you, though, is: these divorce papers are real. If you want to walk away from me, after everything I put you through—keep in mind that you had to kill a man because of me—I would totally understand and support your decision. It wasn't what you signed up to when we got married, the deal was just raise Austin together.

Suki just kept staring at the sheets in her hand.

\- I've been through some hard times, that's true. And if it wasn't for you, my life would be much easier. If you had never seen me with Austin, all those years ago... I have thought about it so many times.

She turned her head to look at Miles. He was offering her a pen and a tiny comforting smile.

\- I'd hate to have it any other way. - Suki said, tearing up the divorce papers. Miles' expression had changed to a really surprised one. - I'd do it for you again and again and again. While you were missing, and I mean really missing... no sign of you for months on end, I fell in love with a guy. A neighbor of ours.   
\- Suki, you don't have to—  
\- It lasted a couple of weeks and it ended when I heard from you again. I hated you for it. But then time started to pass and I realized that even if I loved Thomas, I wouldn't be able to live, to be away from you, if I knew you were here. If I knew where you were. Miles, I hate to admit it and I'm only gonna do it now because all of this made me realize that the things we regret the most are really the things we never say, or try, and I'm afraid I might not get the guts to say it if not now. But it took Thomas to make me realize I do really love _you_ and I am not leaving you unless you expressly tell me to. Unless you tell me you hate me and want me to go away.

As Suki talked, Miles felt something crawling inside of his chest. He thought that he had really, for the first time ever, acknowledged his feelings towards someone else. From all his talks with Caterine and the things she pointed out... But it turns out he was wrong, again. He was just an expert on hiding his feelings from himself to a point he didn't even know they were there.

On the nights on the ship back home, Miles would often catch himself wanting to point out things to and discuss them with Suki. It was when he really realized something was _wrong._

Before that, itwas his nights sleeping next to Hanae that made him realize he wished he was laying down next to Suki to hear her tell him about her day, and not just someone else.

It was all the things he started to realize only after he thought he had lost her forever.

Miles didn't say anything, he just hugged Suki and buried his face on the curve of her neck. They stayed quiet.

\- I know that there's less of me to love, now. - He said after a few minutes, referring to his blind eye and couple of teeth missing on the back of his mouth on the left side. He swore he'd have that fixed as soon as possible, he felt ridiculous. It was an attempt of a joke so he could make Suki get used to the fact he was now _half_ blind.   
\- Stop it.   
\- No, but really... Even if we've spent so long apart that maybe so much of me has changed and you don't know me anymore, I promise... - He let go of her and backed up a bit so he could look at her face. - I vow to be the best man I could ever be. For you and for Austin, for myself. I hate it to admit it too but it took an awful Japanese _scammer_ to make me realize I love you. I know this feelings are all crooked and everything... but it's what we 'ave. And it's you and me and Austin against the world.   
\- It is more than enough. - Suki said, kissing Miles on the right side of his face. He smiled a bit. - Promise me you'll never ever leave me again?  
\- I promise. - Miles nodded, kissing Suki on her mouth. - I'm home, now.


End file.
